Although Soda and her comrades were still prisoners they were far more comfortable than they had been in Viralvania. Rikugun-Taisho Toomar took them to her own home, where she lived in great luxury, being one of the prominent Buboes.

  They went into Toomar’s house and sat at her dinner table with her super best friend Bartholin, a stay-at-home dad. Toomar went to the front door and rang a bell and yelled:

  “Kids! Suppuration time!”. Two plump children waddled in and joined them at the table. Each family member had a bowl set before them. They leaned forward holding their faces over the bowl, then squeezed the sides of their head. Eventually a magenta tapioca pudding-like substance began oozing out of their eyes… then their noses… then their mouths. A great deal spurted out of their top knots, missing the bowls and splattering across the table. They kept squeezing out goo until the bowls were filled. Then each family member moved their bowl to the family member to their left, then they all started ravenously eating the gunge with big magenta gold spoons. Fortunately the Toomars had some swankberries amd cranknuts for Soda and Pucas to eat. Chunks, being a golem, didn’t require food but she sat and engaged in conversation. She asked Toomar if anyone had been thrown off the skyland before. Toomar answered:

  “Once there was a ruler of the Buboes who was cruel and overbearing and imagined he was superior to the people he ruled, so one day his subjects carried him to the edge of the island and threw him over the shrubberies."

  "Ugga magugga!" said Soda. "He might landed on someone and killed them!"

  "Maybe that’s where my magenta cheek came from!" added Chunks

  They found the meal adequate. Pucas only barfed up half of it. The rest of the evening was pleasant, although the trio realized in horror that just like the Viralvanians, the Buboes had never heard of motion picture feature films. Toomar had an extensive library but trying to read magenta type on the magenta paper gave Soda a headache. They were shown to a prettily furnished room- all in magenta, of course. Soda and Pucas slept soundly in the soft beds provided for them. Chunks, who needed no sleep, stayed up all night thinking of dirty limericks.

  The next morning after breakfast they were led back to Sist’s shack.

  "Come in, please," said Sist, opening the door for them, and when they had entered she indicated a rough magenta wood bench for Soda and Pucas to sit upon. Chunks sat on the floor. Sist went back to her throne, which was an upside down bucket. The small room was full of a dozen Buboes in particularly gaudy looking bathrobes. When our friends were seated Sist turned to them and said:

  "I have searched through the great book of laws and found nothing about foreign people entering our land. There is a law that if any of the Viralvanians break through the flatulence mist bank they shall be driven back with pointed petrified poo sticks; but you are not Viralvanians, so this law does not apply to you. Therefore, in order to decide your fate, I have summoned a council of twelve of my people, who will vote as to whether you shall be permitted to remain here or not. They will examine you carefully and discover if you are worthy to become inhabitants of Swollenlump."

  "What we'd like," said Soda, "is to stay here, cozy and peaceful, till we can find a way to get home to Bonertania again. Your country is much nicer than Viralvania.”

  “And we like you pretty well, from what we've seen of you,” added Chunks.

  “So,” Soda continued, “if you'll let us stay, we won't be any more trouble to you than we can help."

  Stolen story; please report.

  All the Buboes all gazed upon the interlopers curiously, and one of them said:

  "How strange their skin color is! And their turquoise clothes! They are not like our people and would not harmonize with the universal color here.” Another added:

  “Anyone gazing upon that big one will get an instant headache!”

  "That's true," said another; "the three strangers are all inharmonious. If allowed to remain here they would ruin the color scheme of the country."

  "In spite of that," said Toomar, "they are harmless creatures and have done us no wrong."

  "Yes, they have," replied a nervous sweaty Buboe; "they wronged us by coming here. I see there are but two things for us to do: either permit them to remain here as guests or take them to an edge of the island and throw them over the bushes into the sky."

  Soda and Pucas had now become worried and anxious, for they knew if they were tossed over the edge of the island they would probably be killed. The skyle was either hovering over land, which would splatter them; the toxic wasteland, which would obliterate them; or the ocean, which would drown them. Chunks frowned and set her jaws tight together. The golem had made up her mind to make a good fight for her tweenage friends, if she had to.

  The twelve counselors then voted, and when the vote was counted Sist announced that six had voted to allow the strangers to remain and six to toss them over the shrubberies.

  "We seem evenly divided on this matter," remarked the empress, with a puzzled look at her council.

  Soda thought the empress was their friend, so she said:

  "Of course you'll have the deciding vote, then, you being the empress."

  "Oh, no," replied Sist. "Since I have asked these good people to advise me it would be impolite to side against some of them and with the others. That would imply that the judgment of some of my counselors is wrong, and the judgment of others right. I must ask some one else to cast the deciding vote. I shall call upon Excrescence. She is wise and honest and will decide the matter justly." Excrescence was the Royal Thaumaturge.

  The Buboes seemed to approve this choice, so Sist rose and took a small magenta paper parcel from a drawer. In it was a magenta powder which she scattered upon the seat of a big magenta armchair. Then she lighted this powder with a magenta flame, which at first flashed vivid magenta and then filled all the space around the chair with a thick magenta cloud of smoke. Presently the smoke cleared away, when they all saw seated within the chair a very unusual looking Buboe. Whereas all the Buboes looked so plump that they could burst at any moment, Excrescence looked sort of like a deflated balloon, or a wrung-out dishrag. Large flaps of skin hung down off her face. Her hair had all but fallen out, revealing that Buboes have fleshy nodules under their top knots. Despite her ragged and sad look she still had a very pleasant and approachable air about her.

  All the Buboes present bowed very respectfully to Excrescence, who returned the salutation with a dignified nod. Then Sist began to explain the presence of the three strangers and the difficulty of deciding what to do with them. Excrescence was particularly interested in the part about the enchanted flying toilet plunger.

  "I have summoned you here that you may cast the deciding vote," added the empress. "What shall we do, Excrescence: allow them to remain here as guests, or toss them over the shrubberies into the sky?"

  Excrescence attentively examined the faces of the three Bonertanians. She started humming tunelessly to herself. She leaned over, lifting one cheek and letting out a strange, strangled sounding fart. Eventually she cleared her throat and said:

  “I favor taking the strangers to the edge of the island and casting them into the sky.”

  For a moment there was perfect silence in the room. All present realized that this was a decree of death to the strangers.

  Soda was gobsmacked at the decision and for a moment she thought her heart had stopped beating, for a cold wave of fear swept over her. Pucas puked, but only enough to fill his mouth and he swallowed it back down.

  "The case is decided," announced Sist, in a clear, cold voice. "The three strangers shall be taken at once to the edge of the island and thrown over the shrubberies into the sky."

  Some of the Buboes looked pleased and some troubled at this, but they all prepared to escort the prisoners to the nearest edge of the island. They picked up their sharp poo sticks and, surrounding the doomed captives, commanded them to march to meet their fate.