[Recurrence, Conclusion]
I portaled back to the store and handed the null magic bag containing the gavel to Sparky.
“Well that took you long enough.”
“Sparky, he buried it in his backyard, I was lucky enough to notice the freshly dug hole, otherwise I’d still be in Duskhaven searching his stupid house. We spent hours going over that house top to bottom and I do mean bottom, we found a storm cellar but the only thing it contained was preserves. Should I portal him back to Duskhaven.”
“Hmm, Mr Sowden, are you ready to go home?”
“I’ll report you both to the watch, I will have you both hanged for kidnapping.”
“No, unless you remove certain memories, Mr Sowden will remain a problem for us, Rose.”
“Mr Sowden, we did this for your own protection, surely there must be something you desire, cash some rare item?”
“I told you before you kidnapped me that the gavel isn’t for sale, it promised me unlimited power and unless you can grant me that, I’ll either have my gavel back or you will hang.”
“Well neither of those things are happening, unless you agree to my terms you have two options. I can wipe your memory of the gavel or you can have your gavel back and live in a special fictional world, because the gavel is both dangerous and evil. I won't expose any fictional characters to its effects therefore the gavel is telling you the truth. You will be the most powerful man in the world, because you will be completely and utterly alone. Your choice Mr Sowden what will it be?”
“I want my gavel.”
“Fine.”
I jumped Mr Sowden to an empty replica of Duskhaven.
“Where is my gavel?”
“I’m going to get it for you Mr Sowden, I’ll be right back.”
I jumped to another spot on this empty world and authored a glowing red gavel that could talk, telling it to lean toward the dark side but never ever was it to tip into evil. This world was designed to contain evil, I don’t know if the original gavel opened up something in Mr Sowden that was evil or it planted the evil in his mind. It is your job to try and keep him happy at least as happy as a man can be in an empty world. If he despairs and wishes that he’d opted for the memory wipe, contact me right away. If he believes that you are the real cursed gavel. Talk him into tricking me. He can claim to have destroyed you and will sign legal documentation that everything was voluntary on his part and that he voluntarily destroyed the cursed gavel. Then I’ll portal him back to Duskhaven. But that all hinges on his believing that you are the real thing.
I jumped back to the empty Duskhaven and handed him the gavel and block.
“Mr Sowden, I warned the gavel that if it harms you in this fictional world, that this world will cease to exist and the gavel will cease to exist with it. If you change your mind about having your memory wiped, I’ll be happy to accommodate you. Just tell the gavel. My offer for compensation for your time still stands, the only thing I can’t allow is for that cursed gavel to be allowed to hurt other people. Your house has a magical sideboard that will produce any food or drink you wish. I hope you can be happy.”
“Just get out of here you bitch.”
I jumped back to Enigmatic Parchments.
“Well Rose, what happened?”
“I gave him the fake gavel and I gave the gavel a plan for how they can trick me, by him agreeing to sign a sworn statement that he voluntarily destroyed the gavel. So he can’t charge us if he actually still has the gavel.”
“How long do you think he’ll last?”
“It depends on how bad a misanthrope he is, if he really doesn’t like people, he just might happily live out his life there.”
“Misanthrope’s don’t want power over others Rose, they just want to not have to deal with people, dominating people is the ultimate having to deal with people. Power is useless in an empty world. Power is only useful to those who crave it if they can use it to dominate others. If you wish to defend someone or something you may be seeking the same kind of power but the reason you seek it makes all the difference. Someone who wishes to defend, doesn’t want to dominate, they are opposed. You need to defend against those that would dominate.”
“Well in that case if the fake gavel does a good job maybe he’ll be ready to go home by tomorrow.”
Opal and I portaled back to Duskhaven early the next morning. We only have a few more items to check. With any luck none of them will be cursed, we’ll find the people easily and they will all be cooperative. Yeah I really don’t believe that my luck will be that good, but it’s always good to hope for the best, plan for the worst.
We made it past the gate guards without incident, and proceeded to Brown and Sons to meet Mike. When I saw him I tossed him a purse.
“What’s this for, Rose?”
“That’s for the diamond ring, I told you I would compensate you fairly for the ring if it turned out to be cursed. Plus I put your weekly wages in there as well.”
“Did your boss destroy the ring?”
“No, as it turns out, the curse actually weakened the structure of the diamond itself. I easily smashed it with a hammer.”
“Thank you for the gold, I know gold doesn’t mean much to you but if you are as close to the poverty line as I am, or I may even be over the poverty line. It means a lot, that's what I'm saying.”
“Your welcome, now lets wrap this up, we each have important things to be doing, besides chasing all over this town.”
“Who and what are we looking for?”
“HEY, YOU LOT,” yelled the large half orc pawnbroker.
