Sixteen days down. Ten to go.

  Getting the ship on course was the easy part. Two jumps, one to escape, one to reach velocity, and they were now soaring through space at high speeds. It wasn’t the instant jumps that the RPT ships could do, but it was something. Still, this many days in, without a shower, ejecting their waste into space, sleeping on the seats and on the floor, everyone was starting to get a little cabin fever, Shishone could tell.

  He’d been taking the time to show Yarns the weapons systems aboard the ship. The kid had picked them up pretty quickly, all things considered, though with several hours a day on them, it tracked that he’d be at least somewhat proficient by now. Allister and Yu had been bonding more; they’d even reached the point of cuddling on the floor at night for some sense of comfort. It wasn’t just the boredom that ate at them, though; it was the anticipation as well.

  The cockpit was mainly for private conversations at this point. It wouldn’t be needed for another seven days, when they’d start making minor course adjustments and flip the ship to slow down. Occasionally Shishone would enter it to ensure that the autopilot and navigation were all still online and programmed in, but other than that, it was mainly a safe place of privacy at this point. One could come in, with or without a companion, and stare out at the stars in some semblance of solitude to think or have private discussions.

  He sat here, staring out at the stars, lost in his mind. The others were in the gunship’s cabin, doing nothing, most likely – they’d run out of surface level things to converse about days ago – leaving him to his quiet time. His thoughts drifted back to Mars, to Penelopi, to Tay, to their faces and voices, and he wondered if he’d ever get to see them again. It was all he wanted at this point, his sole desire, his reason. He just wanted his family back in his life again.

  He wondered what they knew – or didn’t know – about his whereabouts and goings-on. They must’ve been worried sick, all this time, not hearing from him. Did they even know he was alive? Did the Belt Administration tell them anything? Leaning back in his chair, he let his mind blank out as a wave of emotions rolled over him, bathing him in sorrow, pain, hurt, and anger. He knew that in moments, it would pass, but in the moment, it felt like thorns being dug into his skin, knives stabbing into his back, and fire searing into his heart.

  He grimaced.

  He missed them fiercely. Dangerously. Angrily. He hoped they were doing okay without him. He’d be home, he knew. He just knew, he’d see them again.

  Sighing, Shishone leaned forward, elbows on his knees as the inky, still black of space beyond watched over him. Rubbing his face, he shook his hair out, and groaned. His body still ached, and he was still coughing, though he was trying to stifle it as best he could. But that wasn’t the worst part of it. The worst part was–

  Is me.

  The voices.

  Is us. Is you, and us, and we.

  He shook his head violently, trying to knock them loose. What was happening? He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. It was as though someone was standing behind him at all times, only when he turned, there was nobody there. Just some etheric person, whispering into his ear when he tried to sleep, when he was alone, and rarely, when he was with the others. He assumed his sickness was getting worse, and perhaps it had something to do with that, but he just wasn’t sure. Either way, it was unnerving.

  They miss you, said the voice.

  He grunted, rubbing his eyes.

  They think about you all the time.

  “Shut up,” he muttered.

  Listening for a moment, it seemed the voice had listened. Sighing in relief, he ran a hand through his greasy, matted hair, and stood, just wanting to escape his ruined solitude now. He took one last look out at the nothing beyond, and then turned and headed back into the cabin of the ship.

  Here, Allister, Yarns, and Yu, were all sitting silently. Yu actually appeared asleep, leaning on a crate that was buckled and magnetized against the wall, and Yarns and Allister were talking about Earth. They continued as he entered, though Allister did give a small wave. He examined the three of them. They all looked weary, with dark eyes and frazzled hair. Allister especially appeared pale and worn.

  He went and sat across from them, on the opposite side of the crate that Yu was sleeping on, and offered them a smile, which they attempted to return.

  “It’s tight back here,” he said, sitting back. He’d said it before, and he was sure he’d say it again on this voyage.

  As usually, Yarns agreed. “It is.”

  They stared at each other awkwardly. What was there really left to say? None of them seemed eager to discuss recent events, and the small talk had died around day five of the trip, and so silence was becoming the new norm. Shishone looked to Allister, who offered him a tired smile.

