Chapter Thirty-Eight

  As Yao Qiyun said, no matter how impulsive Situ Xuan was when she left home, she would eventually return. In the past, she thought she had everything, but after leaving home, she found that she was nothing. Although Wu Jiang repeatedly asked her if she needed to stay at his house for a few days, Situ Xuan still refused. On the one hand, hiding was not a solution, and on the other hand, it was really not suitable to add trouble to Wu Jiang's family during this sensitive period.

  Situ Jiu'an didn't dare to confront Situ Xuan again, not that he had lost his temper, but because he wanted to save face. Not long ago, his daughter, who was once the pride of the family, had become a shame to the household. Others might not say it out loud, but thinking about the past praise for "teaching children properly" made him feel like he had been slapped in the face, far more painful than the beating he gave his daughter. This "family misfortune" was enough to make him unable to hold his head up outside for several years. However, since he had already scolded and beaten her, the fact remained that he couldn't let his daughter die as an apology. Not only could he not do it, but she was also his own flesh and blood. Besides stomping his feet, there was nothing else he could do. Fortunately, his wife reminded him that there were more pressing matters at hand, and they had to make up for lost time, even if it was late.

  So, that night, Situ Xuan returned home, and what awaited her was a strange silence. Everyone was in their own room, no one came out to accuse her, nor did anyone care where she had been. Yet, she could distinctly feel that they were all awake, listening to her footsteps, thinking about their own affairs.

  The next morning, it was Aunt Yao who put some medicinal products in her room, both oral and external, which were very carefully matched. This could not have been out of Aunt Yao's kindness, but rather because her mother had shed more tears over this matter than Xiao Yue. However, when the mother and daughter met briefly downstairs early that morning, their mother, who was about to go out, said nothing, but gave Xiao Yue a painful and resentful look.

  It wasn't long before the posts of those two perpetrators disappeared silently from the campus BBS, and all the replies discussing related content were also deleted. More than a dozen pictures that had thoroughly stirred up the adrenaline of onlookers were completely cleared out. The website returned to its usual calmness, except for complaints about the school cafeteria and the usual romantic entanglements of young people. However, when Sī Tú Yuè returned to the school library to return the last batch of books he borrowed before graduation, the originally listless librarian couldn't help but stare at him with wide eyes for a few seconds after seeing his name on the library card, before quickly shifting her gaze away.

  Such a gaze was undoubtedly a common occurrence for Si Tu Xuan at that time, and if she wanted to continue walking in the daylight, she had to get used to it. Not to mention people who were not related to her, but even her friends, so many friends, except for Wu Jiang, who didn't avoid her with flashing eyes, as if they were more guilty than her. This guilt was like a healthy person unintentionally bumping into someone with no limbs or meeting a terminally ill patient in the hospital, deliberately not looking or mentioning it, with a hint of embarrassment. Since that time when she ran into San Pi and Xiao Gen on the street, Si Tu Xuan didn't dare to turn back after passing by acquaintances, fearing that she would disturb their whispered conversations and pointing fingers, their awkwardness was too much for her to bear.

  Zou Jin's office door is tightly closed, and the school has set up a special task force to investigate this extremely bad incident, striving for a thorough investigation to restore academic integrity and create a pure and clean campus environment. As the focus of public opinion, it is still unknown whether those accusations are substantiated by evidence, but he is now absolutely unsuitable to appear in formal school settings, which is an unspoken fact that everyone understands.

  It is said that after the incident, Zou Jin proposed to pursue legal action against those who obtained and made public his personal private photos through improper means, and claimed that the person who ruined his reputation was his student Liu Zisu. However, Liu Zisu admitted that he was the one who posted the "conscience" post, but firmly denied that the subsequent photos were spread through his channel. In fact, the IP addresses of the poster and the photo uploader did not match, and if the investigation proved that the content of his post was true, it could not be considered defamation, and Zou Jin's accusations would be in vain. Si Tu Jue sighed that Zou Jin had lived for many years but was still naive and laughable, and in some ways, he was not even qualified to be a beginner in front of his unqualified students, no wonder he suffered a crushing defeat and became the target of public criticism. As various voices supporting Liu Zisu and seeking justice for Tan Shaocheng began to emerge, including many respected figures within and outside the school, many of Zou Jin's work and life problems gradually surfaced, and he became the target of public criticism. Those who admired and envied him also began to wake up.

