The man to Colin's right reached for the deck of cards and started shuffling quickly in a blur of motion, dealing cards to the six pyers. Colin gnced at his cards. He had a two of spades and a six of hearts. Colin wasn't an expert at poker, but it didn't seem good. However, he was the small blind, so he was already in a quarter of his chips. That didn't seem like the right amount, but the four men had insisted and Deirdre hadn't said anything. The man to Colin's left was the big blind, then the next man folded. Dee also folded, then the talker with the topless waitress on his p pushed some chips forward, then the dealer folded. As the attention turned back to Colin, he shrugged and put another quarter of his chips in to ante up.

  "So what's this town called, anyway?" Colin asked mely. "We were just passing through and looking for a pce to shelter."

  "Town's Dolr," one of the pyers stated. "You ain't welcome to stay, but we'll gdly take your money from you before you fuck back off into the cold."

  The dealer flipped out the next three cards. It was the three of spades, four of clubs, and Jack of diamonds. Colin ran the numbers in his head. He wasn't super hopeful about one of the remaining two remaining cards being a five, but he was already in, so ... maybe? Nobody put any more money in, so the dealer flipped another card out. Jack of hearts. Hmm, didn't help him, but not the worst. Another round of betting, nobody did anything. That was good, because Colin didn't have a lot of money left. So far this one hand had taken half of his chips. He was pretty sure that was bullshit, because the diamond had been worth a ton, but ... arguing probably wasn't going to help him here.

  Colin took a big drink of the whiskey to help stabilize his nerves, only coughing a little as the harsh liquid burned down his throat. The dealer flipped out the st card. The five of diamonds stared up at Colin, as he gulped. Exactly the card he needed. He gnced up at the talker, who stared at him with a mild smile on his face, and Colin pushed his chips in to the middle. The man to Colin's left folded, which left the talker head-to-head against Colin. He pushed his chips forward, then leaned back, painfully pinching one of the waitress's nipples so hard she yelped in pain and her face turned pale.

  "Okay, show 'em," the dealer said, gncing between the two. With a smile, Colin flipped over his two and six, revealing a straight. He grinned triumphantly at the talker.

  "Flip them for me, woman," he ordered the waitress, who obediently leaned forward and turned over the man's cards. Jack of Spades, Jack of Clubs. Four of a kind.

  "Hank wins," the dealer said, pushing the chips towards the talker. "Better luck next time, kid."

  "Oh come on, the odds of that are absolutely bullshit. And he didn't look at his cards the entire game, he couldn't have even known what he had!" Colin protested, gesturing towards the man named Hank while gncing around the table. Deirdre refused to meet his eyes while the other three men ughed at Colin.

  "Are you calling me a cheat? I'd be real fucking careful with those words if I were you," Hank warned with a dangerous gleam in his eye. "Now either buy back in or shut the fuck up while we finish our game." Colin gritted his teeth and crossed his arms, nodding his head for them to continue. He didn't want to give these assholes another bit of coin, even if he could probably afford it.

  This time, Deirdre was the big blind, so she had to pce half her chips in just to start the game. Not knowing what cards she had was making Colin sweat, hoping she knew what she was doing. He could never quite figure her out. Sometimes she seemed so wise in the ways of the world, but then she also was missing so much pop culture knowledge that he took for granted, despite her being a few years older than him. Each pyer was dealt their two cards and this time everyone folded except Dee and Hank, who again didn't bother to look at his cards. He just had the waitress push his chips into position.

  The dealer flipped the first three cards on the table. Ace of hearts, Jack of hearts, three of spades. Neither Hank nor Deirdre put more money in. The fourth card came out, the three of clubs. Once more, neither put any more money in. The fifth card, the Queen of Hearts. Colin gulped - this could get interesting fast. Deirdre passed, choosing not to put any chips in. Hank leaned around the waitress and pushed his entire stack of chips in, then stared at Deirdre.

  Deirdre gnced at her cards once more, then sighed. She pushed her chips into the table and stood. "Are we done with this farce yet? I grow tired of how poorly your dealer cheats." Colin's mouth dropped open. Deirdre pointed to her cards, first the one on the left, then the right. "Three of diamonds, three of hearts." She then pointed at Hank's two cards. "King of hearts on the left, ten of hearts on the right. Royal flush beats four of a kind."

  Hank ughed uproariously, cpping his hand on the table so hard the chips and cards went flying, as he sprayed spit from his mouth. "Not bad, doll. But you lose either way." He stood, roughly spilling the waitress from his p, who quickly scuttled back behind the bar, fixing her disheveled dress. The other three poker pyers all stood as well, turning to face Deirdre, dangerous expressions on their face.

