Twenty-seven, the commander of the army with a scorched head and a burnt brow

  Seventeen, The commander of the burnt head and scalded brow

  "Bam, you idiot!"

  In the chaotic camp of the Giant Bear Corps, Colonel Phili? Taylor's angry roar was heard again. As the army's departure date for the front line approached, Colonel Taylor's liver fire became more and more prosperous, and it was basically possible to hear him shouting in the military camp every day.

  Now, the one who is currently suffering from the wrath of the Legion Commander is Bam, a dwarf who has just been transferred from being a cavalry captain to being the logistics director. This guy lost almost all his subordinates in the battle against Sofia's troops, but he himself miraculously didn't even lose a single hair. Due to his seniority (he was already a squad leader in the new Mazovian militia) and someone speaking up for him and sending gifts (Bam's father's large sum of bribery), Phil sent this glorious old veteran to the logistics position. This appointment clearly lacked consideration for Bam's actual abilities, and has been bringing endless trouble to the Legion Commander since he took office.

  Facing his superior's scolding, Bam scratched his chubby fingers with a sheepish grin, looking utterly shameless. Now he was flushed and had clearly gained a significant amount of weight since his cavalry days, the fat on his head threatening to burst through his thick skin, obviously living a very comfortable life.

  "Sir, I don't understand why you're angry, is there something urgent that requires my service?"

  "Bam, making you the logistics director is the biggest mistake of my life!" Fili was furious, as if every single hair on his head was standing up. He pointed to the few cardboard boxes on his left and then to the huge pile of ceramic jars on his right, "Tell me, what's in these? Ah, and what's in those?"

  "There are bagged coffee beans in the cardboard box and refined lard in the can. Sir, aren't you satisfied with the brand of lard?"

  "Do you think which of these two things is used more often? Lard or coffee?"

  “……”

  "Oh my god, what's wrong with your brain?! Is it only filled with beer or something?! Phil rubbed his temples in pain, "Even a lazy bum who never cooks should know that we don't drink a big cup of hot lard every morning! You idiot!"

  "Sir, eating more lard is very beneficial for the body, it can lubricate the intestines and stomach, treat constipation, and prevent colds and coughs. My family's traditional recipe book says that in winter, we should often drink hot soup made with lard and pepper, and if you add some scallions to the soup, it can even cure acne on your face... my mom used this method to cure my dad..."

  "Shut up! You idiot! I'm not interested in your family's secret recipe." Phil roughly interrupted Bam, pressing his head against the lard can. "I don't care how much kickback you got from the pork vendor, but by this evening, return all the extra lard and buy me the missing coffee! And...". He grabbed Bam's collar, angrily dragging the incompetent logistics director to another pile of goods.

  "What's with these cans?" Fili pulled out an old-fashioned can with a ceramic exterior, sealed with oil paper and wax from a large wooden crate. He forced it onto Bamm's face, pushing his nose down a bit, "What kind of junk did you bring back for me?! Let me take a closer look, all these beef cans are from DR1956! This year is DR1991, they're over 20 years past expiration! Tell me, how much did the food store owner or the elf spy pay you to poison everyone and make them lose their combat effectiveness? You idiot!"

  "Officer, these canned goods may have been stored for a bit too long, but the quality is fine. It's still the flavor of braised beef in vinegar." Bam took the can nonchalantly, scooped out a piece of juicy beef from inside and put it into his mouth to chew. "The taste isn't bad, quite chewy, and also has an appetizing effect. Officer, would you like to have some?"

  "Has your sense of taste degenerated to the same level as that of a local rascal and a soft mud monster? Let me take a look at the label on the can, it says 'Spicy Beef'! It's been stored for so many years, it's already gone bad! You idiot!" Phil ripped off the label from the can and stuck it directly onto Bam's eyes, "Since you like this batch of canned goods so much, from now on they will be your sole source of food! Guards! Send all these 'Braised Beef in Vinegar' to the logistics director's quarters and have someone supervise him to eat them all up one by one! The cost of the cans will be deducted from his military pay! Got it?"

  "Yes!" Several bodyguards hired from the security company responded in unison, starting to move the boxes. Bam's forehead suddenly broke out in a cold sweat.

  "Officer, officer, spare me, this time I was wrong, I'll return the canned goods right away, please forgive me this time." Bam, who had been acting arrogant until now, finally softened up when he realized he might die from food poisoning.

  "That's more like it, but it wasn't that cheap. After returning the canned goods, you'll be confined for five days and docked three months' worth of military pay! And by the way, there's still an unsettled account with you here!" Phil grabbed Bam's ear again and dragged him out of the army warehouse.

  "What's going on here, Bam! Why have you brought so many ghouls?! Are you planning a picnic?! I demand an explanation right now!" Phil yelled in Bam's ear, pointing at the open space in the center of the military camp, his voice almost shattering the poor logistics director's eardrums.

  Poor Bam covered his ears, dazed for a while before barely coming to. "Officer," he leaned weakly against the outer wall of the warehouse, his head spinning and unable to straighten up, "Didn't you say that the cooking class was understaffed? These are all new cooks I've found."

  "Cooks? These man-eating monsters!" Fili looked at Bofur in disbelief, then turned back to gaze at the ugly creatures in the center of the camp. Each one had a huge body, equivalent to two normal people's height, with shit-yellow skin, an ugly horn, a fat belly, sagging buttocks, short limbs, and wore only a tattered loincloth, just missing a wolf-toothed club as thick as a road roller's front wheel to go open a man-eating barbecue party.

