True love is inseparable from sorrow

  Zhao Shuiguan crouched at the door of Tan Shumei's office, he hadn't returned yet, probably the interview hadn't ended. It was ironic that what he called "having a meeting" and what she called "having something on" turned out to be the same thing.

  She didn't dare to send him a text message. On Friday after work, the professor had almost left, and she was squatting there alone, looking up at the trees outside the corridor with their leaves rustling in the wind, their green eyes blinking. The falling catkins made her rub her eyes nonstop. The sky was a bright blue, and Zhao Shui Guang blinked hard, feeling a bit dizzy from staring at such a sky for too long.

  She heard the footsteps when she had already stood up; no one else would have footsteps like that.

  Tan Shu Mo looked at her from afar and saw that she had hung her head in shame, just like a child who had done something wrong.

  She said in a low voice: "Teacher Tan, I'm sorry." He ignored her and opened the door with the keys in his hand.

  The door creaked open with a "click", and the cool air from the office rushed out.

  He walked in, without looking back, his voice cold and detached, cutting through her heart: "I give up."

  Zhao Shuiguang was perplexed and asked "What?"

  Can't see his face, but heard his voice, full of restraint: "I didn't score, you can rest assured."

  How can he make a professional judgment with such subjective emotions?

  Zhao Shuiguang panicked and followed him in, softly shouting: "I didn't know it would be like that, I originally wanted to tell you today!"

  He slapped the key onto the red-lacquered desk, her angle only allowing her to see his shrinking facial features, pursed lips, and the dry air of late summer bursting into flames.

  "Zhao Shuiguan, have you ever thought about how I felt when I saw the materials?" As soon as he got off the plane, he heard her gentle voice and his fatigue disappeared. He was eager to finish work early and see her, thinking they still had a wonderful weekend ahead of them, but unexpectedly, what he saw first was an application for studying abroad.

  He was in charge of assisting with the screening of the business school, but it was all just a formality. With his recent busy schedule, he could have easily skipped it. Although he had a carefree personality, when it came to work and academic matters, he was meticulous. Since he had put his name on it, he wanted to do something about it, so he went. But when he saw her file, he sat in the large conference room, his heart racing with anger. He wished he could rush out and confront her, or even take her away.

  How could she, how could she deceive him like this! He kept asking himself that thousands of times.

  When Zhao Shuiguan walked in, stood in the center of the room and smiled to greet everyone, Tan Shumeng suddenly calmed down. He looked at her coldly and replied. In the end, he still asked, actually knowing that she wouldn't answer, based on his understanding of her.

  Watching Zhao Shuiguan rush out, Tan Shumeng stretched out his finger to point at the desperately jumping temple, and quietly closed his eyes without speaking again.

  It was the first time a man had such a deep and intense experience of what it means to be exhausted both physically and mentally.

  She walked over, gently wrapped her arms around his strong back, hands stuck to his heaving chest, whispered: "Sorry, I really wanted to say! I should have consulted with you! I want to go and take a good look at this world, what kind of life can I lead? I really want to go, think that in the future I can stand better by your side!"

  Her face was pressed against the silk shirt under his worn suit jacket, smooth fabric carrying the scorching warmth of his body, separated from the tight lines of his back by a thin layer, burning her cheeks.

  His long and powerful hand grasped her slender and soft hand back, turning around.

  He bowed his head, and his smooth, warm forehead touched hers. His dark eyes sparkled with moisture as he said in a low voice, "Why not stay by my side? Isn't it good to be like this, staying by my side?"

  The two were tightly wrapped in each other's scorching breath, he didn't want to think anymore, closed his eyes to explore her lips, entwined kisses on the corners of her mouth, the tip of his tongue was like worshiping, tracing the outline of her lips, every mark on her lips, fascinated as if it were a treasure.

  He would whisper a sentence every time he touched it: "Stay" "Stay"

  Zhao Shuiguan was drowned in such a whirlpool, she had experienced his arrogance, and had never heard of such a person speaking so softly. She closed her eyes as if she could see his vulnerable expression, with his proud temperament he probably didn't want to let her know.

  Zhao Shuiguan suddenly felt infinite sadness at this moment, stretched out his hand, inserted it into his thick hair, and touched the roots of his hair with his fingertips, his heart already numb with reluctance.

  He kissed her moist eyelashes, and the warm air spilled over her eyes. "Don't go, huh?" The tone rose at the end, coaxing her in a hoarse voice.

  She thought her throat was going to be unable to make a sound, but still heard her own response: "Sorry"

  She was about to agree, but now that she has agreed, it's unlikely she'll be able to do it in the future, and she'll probably regret it. Sorry, she can't make such a promise.

  He said, "What's wrong?" just like that night when he also asked, "Are you afraid of the unknown future? I'll take your hand and walk with you. I'll stand in front of you and do it first, what's wrong with that?"

  Yes, he has always been ahead of her, now it's up to her to move forward. A small hope that in the future a better self can appear by his side.

  He no longer spoke, and gently kissed her brow, his icy lips brushing against hers, bringing a lifetime of desolation like a butterfly. His hand lightly released hers, she grasped at it wanting to hold on, but her fingernails only scratched the palm of her own hand.