  Colin gnced around, realizing he was the only one still sitting, and awkwardly stood, brushing his robe as he did. He wasn't entirely sure how they were going to get out of this mess, but he couldn't see a way that out wasn't going to end in bloodshed. Hank turned to study Colin, gncing up and down at the wizard before dismissing him as a threat and turning back to Deirdre.

  Hank was a tall man, standing easily over six feet tall, almost as tall as Colin's own 6'5". However, Hank probably had an extra hundred pounds of muscle that Colin cked. He looked a bit older, probably close to the upper limit in this new world, maybe 25. He had a rough beard, long and tangled hair, and wore a dangerous looking knife at his waist and had a pistol in a holster. Colin blinked at that. They had done extensive testing back at Alice's farm the previous year and bullets just straight up did not work. When they broke apart the cartridge, they could get the gunpowder to burn, but the moment they put it into a gun and tried to ignite it with a striker, it made a dull thump and nothing happened. Seeing someone actually wearing a firearm was suddenly a strange anachronism and Colin's mind spun, trying to calcute what it meant. Did Hank somehow figure out how to get the firearm working, or was he simply bluffing that Colin didn't know?

  Suddenly, he had a much closer view of the firearm. Hank pulled the weapon and pointed it at Colin's face, the barrel only inches from his nose. Colin's eyes crossed at he stared down the barrel, panicking even as the logical part of his brain told him the gun wasn't a threat. "So what do you say, love? Want to py another round? We'll let you buy back in if you want. I promise it'll be worth your while."

  Deirdre frowned, staring at Hank and then back at Colin. Colin had absolutely no idea what the gorgeous woman was thinking, her face a mask as the seconds ticked by. Finally, she nodded in agreement.

  "Excellent!" Hank's voice boomed as he ughed, the gun still aimed right at Colin. "Now, as to the matter of payment." Dee reached toward her pouch. "Oh, no. This time the stakes are higher. Your clothing. If you're modest, you can leave on your bra and panties, but if you want to buy back in, you lose the shirt and trousers."

  "What the fuck?" Colin excimed. "Deirdre, don't do it!" Colin gulped as the muzzle of the pistol was shoved painfully into his mouth, nearly chipping a tooth.

  "I'd advise you to shut the fuck up, boy. Adults are talking, and she can do what she wants with her panties. If she decides she likes someone a little more mature than you, then tough shit."

  Deirdre studied Hank, then stared at the table for a long minute, looking at the cards and chips sprayed across it. With another nod, she pulled her shirt over her head and set it on the bar. Her tan skin almost glowed in the dingy light of the tavern, her mouthwatering breasts held in pce by a surprisingly cy bra. Colin gulped, his throat dry, as he stared helplessly at Dee. She then quickly slid off her pants, the men catching a glimpse of her panties before she pced her pants on the bar as well and sat back down.

  Hank leered openly, as did the other men. "You forgot your chips, doll." Deirdre gnced over at him and quirked an eyebrow. Hank pointed toward the bar, where the bartender set a stack of chips as far from Dee as it was possible to get. "You'll need those."

  Colin watched, absolutely transfixed as Deirdre rose to her feet, cd only in her underwear, and gracefully stalked to the far end of the bar to grab her chips. Every pair of eyes in the building watched her go, her taut muscles rippling with the motion. As she spun on her heel, Colin's jaw dropped. He struggled to raise his eyes to look at Deirdre, who calmly stared back at him, then a mischievous smile fshed across her face so quickly he thought he imagined it. She then strutted back to her seat, settling into pce.

  "Well now that you're done wasting our time, let's wrap this up. I'm so generous that I'll let you be big blind again," Hank said. The men all took their seats again, handing the cards back to the dealer who resumed shuffling while they fixed their stacks of chips, the majority sitting in front of Hank.

  Deirdre put half her chips in the pot as the big blind and waited patiently for her cards. Sweat trickled down Colin's back, stress making his stomach churn with bile. What was she thinking? This was incredibly dangerous, this was not the time to screw around with a rigged poker game with a bunch of thugs. Colin gnced back and forth as Deirdre and Hank stared at one another, Deirdre completely expressionless and Hank with a leer, his eyes locked onto Deirdre's breasts as they threatened to spill from her bra.

