Chapter 41

  Situ Xuan was fully dressed, while Yao Qiyun was still sitting there with her clothes in disarray. She stretched out her index finger to wipe the remaining lip gloss from his lips, a gesture that seemed intimate but was actually just because she hated leaving her own lip gloss on him.

  He said, Ah Wei, actually I have always loved you.

  It wasn't until the very end that Yao Qiyun said something like this.

  But he didn't know that what had supported Situ Xuan through the most desperate days was precisely his hatred for him.

  Stranded alone in that hot and humid Southeast Asian country, waiting for three weeks without any news; working as a miscellaneous worker in her elderly "husband's" Chinese store, worrying about the immigration bureau's temporary inspections every day, thinking that she would spend the rest of her life like this; having no identity, no relatives to rely on, language barriers, dwindling savings, and an uncertain future; after being seriously ill and not even daring to go to the hospital, relying solely on her resistance to get through it... She told herself that she couldn't give up, the path was chosen by herself, even if it was a self-inflicted suffering, she had to walk to the end with her eyes closed. She wanted to live a good life, better than Yao Qiyun, only then could she prove that her decision to escape without hesitation wasn't a complete mistake.

  Yao Qiyun grasped her hand and held it against his lips. "If you don't want to stay, I can also go with you."

  Situ Xuan burst out laughing as if he had heard a fantastical tale from a far-off land.

  "Don't you believe me? Can I follow you?" Yao Qiyun said anxiously. It's not that she didn't believe him, he knew it was difficult, but if there was only this one chance, he wouldn't be able to make up his mind without her.

  Situ Xuan withdrew his hand, "I believe you, you can leave or stay, but you and I won't be 'together' again."

  He lifted his head, as if he had made a great effort to understand the meaning of her words, and was making a dying effort.

  "Tell me exactly what you want in one sentence. Don't say it's impossible."

  She remembered that she had asked him like this at first too.

  "Seven years ago, I begged you to believe me in tears, but when you walked away with Tan Shaocheng in front of me, did you ever give me a chance? Yao Qiyun, now you ask me what I want, and I'll tell you. Unless time flows backwards, and you go back to seven years ago to find that stupid girl Situ Xuan, only she would be waiting for you behind the 'back of time'. The question is, can you go back?"

  He certainly can't go back, if people could really move freely through time and space, he wouldn't still be here now.

  He remembered a day five years ago, around dinner time, Xie Yu suddenly called home for the first time, and it was his mother who answered. The call lasted less than three minutes, and after hanging up, Xie Shaoping sat by the tea table for a long time. From knowing whose call it was, Yao Qiyun held her breath and didn't dare move, seeing Xie Jiuyi only knew how to smoke silently with his head down, and couldn't care about anything else, anxiously asking what Xie Yu had said on the phone.

  Xue Shaoping didn't repeat much of the conversation's details, she forced a smile and said: "Nothing was said, just to let us know that she is at least still alive in this world."

  What Yao Qiyun really cared about was whether Situ Xuan had mentioned him in those three minutes.

  But he didn't dare ask, because he knew there wouldn't be any.

  That night, Mr. and Mrs. Szeto retired to their room early. Yao Qiyun was frantic with anxiety as he inquired about the phone call's area code, and finally determined which corner of the globe she was on. He had even made up his mind to fly over at the fastest speed possible, no matter what, to find her and bring her back.

  He dialed the number again, holding onto a glimmer of hope that it wasn't a public phone. Unexpectedly, as soon as the call connected, he immediately heard that voice which had never faded from his mind, and he could hardly believe his luck.

  Situ Xuan hung up the phone quickly after realizing it was him calling. Yao Qiyun kept calling, and finally, one time she didn't hang up again. He mustered up his courage to say his regrets and longing, saying that he and Tan Shaocheng had tried before, just like how he tried to forget her, but couldn't, always falling short by a little bit... He stuttered and spoke incessantly, vowing not to lie to himself again, as if wanting to finish a lifetime's worth of words before Situ Xuan lost his patience. He said a lot, a lot, and from start to finish, Situ Xuan didn't interrupt him, with only faint noise and footsteps coming from the other end of the phone. Until a young man's voice came on, telling Yao Qiyun that he was Situ Xuan's neighbor, and after Situ Xuan answered the phone, he put down the receiver and went out. He was afraid that Yao Qiyun's sudden silence was because she didn't understand his words, so he repeated himself in standard Mandarin again.

