Chapter 3

  The cold current is rolling in, winter has arrived.

  My mentor went to a farmhouse on Sunday to play mahjong and caught a cold because he wore too little. He took in four clever and resourceful disciples, three of whom were good at playing mahjong and were all arranged to go to the hospital to accompany him. The only one who didn't know how to play mahjong was assigned to help him teach modern Chinese to freshmen. That unlucky guy is me. This story deeply educated us that in this society where you can know people's faces but not their hearts, learning to play mahjong is very important.

  It was already 6:40 when I got back from teaching at the new campus.

  A young man stood beside the newly repaired streetlight at the foot of the residential building, holding a manuscript paper in his left hand and a loudspeaker in his right. He was reciting an English poem with great passion and emotion, his voice amplified infinitely by the speaker. Occasionally, beer bottles would be thrown from above, landing not far away with a loud crash, accompanied by curses: "Damn it, what's all the noise about? Can't you see I'm watching The Legend of the White Snake?"

  Although the situation was so severe, this young man who recited English poems remained unmoved, his expression always solemn and dignified.

  I stood by and listened for a while without understanding, so I walked over to ask him what he was reciting. The young man turned around with a melancholic smile: "I'm confessing my love to the girl I adore, Shelley's 'see, the mountains kiss high heaven, and the waves caress another shore.' Isn't it romantic?"

  I said: "Romantic, romantic."

  He smiled wistfully again: "If a stranger thinks it's romantic, why doesn't the girl I love give me any response at all?"

  I said: "Perhaps your beloved girl didn't understand."

  He indignantly said: "Don't you dare insult Zhou Yueyue, Zhou Yueyue is the most introspective girl I've ever seen, I firmly believe she can recite all of Shelley's poems by heart, not only can she recite Shelley's, but also Keats', Wordsworth's, and..."

  I didn't wait for him to finish speaking and turned around to go upstairs.

  Zhou Yueyue was tightly hugging Yan Lang's arm on the sofa in our home, with a very frightened expression. Yan Lang was calmly watching the windmill.

  I said: "Zhou Yueyue, what's wrong with you?"

  Zhou Yueyue shivered and said: "When you passed by downstairs, did you see a man holding a trumpet? Ah, he's a psycho, he told me he liked me this afternoon at school, I ignored him, I guess he's taking revenge on me, he took a trumpet and started shouting from 6 o'clock, bullying me for not understanding Xinjiang dialect, thinking I didn't know he was scolding me in their local language."

  I stood at the door for a while and said, "He's not speaking Xinjiang dialect, he's speaking English."

  For the next three days, Zhou Yueyue was pursued by that young man who firmly believed she had a lot of connotation in school. On the fourth morning, she sent me a text message saying that she wanted to find an assassin to get rid of him. I said you're being too rash, why not seriously find a boyfriend first and thoroughly dash that young man's infatuation with her? If this still can't make him give up, it's not too late to find an assassin to deliver the final blow. Zhou Yueyue thought what I said made sense.

  Zhou Yueyue's uncle's efficiency is really amazing, three hours after I sent her that text message, her uncle immediately arranged for her to meet a young man of suitable age for a blind date, and the time was set at 8 o'clock in the evening. At one point, I suspected that Zhou Yueyue's uncle was specialized in matchmaking. Zhou Yueyue said, no, my uncle is a mid-level cadre in a state-owned enterprise, his work is very serious and proper. I said, oh, it seems so, I heard that middle-ranking cadres in state-owned enterprises, apart from playing cards, like to introduce people to each other the most, indeed, the reputation is well-deserved.

  I had a premonition that Zhou Yue would drag me into this blind date, and the fact that she had been on five blind dates and all of them were gay made her completely lose confidence in her own judgment. My premonition soon became a reality, and she did drag me along, but what I didn't understand was why she insisted on dragging Yan Lang along as well.

  He said: "That's because men and women have fundamentally different perspectives, I need to synthesize the opinions of both of you in order to get the most objective result."

  I have to point out a cruel fact: "Yan Lang is still just a child, expecting him to give you a man's perspective on things is no more realistic than expecting Sri Lanka and Mauritius to jointly conquer the United States."

  "Then don't come anymore," Zhou Yue said with a sigh, turning her head to Yan Lang, "The steak isn't that great anyway."

  Yan Lang glared at her angrily: "You don't keep your word, I'll curse you to buy instant noodles without seasoning packets for the rest of your life."

  It's probably because Yan Lang's threat was too realistic that Zhou Yue became more and more afraid, saying: "Okay okay, you'd better come with us."

  I asked Zhou Yueyue, aren't you worried that when the time comes, your blind date object won't take a liking to you but instead take a liking to me? It's always portrayed this way on TV, where the female lead accompanies her friend to meet the male lead. Although the female lead's friend is much more beautiful than the female lead herself, the male lead remains completely unmoved by her beauty, seeing right through to the female lead's pure and kind inner self with just one glance, and from then on becomes infatuated with her to the point of being willing to go through thick and thin for her.