  Oh, so he's that kind of person.

  It's true, I should have known it all along, how could he possibly be any different!

  Compared to Liu Zisu, Tan Shaoheng's experience has received more attention and sympathy. The world is full of injustices, and when they are inadvertently exposed, they are even more shocking. People who know her and those who don't all feel a sense of sadness and anger on her behalf. All public opinion is overwhelmingly in support of her demand for justice, as if not doing so would make oneself the next victim of a dirty deal. There are rumors that media with keen senses have already intervened, and Situ Xuan has thought long and hard about what role she will play in those reports. Will it be one of self-destruction or shamelessness?

  But such reports did not appear, Tan Shaocheng did not stand at a high place and throw down the expected pebbles to Sito Kar-wai in the deep well. She was very quiet in the center of the storm.

  One day, Sik To Kit saw Tam Siu Shing being treated as a honored guest at his own dinner table.

  Mr. and Mrs. Situ treated her with great care, apologizing to her in person as Situ Xuan's parents, only asking her not to pursue the matter further, fearing that she would not mention any conditions.

  "Say something, say a word." Mother was anxiously tugging at her daughter's sleeve under the table, while her stubborn daughter remained silent, staring at the honored guest in their home, standing by the table and refusing to take a seat.

  Before Situ Jiu'an made a move, Tan Shaocheng said softly to everyone present: "I never thought of extorting anyone with this matter, nor do I want anything except an apology, and she has already apologized, that's enough. Uncle, auntie, and Qiyun, you don't have to say sorry, the matter has nothing to do with you, and I won't pursue it further. Let this matter pass." She smiled self-deprecatingly, "After all, encountering Professor Gao for postgraduate studies is already a lucky thing for me. Moreover, even the scholarship, Situ Yuan has already given me that 4,000 yuan, enough for me to go home and see my dad for the last time. We're even now."

  Upon hearing these words, Situ Xuan almost shed tears, and those tears should have been filled with the joy of great forgiveness and the emotion of self-reproach. Yes, it must be so.

  After dinner, Situ Xuan lifted the curtains of the room and looked at the scene downstairs. Her parents were sending Tan Shaocheng out the door with grateful faces, while Yao Qiyun was repeatedly reminded to send her back to school safely. It was a bit unexpected that Aunt Yao didn't come over, but earlier she had shown such obvious affection for that girl who was so different from Situ Xuan. Maybe at this moment, she was in the kitchen wiping away tears with the apron stained with oil fumes, "What a good girl."

  Dad and mom went back to the house, but Situ Xuan still stood there watching. Watching them walk side by side, watching them walk away. She and Yao Qiyun hadn't spoken in a long time. She was blaming him, the whole world could distrust her, but he couldn't. Unfortunately, she had probably subconsciously understood that he didn't believe her, the whole world could trust her, but he refused to. He never escaped the fear of being a thief, holding the jade in his hand, yet doubting whether he could own it, this anxiety would one day turn into suspicion about the quality of the jade.

  Perhaps she shouldn't be so stubborn, at this time, she couldn't help but bow her head. If she cried, if she bitterly explained herself, would it make him feel better? But Situ Xuan understood even more clearly that if from the beginning Yao Qiyun had made an untrustworthy assumption, under this premise, what explanation wouldn't be a sophism?

  Mom said, after inviting him several times, Yuan Shaocheng was initially unwilling to come, thanks to Qiyun's intervention.

  Tan Shaocheng will naturally give him face. They have never lacked a common language. Situ Xuan has never seen the back of himself and Yao Qiyun walking together, nor does he know if they would be more harmonious than this pair in her eyes.

  Their figures were about to disappear from Situ Xuan's line of sight, when suddenly, Tan Shaoceng seemed to have accidentally tripped over a stone on the ground, and her body stumbled. Yao Qiyun steadied her in time, until Situ Xuan stood on tiptoe but still couldn't see any further, he didn't let go of her hand.