  From then on, Yao Qiyun lost the courage to look for her. She let him speak, but every word he said was of no interest to her.

  The aunt, who had been silently witnessing the whole process at the kitchen door, was wiping her hands on her apron. She looked a bit sorrowful. "If I had known you were going to be so infatuated, I would rather not have let her go in the first place."

  Yao Qiyun loosened his clenched fist, this was his family member, he couldn't do anything to her and shouldn't vent his despair and anger on others. He pointed at the door and only said one word to the pale Yao aunt: "Get out!"

  He didn't mention the phone call to anyone, including the Situ family. Not long after, under his insistence, Aunt Yao returned home and reunited with her family. Yao Qiyun also moved out of the Situ's house, although Mr. and Mrs. Situ had said that from now on they would only have one son. Only on Fridays would he come back to this side of the house for dinner, every time coinciding with Situ Yue's routine phone call to ask about his parents, but he never exchanged a word with her again.

  He should have come to his senses long ago, but the reunion was too provocative, and when she was alive in front of him, he thought there was still a chance to start again. In fact, the person standing in front of him was no longer his "Ayu", only he was still obsessed with past events, the real Sutu Yu had long since walked away from home that day.

  Yao Qiyun returned to the real world and stood up indifferently to tidy herself.

  "I should get going. Your mom's back pain flared up badly last night, I promised to buy her some medicine on the way back, and tomorrow morning there's a meeting at the company. Please pass along my congratulations to Wu Jiang for his new marriage."

  Situ Xue followed Yao Qiyun out, and almost got knocked over at the entrance of the restroom. The girl was someone Situ Xue knew, both a bridesmaid tonight and someone Linxi had been wanting to meet for a long time. The girl's steps were light and floating, seemingly having drunk quite a bit, her eyes were red, clearly having cried, but she didn't seem to have time to be sad now, only staring blankly and pointing in the direction Yao Qiyun just walked out of, saying stupidly: "I'm not mistaken, is this the women's restroom?"

  Situ Xuan helped her up and smiled: "Falling down in the ladies' room is just as embarrassing, when you've had too much to drink, walk a bit slower."

  The banquet was nearing its end, and more than half of the guests had left. ABC's younger brother rushed back from outside, he had specifically gone to buy a new pair of shoes for Sutu Yue. Sutu Yue didn't want to disappoint his good intentions, so he graciously accepted them, tried them on, and surprisingly they fit perfectly, so he thanked him repeatedly.

  Lin Jing seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when she saw Si Tu Xuan, and picked up her own coat to stand up. "If you didn't come back I thought someone kidnapped you in the restroom. I'll go send someone off first, or else you wait here for a bit, I'll come back to send you back to the hotel."

  Situ Xuan smiled with ill intent, a look of 'don't think I don't know what you're thinking' on her face. She said: "Hurry up and go, do whatever it is you need to do, just don't come back."

  Lin Jing also stopped being polite and smiled: "The plane is the day after tomorrow, I'll see you off then."

  After Lin Jing walked away, Si Tu Jue and ABC's younger brother sat back in their original seats and chatted for a while. Xiao Gen and San Pi, who were about to leave, also said goodbye to Si Tu Jue as they passed by his table. Si Tu Jue looked over at their table, but everyone had already dispersed.

  She turned her head and said "goodbye" to them, just in time to see San Pi poking Xiao Gen with his hand. Xiao Gen reacted slowly, but before he could even cry out in pain, Si Tu Jue immediately understood the meaning of San Pi's action - he saw a person.

  Tan Shaocheng also attended the wedding banquet.

  Tan Shaocheng got up from her seat and walked towards the main entrance of the banquet hall, while the bride who had just sent off the bridesmaid was returning alone in that direction. Wu Jiang was still being dragged by a group of colleagues to drink, and Si Tuyue quickly walked towards them.

  "Ruan Ruan." She called out to the bride from afar.

  Ruan Ruan turned her head with a smile and walked towards Sito Ke's direction.

  Situ Xuan also stepped forward, pulling Ruan Ruan, and with an unbiased body, she separated Tan Shaocheng who had already approached.

  "Situ, I thought you had something urgent and left early." Ruan Ruan said, holding up the hem of her dress.

  "I'm not in a hurry, I came all the way back for your wedding, how can I leave early?" Situ Xuan pointed towards Wu Jiang's direction, "I just saw the groom looking for you, go quickly."

