Soda the Fortunate, Chunks the Chunks Golem, and Pucas the Mauve Wanderer felt the flatulenz mist melt away and found themselves in the magenta-colored land; but they had no time to consider this change because they were still shooting through the air. Finally they landed on a nice soft spankberry bush. Pucas threw up a little onto the front of his turquoise jumpsuit. Once they could collect their senses and sit up they stared about them in bewilderment, for the transition from the sickly, stinky, damp flatulence mist to this brilliant scene was so abrupt as to daze them at first.

  It was a magenta country, indeed. It was just after sunrise, which proved the adventurers had been a long time in passing through the flatulence mist bank. But all of them were wonderfully relieved to reach this beautiful country. The grass was a soft magenta, the nut-bearing fleshtrees were magenta. Many shades of the color were there, of course, but no other color was visible.

  Soda and Pucas and Chunks were all soaked to the skin and chilled through and smelled like a thousand different kinds of farts, but as they sat upon the magenta grass they felt the rays of the sun sending them warmth and rapidly drying their clothes; so, being tired out, they laid themselves comfortably down and first Pucas and then Soda fell cozily asleep. Chunks tried to see how long she could stand on her head.

  About two hours later four of the natives of Swollenlump approached from out of the woods. Soda sat up in alarm and rubbed her eyes; Pucas was on his feet in an instant.

  Two were men and two were women, and their appearance was in sharp contrast to that of the Viralvanians. For the Buboes were round and fat and lumpy and they were squat, the highest of the men being no taller than Soda. Their plump heads looked like they could burst at any moment. They had no necks, short arms and legs, and largish feet. All four were dressed in very ritzy magenta dusted diamond-encrusted bathrobes that hung open, revealing their naked bodies, which looked like Nate Goiterhead’s head. Their magenta hair was done up in top knots and they carried sharp-pointed sticks, made of petrified poo, for weapons.

  They halted a little way from our adventurers and one of the women muttered in a horrified voice: "Viralvanians!"

  "Really," said the tween, standing up and bowing respectfully to the Buboes, "we are not Viralvanians, we have just escaped from Viralvania. They made us wear thiese turquoise jumpsuits. If you will look closely you will see that our skin is not turquoise."

  "There is some truth in what she says," remarked one of the men, thoughtfully. "Their skins are not turquoise, although this one has a turquoise patch on her cheek.”

  “But I have a magenta patch on the other cheek!” replied Chunks.

  “The skin of the gigantic beast with them is an unpleasant hodgepodge,” said one of the women.

  Chunks looked cross for a minute, for she did not like to be called a "gigantic beast," although she realized she was much larger than the magenta people.

  "What country did you come from?" asked the woman who had first spoken.

  "From Bonertania," replied Pucas.

  "Bonertania!" they repeated. "That is a country we have never heard of. Where is it located?"

  "Why, down below, somewhere, in the center of Pus continent," said Soda, who did not know in which direction home lay.

  "We have three countries in Meningioma Island," returned the woman. "They are Viralvania, the flatulenz mist country and Swollenlump; but of course this end of the island is the most important."

  "How came you in Viralvania, from whence you say you escaped?" asked the man.

  "We flew there by means of a thaumaturgic toilet plunger," explained Soda.

  ”The president of Viralvania stole it,” added Pucas.

  "Stole it! How dreadful," they all cried in a chorus.

  "And they made us slaves," said Soda.

  "And wanted to splice us," added Chunks, indignantly.

  "So we ran away and passed through the mist bank and came here," said Soda.

  “That’s why we’re so smelly,” added Chunks.

  “And so moist,” added Pucas.

  The Buboes turned away and conversed together in low tones. Then one of the women came forward and addressed the strangers.

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  "Your story is the strangest we have ever heard," said she; "and your presence here is still more strange and astonishing. So we have decided to take you to Empress Sist and let her decide what shall be your fate. Until we prove your truth and honor we must regard you as enemies of our race. If you had a thaumaturgic toilet plunger you may be thaumaturges or hoo-hoos, come here to deceive us and perhaps betray us to our natural enemies, the Viralvanians."

  "Must we fight you?" asked the woman, "or will you come with us peaceably?"

  "We'll go peaceable," answered Chunks. "You’re making a big mistake, though, we’re as harmless as baby slugs.”

