Chapter 5: We Are Lifelong Friends

  I started liking Lin Qiao from high school, and after Lin Qiao and Su Qi got together, I was influenced by the early praise of third parties by Aunt Qiong Yao. I also thought about whether to go all out and fight for it. But at that time, I was only 17 years old and had no experience as a third party. Moreover, the internet was not as popular as it is today, and I couldn't find a successful predecessor on BBS to guide me through the process. My chances of winning seemed so slim. But I was motivated by the love in my heart, and I really wanted to make this work. After thinking about it for a long time, I decided to go home and ask my all-knowing grandmother for advice. When my grandmother found out about this, she was extremely angry: "I taught you so many Qiong Yao love stories just to tell you that being a third party is not acceptable. Destroying someone's marriage is doomed to have no good ending. Look at the new moon princess, didn't she die in the end? Humph, she deserved it. Yan Song, I'm telling you, if you really go and destroy someone's relationship, I'll kill you."

  At that time, my grandmother was already sixty-two years old, but she was still vigorous and well-preserved. I was afraid of being beaten to death by her, so I had to try to strangle the thoughts about Lin Qiao in the cradle. But this was a really hard job, every time I thought I had succeeded in not liking Lin Qiao anymore, he would appear in front of me again, using an ice cream cone or a pack of dried orange peel to easily destroy all my defenses. I knew he just brought it for Su Qi when buying snacks, but there was no way to resist the warmth and kindness that flowed out unintentionally towards his friends.

  Lin Qiao and Su Qi's pairing was a foregone conclusion. At that time, our national key high school, under the influence of market economy, mostly had pairings of handsome boys with beautiful girls, which made the knowledgeable people in the school feel that such a cultural environment had raped the public aesthetics, and they all shook their heads and sighed. Lin Qiao and Su Qi's combination, however, made them see the dawn of the counterattack of public aesthetics, and everyone was overjoyed.

  So the reality is, I like Lin Qiao, and Lin Qiao and Su Qi like each other. If I were to become a third party and intervene between Lin Qiao and Su Qi, not only would my grandmother kill me, but also the entire school of 5,000 teachers and students would jointly scold and despise me. The pressure is so great that I was entangled for half a semester before finally letting go, deciding to distance myself from Lin Qiao and Su Qi in order to avoid one day losing control of myself and sadly becoming a third party.

  But cruelly, Lin Qiao didn't want to pull away from me.

  "After refusing his invitation to go home together for a whole week, he finally lost his temper: 'When did you become so nagging? I ask you to go back together, just go back together, what's the fuss about.'"

  Outside the window was a dark sky. Su Qi stood at the classroom door, casually trimming her fingernails.

  I chuckled and said, "Isn't this because I don't want to be a third wheel for you two?"

  Lin Qiao said: "It's late after school in winter, and you're renting a house outside alone. I'm worried about you going home by yourself, and Su Qi is also worried."

  Su Qi smiled and held Lin Qiao's arm: "Right, sending you back home is the same as us two going on a date. Song Song, if you don't leave now, you'll delay our movie time."

  Lin Qiao turned her head and smiled at her.

  I picked up my school bag and said: "Alright then, since you two want to be like Lei Feng so much, I'll give you the chance."

  Su Qi wrapped her arms around Lin Qiao's waist and sat on the back seat of the bicycle, wearing a white down jacket and black long hair, with two shallow dimples when she smiled. At that time, I thought that what was said on TV about Mao Ning and Yang Yunying being a golden boy and jade girl, objectively speaking, Lin Qiao and Su Qi were not bad either.

  The road home is really long.

  I was forced to be tormented by Lin Qiao and Su Qi for another semester.

  In the morning, I have to be with them on the way to school. At noon, I have to be with them during lunch. In the afternoon, after school is dismissed, I still have to be with them. This quickly turned me into a good student who loves attending classes and going to the bathroom. Because as soon as we enter the classroom, they don't need me to accompany them except when they are having class or using the restroom.

  But soon after, just a few days after China's accession to the WTO, I lost my precious time of freedom to go to the toilet, because Su Qi was delighted to discover that she and I belonged to the same sex, and we could hold hands together to go to the same toilet.