  “You holding up okay?” he asked.

  She shrugged, but nodded, and said, “I suppose I am. As best I can be, at least.”

  “It’s not easy, that’s for sure. Even I’m not used to extended flights in a gunship. Thank god for the vacuum of space,” he said. “I’m just hoping there’s more fuel on Sedna.”

  “Speaking of Sedna,” Yarns said, leaning in. “What do you think we’ll find on there? From what I understand, it just… stopped responding? The people there went quiet?”

  Allister hummed in agreement. “Yes, that’s exactly what happened. Nobody knows what happened on Sedna, if anything. Though with all we’ve seen, I would assume it isn’t pretty.”

  Shishone rubbed his eyes and groaned. “No matter what we find, I’m just going to be happy to get off this ship and stretch my legs.”

  “I wouldn’t be so eager,” Allister cautioned. “If Sedna faced a fate even half as severe as MK2, it will still prove to be dangerous. At least for now, we’re safe.”

  He had to concede, she had a point. Rubbing his eyes, he said, “True enough.”

  “Shishone,” Allister said, out of the blue. “Can I ask you something that may be… personal? I feel that we may as well get to know each other better before we reach Sedna. You know, just to answer any lingering questions, I suppose.”

  He cocked his head. “Like what?”

  “What really happened on Ceres? What was your mission there? I know that TerraGov was trying to crush the rebellion, but your purpose specifically, Shishone. What was it?”

  Yarns turned now, leaning fully into the conversation with eager listening ears.

  Shishone watched him, and then eyed Allister, before huffing and saying, “I was the pilot of a dropship gunship. The Calypso. We were one of three specially tasked dropships in the third wave of the attack.”

  Allister watched intently, listening eagerly. “What were you tasked with?” she asked, flipping her hair to better see him and read his body language.

  He shifted uneasily. “We were tasked with dropping a squadron of men and a bomb. The plan was, we would drop the men, and they would clear an LZ – landing zone, I mean – and we’d come in hot. Unload the bomb. Ours specifically was meant for a deep space communications array, to prevent Ceres for calling for help from the rest of the Belt, and to blind them to any incoming ships. The men on the Calypso were meant to carry the bomb on foot, and return to the ship after arming it, for a clean break. Only, as you know, it didn’t go that way.”

  Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

  “You crashed,” she said. “You crashed into a residential building.”

  He nodded solemnly. “I did. And most of my men were…”

  They were dead, said the voice. Because of you.

  He shivered, an icy chill running through his veins. Allister and Yarns watched, concerned, but he picked up his mood and continued, “Most of my men had died on impact.”

  Allister frowned. Yarns even seemed upset, and said, “I’m… so sorry.”

  Shishone waved it off. “The most important thing was the bomb. It was still in tact. Somehow, it hadn’t detonated on impact, which I credit to the gel suspension we’d used to tether it to the ship’s guts. I was, well, I was disoriented. In pain. There was fire, and death, and… hell. I thought I had died for a moment.”

  Shishone! he could hear. It was Captain Marks’ voice, calling out to him. Shishone dammit!

  He continued, “There was one other survivor though. My captain, the leader of the squad. Captain Marks. Man was a dick, always had been. But today, something had really crawled inside his brain and died. He wanted to detonate the bomb. And when I came to, I told him no.”

  Stopping, he watched them intently, and they did the same to him, waiting for him to continue.

  “And then?” Yarns said, seemingly on the edge of his seat – and physically, too.

  Shishone shook his head. “That’s all you’ll get from me about that. It’s a painful thing to think about.”

  Yarns mouthed an ‘oh’ and sat back, and an awkward silence befell them all. Shishone, sensing the weirdness, cut through it by turning to Allister and saying, “What about you? What were you doing on Ceres during the rebellion?”

  “I lived there. Went to school there for molecular substructure research and biochemistry. My husband and I, we wanted to start a family there. We were actually on our way when… when…”

  She began to choke up a bit. No tears came, but her voice grew weak and hesitant.

  She continued, “When the war broke out. The warheads, the fallout… our little girl didn’t make it.”

  Shishone’s eyes widened at this. “You had a little girl.”