“Ah, how are you doing fine sir, is your manhood still attached?”
“WHY HAVE YOU NOT COME BACK TO THE STORE, TO REPORT.”
“Look, while we are wasting our time reporting, your manhood may well be falling off, due to your sale of the cursed items. We have been working tirelessly on your behalf. Mike show him the list. If you have time to complain, you have time to help. Go get some of the items that are still needed to be examined. Or go back to your shop and we’ll inform you when the danger is over.”
“SWEAR YOU’LL COME TO THE SHOP, IF I COLLECT SOME ITEMS.”
“Sir, I do not lie, but show us on the list what items you’ll collect on your own, so we don’t waste time duplicating effort. We have no desire to see harm befall you.”
“You cheated me, I sold you all that stuff for less than four gold.” Mike said.
“I DIDN’T CHEAT, FAIR MARKUP, my prices are low. I have to pay for the store, rent, taxes, damn tariffs, plus my wife is expensive to keep in the manner that she wishes to be kept in. Everything she desires is imported tariffs are killing me. I’m an honest business man.”
“Fine, I guess that I just glad to be rid of this stuff, just point out which items you’ll collect and we’ll get the rest and meet you at your store.”
The half orc pointed and Mike made a note on the paper. Then the angry pawnbroker tramped off.
“So Mike, who and what are we looking for?
“Jake Ralston.”
“What did he buy?”
“It must have fallen into the suitcase.”
“A suitcase?”
“No, I said it must have fallen into the suitcase, the item I mean.”
“Well what is the item, come on, don’t waste time, I really want to finish this up today before someone gets seriously hurt.”
He almost whispered. “er a pink bra with spikes”
“What did you say Mike, I couldn’t hear you.”
“A spiked pink bra,” said a red faced Mike.
“It just fell into your suitcase Mike, if I was to portal you to Enigmatic Parchments, would EG agree with your assessment that it fell unaided into the suitcase.”
“Fine, I placed it into the suitcase. I thought the gold colored spikes were real gold, so I thought it’d be worth some money. That’s why I placed it in the suitcase and tried to sell it at my first opportunity.”
“Okay, Mike, no need to get defensive, it’s not like you needed a pink spiked bra, you just took it for its resale value. We understand completely, don't we, Opal.”
She just giggled, Mike turned redder, if that was possible. Once we got to the street we asked a few pedestrians for Jake Ralston’s address. None of them knew so we went to the middle of the block, Opal and I on one side, Mike on the other and started knocking on doors. We got to the end of the block before Mike, but neither of us found Jake. So we switched sides of the street and started working our way back towards the center we made it about half the way to center when we found Mr. Ralston.
“Hi sorry to bother you, we're looking for Jake Ralston.”
“What for?”
“Opal, please go tell Mike, we found Mr Ralston. Mr Ralston we’re afraid that the item you purchased at the pawnshop the other day may be cursed. My seer Opal can tell on sight whether the item is cursed or not. If it’s not cursed we’ll pay you a gold for your trouble. If it is cursed we’ll refund you double the purchase price and destroy the item.”
“You're saying my girlfriend's bra is cursed?”
“No sir, only that it might be cursed.”
“What does the curse do?”
“We don’t know sir, each curse seems to be different.”
“How do you know it’s not a good curse like it’ll make them grow or be less saggy.”
“I don’t believe there are any good curses; they all come from a place of evil.”
“Well if it makes them grow, I don’t care if it is evil or good.”
“Maybe we should talk to your girlfriend and see if she is having any issues, it’s quite possible the item isn’t cursed at all.”
“She’s at work, Club Exoticia. But if you want to see the bra you’ll need to pay the cover charge and Frannie will most likely make you pay for a dance.”
Jake gave me the directions to the club. I met Mike and Opal and told them where we needed to go. Mike’s face got redder. When we arrived at the club I could see why Mike was so embarrassed. I told Opal and Mike to wait outside and paid the cover fee. There were four girls on four different stages all in various stages of undress. None were wearing pink bras and I didn’t see any pink bras among the clothes already sprinkled on the ground.
I approached the bartender and told him I was looking for Frannie.
“The girls don’t go by their real names, they go by their stage names, what is her stage name honey and are you looking for work? We got an opening for an evening shift. You’ll make good money if you’re friendly.”
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“Thank you, I'm very flattered, but my girlfriend would kill, if I took a second job. Jake didn’t tell me Frannie’s stage name.”
“You're a friend of Ralston’s why didn’t you say, Frannie goes by Hot Mamma. Just have a seat over there, Mamma’s on a break but I’ll tell her you are waiting for her.”
“Thanks.” I went over and had a seat. No wonder Jake had bought Hot Mama a spiked bra, he wanted to make sure the customers kept their hands off his girlfriend.”