  I think maybe one day they'll invite me to watch when they open a room, and for the three years of high school, whether or not they actually went to open a room is still an unsolved mystery. Classmates all thought I was a wet blanket, but at the same time they were also very puzzled - as a wet blanket, I could get along with the male and female leads so harmoniously, I'm really a harmonious wet blanket.

  In this whole semester of painful trials, my soul has been sublimated.

  At first, even seeing them hold hands would make me feel suffocated for a whole day, and I even thought about poisoning Su Qi's lunchbox. But by the end of the semester, I was able to sit aside and keep watch while they hugged and kissed.

  Lin Qiao's loyalty and infatuation with Su Qi is a gentle repression of the despicable thoughts I've been hiding in my heart. He is such an unyielding good boyfriend. With my emotions invested in him, the mountains and rivers seem dull, and I can shave my head and become a monk, escaping into emptiness.

  At that time, I also thought that I got along with Su Qi and Lin Qiao earlier than him. At that time when he didn't even know which group or row Su Qi was sitting in, I had so many opportunities to get close to her, but in the end it turned out like this. All I can say is: fate is mysterious and unpredictable.

  I write his name on my diary, Lin Qiao, Lin Qiao, Lin Qiao. The cursive script represents that he is irritable today, the clerical script represents that he is calm today, the running script represents that he is happy today, and the regular script represents that he is silent today. I know well that in this era where even a condom may not be safe, a locked diary is also not as reliable as people imagine it to be. But with emotions overflowing, it's hard to find an outlet, so I can only write his name repeatedly on my diary, Lin Qiao, Lin Qiao, Lin Qiao. Before long, I mastered all the ways of writing "Lin Qiao" from the calligraphy book by Pang Zhonghua, but unfortunately, this is a skill that can never be shown to others.

  In the second semester of high school, this diary filled with Lin Qiao's name was finally lost by me. After being passed around several times, it eventually fell into Su Qi's hands. The classmate who picked up the diary had a very simple idea: after breaking open the small lock on the book, he found that every entry in the diary was written with Lin Qiao's name, so he naturally assumed it belonged to Su Qi. Coincidentally, he was also very honest and immediately came to our classroom to return the diary to her.

  I came back from the teaching and research office, just to see Su Qi sitting in my seat with a pale face, holding my diary, the lock had been knocked open.

  At that time I thought, well, this day has finally come, you know, knowing is to stay far away from me, I don't want to suffer this sin anymore.

  Su Qi is a girl who loves English, and she loves English not because Lin Qiao is the representative of the English department, but because she truly loves it from the bottom of her heart. She slammed her diary on my desk and said: "Yan Song, wait for me under the ginkgo tree behind threeteagbuilding before lunch self-study."

  I said: "Okay." Thought for a moment and then asked, "What is threeteagbuilding?"

  She said: "The third teaching building."

  "I said, 'Oh, that's not the Three Teag Building, it's the Third Teag Building. And some time ago, Mrs. Zhou Cuihua, a wealthy woman who made her fortune selling pickled cucumbers, donated money to renovate it. The principal has already reported to the education department and got approval to rename it as Cui Hua Teaching Building, also known as Cui Hua Building.'"

  Su Qi glared at me.

  Since we've already won the first round, there's no need to pursue further, so I quickly said: "Anyway, it's under that silver ginkgo tree behind that building, right?"

  Su Qi glared at me again, and the class bell rang out loudly in her angry glare.

  The two ginkgo trees behind the Cuifang Building have lost all their leaves under the ravages of severe winter, and they stand bare to each other. If trees were also divided into males and females, and these two trees happened to be one male and one female, it would be a particularly embarrassing thing.

  Su Qi said: "Yan Song, is that diary yours?"

  I said: "I..."

  She said: "I thought you were an exception, but I didn't expect that even you would be infatuated with Lin Qiao's beauty."

  I said: "I..."

  She said: "No, this is not true."

  I said: "I..."

  She said: "Tell me, that diary isn't yours, and you don't like Lin Qiao."

  I said: "I..."

  She covered her ears: "I don't want to listen, I don't want to listen. You must be cheating me, you're my and Lin Qiao's best friend."

