I had to watch my step as we left Jorrvaskr and the Companions behind, all the mead those maniacs egged me on to drink leaving me a bit of a mess. Whatever I was doing with magicka to give myself form and substance, it seemed to let me get wasted still.

  Which wasn't a bad thing, per se. It wouldn't be fun to never be able to indulge again.

  It also left my tongue feeling looser as I turned to look at Skadi walking beside me, her hand in mine. Lydia had returned to Dragonsreach to prepare for our departure tomorrow, and Bright-Like-Dawn had vanished somewhere. "So, what was that reward if I won?"

  Those very blue eyes of hers looked down at me… but not in like a bad way. She was just tall.

  I also couldn't tell if the flush on her cheeks was because of my mentioning it or all the mead she had filled her belly with as well. Though unlike yours truly she wasn't even swaying.

  "I still have to find Old Gray-Mane." She bumped me with her hip when she saw my pout. "You'll like it."

  I watched as she bounded up the squiggly stairs to the forge built into the stony hill, the embers it was giving off visible in the darkening sky. I wandered down the other set of stairs leading back to the rest of Whiterun myself, carefully again so as not to trip and turn into a runaway bowling ball.

  I had wanted to do some shopping when we got to Whiterun. After taking my cut of the bounties from Ralof, I was sitting on a good seven hundred septims. There had to be something to spend it on in a city like this.

  And browsing around, I did find something besides stocking up on more potions for Bleak Falls Barrow. The boots themselves were nothing special, but the enchantment was. If I was going poking around in the dark, I wanted to make sure I didn't slip and fall to my doom.

  "You're welcome to try them on."

  I gave the guy with a goatee and skin like burnt honey a wink. "No need."

  They cost almost as much as I spent in total back in Riverwood, but you can't put a price on not falling in a deep, dark hole.

  I found somewhere quiet after I left and then I ate them, the sensation just as wrong and uncomfortable as I remembered. Unlike the bracelets, however, this enchantment wasn't particularly subtle. Even being drunk off of my ass still, my steps were somehow sure and even graceful.

  I burned a little magicka to check on Skadi, but she was still all the way up there.

  Wandering around some more, I found myself drawn to the unit of a tree I noticed earlier. It had black cracks running down the bark, and its leaves would have looked like cherry blossoms back home if not for how dull their color was.

  It must have been a much more impressive sight when it wasn't in this state.

  Not able to help myself, I got closer and put a hand to the bark, finding it cool to the touch. Then I stared as it suddenly… shivered? I wasn't sure how to describe what just happened, but it didn't seem to be a fan of my touching it.

  …Wait. Was it leaning away from me now? Seriously?

  One would think it would be more worried about the whole being struck by lightning thing, but noooo…

  I was giving it the stink eye when I heard someone speaking behind me. "It is a sad sight, isn't it?"

  I turned around to find a woman with a blue-green shawl and robes. She was as tall as most Nords seemed to be, if not nearly as tall as Skadi.

  It seemed she also misinterpreted my glaring as something else.

  "It is," I blandly replied.

  I could have kept asking her questions until I got the fetch quest to find Nettlebane, but even if I was the Thane of Whiterun now, that didn't mean I had to stick my nose into everything. And that went double for a tree as rude as that one.

  There was a frown on her lips as she took a closer look at it. "It wasn't leaning that way earlier…" she muttered under her breath.

  I took that as my cue to skedaddle. I didn't want to be accused of sexually harassing trees or something.

  Wandering some more, a few of the guards even greeted me with a 'Thane' or something similar. They must have got the word out, and I did kind of stand out even while dressed like the locals.

  I was rocking the white-and-gold shirt though in my humble opinion.

  After checking up on Skadi again and finding her in the same spot still, I decided to pursue a bit of whimsy. Thinking about something interesting, something valuable, a good bargain, I triggered the spell again.

  It pointed me at the seedier parts of Whiterun, and obviously I followed.

  Also, as I was hollowed out more and more, I noticed something interesting. I was becoming more sober. Knocking back a potion didn't return my buzz either, it only filled in the blanks.