  These filthy cannibals are now huddled together, gazing at the female nurses in the medical team with eyes as if they had seen a delicious meal, and drooling non-stop. They were discussing which woman would be more delicious when roasted, scaring the naive girls to tears and screams.

  Although the Sm ladies of Iris Trea Church and Aemita Church all took out whips and long swords, glaring at them angrily, it only made the cannibals' discussion of female flesh more in-depth. Phil could even clearly hear them talking about "This woman is so fierce, her meat must be very hard", "If the meat is too hard, it's better to fry it with oil", "Or use vinegar to soak it for a while" and other terrifying topics, which in a certain sense are indeed very professional.

  Moreover, they use a fairly fluent common language, it seems that the cannibals of the New Continent attach great importance to education, and their cultural level is much higher than that of their tribes on the Old Continent who do not even know foreign languages.

  But no matter what kind of academic qualifications these cannibal demons have, Ferri has no intention of keeping them in his own team.

  "Bam, you idiot! Has your head been kicked by a donkey? How could you let the man-eater join our troops as a cook?! Do you want them to eat my soldiers?"

  "Sir, you said to hire the cheapest ones," Bam said with a look of grievance. "These guys don't want wages, as long as they can get food, it's fine. And I've asked around from the people pulling boats on the canal, these guys really did help them cook."

  Canal diggers? It seems that the ones pulling the ropes are all Dog-Heads and Earth Elementals. These are some races that don't even pick what they eat, able to swallow stones, maggots, and rotten food together. Felipe doesn't expect his subordinates to have such high awareness, if he really wants them to eat that monster-specific ration with a "death-defying" spirit. I estimate they would think it's a pretty good choice to shoot their superior in the back before being poisoned by the food.

  "I don't care what you're thinking, but having a man-eating monster as a chef is absolutely out of the question. Get them all back now!" Phil spat, waving his hand impatiently. "Frugality has its limits, if you like monsters cooking your meals, then go hire one yourself! I don't want to be scooping up my subordinate's bones from the soup someday!"

  "Hahahaha! Beautiful bald lady, don't refuse so quickly. We are absolutely the best chefs in our tribe, and our skills are top-notch." The leader of the goblins, hearing that the deal was about to fall through, became somewhat anxious. He hastily wiped the saliva from his chin and rushed over to Phil's side, desperately promoting himself. "In order to be worthy of this glorious job, I even secretly brought along our tribe's treasured ancestral cookbook! Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself. It's absolutely the only one-of-a-kind cooking secret in the world!"

  He dug into his pants and pulled out a greasy sheepskin paper, presenting it to Fei with a treasured air.

  "Stop calling me Miss, Miss randomly, I'm a guy...... Never mind, Bam, bring over the menu."

  Ferli's face twisted in disgust as he pinched his nose shut with one hand and gestured to the director of the back office. Bam, grimacing, took the foul-smelling parchment from the ogre's hand and unfolded it in front of his superior. Ferli had only taken one glance before his eyes went dark and he almost fainted on the spot.

  On that sheepskin paper was written in a ghostly script:

  "Cannibal's Cookbook"

  Find one person or eight people

  Hit someone with all one's might

  Continue beating people

  Throw people into fire

  Cannibalism

  ……

  "Guards, guards! Give each of the 'cooks' 10 copper coins as a dispersal fee and let them disappear within five minutes. Did you hear that? Go quickly!"

  Fury's urgent attack on the heart, Phil immediately waved his hand, ignoring the cannibal demons' bitter pleas, ordering the soldiers to use bayonets and long spears to drive out the "chefs" from the camp. The Sm ladies swung their whips with a loud crackling sound, quickly beating the monsters who had just thought of roasting them into a state of disarray. Dozens of cannibal demons didn't even have time to collect their dispersal fees before fleeing towards the gate, apparently no longer as ferocious as their bloodthirsty ancestors - highly cultured creatures are usually weaker, and even the fierce-looking cannibal demons are no exception.

  When the last of the man-eaters disappeared from the camp gate, Fili finally stopped shouting and turned around, looking at Bam with extremely gentle eyes, making this seriously derelict logistics director's heart feel hairy.

  "Uh... sir, don't you think I should go return the canned goods and lard?" Bam asked cautiously.

  "No need, Bam. I'll have someone else do these tasks." Phil smiled and patted Bam's shoulder, speaking in a very gentle tone that sent shivers down the logistics director's spine. "It seems that having you do logistics work was indeed a mistake, and now it's time to correct that mistake."

  He casually picked up an axe from a nearby woodpile and handed it to Bam, "Now, I order you to rejoin the Wild Battle Unit, take this axe and report to Mr. Vini's melee combat unit! He'll retrain you into a brave warrior with his bear paw. And there are many guys who pretend to be sick to escape military service, I think you'll definitely have something in common with them!"

  As soon as he finished speaking, Fili waved his hand lightly, and two strong soldiers rushed up, lifted the stunned Bam and dragged him out.

  "No! Officer, please give me another chance! Please...!"

  Bam was dragged a good distance before he came to, and then he turned around and cried and made a fuss at Feli. Feli gestured impatiently, and one of the soldiers brought down his rifle butt with a thud on the quartermaster's head, and everything was quiet again.

  "Have a good trip, Bam." Fili whistled and turned around to scratch his head in front of a large pile of problematic military supplies.

  "Lard and canned goods, where should I return them? Damn it, I should have asked Bam first." He muttered to himself, then made an irresponsible decision on the spot, "Forget it, let's move them to the unlucky bear squad of Great Druid as a supplement. Anyway, the digestive function of the dog bears should be similar to that of the earth spirit."

  Poor unlucky bear team...