  He said, "Well, since you're all male leads, it's either a wealthy family or a nouveau riche. You take down the male lead first, then introduce me to his wealthy or nouveau riche brothers. Think about it, our future is bright!"

  I thought for a moment and said: "I'll still wear sunglasses tonight."

  That night, I wore a pair of sunglasses. Wearing the sunglasses and holding Yan Lang's hand, I followed Zhou Yue to the entrance of C City's most expensive Western restaurant at 19:50 Beijing time.

  Zhou Yu stopped in front of the Western restaurant's door for a while, admiring it and saying: "Not bad, very stylish."

  I think Zhou Yue's reason for thinking this restaurant has style is mainly because it has a foreign name. In this era of worshipping foreigners, anything that doesn't have Chinese characters is considered stylish. For example, if your good friend tells you that tonight her boyfriend took her to "smallredhotel" for dinner, you'll definitely think, wow, so high-end, so stylish. Although in reality, her boyfriend actually took her to "Little Red Food Stall" and they had a stir-fry with garlic sprouts...

  Zhou Yue waved her hand: "Let's go in." I and Yan Lang followed her in.

  The waiter led us to the designated table, and the young man who was destined to be matched with Zhou Yueyue hastily stood up, stretched out his hand and smiled: "Which of you two is Miss Zhou?"

  Zhou Yue was stunned.

  Zhou Yue couldn't help but be stunned, because the few strands of shiny black hair that passed through the head of this young man made us all think we had seen San Mao, who was reborn in New China.

  Zhou Yue's uncle was indeed very fair, since he introduced me to a leather ball version of Zhu Yuanzhang, he would also introduce Zhou Yue to a vicissitudes-type San Mao.

  I can see that Zhou Yue is about to make a run for it, and Yan Lang has also noticed, because he immediately curled up on the ground, pretending to be in pain and said: "Mom, my tummy hurts."

  Zhou Yue got into character faster than me, immediately picking up Yan Lang and sprinting out of the dining hall. I had no choice but to follow suit and run after them.

  At the entrance, someone was getting out of a taxi. Zhou Yue rushed over recklessly, I turned my head to see that the young man didn't follow her out, just as I wanted to call her back, she got out of the car again and pushed me onto the back seat with both hands, then ran to sit next to the driver in the front.

  I said: "Zhou Yueyue, what's wrong with you? Can't you see that I'm pretending to be ill to help you out of this situation?"

  Yan Lang's head was placed on my thigh, and he weakly said: "Mom, I'm not faking it, my stomach really hurts."

  Zhou Yue quickly turned her head and added: "If it's going to happen, it'll happen. Maybe it's acute appendicitis."

  "My mind went blank and I stammered: 'Master, can you drive faster? We need to go to T University Hospital.'"

  Master said: "Alright, I know a shortcut with few people, hold the kid tightly, and I'll speed over in 10 minutes."

  Disaster struck when Master just turned onto this sparsely populated shortcut, his car suddenly had a blowout.

  The road was deserted, and so were the taxis. Yan Lang's face turned white with pain as he clutched my sweater tightly. Zhou Yueyue and the enthusiastic driver turned back to hail a cab on the main road, while I took off my high heels and threw them aside, preparing to carry Yan Lang to the hospital first.

  Yan Lang closed his eyes, his eyelashes trembling violently. My heart was racing as I kissed him on the forehead: "Son, hold on a bit, Mom's carrying you, we'll be at the hospital soon."

  A vast, dark sky loomed ahead, the already weak streetlights were further weakened by the oppressive darkness, casting a faint yellow glow that stretched out a few fragmented shadows on the road. The road wound its way forward, seemingly endless.

  Suddenly a strong beam of light flashed over, and I reflexively yielded to the side of the road. A silver Audi R8 screeched to a halt beside me.

  I don't know much about cars, and I thought to myself that maybe this is another flat tire. So I pushed the luggage rack on my back upwards a bit and continued rushing to the hospital. The sound of opening car doors came from behind me, and I thought that indeed it was another flat tire. Even high-end cars have their day of getting a flat tire; truly, man's plans are not as good as heaven's plans.

  I thought so and walked two steps, but suddenly felt a looseness on my back, followed by a low male voice saying, "What's wrong?"

  I was so startled that I quickly turned back, and Yan Lang was being taken away by a man who hugged him in his arms.

  I was a bit dazed, and with the light from the car headlights and the faint streetlights by the road, the man's facial features were clearly visible, so I recognized him at a glance as a celebrity. I had seen him once on TV, once in a magazine, and once at a blind date dinner. Because he was the only living celebrity I had ever met, I remembered him very vividly. Zhou Yueyue's idol, Yan Lang's rival, Qin Mo.