About five minutes after I sat down, a woman in her fifties wearing a hot pink spiked bra and bikini bottoms sat down.
“Jake sent you?”
“Yes Frannie, Jake bought that bra for you and there is a good chance that it’s cursed, I’d like to buy it from you and destroy it.”
“No way, honey. Since I started wearing this bra my tips have gone up, I made almost a gold yesterday in tips alone. I ain’t selling.”
“I’ll give you a hundred gold for it, you can go to the dressmaker and have another made for less than one gold, you make a ninety nine gold profit or better yet, I’ll give you a hundred gold and a duplicate of the bra that isn’t cursed.”
“Okay, honey you got a deal, one hundred gold and the same uncursed bra.”
“Wait right here, I’ll be right back.”
I jumped to Juliet’s World and authored one hundred gold and a hot pink bra with spikes and just as I was about to portal back to Club Exoticia.
“So, that’s what Lu is into, I should have guessed those stoic types are always wild in bed.”
“Juliet it’s not what it looks like.”
“It looks like the great Bibliomancer is authoring some kinky underwear for her girlfriend. That’s what it looks like to me.”
“No, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m trying to buy a cursed item, hence the gold and the bra, that’s what the seller wants.”
“Sure Rose, but I’ll bet the real reason is sexy roleplay, you throw gold at her feet as she takes off an item, don’t be embarrassed, me and Ivy play that same game all the time. It’ll put our kids through college one day.”
“Sorry Juliet, I really have to go, the seller is waiting.”
“Tell Lu, I love her bold color choice but the BDSM spikes are a little too much.”
I jumped back to a fidgety looking Frannie. I handed her the bra and the gold, she whipped off her bra and handed it to me. I thanked her and we parted. Juliet is going to tease me mercilessly for weeks to come but at least we obtained the bra. The next time I need to author something embarrassing, I’ll just jump to Earth. That whole planet is embarrassing.
When I got outside, I held up the bra for Opal to check for the curse. It wasn’t cursed so I handed it to the doorman and asked him to give it to Hot Mamma with the message that it’s not cursed.
We only had one more item to collect. From Suzanne Bishop a ruby red necklace. When we arrived at Suzanne’s street a good neighbor pointed out her large mansion to us. I knocked and a stiff looking servant answered the door.
“We’d like to speak to Miss Bishop please.”
“We do not allow salespeople on the premises.”
“We’re not salespeople, we are the opposite of sales people. Your employer is in danger, we are afraid she may have purchased a cursed necklace that gives the owner and all those around her smallpox. My associate.” I pointed at Opal, “can tell if an item is cursed, just by looking at it. If it’s cursed we’ll refund her double the money. If it isn’t cursed we’ll pay her the purchase price just for looking at it. So what do you say?”
“I say that I don’t believe you and I’m calling the watch.”
“I’m really getting tired of the people in this town.” I touched his arm and jumped him to Juliet’s World, and jumped back. I walked into the hallway and yelled.
“Hello Miss Bishop, Miss Bishop.”
“What’s the meaning of this?”
“Are you Suzanne Bishop?”
“What business is it of yours?”
“We’re from the pawnbrokers, you may have purchased a cursed necklace from him the other day. If it’s cursed we’ll refund you double the purchase price, destroy the necklace and break the curse, it’s not cursed we’ll give you the purchase price for your trouble.”
“What’s the curse?”
“It’s a poverty curse, there is a one in three chance that each day you own the necklace you might go broke. You don’t know how lucky you are that we got here before it was too late for you. May we please see the necklace.”
“This is very inconvenient, and where is Smithers?”
“When we told him what the curse was ma’am he ran off down the street in fear, don’t blame him ma’am, he must know what it’s like to be poor, it’s truly horrible. Please let us see your necklace, we’d hate to see a great lady like yourself reduced to begging in the streets, or worse.”
“Very well, but close the door, I don’t want the neighbors knowing all my business.”
“Yes ma’am, Michael please close the door.”
She walked up a six feet wide staircase and disappeared into a hallway. After about ten or fifteen minutes she returned, necklace in hand. Opal needn't have nodded though she did even though I could see the reddish glow.
“Yes ma’am it’s cursed, how much did you pay, we’ll double it.”
“I don’t care about that, I just don’t want to be poor, here take it and get out.”
“In order to break the curse I need to smash it and then throw the remains in the fire.”
“Well, quickly go to the kitchen and do it then.”
“Where is the kitchen ma’am?”
“It’s down that hallway there, I think, at least that’s the hallway the servants are always coming in and out of.”
“Yes ma’am, we’ll find it.”
We walked down the hallway and just followed our noses, as it smelled like the cook had something nice cooking. The cook grabbed a cleaver and started waving it when she saw us.
“Hey, what do you lot want?”
