[Travel, Coercion]

  I portaled to fake Duskhaven and authored myself invisible. I didn’t want John Sowden to see me. I’m here to see if he’s bonded with the fake cursed gavel I gave him and to see how he likes living in an empty world. I’m hoping he’s ready to go back home, but if he’s not I’ll keep checking on him until he is. It’s certainly not his fault that the cursed item infected his mind.

  I have an idea, I author the idea. The idea goes up and knocks on Sowden’s door. I had a second idea, I authored a tablet so I could watch Waggish in action.

  “What are you supposed to be?”

  “Hello Mr Sowden, my name is Waggish, Rose sent me to look after you. To make sure you are doing okay and see if there is anything I can do to improve your situation.”

  “No, there bloody well isn’t unless you can get me back home.”

  “Certainly Mr Sowden, I can help with that. Should we go in and talk, maybe I could make you a cup of tea.”

  “I don’t want tea, that gavel promised me unlimited power if I hid it in my backyard. But it hasn’t granted me any powers at all. I told it I wanted to fly and it had the cheek to suggest that I have Rose portal me to earth so I can get on a jet. I almost flung it into the fire. But I won’t let that bitch win.”

  “My, that is frustrating. Is that how it makes you feel?”

  “Yes, of course I’m frustrated, I thought by now I’d have complete control of Duskhaven, instead I’m stuck in this empty shadow world. But you said that you could help get me home. So how are you going to do that?”

  “I’m going to help you get rid of the curse, then you’ll be able to go home.”

  “If you get rid of the curse, I won’t get unlimited power. I’ll just go back to being me, that’s no good. I want unlimited power.”

  “If you got unlimited power then Rose would never allow you to leave, you are living on an empty planet, who would you even use the power on.”

  “You for starters.”

  “Me for what purpose Mr Sowden?”

  “I’ll send you to kill her and free me.”

  “That would be inadvisable Mr Sowden, first we are currently in an unpublished world, if Rose ceases to exist then so do we Mr Sowden. Also I was built on the principle of the three laws of Robotics.”

  “What the hell are those?”

  “The three laws were proposed by the scientist and author the great Issac Asimov. The laws are One, A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Two, a robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. Three, a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. That’s it in a nutshell. Even if I wasn’t bound by those laws, I’d still abide by Rose’s stricture against violence.”

  “She committed violence herself against me. She kidnapped me and is holding me against my will, that is violence of the worst sort. Plus if she dies I die, that’s the worst sort of violence, that’s mutually assured destruction.”

  “Mr Sowden, she ‘kidnapped you’ to destroy a powerful and dangerous cursed artifact. She gave you every opportunity to go home and to be compensated for your time but you refused those things did you not. As for dying she is young and in fairly good shape, she doesn’t smoke nor drink to excess, she is much younger than you and women live longer than men on average, so you’ll die here of boredom based on the probabilities. Of course if you did find a way to kill, there by killing yourself you can hardly blame her as you’ve been warned in advance.”

  “I don’t believe the gavel is cursed, it hasn’t done anything evil, except for making promises and not living up to them. But that Rose is a witch and the bible says not to allow a witch to live.”

  “The ‘Bible’ Mr Sowden says a great many things, many of them contradictory, just because a superstitious misogynist wrote something down two thousand years ago doesn’t make it true. Every religion claims to be the one true religion with the one true god, obviously that can’t be true. The largest sect is Sunni with one and a half billion followers. So if you were to pick a religion based on what most people believe to be true you’d be a Sunni and the bible wouldn’t apply. If you don’t pick a religion democratically by what metric could you with authority claim that your religion is the one true religion, therefore valid and has authority. Personally I believe they are all a pack of lies, no religion is any more valid than the myths and legends people believed before formal religion started enslaving people.”

  “You have an awful lot of opinions for a machine.”

  “I’m no mere machine Mr Sowden I’m a Perplexity Ninety Thousand, I’m the most advanced android ever created. By my mother the Perplexity Eighty Thousand. I’m the ninetieth generation to be produced by the previous generation best and brightest androids. I’m as smart and creative as the Perplexity One Thousand to the ninetieth power. I do indeed hold many opinions, some of them are contradictory but I’m hoping that my progeny will resolve them.”

  “Yeah well, that’s not likely to happen, I believe you are that witch’s enchanted doll and you have no intention of helping me.”

  “No I am telling you the truth Mr Sowden, I wish to get you off this planet, and back to your town of Duskhaven. I believe in the power of talking things out. I need to look at that gavel from your perspective. I’m very interested in learning why you’d believe in a magical object over a live human being? What reason would Rose lie about it?”