  Situ Xuan's stubbornness began to collapse from this moment on. She hated Yao Qiyun, but no matter how they quarreled and fought, it was always just between the two of them. Even when Situ Xuan cursed him and refused to forgive him, at the bottom of her heart, she still considered them as a whole, like a pair of jade pendants that were destined to be each other's other half, never thinking that they could also form a circle with someone else.

  She called Yao Qiyun, but the ringing went unanswered. Situ Jin rushed out without thinking, she didn't know what she was chasing after, if she ran fast enough, would she make it in time?

  She met Yao Qiyun alone at the crossroads, grabbed him with one hand and threw herself into his arms, holding him tightly and refusing to let go.

  "Should I say sorry? Don't go, sorry..."

  Yao Qiyun was startled by her tears. "What are you talking about?"

  "You're mad at me, aren't you? I'm willing to apologize, I don't want you and her to be together."

  He fell silent for a moment, as if he understood something, and slightly tilted his neck to gaze at her tearful eyes.

  "You don't think you've done anything wrong, why say sorry."

  "That day I was very confused, didn't want to explain anything, I was afraid that even if I said something you wouldn't listen, I never exchanged anything with Zou Jin, I don't know what he did behind my back..."

  Situ Xuan said, and then she couldn't continue, only to see that ten meters away, Tan Shaocheng was standing quietly waiting for her, with his hands clasped in front of him, holding the backpack that had been washed until it was a bit faded. A car whizzed by, and the night lights illuminated her figure for an instant as if it were daytime, only to be shrouded in darkness again.

  Yao Qiyun struggled lightly, "I forgot to bring my phone, I'm afraid your parents have something to look for me, so I came back to pick it up. Shao Cheng is still waiting for me, I have to send her back."

  "I'll go with you."

  He pulled down one of her hands that was wrapped around him. "Why bother, do you think this is good?"

  "I don't care if it's good or bad, I have something to say to you. I can tell you the whole story from start to finish, and if there's even half a lie, I'll never be at peace, forever..."

  "Ah Wei, you really don't have to be like this."

  "This is my business, I have to make things clear. You're going to send her away, fine, I'll wait for you to come back. Are you afraid it's inconvenient to talk at home? Let's go to 'Behind Time', I'll be waiting for you there."

  "No need, I still have things to do, it might be very late."

  "I can wait until very late."

  "I told you I couldn't go, don't wait for me, why can't you understand?" His voice finally had emotional ups and downs.

  "You can't go because of her? I don't believe you like that kind of person!" Si Tu Xuan pointed in the direction of Tan Shaocheng and said sternly.

  Yao Qiyun turned around and looked at Tan Shaochen, who was motionless, then slowly said to Situ Xuan: "What kind of person is she? That day you said a sentence that was very right, you said you didn't know why we were together. Ah Xuan, actually I and you are two completely different kinds of people... perhaps it's not that I've fallen in love with someone else, but rather I can no longer tolerate you! I feel tired."

  He shook off another hand that Si Tu Xuan had left on him, seemingly giving up the idea of going back to get his phone, and turned around to walk in the direction of Tan Shao Cheng.

  "Xīng dropped his thoughts and stared blankly at his back, saying: 'Remember, I'll be waiting for you there. You don't have to come, but I'll wait until the last minute of today.'"

  However, when this day was about to come to an end, Yao Qiyun did not show up.

  A Yuan left a blank small note for Sito Jie.

  "Do you believe time can flow backwards? If it's possible to go back in time, what would you do?"

  In the past, Situ Xuan had never uttered a word about this and just smiled it off.

  In the last minute, she hastily scribbled out the words on the note.

  There was originally written: "I want to find Sito Yan from that year and tell her: you mustn't fall in love with that person."

  Under the scribbled marks, she rewrote in the most careless handwriting: "If someone met a man named Yao Qiyun in the past, please tell him for me that on July 4th, 2001, until the last second of that day, I was still waiting for him here."