“Your mistress sent us here to smash this necklace and throw it into the fire.”
I took out the hammer I’d bought the other day and started smashing the necklace to dust, then we swept all of the bits into the fire.
“Excuse me, cook, do you have a backdoor we can use?”
She showed me the back door and soon Opal, Mike and I were standing in an alley.
I asked, “Mike, how much did she pay for the necklace?”
“Five gold, Rose. Why?”
“Because I have to retrieve Smithers and if he hands his employer ten gold maybe he won’t get fired, or maybe he’ll just keep it and find a better job, one way or another I owe him.”
I jumped to Juliet’s World and jumped Smither’s back to the Duskhaven alley where I gave him the ten gold and his options. Then we departed, I wondered what option he chose. Mike had no idea where we were and it wasn’t until we’d emerged from the alley that he had a clue. Now with our list complete we made straight for the pawnbrokers shop.
The shop was dark, with a closed sign in the window. I proposed we get some lunch, that rich ladies kitchen had made me hungry. The pawnbroker must still be out collecting items. So Mike took us to one of his favorite street vendors where I bought us all lunch. Opal and I had nice grilled veggie kabobs, while Mike had some kind of mystery meat. That’s the great thing about veggie kabobs you can always tell exactly what vegetables they are made of, which I pointed out to Opal. But the meat, well that could be just about anything from squirrel to wagyu beef, you just never know, especially if it’s slathered with sauce.
“Thanks Rose, this used to be my favorite place to eat, once a week I’d treat myself to a nice grilled kabob.”
“The veggie kabobs are wonderful Mike, I love the sauce.” I held it up to him. “I can tell that’s a tomato, that’s a slice of onion, then some green peppers then some corn on the cob. Really delicious.”
After eating and making fun of Mike, we headed back to the pawnbrokers. The closed sign was still in the window, but there was a light in the back that hadn’t been there before. I knocked and a minute later the half orc was ushering us into the shop.
“Did you manage to get them all?”
“Yes but it wasn’t easy. Even after I told them the stuff was cursed, some people still want to keep it. I had to pay double and threaten the guy just to save him from having his manhood fall off. You destroy now.”
None of it looked cursed to me, but Opal pointed out two pieces with just a very faint glow if I looked with my peripheral vision. I had a lot of magical work to do in the future, learning to spot subtle magical fields and I wanted to learn a light spell, after having only a candle in that storm cellar, yesterday.
I smashed up the two items and we threw the broken pieces into the potbelly stove.
“Mike, please give him the list, sir just doublecheck it, I don’t want to be responsible if anything falls off. Are you sure you haven’t missed anything? You didn’t give anything away?”
“No, this is the whole list, I’ll check again against the ledger.”
He came back looking relieved.
“No, all the items are accounted for.”
“Wonderful, I’m so glad we could save you from the curse, as I’m sure your wife will be too.”
Then before we left I showed Mike the pictures in my portal wallet.
“Mike, could you carve a copy of this onto a stone pillar, if I blew up the picture so the details were easier to see?”
“Sure Rose, how big are you talking?”
“Whatever size is quickest and easiest to carve. Nothing bigger than the size of your fist for the first one. How long would it take, do you suppose?”
“I could have a rough cut done by the end of the day, but I need my tools and I doubt that my aunt is just going to let me borrow them.”
“Would it be quicker to walk to the business or for you to sketch the tools you need?”
“It’d be quicker to do a rough sketch but again I don’t have any materials.”
“Just grab my arms you two.”
Opal and Mike each took an arm and we jumped to Juliet’s World where I authored Mike a sketch pad and some drawing pencils and charcoal.
“Do you need any art supplies, sweetie?”
“No thank you, Rose.”
I watched as Mike did a rough sketch of each of the stone cutting tools he could use, as he finished each tool I authored it for him and also a hunk of rock five feet tall and two feet in diameter. I portaled us and the hunk of stone to the vineyard. Mike got to work carving the picture of the Wyldwood town gate into the stone pillar. I noticed that stakes had been planted in the ground with string outlining Paula’s new hopefully magical bakery.
“We’ll be back before six, Mike we have to report to Sparky that we’re done in Duskhaven.”
We portaled to Enigmatic Parchments.
“Ahh, my apprentices return.”
“Senior apprentice please report.”
“Yes Sparky, we checked everyone of the items that were sold by the pawnbroker and asked him to double check his records, Rose thought of a unique way to motivate the man.”
“Yes, I’m sure she did, I hope she did not scar him for life, but do continue.”
“He was absolutely certain that all the items were accounted for.”
“Very good, now what’s the plan for the afternoon, junior apprentice?”
“I’d like Opal to learn a light spell from Draco, that she can teach me tomorrow morning and I was thinking of checking on our cursed friend Sowden.”