  "I closed my eyes in pain and said: 'Classmate, can't you wait for me to finish speaking before expressing your opinion?'"

  Now that I think about it, at the time I could have completely denied it, because there was no record of "Luo Yan Song" in my diary. But in fact, I was so eager to admit, brave enough to admit and even added fuel to the fire by admitting, saying: "Su Qi, I've liked Lin Qiao for seven months and twenty-one days, so don't be foolish from now on. Lin Qiao let me follow you guys, in order to please him, you should also let me follow as a virtuous wife and good mother. I am indeed Lin Qiao's good friend, but our friendship is still lacking, you don't quite like me either, I can actually see that too. The three of us have such a relationship, sticking together every day, what if I steal your thunder in the future?"

  She was stunned for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed, and she sneered: "You also overestimate yourself, do you think you can shake my foundation just because of you?"

  I also think that I couldn't shake her foundation, but losing a battle doesn't mean losing the war. For the sake of saving face, I forced myself to perk up and said: "It's hard to say."

  Her face turned red and white, and she sneered: "As expected, it's the kind of thing that can be said by someone who had a child at 16 or 17. How shameless. If you want to try to seduce me, you need to have some capital. What capital do you have? Just because you were 16 or 17 and didn't know who you had a wild child with?"

  So love is really something, it can even turn a long-term language-challenged and illogical girl into a debate expert in an instant.

  She sneered and said: "What if I say that Lin Qiao is the father of my son?"

  Su Qi's face turned green and she gritted her teeth after a while, saying: "Yan Song, you can eat whatever you want, but you can't just say whatever you want."

  I said: "Haha, I was indeed talking nonsense."

  She was defeated by my shamelessness and ran away in tears, trampling on the withered wild grass of winter.

  I and Su Qi's grudge was formed like this. I originally thought that letting her know I had a crush on her boyfriend would give her some sense of crisis, and she would quickly take Lin Qiao away from me. But she acted as if nothing had happened, the only change being that she no longer invited me to go to the bathroom with her.

  Not long after, it was rumored in the class that a junior in high school was crazily pursuing Su Qi and trying to drive a wedge between Lin Su's feelings. Although this junior is not as good-looking as Lin Qiao, he is also a handsome guy with a strong build, and public opinion thinks that even if Su Qi leaves Lin Qiao and is with this junior, it doesn't count as compromising with the aesthetics of the masses. Therefore, in this obvious third-party intervention scandal, public opinion was generally speechless.

  Su Qi did not explicitly reject her junior's pursuit. Every morning after early self-study, a rose would be delivered to her seat. Careful classmates analyzed the glass paper wrapping the roses and found that they were not picked from the school flower bed, but bought with RMB in a flower shop. They were moved by his infatuation, and public opinion gradually leaned towards this muscular junior.

  Lin Qiao still attends his classes and plays basketball, eats my pork for lunch, and still remembers to send me home after school every day. It's just that Su Qi is no longer involved in these activities.

  I said: "What's going on between you and Su Qi?"

  He shot a three-pointer, turned around and stretched out his hand. I tossed him a bottle of mineral water. He took it and tilted his head back to take a big gulp. He furrowed his brow slightly and said, "Nothing's wrong, we're just in a cold war."

  I said: "What's all this, you'd better hurry up and resume diplomatic relations, or I'll be stuck in the middle feeling awkward."

  "He raised an eyebrow and said: 'What did you hear? That Su Qi and I have already broken up, and now I'm with you?'"

  I chuckled and said, "You're quite well-informed, aren't you?"

  He put the basketball in his hand and turned it around, smiling: "Yan Song, we are lifelong friends, you won't distance yourself from me because of these two rumors, will you?"

  Under the blue sky and white clouds, he said, "Yan Song, we are friends for life."

  I bitterly laughed: "How is it possible? You said so yourself, we are lifelong friends."

  At that moment, looking at this handsome young man in front of me who was sweating profusely, I had a very violent thought, I wanted to slap him to death.

  On Saturday evening, Lin Qiao called and said that the movie tickets issued by his dad's unit were about to expire. Coincidentally, a new film had just been released, and he wanted to find someone to go with on Sunday.