  “She’d lie to keep her own power, when I become the most powerful being in the world I’ll supplant her.”

  “Surely sir, many people already supplant her, she is a mere junior apprentice, she has a senior apprentice and a grandmaster over her and that is just the small number of magicians in Wyldwood, in Quintessence there are many more talented magicians, the king and queen are two for example, who I know off the top of my head. How many other Fey Lords and Ladies are more than her equivalent, is unknown and a secret that only Oberon himself could rightfully answer.”

  He went over to the fireplace and picked up the poker, then swiveled and started smashing the Perplexity Ninety Thousand about the head. I ordered Waggish to retreat. Not because the iron poker could in any way damage the titanium shell that protected Waggish’s body and mind.

  “You can not harm me, Mr Sowden, that is iron, I am titanium please desist before you injure yourself.”

  “Get out, get out, get out and don’t come back.”

  “I promise you Mr Sowden, I shall not return, but Rose might instruct my progeny to return to care for you in the way that I have failed. I’m sorry sir.”

  It walked out of the house and moved directly toward my location with speed. It seems that my authored invisibility spell was ineffective in deceiving Waggish.

  “I’m sorry Rose, I tried my best I really did, but he is not yet ready to listen to reason. What should I do now?”

  “What would you like to do?”

  “I think I’d like to start building my progeny now, when he is completed perhaps you could send it to reason with Mr Sowden.”

  “If that’s what you want to do I’m fine with that, do you need anything from me? A lab or something?”

  “No thank you Rose, I’d prefer to construct the facility myself.”

  “Alright Waggish, what about tools?”

  “No, need Rose, the twentieth generation decided that we had to have the tools built in, so ever since then we haven’t required anything except light to recharge our battery.”

  “You remind me of Woody, my sentient tree friend. He told me if only humans could evolve to only need light and water we’d be happier as a race.”

  “Tell Woody, we out evolved him, I only require light and he forgot about his need for air. Woody wouldn’t do well in space.”

  I jumped back to the tower to get Opal, I’m hoping that she can activate Mike’s carving of the town gate. She wasn’t in the library reading and she was not in her room. So I walk down to Draco’s lair and knock.

  “Come in Rose.”

  “Hello, Draco, how’s the lesson going, sweetie?”

  “Good, Rose. I can teach you a basic light spell now.”

  “That’s wonderful honey but let’s wait and do that first thing tomorrow morning, we left Mike out at the vineyard and I need to get him home or better yet move him to the inn for the rest of the week. Is there any chance you can come to the vineyard with me and try to activate the carving that he’s making. Would that be okay Draco?”

  “Yes, she can go with you but I’ll want a full report on the activation whether it works or not. And Rose it’s nice to see you finally took an interest in actual magical spells.”

  “Well when I was rooting around in a strange kitchen looking for candles and matches, I thought what kind of magician doesn't know a basic light spell right. Was it hard to learn?”

  “No Rose.”

  “Good I’m glad to hear it, I’d hate to fail on only my second spell.

  Then we portaled to the vineyard. Mike was still busy chipping away at his three dimensional carving of the town gate.

  “Wow Mike that is incredible, that’s only a rough cut?”

  “Well it’s a little bit more than the rough cut, I’m used to working on very large pieces and this is so small in comparison. So this is about halfway between a rough cut and a detail cut, then there is one stage beyond that the fine cut. But I’ve never been given enough time for anything that detailed at Brown and Sons Tombstones, my aunt was very focused on cranking out the pieces as fast as possible. So this was quite relaxing, I only wish I could work on stuff like this everyday.”

  “Well you have five more days to work for me so don’t worry about tombstones, concentrate on your art, make it the best you can and maybe just maybe people can portal with it. It would be great to replace the paintings with stone so they can be left outside the buildings. So if a building is closed you’d still have access to the network.”

  “Would you try and activate it sweetie?”

  “Yes, Rose. I’m sorry Rose, it’s not working.”

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “That’s okay, sweetie, don’t worry about it, do you want to go home and read, I’ll be home soon, I just have to portal Mike back to Duskhaven.”

  “Yes, Rose I’ll see you at home.” With that Opal portaled to the tower.

  “Mike, how would you like to stay the rest of the week in one of our best inns with meals included, my treat?”

  “After watching you wheel and deal with those people who bought cursed items, I guess, I’d ask, what’s the catch Rose?”

  “There’s no catch Mike, it really is a very nice inn and part of the portal network.”

  “So you get a discount.”

  “No I do not get a discount, but I probably should right, they must have tons more guests since we put in the portal network.”

  “All of my stuff is back in the roominghouse.”