  Neither paid much attention as the first three cards came out, but Colin took note. Three of clubs, five of spades, and Ace of diamonds. Both checked, and the fourth card hit the table. Seven of hearts. Hank's gaze shifted, getting serious about the game, and the two pyers staring at each other, while sweat ran rivers down Colin's spine. Both checked again, then the fifth card came out. Ace of hearts. Without breaking eye contact, Hank pushed his chips into the middle of the table. Deirdre matched him, pushing her meager remaining chips in.

  "When you lose, I think I'll be generous and let you buy back in once more, doll. You're fun to py with. This time it'll be the underwear, though. I can get one of the bar girls to loan you some lingerie if you like while you work off your debt."

  Deirdre reached down, flipping her cards over. The ace of clubs and the ace of spades stared back up at seven stunned pairs of eyes, while Dee continued looking at Hank. She gestured for him to flip his cards.

  "Flip my fucking cards, Dwayne," the man growled, anger evident in his voice. With a shaking hand, the dealer reached out, flipping Hank's cards. A four of diamonds and a six of spades sat there, useless as tits on a boar hog when faced with the four aces. Hank's face grew red while the dealer stammered.

  "That's not possible," Dwayne said. "There's no fucking way."

  Deirdre cocked her head to the side, gncing at him curiously, "Oh? I believe that's a legitimate hand."

  "Yea, but I didn't deal you those fucking cards," Dwayne protested. "There's no fucking way you got the aces. I dealt them to Hank."

  Hank pulled his pistol again, this time aiming at Deirdre. "How in the fuck did you do that," he accused. "What kind of cheating bullshit are you running here, dy?"

  Deirdre grinned savagely, her canines fshing in the dim light. "Bold words from a card thief," she replied, staring him in the face while the pistol remained pointed at hers. "How about a trade? Information for information."

  "What information could you possibly have that I want?" Hank scoffed.

  "I'll tell you how I cheated," Deirdre offered. Hank considered the offer for a moment, gncing toward the dealer and then back at Deirdre.

  Hank shrugged, confused but willing to entertain the half-naked elf. "And what is it you want?"

  Deirdre nodded toward Colin, who cleared his throat, drawing all eyes to him. "We're looking for Warren. He took something of value to us, and we'd like to talk to him, perhaps offer a trade. We understand that his base of operations is in this town." At the mention of the name Warren, the bartender and waitress turned pale and clung to each other, stepping further from the poker table.

  Hank gnced down at Deirdre's breasts once more, then up at her, pistol not moving. "How about this. I'll tell you where he is, but you take the rest of your clothes off in payment and tell me how you cheated."

  There was a blur of motion and Deirdre was suddenly standing nose to nose with Hank, a sharp dagger pressed against his carotid artery, a red trickle starting to run down his neck under the slight pressure Dee was exerting. "Do not take my willingness to go along with your prior requests as weakness. I enjoy pying with my prey. You are a blunt fool, holding a weapon best suited as a rock to threaten defenseless women with and pretending you have power. It may impress your friends or these battered women, but not me. An ounce more pressure and you are dead."

  Hank gulped, suddenly panicked as the nearly nude elf pressed her body into his, the knife to his throat. He was still pointing his pistol, but now at a bnk spot on the wall. His three ckeys scrambled backward in fear, while the women behind the bar ducked for cover. Colin blinked, surprised at how quickly Deirdre had moved. If he hadn't been watching so closely, he would have sworn she had teleported, it was so quick. This woman was amazing. And scary. Amazing and scary and oh so beautiful. He was in trouble for sure.

  Hank gnced around once more, taking stock of the situation. Finally, he managed to squeak out, "Okay." Deirdre eased the pressure off the knife just a tiny fraction, giving Hank enough room to speak, but still remaining fixed against him, staring him in the eyes, a completely bnk expression on her face.

  "Warren has a bunker a few miles north-west of town. I think it used to a missile silo, years and years ago, and then it got converted into one of those rich people escape bunker houses you always saw crazy billionaire people buying. I had heard he was out gathering more merchandise and just came back earlier this week, so I guess you're lucky he's around."

  "How fortunate," Deirdre observed.

  "He'll know you're coming," Hank said. "He watches everything that happens in this town. He'll have a hundred men lined up to stop you. There's no way in hell he lets you rescue one of his whores, it would ruin his business."

  Deirdre cocked her head, looking at Hank. "Thank you for the information. I wish for you to carry him a message."

  Hank stared, confused. "Okay?"

  "No violence against women." And then Deirdre opened Hank's artery with her knife. Blood sprayed across the room in a fountain, painting Deirdre and the wall behind her a scarlet red.

  "Oh FUCK," Colin said into the sudden silence.

  WhimsicalLantern