  Well, if someone ever tried to poison me in the future…

  "Timur the Enchanter knows why you have come," I heard someone say in a raspy voice.

  I tried not to stare, but it was hard. All the time I've been here and this was my first time seeing a Khajiit. It was much more uncanny than I thought it would be, the head of a cat on a mostly human body. It being so dark out only made it worse.

  Wait… "Did you say Timur the Enchanter?"

  He ignored me instead to pull out a knapsack? This had to be some kind of cosmic joke.

  "Timur the Enchanter knows you have come for this. Discount today for you."

  I gave him an incredulous look. "What even is it?"

  He growled like an actual cat under his breath as he proceeded to shove his entire arm into it and then some, and I quickly got the message. It was a bag of holding.

  I quickly paid the man… cat… or maybe walking, talking cosmic joke, and then I was on my way. My head was so full of fuck that I overlooked something kind of important. Like the fact that I eat enchantments.

  As I felt my hand chow down on the bag of holding, the strangest feeling swept over me, like I was growing from the inside out or inside… in.

  A certain spider seemed to stir as well. "What have you done, Abomination? That pull of yours is even more unpleasant now."

  I suddenly saw another dimension as to why Mephala was so spooked after I'd picked it up. She probably felt me trying to eat it.

  Still, if I had any idea how to control it, I wouldn't be in this situation right now.

  "You'll get used to it."

  I heard a sniff as her presence receded again. You had to be stern with unfathomable cosmic horrors.

  As I took a few steps forward, and a few more steps after that, I slowly got used to the changes, whatever they were. Also, Skadi was finally on the move, moving in the direction of Dragonsreach.

  If I hurried I would get there first, my movements even more graceful now that I was mostly sober.

  I smiled in the face of her surprise. "How long have you been waiting?"

  "As long as I needed to," I answered vaguely.

  Skadi snorted, lifting a monstrous axe I only just now noticed.

  Seriously, the one she had me gift her was already almost as tall as me, and now this one made it seem small. It also had to weigh a ton since she wasn't maneuvering it as quickly.

  "I did most of the work," she bragged. "Old Gray-Mane was even older than I remembered."

  I didn't think she was being entirely truthful there, surprisingly. Still, she was holding it out like she wanted my approval.

  I lit a spark of flames over my palm like a makeshift torch, allowing me to see its deep blue color and the patterning vaguely like Damascus steel. "Draugr beware," I joked.

  "Maybe after I've tempered it in bandits' blood." With that bloodthirsty grin on her lips, I could almost pity whatever poor fuckers we encountered. Almost.

  I beckoned to the steps with my torch hand instead. "Ladies first."

  Just as I hoped, she didn't try and race me to the top this time, instead opting for a more sedentary pace just ahead of me. Which was all to say that I was a happy man.

  Although with the way she looked back at me when we reached the top, something told me she knew exactly what she was doing. Then she dragged me to a part of Dragonsreach I hadn't seen yet, a great stone room with a pool in the middle that was slightly wafting steam.

  …Hot springs?

  Well, this was better than the time she insisted we take a dunk in the river on the way to Whiterun. The freezing, ice cold river. Yeah, that wasn't fun…

  Also, while I was monologuing to myself, she had already stripped and waded into the water with a sigh, her hair floating behind her like a cloak.

  Then she turned around and gave me a come hither look. I might have broken the world record for stripping.

  Wading in myself, I heard her giggling at the explosive sigh I gave. I could feel myself almost melting into the blissfully warm water, leaving me a vegetable unwilling to move or even think.

  "Bleak Falls Barrow might have to wait a few weeks," I told her. Or maybe I could take it with us somehow.

  The next moment I saw my tower again, still rising higher and higher. If this was my turf, why couldn't I put some hot springs here?

  Unfortunately, nothing I tried worked, the tower and the sound being all there was. It made no sense. With Meridia, manifesting a body had been as easy as breathing.

  I might have to return and ask her about that. Or maybe make friends with a more reasonable Daedric Prince and ask them. Definitely not Mephala.