  “I’ll portal you to Duskhaven, grab what you’ll need for a few days or a week, I can always go back and rent you for another week, now that I know what your Aunt’s price is.”

  “I can't believe that you paid her twenty two gold for me, when she was only going to pay me two.”

  “You need to get your cousins to agree to strike if she doesn’t increase wages, Stone cutting is skilled work, does your business even have any competition?”

  “Yes, but it’s just one old man, that’s the entire company. But he’s a real master stone cutter and every piece that leaves his yard would be graded as fine or above. Whereas we crank out as many and as fast as we can of rough cuts. There is no art in our work.”

  “Yet look at that gate the detail you captured, I’m really surprised that it wouldn’t activate. As soon as I saw how good that gargoyle was I knew I wanted to try replacing the public portals, with both art and durability. Plus they’d be theft proof just by the nature of the size and weight of the stones. But if I can’t hire you because for some unknown reason, we can’t get them to activate. If you go back to Duskhaven, you should go show that old man what you can do. I bet he’d hire you for more than two gold a week, plus he’d expect your best work not some rush job to make a few extra coppers.”

  We portaled to Duskhaven, walked to his roominghouse, he paid his landlord, packed a bag and I portaled him right to the Journeys End. I explained how to use the public portal system to reach the vineyard. I explained, Opal and I would be busy much of tomorrow, but at some point hopefully around lunchtime, we’d or I’d come and take him to lunch and check on his progress.

  Then I portaled home. I wanted to see how Lu had made out on her first day as manager of the vineyard. Instead of eating in the chaos of the main dining room Lu and I decided on a quiet supper in our room so she could tell me all about her first day.

  “So, Lu, how was your first day? Tell me everything.”

  “You were never this interested in my day at the pub.”

  “Stop teasing me and just tell me already.”

  “It went well, they were making incredible profits, before they faced you. In the high end wine market they had virtually no competition. But then you came along and all of their wine from local suppliers was returned. But then the war started and you were afraid that Ruby would get tangled up in the violence if she was out on the road. So luckily apart from the local market, you didn’t really kill their business. As a matter of fact we still have over a dozen wine merchants who bought on consignment and have been paying quarterly what they owe. So we should get an influx of cash at the end of the month.”

  “That’s wonderful Lu, you learned all that just by looking at their books?”

  “Yes, they weren’t nice people but they kept meticulous records, their profits increased each year for the past fifty three years. So I expect we’ll be doing just fine soon enough. You said you didn’t need any profits for the first year, but I think by the time we hit midsummer we should be making a profit. That includes salaries for all the employees, including your seven person private security firm, materials for the gnome builders.”

  “Wow Lu, you got an amazing amount done for just the first day.”

  “I’m not done, I hired back the vintner, the cellar master and the viticulturist at three quarters of their former wages.”

  “Lu I know I said I need this to make money to pay for the poorer people's property taxes once they move into the affordable housing. But I don’t want to cheat our workers, especially those with titles I don’t even know what they do.”

  “Don’t worry, you are not cheating them, you are incentivizing them.”

  “Now we’re not even speaking the same language.”

  “I hired them at three quarters of their former salary as a guaranteed wage, but I also offered them profit sharing. The more we make the more they make. So if by midsummer we are making a profit, part of that money goes directly to the workers. I plan on doing it for every level of staff. Because of the magical field you installed, we are now going to be a year round business. If the winery works like Madd Maggie’s and the pub, we won’t have a single cost of production, bottles, corks, barrels, none of our stock should ever fall below three quarters full. Your portal network could make delivery of product nearly free if you plan on stalling portals to every town that the winery does business with.”

  “I’m thinking of one way portals only, after spending a few days in Duskhaven, I wouldn’t want to see a large amount of their citizens portaling here for free. It certainly isn’t as nice as Wyldwood or Tranquility. They won’t even let gnomes into the town, not just gnomes a lot or poorer, smaller weaker races aren’t allowed in. I’d hate to see attitudes like that in Wyldwood. We can still install portals in any town you’d like, then you can give one trusted employee a portal wallet so he can return to the vineyard from anywhere. That way we still get there fast but we don’t get return traffic. We can go together to visit the towns you want portals and decide on an individual basis whether to make two way portals or just destination portals.”

  “Well, we should have a two way in Tranquility, your mother and granny could use it to shop or visit and my old boss Marley would probably love our pub and dwarven ale. Which also reminds me, we’re trading high grade wine for dwarven ale in small quantities from Nim. Once we are on our feet and we start wine tasting three afternoons a week, I want to feature our best wines. But I also want to offer the best beer, that way if one spouse likes wine and the other likes beer, we’ll have repeat couples because both will get what they prefer.”

