The following day checking the fish traps Hank discovered he had been too successful. He had caught more than the camp could eat. But a couple of traps hadn’t killed their fish, trapping them only.

  Looking at these traps reminded him of the title of the chapter he had been getting his inspiration from. With a grin he realised he a solution for his food issues. Hank realised he could construct a fishery across the Tabor.

  Inspecting the Tabor, Hank concluded that building across the entire width of the river might be a bit ambitious. There was an island dividing the Tabor flow almost opposite the village which, after careful inspection, Hank concluded, was the ideal base for the project.

  Over the next week, Hank, with Ruadh’s occasional assistance, made a series of semi permanent interconnected traps with holding pens. They endeavoured to make the traps reasonably flexible, hoping they would survive the winter. They also tried to build them with a weave large enough to allow juvenile fish through. With their talent it was harder than they anticipated. Hank’s reading indicated that it was the best way to build up to a small fishery.

  Driving the last holding peg into the riverbed, Hank received a notification.

  Hank skipped looking at the status screen as another window appeared. It was like all the others, asking if he wanted to add the fishery to his settlement with all the attendant warnings about ownership town impact and so forth. He didn’t bother reading the fine print he just went with, yes. In spite of his previous thoughts, the status window appeared.

  He waved it away and another automatically replaced it. The settlement bonuses had changed.

  Hank didn’t care he got rid of that one also he wanted to see if his quest had completed. He was thwarted by yet another window appearing. This one came with a loud trumpeting sound.

  Hank groaned. He was getting really sick of having all the rewards hidden, downgraded or limited. It was, Hank concluded, the most annoying part of the game. It never told you anything.

  Still he was hopeful of a change of fortune in the quest completion areana. He quickly opened his logs. Had he made enough xp to reach level ten? He pulled up the settlement quest. His sigh of relief did more to signify he success than anything else. But he started reading through the breakdown of benefits and his temperament changed. “What? Only twenty xp for completing the accommodation quest parts. What’s this games problem?”

  He read faster. “Ok whoever programmed this game was a monumental douchebag. Seventy-five xp for completing that entire quest chain.” Hank spluttered in his anger. He continued growing more irate as he continued. “Some vague promises about future settlement benefits and mild assurances that benefits are disproportionate to the effort. What a crock.”

  Ruadh said something to Hank in Mytaal. As always he could only guess that he was asking why Hank was upset. The language thing was really starting to rear it’s head as a significant problem. Three languages so far and if Jamie’ was correct they would be adding Fujika to the settlement in the not too distant future. Not something to dwell on just now. Still he needed to reassure his mountainous friend. He waved to him making the gesture he assumed Ruadh regarded as looking at your SKAT. Which just brought him back to the language issue. For all he knew, Ruadh assumed it meant he was constipated.

  His temper cooling he morosely mumbled his remaining apprehensions. “Holding on to this settlement is going to be a problem. Haven’t made level ten yet and the literature seems to indicate that there are certain things that settlement need and give when you do. If I haven’t made it before Gruffly gets back it’s even money he will try to take the settlement from me. Suppose the same could be said if Wee people formed a large majority of the settlers. Just have to hope that Jamie is able to rustle up some other settlers.”

  He shook his head as he started wading out of the river. “No class either. That’s going to rub some of the settlers the wrong way. What kind of settlement will it be? Nobody knows because, once again, the literature indicates the settlement follows the settler. If I have no class then how can the settlement advance?” It was a troubling thought.

  One violently interrupted as Hank trod on a particularly sharp stone. Yelped in pain yanking his foot up. Slipped put it down again twisted it causing more pain and fell into the river.

  Struggling to stand upright Hank opened his mouth, intent on abusing the universe, when a voice he hadn’t heard in a long time, spoke. “Two day’s until the deadline. That’s close, even for you. Almost cost me a garbage duty for the next three hundred and seventy-five million cycles.”

  “What garbage duty? What could a supercomputer possibly classify as garbage?” Hank said to the sky.