  She nodded. “Yes, I did.”

  “How do you not hate me – us, TerraGov – for Ceres?” he asked, bewildered.

  Shrugging, Allister said, “I don’t hate you because I was in that complex. The one you crashed into. If anything, Shishone, I owe you my life.”

  She looked at him with soft, glossy eyes, and offered a weak smile. “You saved the lives of me and my husband, and countless others. Gave us a second chance. That’s when I saw the nuance. Was in the papers, after the dust settled, and they were talking about you.”

  Shishone’s gaze fell to his lap, where he stared at his hands, soaking in the ramifications of his choices. “Allister,” he said, not looking up, “what made you come out to the Belt, then?”

  “A new chance at life,” she said softly. “I needed hope. And I was offered a job on Arrokoth, which came with a pretty large boost in pay. My husband, he found a job here too, piloting gunships, and – ah, if you don’t know, which I mean, why would you… my husband was part of the rebellion. They spared him and pardoned him when he swore his piloting skills to TerraGov, and because of me, he was able to get a foot in with the Kuiper Administration too. So, we moved out here, thinking we would save some money, buy a home on Earth or Mars or maybe even Ceres again, settle down and try at a family again. But…”

  Yarns, enraptured, said, “But what, Doctor?”

  She looked at him and offered a halfhearted, yet reassuring smile. “He went missing on Sedna.”

  Yarns and Shishone both shot her a look. Shishone said, “So that’s what Yu meant.”

  She sunk into herself a little. “He was part of the first recon team sent when Sedna went dark. I stayed in fairly decent contact with him all the way up until they reached Sedna, where I lost contact with him. I approached Xiao about it, but he didn’t give me any answers. So I’ve just been waiting, losing hope. And now, here we are, about to make the same folly as him. I just hope to see him one more time.”

  Shishone and Yarns passed a look between each other, one of understanding and sympathy for the Doctor. Yarns put his hand on her shoulder and said, “Doctor McCullinay, that sounds really hard to deal with. I’m sorry. I hope we can find him.”

  She offered him a soft smile and said, tears forming in her eyes, “I don’t have much hope. But if I could at least find out what happened, it will be enough.”

  Allister wiped her eyes, sniffled, and regained her composure rather quickly, turning to Corporal Yarns and saying, “What about you, Corporal? We’ve been talking. Tell us a bit about yourself.”

  A blush crept into Yarns’ face. “Ah, well, there’s not much to tell, I guess,” he said, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. “I grew up on Earth, had a loving family, joined the Corps to earn my voting rights, and got stationed out here on my second tour. Really, that’s about it.”

  “How was that?” Allister asked. “Earth, I mean. And the transition to the Belt.”

  He shrugged. “It was alright, I mean. Nothing major went wrong. Had a hiccup here or there with my name change, but all in all it’s been smooth. Until lately, right?”

  Shishone raised an eyebrow. “Name change? You’re married? What about that boy you were fawning over?”

  Yarns’ eyes widened for a flash second, just perceptible enough by Allister and Shishone, just barely. “I, um, I mean, no.”

  “Then why change your name?” Allister asked.

  He fidgeted uncomfortably. “I… I am…”

  Shishone thought for a second, before realizing, and his eyes widened now. “Oh, oh my God. You’re…”

  Yarns shied away. “Yes.”

  Allister, clearly lost, looked to Shishone, then to Yarns. “You’re what?”

  He looked at her and sunk into himself. “I’m transgender.”

  “Oh… oh my…” Allister said. “Female to male?”

  Yarns nodded.

  She blinked in surprise. “I’d have never guessed, Yarns.”

  “Me either,” said Shishone.

  He shrugged. “Well, with advancements in the procedures, it’s really easy for me to blend in. And I mean, Earth is really tolerant now, so nobody really questioned it when I came out. People just kind of accepted it.”

  “Well,” said Shishone, “Mars is much the same, and I accept you too. Don’t worry.”

  “As do I,” said Allister with a smile. “In fact, I’m proud of you.”

  Blushing, Yarns looked at her and stammered. “Why?”

  “For being yourself,” she said. “I couldn’t do it.”