  The two men waddled on either side of them, holding the pointed sticks ready to jab them if they attempted to escape, and the two women followed in the rear, also armed with sharp sticks. They headed into the woods, which quickly thinned out as the procession moved along the stone path. Soon they were in the city of Swollenlump. Our friends themselves in a most delightful and picturesque neighborhood. There were several square buildings built of magenta stone but the majority of the homes were made of magenta fleshwood, with magenta paper windows. In all the place there was but one street- a circular one that wound like a corkscrew toward the center of the city. The houses that lined both sides of it had gardens filled with magenta flowers and magenta grass lawns, which were shaded by magenta meat trees and shrubbery. There were an abundance of chubby magenta lawn gnomes and plastic magenta stinkingos.

  As the empress lived in the very center of the city the captives were obliged to parade the entire length of this street, and that gave all the magenta citizens a chance to have a good look at the strangers. The Buboes of Swollenlump were every one short and fat and dressed in fancy bathrobes studded with magenta dusted diamonds, and their faces indicated that they were contented and happy. They were much surprised at Chunks' great size and Chunks frightened more than one rotund magenta boy and rotund magenta girl and sent them scampering into the houses. As for the grown people, many of them got out their sharp-pointed poo sticks to use as weapons in case the strangers attacked them or broke away from their guards. A few, more bold than the others, followed on at the tail of the procession, and so presently they all reached an open, circular place in the exact center of the magenta city.

  The open space which they entered was paved with magenta marble and around it were two rows of large magenta statues, all life-size and beautifully sculptured. All were set upon nicely carved magenta pedestals. They were, of course, statues of Buboes and all had bands of magenta metal around their foreheads, in the center of each band being a glistening magenta dusted diamond.

  About the middle of the open space inside the statues, which appeared to be the public meeting place of the Buboes, was a small, low house built of a coarse magenta wood. It had no ornamentation or garden, being exceedingly plain in appearance.

  "Here," said one of their guides, as the procession halted before the little stone building, "is the palace of Sist, who is our empress."

  So they followed her through door (Chunks had to duck), and in a room beyond, very filthy and sparsely furnished, sat a young plump Buboe girl squatting on the ground. She was lighting magenta incense with a magenta match. Her complexion was a soft, light magenta. Instead of a fancy diamond bathrobe like all the others they had seen worn in this land, Sist was dressed in a severely plain robe of itchy-looking cloth. Across her brow, however, was a band of magenta gold, in the center of which was set a luminous magenta dusted diamond. It was her badge of office, and seemed very incongruous when compared with her cruddy robe and simple surroundings.

  As they entered, the girl sighed and put out her match. Her expression was patient and resigned as she stood up and faced her audience. Chunks had to crouch down so her head didn’t go through the ceiling.

  "What is it, Rikugun-Taisho Toomar?" she asked the young woman.

  "Here are three strange people, Miss Sist," was the reply, "who say they have entered our country through the flatulence mist bank. They tell a queer story of an escape from the Viralvanians, so I decided to bring them to you, that you may determine their fate."

  The empress gazed upon our friends with evident interest. She smiled- a little sadly- at Soda, seemed to approve Pucas’ bespectacled, featureless face and was quite surprised because Chunks was so much bigger than her own people. She asked the trio how they had arrived in Swollenlump.

  Between them they told the story of how the thaumaturgic toilet plunger had taken them to Meningioma Island, which they did not know, when they started, was anywhere in existence. Then Soda related their adventures among the Viralvanians and how the president had stolen the toilet plunger and prevented them from going home again.

  "But what can you do here?" asked Sist. "You are not like my people, the Buboes, and there is no place for you in our country."

  "That's true enough," said Soda; "but we had to go somewhere, and this was the likeliest place we could think of.”

  “Your Meningioma Island isn’t very big,” said Chunks, “so when we couldn't stay in Viralvania, where everybody hated us, or in the flatulence mist bank, which isn’t healthy, we were forced to enter Swollenlump.

  “Where we expected to find nice people,” Soda added.

  Pucas urped and threw up in the back of his throat, then swallowed it. There was a sickly burning taste in his mouth now.

  "We are nice," said Sist; "but it is our country- not yours- and we have no place here for strangers. In all our history you are the first people from outside our borders who have ever stepped a foot in our land. We do not hate you, as you say the Viralvanians do, nor are we savage or cruel; but we do not want you here and I am really puzzled what to do with you."

  "Isn't there a law to cover this case?" asked Toomar.

  "I do not remember any such law," replied the empress; "but I will search in the great book and see if I can find anything that refers to strange people entering our land."

  "If not," said the rikugun-taisho grimly, "you must make a law. It is your duty."

  "I know," answered Sist; "but I hope such a responsibility will not fall upon my shoulders. These poor strangers are in a very uncomfortable position and I wish I could help them to get back to their own country. I'll look in the great book. Meantime you three will go home with Toomar, who will feed you and give you entertainment. Tomorrow morning come to me again and then I will decree your fate."