  However, in the very last second, Szeto chose to set his watch back by one hour.

  She thought, as long as she waited a little longer, he would still come.

  She has waited for Yao Qiyun many times here, and he never failed to show up.

  As long as Yao Qiyun appears in front of her, Situ Xin is willing to put down all his pride and principles, which are more important than life, to ask him to stay.

  She can even say: "What kind of person do you want me to become? As long as you're willing, I can change!"

  The twelve o'clock chime from the nearby square punctually shattered Sutu Xuan's obstinacy, putting an end to all of this. In the long, resonant chime, Sutu Xuan trembled uncontrollably, thinking she would cry, but not a single tear fell, only awakening from a great dream.

  She tore the paper strip in front of her, ashamed of her recent madness and self-abasement, as if possessed by the most ferocious ghost, whose name was "Loving him".

  Situ Xuan was born as Situ Xuan and could only be this kind of person, just like he is destined to be the current Yao Qiyun now. No one can change it.

  The next morning, Situ Ke returned to his own home and opened the door with his key. His family was having breakfast in the dining room.

  Situ Jiu'an threw a pair of chopsticks in her direction as soon as he saw her.

  "Get out and don't come back if you don't want to."

  Xue Shaoping was answering a phone call, pressing down on her husband's shoulder with one hand, using her eyes to signal to her daughter to hurry upstairs.

  Situ Xuan picked up the chopsticks that had fallen by his feet and put them back on the dinner table. Yao Qiyun stretched out his hand to take them. His eyes held a meaning that couldn't be expressed, and he hesitated for a while before asking, "Have you eaten yet?"

  Situ Xun shrugged. Following her mother's instructions, she quickly returned to her own room and closed the door, still able to hear her mother talking on the phone.

  That phone call was from Wu Jiang's mother. The Wu family was also in a mess, their only son insisting on getting married, while Mr. and Mrs. Wu had just been shocked to hear that their son's fiancée was involved in a scandalous affair. No family could tolerate such a scandal, but Wu Jiang said his mind was made up.

  Of course, these were things that Situ Jing knew later on.

  Situ Xuan also heard the news of Qu Xiaowen's death. Qu Xiaowen hanged herself in her dormitory on the graduate student building, simply tying a knot with her stockings, one end hanging from the iron branch of the air window and the other around her neck. She had always been independent and didn't have any close friends, and even her roommates moved out to co-rent an apartment off-campus with their boyfriends. Since it was summer vacation, there were few people in the graduate student building, and she hadn't been seen for a while after that incident, so most people thought she just didn't want to show her face and had gone somewhere to avoid attention. It wasn't until the aunt responsible for cleaning the graduate student building smelled a strong odor that they opened the door with the security guard, but by then Qu Xiaowen's body had been hanging there for a long time, already rotting in the sweltering summer heat, making it hard to recognize her face. The first security guard who opened the door reportedly vomited immediately.

  The police car also drove around the graduate building, and Qu Xiaowen's parents were in a small town 500 kilometers away. They rushed overnight and made great efforts to confirm that it was their excellent daughter. Then they kept shaking and couldn't even cry. Through on-site investigation, the police concluded that the cause of death was suicide. There was no note, not a single word left for anyone, Qu Xiaowen locked herself in her dormitory and went to another world without any warning. The motive was easy to come by, those rumors and photos were enough to kill any young girl who valued her face. The time of death also had a preliminary answer after discussion, which should be 8-9 days before the body was found.

  Ke Si Tu Xue knew exactly which day, she also knew that Qu Xiao Wen cared most about was not those things in their so-called motives.

  Just as Qu Xiaojuan stretched out her hand, Wu Jiang slightly withdrew his hand for a moment, and she was already dead.

  Happiness is always infinitely close, just a little short, but forever can't be reached.

  Situ Xuan did not attend Qu Xiaowen's funeral, nor did she have the courage to call Wu Jiang and ask how he was doing. She curled up in her own blanket, and the warm sunshine pierced through the thick curtains, but she shivered with fear.

  She felt that among the dead was also herself.

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