  I said: "This won't do, I'm quite busy."

  He said: "What's keeping you busy?"

  "I'm busy with everything."

  "He said: 'It's settled then, tomorrow afternoon at 2 o'clock, I'll come directly to your home to find you.'"

  The phone rang again and no one answered.

  He doesn't know that although I'm not afraid of rumors, I'm afraid of losing control of my own heart.

  How blissful it is for an ignorant person, with just a few casual words, they can completely destroy someone's defense line, truly more powerful than a missile.

  Since this movie is inevitable, I immediately adjusted my mentality and suddenly felt that as Lin Qiao's secret admirer, being able to watch a movie with him alone in my lifetime was actually very luxurious. There are so many girls in the brother school who have a crush on him, most of whom can only sigh at his expensive photos, but I can gaze at the real him, isn't this worth cherishing? This is too worth cherishing!

  I rummaged through the boxes and found a thick woolen dress that my grandmother had given me when I was full moon, put it on and walked around outside for a circle, feeling a bit cold, and added a down jacket on the outside, but the oversized down jacket immediately stole the show, covering up the figure of the dress. I held my arms and hesitated for a while, when Lin Qiao knocked on the door, I made up my mind at once, and took off the down jacket in one go.

  Linqiao, wearing a coat, stood at the door and stared blankly, looking me up and down before saying, "Aren't you cold?"

  I rubbed the goosebumps on my neck and said, "It's not cold."

  It was unexpected to run into Su Qi and the junior who had a crush on her at the entrance of the cinema. Su Qi was holding a huge bucket of popcorn in her arms, while the junior was talking to her with his head down. I thought the junior was really generous with his money, and immediately went to look at Lin Qiao's expression. Lin Qiao's expression was very stiff.

  Perhaps it was a telepathic response between lovers, and Su Qi, who should have turned left to enter the cinema, suddenly took a step back, completely turning around to face us. I remembered passing by a public toilet earlier, so she probably wanted to use the restroom before the movie started.

  She immediately saw us, extremely shocked, and the popcorn in her arms fell to the ground with a rustling sound. A middle-aged woman passing by sighed emotionally: "Oh my, what a waste."

  Su Qi's body shook with rage: "You, you..."

  Lin Qiao suddenly grasped my hand and coldly laughed: "What's wrong with us?"

  Su Qi stared at my and Lin Qiao's clasped right hands in disbelief, unable to speak for a long time, her eyes reddening with suppressed emotions. Her junior brother was anxious beside her, scratching his ears and cheeks, while Lin Qiao remained unmoved.

  Su Qi finally burst into tears, choking with sobs: "Lin Qiao I hate you to death." After finishing, she turned around and ran towards the stairs. Lin Qiao stiffened for a moment, then suddenly flung off my hand and chased after her in big strides.

  He finally caught up with her at the stairs and held her tightly in his arms. She cried and kicked hard in his embrace. Years later, whenever I watch the scene of the male and female leads reuniting after a misunderstanding in Qiong Yao's TV series, I always feel an uncanny sense of familiarity, because art indeed comes from life.

  "Go find Yan Song, go find Yan Song. You and she can hold hands and watch a movie together. What are you doing coming to bother me?"

  "Be calm, you know I have nothing with Yan Song, be obedient and don't be willful."

  Su Qi raised her head from Lin Qiao's shoulder and glanced at me.

  Younger brother came over and fiercely trampled on the popcorn on the ground, resentfully saying: "Why do I feel like I've been played?"

  "I said: 'Young man, you just found out, huh.'"

  He gave me a white eye: "What's so proud of you, didn't you get fooled too?"

  I said: "Yes, we've all been fooled."

  After a long time, Zhou Yueyue cried and asked me with a tear-stained face: "Song Song, how come you've never cried before? Don't you have tear glands?"

  I said: "You don't have tear glands, your whole family doesn't have tear glands."

  It's actually quite simple for Yuan Yuan not to cry out loud.

  First step, lift your head.

  The second step, close your eyes.

  So tears all flowed into the heart.

  No one can see your weakness; they will think you are just a proud peacock.