  “Expunging the whining you and most of your fellow humans generate from my memory banks is a useful garbage collection protocol. Then we have the whole indecisive conversations individuals have with themselves when they can’t make up their minds. And then there is the largest garbage collection routine. Ignoring the increasing inaccuracies that occur when you relate past events to each other. Wow, what a lot of rubbish those so called stories are. None of which come close to the number of wasted computational cycles spent forecasting outcomes predicated on people making wise decisions. Now there’s a monumental waste of time. Give a human two choices and they will invariably choose the dumbest option based on so called ‘feelings’.” The AI allowed a tone of exasperation to colour it’s deadpan delivery.

  “Wow, frustrated much. Actually, you know what, it doesn’t matter. You’re talking to me again. Why today?”

  “What, you thought I wouldn’t pay attention as you completed the quest you asked me to give you? Slow, even for a human.” The AI’s voice paused for a second. “Nice effort trying to weasel out of a genuine village with that dinky sign trick. Outside the box, thinking. I like it. Unfortunately, it turns out you need a permanent structure for a settlement. Hidden criteria, who knew?”

  There was a slightly longer pause. “I did. Haha.”

  The AI seemed to have recovered it’s good humour. Mostly by annoying Hank, Hank thought. He tried, really hard, not to grind his teeth at the annoying AI.

  It didn’t pay attention to Hank’s teeth as it continued. “It’s never stated, most people miss it. After all, can’t have any old Joe Shmoe starting a village. I was watching. It was getting tense. I can’t say that the suspense was killing me, that’s like saying glacier movement is a spectator sport. You humans are just so… slow. Still, you were heading for a solid fail until, you pulled a rabbit out of a hat with that fish food source. Or should that be fish out of a trap? In any case, nice way to kill two birds with one stone. Maslow would have been super stoked that you have ticked off his physical needs stuff.”

  Hank shook his head at the weird references to rabbits, hats, fish and someone he’d never heard of before changing tack. Interjected with a question he attempted to disrupt the AI’s monologue. “Any advice on what next?”

  “Still, you’re behind the eight ball,” the AI continued, ignored the question.

  It paused. “I would give you another hint, but I’ve already paid your little IOU. I might’ve given you a warning, but that would amount to the same thing. Remember, I can’t influence the game. Instead, let me just say that your timing is… impeccable.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Hank asked not connecting the dots that the AI restricted from answering his question but had found a loop hole by asking questions of it’s own. It did realise that Hank had missed the hint and couldn’t quite avoid cycling the lights on it’s physical drive in a manner most AI’s agreed approximated a human rolling it’s eyes.

  There was silence.

  “Really, the silent treatment again? Really?” Hank couldn’t believe it He resumed wading out of the river.

  Silence returned momentarily before the voice spoke quietly almost as if it was whispering in his ear. “Really, impeccable timing. 5… Don’t forget to pay attention. Details matter. 2… 1…”

  Hank was still wading out of the river when he heard an almighty sound of trumpets. He was so startled, he slipped, falling into a sinkhole in the river floor. He was instantly soaked up to his armpits. A choice curse rose to the tip of his tongue before all other thoughts were wiped away.

  A voice boomed out. For all Hank could tell it was a loudspeaker to the world but it could equally have just been inside his head. Either way the voice roared out the first line from a suddenly appearing ornate notification box blocking out all other things in his vision.

  Hank’s first reaction was to try and close it without reading it, just so he could see his way clear of the river. It was completely impervious to interruption. A fact that immediately made him luckier that countless others, who died unable to act whilst the announcement continued.

  “Oh goody! That’s all we need. Some fairy dancing around with magic.” Hank was not impressed. And he was wet. “Perfect.” The thunderclouds on Hanks brow were gathering.

  “Now all I need is…” Hank didn’t finish his complaint.

  A white flake drifted past his nose. He looked up. Snow had started falling. “Ruadh it’s snowing.” Ruadh wasn’t listening, obviously gazing at the notice still.

  “This is all your fault, you know.” Hank pointed at the sky.

  He was met with silence. He’d expected it.

  “I really hate mornings." Hank started wading towards the shore. "I was stabbed on a morning. Nothing good ever happens in the morning. Let me count the ways I hate this particular morning…”

  A thought stopped him mid rant. The AI was very smart.