  Back on Mundus, I found Skadi staring down at me curiously. "I was beginning to wonder if I might have to carry you back to our room."

  Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

  I gave her a look. "That's supposed to be my job."

  "I won't say no if you want to try," she said with a toothy grin.

  My masculine pride demanded I try, but the more sensible part of me wondered if my spine would fold in two in the attempt.

  "And leave already?" I asked evasively.

  She lowered herself into the water again with a smile, snuggling up to my side. We were both almost swimming in her hair now.

  "I was thinking I could go with you to the College of Winterhold after," she suddenly commented. "I'm a fair hand at alchemy, I'll have you know. Good woad is hard to come by, and expensive. And I've always wanted to try my hand at enchanting."

  "Smithing, alchemy, now enchanting?" I teased.

  She looked away cutely. "I've always been restless."

  "I didn't say it was a bad thing." I turned her to face me again gently and leaned in to kiss her lips. "I love your passion and curiosity."

  And she was honest to a fault. I'd have to be a moron not to appreciate that.

  I just also knew that she was going to have a lot on her plate soon. Alduin wasn't going to kick his own ass.

  She was giving me this hungry, smoldering look now. "I think it's time I made good on my promise," she husked. Then she took my hand and pulled me after her.

  She didn't even bother with her clothes, just grabbed them and held them to her chest, and I followed her example. It was late, so it was only the guards who saw us, and they politely looked the other way.

  When we snuck back into our room, Skadi didn't waste any time, and I quickly got the hint when she gently pushed me against the wall and sank to her knees.

  Well, technically she had tried to squat down at first, but that didn't quite work out.

  She was also staring so intently at a certain part of me now that I couldn't help an awkward cough. Though I don't think she even noticed with how focused she was, her hot breath tickling it.

  I had hinted to her maybe doing this one night, but she didn't seem interested. She wasn't a girl used to being on her knees.

  Which maybe made it all the better when she leaned in and pressed her lips to it almost like a kiss, drawing a groan from me.

  Her very blue eyes caught mine again with some embarrassment. "Don't expect me to make a habit of this."

  I wound a few strands of her still wet hair around a finger. "Of course not."

  She returned her attention to the matter at hand, her nails digging into my thighs to keep herself steady. I must have been as hard as a rock and then some when she leaned in again.

  It was a dozen awkward kisses later that she closed her eyes and put the tip of the proverbial spear in her mouth, her tongue nervously poking at it. Her brows quickly scrunched together at the taste, but I knew she wasn't a quitter.

  I tried to encourage her with a groan, but that just made her even more embarrassed. It was really hard to imagine a girl like this could be so adorable.

  Leaning back against the wall, I closed my eyes instead, and that seemed to work better as she slowly became more adventurous, the sounds turning more debauched as well.

  I couldn't stop another groan as it hit the back of her throat, but this time it only seemed to tickle her competitive spirit. Or maybe dominating spirit would be more accurate, as she was staring down the length of it like it had insulted her when I looked back down.

  I wasn't going to pretend it wasn't hot as fuck watching her proceed to try and break in her gag reflex with my cock, and with determination like hers, it wasn't long until she succeeded. I could practically feel it lodge into her throat slightly as she buried her nose in my hairs, looking up at me triumphantly.

  I'd said it before, but seriously, what a girl…

  I was on such a high that I only noticed my very happy friend had tried to do something funny after she retreated to stare at it.

  I played dumb, because what else could I say? That my body was some kind of Lovecraftian nightmare? That it had a mind of its own sometimes?

  Telling her I loved what she was doing had her continue, though she wasn't as willing to take as much again. Not that it mattered. I was already close, and her mouth was like a velvet furnace.

  I had sense enough to warn her, but she just caught my eyes with nervous determination. That was all it took.

  Her blonde brows scrunched tightly when I finally came, my eyes closing with a groan as I filled her mouth.

  I only noticed just how much I came when I had come to my senses, finding her cheeks like a chipmunk's, which considering it was her was impressive. It was an inhuman amount.

  It wasn't hard to tell that she was out of her element, but she again showed she wasn't a quitter (or a spitter) by noisily swallowing, her throat moving heavily to get it all down.