  “It’s really not that bad,” he said, squirming. “And like I said, now, there’s this.”

  He held out his arm – he’d been out of his armor and in his undershirt and pants for a while now – and raised his sleeve, showing a small patch embedded on his arm. “I get it changed out every year, and it just supplies me with testosterone throughout the year. Back in the old days, they used to have to do weekly injections. So really, it’s not so bad. And like I said, people aren’t so judgmental nowadays anyway.”

  Allister nodded, smiling. “It’s still really cool.”

  Shishone nodded. “Way to go Yarns. Good on you.”

  “Awh, well… it’s nothing, really.”

  “Were your parents okay with it?” Allister asked.

  He nodded. “Oh, yes. They were. They didn’t really understand it at first, but they accepted me as their son pretty quickly. The only real transphobia I’ve experienced is in the Corps, but even that gets stamped out pretty quickly.”

  Hesitating, Yarns then said, attempting to divert the conversation, “What about you Shishone? You have family, right? When was the last time you spoke to them?”

  Shishone winced. “It’s been a long while. Some months. I hope they’re okay without me. I hope I get to see them again.”

  “You will,” Yu said, wiping some drool from her mouth as she sat up and peered around the crate. Shishone turned to her, and saw that she was still waking up, bleary eyed, yawning. She smiled at them. “What are we talking about?”

  “Our pasts,” Allister said. “Where we came from.”

  A surprised look passed over Yu’s tired face, before it fell into a darker, more solemn glare. “Ah, I see.”

  “What about you?” Shishone said. “Being Xiao’s daughter couldn’t have been easy. The man is a force to be reckoned with.”

  Yu’s lips pulled taut, and she half shrugged. “It wasn’t the easiest,” she said, standing and stretching out with another yawn. “I grew up on Earth with him. He was always working, and pretty stern at home, but I remember, there was kindness there. He cared. There was always love in his heart, and… it’s just a far cry from what he’s become.”

  “Did you always want to follow in his footsteps?” Allister then asked. “I mean, coming out here, becoming a Director, all that. Did you want that?”

  “Not really?” Yu said, approaching and sitting beside Shishone. “Honestly, I’d always had an interest in astronomy and cosmology. I wanted to go to Oxaris to study it, but my father ended up pushing me toward Harvard Earth to study interspace communications. I only wanted to make him proud, so I went along with it in the end. But I always kept my astronomy hobby in the back of my mind.”

  “That’s why you’re so good at interspace nav,” Shishone said, understanding and surprise mingling in his voice and upon his face. “No wonder you had the coordinates just off-cuff.”

  Yu shrugged, but smiled a proud, shy smile. “Yeah, I know a thing or two.” She laughed lightly, and said, “What brought this all on? Going a little stir crazy?”

  Shishone chuckled. “Yeah, basically. At least, I am.”

  “It’s not usual for people to take such large trips in such a small gunship,” Yu said. “We’re probably all feeling a little weird right now.”

  Allister said, “I know I am. Yarns?”

  He nodded in agreement. “Yep.”

  “What do you all think we’ll find when we get to Sedna?” Yu asked. “Personally, I’m not expecting a lively welcome.”

  Standing to stretch out, Shishone, shaking out his legs, said, “I’m thinking we’re gonna have to use these.” He patted a rifle locked on the wall. “If MK2 taught me anything, it’s that everything is fucked. We’d better be prepared.”

  Yarns stood too, stretching out his arms. “I’m just ready to be off this ship.”

  “Amen to that,” Yu said, standing as well.

  Allister, feeling left out, stood with them all, and they all then looked to each other, and for a moment, none said anything. Then, she smiled, and said, “I’m glad I’m with you three. I’d hate to be alone right now.”

  “Same,” said Yu.

  Shishone nodded in agreement, and Yarns said, “Me too. Thanks for scooping me off of Makemake. Honestly, I feel like I have a better chance here than I did down there, just living in ignorance.”

  “So it’s agreed then,” Yu said. “At least we have each other.”

  “Agreed,” Shishone said.

  “Agreed,” parroted Allister, and then Yarns.

  At least they could all agree on that.