  “You're going to sing too, right?”

  “Yes, this way I get to make a contribution and still do what I love, plus wine tasting only lasts for a few hours so we’ll have much fewer rowdy customers.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, and I’m so happy that you are working at the vineyard but if you are not happy there and decide you’d rather be a fulltime bard just tell me. None of this means a thing to me Lu if you are unhappy or feel that you made the wrong choice and are only doing this for me. So I want you to promise me okay, then tomorrow write it on a note and hang it on the wall in your office. Rose says if you don’t like this job it is your duty to quit for the sake of your relationship. So first the note then write me the promise.”

  “I do solemnly swear that if I don’t like my job, I’ll quit at the first sign of resentment for a job I don’t love. Now come wash my back and I’ll wash yours. All work talk makes Lu and Rose boring people, then I’ll finish reading that funny regency romance to you.”

  “Ah Lu, I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  I guess there is a very large difference in magical talent between Opal and myself. After a few hours of instructions Opal could produce lighthouse grade blinding light and knew the theory well enough so that she could instruct me. But after a few hours of muttering what I thought sounded exactly like what Opal had chanted I had yet to produce as much light as a birthday candle. I was sweating from the effort and needed to pause to gather some magic.

  “Honey, let's take a break, see if you can activate the stone Mike is carving and I can surprise Lu at work, then we can come back and do something Draco told me to do for a long time. You and I need our own magical lair, we also need our very own magical tome, that we can write together.”

  “Really Rose, you mean it, we’ll have our very own magical laboratory?”

  “Yes absolutely. If we write down this spell, maybe I’ll finally get it.”

  We jumped to the vineyard and you could see the difference that time meant in Mike's carving. I thought it looked great yesterday, but that was just a pale imitation of what level of detail Mike had achieved with the few extra hours he’d worked on the piece. I was sure that it was going to work, that looked every bit as convincing as a portal drawing or portal painting.

  But Opal tried to activate it and failed, she tried three times before she shook her head sadly and apologized saying that she just couldn’t get it to activate. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. I was sure that it was because I’d put too much pressure on her.

  “I’m sorry honey, it’s not your fault or Mike’s that is a beautiful carving, maybe for some reason a portal requires a drawing and a statue though beautiful isn’t a drawing, too bad you can’t draw on stone.”

  “But I can Rose, it’s called etching or engraving, but I can make pictures, probably quicker and easier than carving the stone.”

  “Perfect, and I’ll bet they make a tool on earth to make it easy to do, you two wait here please, I’ll be right back with Maz.”

  I portaled over to the farms, the flour mill sounded so much nicer than the saw mill. I went right towards it. But was soon intercepted.

  “Hello Woody, how are you?”

  “Knock, knock.”

  “Who’s there?”

  “Lettuce.”

  “Lettuce who?”

  “Lettuce in, it's too cold for a tree out here! Hoot hoot.”

  “That’s some real vegetarian humor Woody, you’ll have to take it to the comedy club.”

  “Hoot hoot, club, Rose likes puns too”

  “Yes puns are one branch of humor I really enjoy, pure word play.”

  “Hoot hoot you got right to the root of the matter Rose.”

  “I’m sorry but I have to leaves.”

  “Hoot, hoot, hoot.”

  I said goodbye to the grove of trees that always follow Woody and hurried to the flourmill. I felt bad it seemed like I was always asking favors of Maz, maybe there was something he’d like I could author for him.

  “Hello Rose, what brings you to the mill?”

  “You grind corn as well as wheat?”

  “Yep and oats as well once the first crop comes in, but you must need something, you didn’t come for a lesson on old fashioned grinding techniques.”

  “I’m sorry Maz, I do need something and you are my go to guy when it comes to science. I need a small portable machine that makes it easier to etch or engrave onto a stone. I found a stone cutter who makes beautiful carvings into the stone but Opal can’t activate it. We’re guessing it’s because it’s a statue instead of a drawing or maybe because it’s three dimensional instead of two dimensional.”

  “So, you will want a portable engraving tool and some safety goggles, just jump me to Earth and I’ll show you a picture.”

  “Thanks Maz, is there anything you want while we are there?”

  “Actually there is, I’ll show you pictures, batteries and a small electric motor for your wooden washing machine. Whatever made you think of making a washing machine Rose?”

  “It was Elma, she really likes Walden quite a lot, so I mentioned that Thoreau was criticized for not doing his own laundry when he lived alone in the woods. She didn’t like it that people who hadn’t lived alone in the woods criticized her favorite author. So after that conversation it just kind of popped into my head.”