  He slowly put his hand back into his pocket, retreated, leaned against the edge of the desk, stretched out his hand again, pulled at his tie, revealing a prominent Adam's apple and distinct collarbone. A simple action, yet it seemed to have taken an eternity.

  Tan Shu Mo turned his body away and stopped looking at her.

  He said: "Zhao Shuiguan, I also have my own pride." In just a few short seconds, it seemed like a hundred years had passed. He said "I'll let you go."

  His voice was firm and resolute. Yes, he said, why did she have to live like this, all the way from high school to here, if she wanted to leave, no matter how far he chased her, it would be useless.As a man, he also had his own pursuits, if he wanted to go abroad, why did he come back from England, his roots were here, since he decided to come back, he never thought of leaving.Love was beautiful, but when did she need to be so humble? From the beginning, she didn't want to reveal their relationship, until now her concealment, her persistence. He really felt a chill in his heart.

  He said that even if he were to spend his entire life alone and unaccompanied, he would never beg for love, this is his pride.

  That day, as the sun set in the west, in a room filled with memories, the sunlight scattered and broke into pieces.

  Xi Miao was the one who noticed that Zhao Shui Guang was acting strangely, so she pulled this little girl out and said they were going to drink tea and clear their minds. She couldn't help but wonder how she had so much free time on her hands. It turned out that something big had happened.

  With her wonderful personality, Zhao Shuiguan hid such a big thing, she must be scolded to the point of vomiting blood, but looking at her so spirited and absent-minded appearance, she didn't mean it either.

  She also knew that Zhao Shuiguan was a very stable person, who would only say things when he had eight or nine out of ten certainty, and as friends, they didn't bother with trivial matters.

  "What are you going to do now?"

  Zhao Shuiguang spat out his straw and said: "I don't know, I don't want to go out!"

  Xi Miao said: "It's better to stay in, this evil capitalist society is not as comfortable as our own! Don't worry, sister will keep you company and have some tea!"

  Zhao Shuiguang forced a smile. Xi Miao looked at the top of Zhao Shuiguang's lowered head and sighed several times.

  As a Xi Miao who has been following a group of artistic young people all day, they think that men like Shu Mo are too high-end. It is said that a man's gentleness is fatal, and a man's tenderness can indeed touch people's hearts, but women are often not moved by men who are willing to humble themselves for them.

  A man who can still maintain his dignity at the last moment is a kind of poison that penetrates to the bone marrow.

  The interview results came out, and Zhao Shuiguan was admitted as the last one on the admission list. Next was an eight-month training program, followed by IELTS exams, and finally, professors from Melbourne University would come to review and re-select.

  Although the school was so big, the two people seemed to have no chance of meeting again. Several times she saw him standing out among a group of professors and leaders, several times she saw the familiar car tail when passing through the small street at the back door of the school, her heart suddenly beating wildly.

  He has always been a man of his word, and she knows it better than anyone else. But, dear, when I was trying to find your figure and touch your breath, did you ever turn around and look at me too?

  Zhao Shuiguang told the three people in the dormitory about his communication, and everyone didn't know what to say. Xu Ying said a sentence: "Xiao Guang, you can't even sweep the floor clean, how can you go abroad? As the saying goes: If one cannot sweep their own house, how can they sweep the whole world?"

  Everyone was amused by this, and burst out laughing. Every time the dormitory cleaned up, Comrade Zhao Shuiguan's sweeping of the floor was not qualified, and she would be deducted points by the dorm mother. In the end, Xu Ying simply let her take care of dumping garbage for the whole year.

  Zhao Shuiguang lay on the upper bunk, her feet propped up against the wall. The wall by the window was plastered with pictures of her favorite celebrities: real-life ones like Wu Yanzu and Ouyang Nana, as well as cartoon characters like a pair of cool-looking Liuxing Feng brothers.

  Zhao Shuiguan suddenly felt that such a moment, two years had suddenly slipped away.

  Friendship, career, love, suddenly came to a turning point in life, who will teach her how to make choices.

  She knocked her head against the iron railing of the bed, dazedly recalling that person's inadvertently raised golden sleeve cuff, his good-looking eyebrows and eyes, the facial features she had stroked, his smiling gaze, and his straight fingers.

  The man she loved had the softest lips in the world.

  The school's broadcast began to sound, the host was their classmate, and the voice in the broadcast sounded a bit unfamiliar. Who had requested which song slowly started playing, Zhou Huajian's "Forget Sorrow Grass", an old song she used to listen to, but at this moment it was particularly moving.

  He sang: "Friends walk together for life"

  He sang: "Recently been more annoyed"

  He softly sang: "Let the weak us understand cruelty, face every cold life fiercely, those who have loved lingeringly often have fate but no destiny", "You and I come and go, meeting is not as good as a faint smile".

  Zhao Shuiguan suddenly felt a surge of sorrow that was suffocating him, and hot tears slowly rolled down his cheeks onto the pillow, leaving two dry streaks.

  She stroked the towel on her bedside table and covered her scorching eyes.

  Those two years were the best time of my life.