  She massaged it after with an unhappy sound. "Not my best meal."

  I chuckled softly, playing with her hair again. "Let me return the favor."

  I soon had my head between her thunder thighs as she laid back on our broken bed, mumbling all kinds of silly things as she pulled at my hair.

  Somehow she didn't seem to mind when it was my tongue that was doing impossible things.

  We eventually collapsed in a tangle of limbs as she huffed and puffed her heart out. "How can I say it was a reward when you go and do something like that?" she complained.

  I kissed her skin softly. "You'll just have to find some other way." Maybe it was daring of me to give her generous posterior a pat as I said it.

  She snorted softly. "I don't think so." Shucks.

  "Even if I made you my wife?" Now where did that come from?

  Her eyes were staring at me intently now. "Your wife?"

  I could have said I was joking, but you know what? Fuck that. "My wife," I repeated.

  I felt her nails tickling my back, but she soon smiled. "Keep that thought for when you meet my family. It will show them you've something of a Nord in you. My father especially."

  Her father? I suddenly imagined some monster of a man even bigger than her staring down at me like an insect. I didn't know why it only hit me then. Obviously she would have parents.

  "Don't get scared now," she teased. "You made a promise, husband."

  I might have argued, but she had already smothered my face into her bosom like I loved, and soon enough I heard her snoring softly.

  Retreating to my tower, I tried to remind myself that not one but two Daedric Princes had called me an abomination. What did I have to fear?

  That's right…

  The next day had an armed and armored Lydia waking us up to tell us it was time.

  She made for a more intimidating sight than in the casual clothes I had seen her until then, and Skadi followed her example, donning her quote-unquote armor again. And as I put on my furs again, I noticed that the rips and tears in it had been patched up, which I probably had to thank my fussy housecarl for.

  Back in the hall, Bright-Like-Dawn must have made it back to Dragonsreach as she was already scarfing down what looked like meat and mushrooms, and the jarl soon said a few words to some cheers from those there. I even had a few approach me to wish me luck.

  I made a mental note to ask Lydia more about thanes. Would be just my luck to cause a diplomatic incident by accident somehow…

  As we descended down from Dragonsreach, we were met by seven of the Companions, Aela and Vilkas at the front. He happily clasped my arm and informed me they had brought mead, an entire barrel of the stuff resting on his hulking brother's shoulder.

  They would have brought more if Kodlak wasn't already annoyed with them, apparently.

  We left Whiterun for Bleak Falls Barrow in good spirits, and it wasn't long until I found out that most of them wanted to fight me. And one another. They probably would have even asked Bright-Like-Dawn if she wasn't the tiny lizard that she was.

  Still, it helped keep us on our toes, and Skadi was happy, what with her sitting pretty at the top of the pecking order.

  Once we reached the mountain and began to traverse the steep pass, the snows grew deeper and thicker, until Aela raised a hand, her red hair speckled with white. "The watchtower."

  I squinted through the snow, seeing it as well.

  "More than twice our number, maybe," she continued as she walked ahead and sniffed at the air.

  I nervously stepped forward myself at her words. "Let me try something."

  They watched as I raised my palm, beginning to gather flames. I had finished eating all the books, and this was something I'd been wanting to try.

  It was beginning to look like a miniature sun as I condensed more and more flames into it, and I had to down a potion with how much magicka it was costing me.

  Finally, it was finished, so hot that it was melting the snow around me, my skin even feeling raw.

  I let it fly when it became unbearable, the ball of red and orange and yellow streaking across the white snows. It struck the watchtower like a missile or an artillery shell, a sound like thunder breaking the quiet as flames splashed every which way.

  The sounds of screams and panicked shouts quickly followed, and I saw two of their number throw themselves out of the watchtower into the snow, completely covered in flames. Others streamed outside.

  Instead of horror, someone behind me whistled at the sight instead.

  "BY YSGRAMOR'S STONES, LET'S GO SAY HELLO!" Vilkas crowed in a rumbling shout.

  We must have made for an impressive sight charging up the mountain.