  Ruan Ruan was taken aback, glanced at the back of Si Tu Jue's head, and saw Tan Shao Cheng standing beside him with a smile. She also returned him a polite smile, and walked towards her new husband with gentle steps.

  "You don't have to be so tense, I just wanted to congratulate the bride in person." Tan Shaochen saw Ruan Ruan off and said softly to Situ Xue.

  "Your 'blessings' are enough for Wu Jiang, such a heavy gift, no one can accept it a second time." Si Tu Xuan disagreed.

  "I showed those things to Wu Jiang, not to ruin anyone's happiness, but because I think he has the right to know before marriage."

  "Who do you think you are, when did it become your turn to grant him rights?"

  "Situ Xuan, I don't want to quarrel with you. We've argued for so many years, it's enough already. Besides, there's no need for that now." Tan Shaochen turned her head and beckoned with her hand. After a while, a man walked out of the crowd and stood beside her.

  "Just as I was about to introduce you, this is my fiancé Fu Zhi Shi." She took the man's hand, "Zhi Shi, this is my university classmate, surname Sutu."

  The man was quite tall, with a forty-year-old appearance, slightly chubby, and occasionally wiped the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief in the comfortably warm hall. His looks were not outstanding, even somewhat mediocre, but his demeanor was very proper, after hearing Tan Shaocity's introduction, he nodded slightly at Sutu Xuan, with a kind of arrogance and pride that only those who have been in high positions for many years possess, thinking back to the scene where several people surrounded him in the center of conversation earlier, Sutu Xuan had no doubt that Tan Shaocity had finally found her "good man".

  "Mr. Fu really has an eye for it, you two look very compatible." Ci Tu Jue flattered.

  Tan Shaocheng pretended not to understand the implication of her words and smiled lightly: "We're all in the same line of work, can't avoid interacting with each other. Sutu, have I ever told you that at the time he was..."

  "Is Mr. Fu the descendant of Fu Xuecheng's generation? And who is the CEO?" asked Situ Xin, taking over the conversation.

  Tan Shaocheng raised an eyebrow, with a hint of surprise, "I don't even remember saying that. Or... do you know each other?"

  Fu Jintai looked at Sutu Xuan for a while, his eyes still confused.

  Situ Xuan smiled and explained: "Mr. Fu certainly doesn't know me, but the reputation of the Fu family is well-known outside, and Jing Shu also told me about their family's ranking method - Xue, Chong, Jing, Zhi, Yi, didn't I remember correctly?"

  As soon as these words came out, even Fu Zhi's face changed color, the sweat beads on his head became denser, and his eyes watching Situ Xuan also added a few more cautious glances.

  "Miss Sze originally knew my seventh uncle."

  "Just an ordinary friend, but over the years abroad, I have to thank him for taking care of me everywhere. Before returning home, I had dinner with him once, and he mentioned that one of his capable nephews had just taken over, and this time's seminar might meet again, I was thinking of finding an opportunity to visit, didn't expect to meet here, it's really a coincidence."

  "Besides, I should treat Seventh Uncle's friend well. How many days has Miss Sutu been back in the country? Shao Cheng, you too, it's rare that you're old classmates and yet neither of you reminded me." Fu Zhi Shi said to the little woman beside him with a hint of dissatisfaction.

  Tan Shaocheng was still smiling, but that smile had become very forced.

  Situ Xuan secretly sneered in her heart, no wonder Tan Shaocheng wanted to eat this dumb loss. She was determined to show off her ideal husband, but she didn't expect this twist. To say that Tan Shaocheng is already admirable, with her humble background and young age, she was able to enter and climb to the middle level, it's hard to believe that she didn't put in a lot of effort. Moreover, she was able to win Fu Zhi's favor, she must have something special about her. Once she marries into the Fu family, Tan Shaocheng's life will be completely rewritten, she will no longer be the Cinderella who has to work harder than others because of poverty. Such a lucky opportunity is worth showing off, and it's forgivable for anyone to do so. However, Tan Shaocheng may not be fully aware that the Fu family is deeply rooted and has many branches, but there are also unimaginable power struggles within, and now the one in charge is none other than Fu Jing Shu of the fourth house, which makes Fu Zhi more cautious towards Situ Xuan.

  If Tan Shaochen knew how Sutu Xuan met Fu Jing Shu, he probably wouldn't feel so lost. After being stranded in a transit country for three weeks before going to the US, at the point of near despair, the person Zou Jin said would arrange everything for Sutu Xuan finally appeared. However, no one believed what Professor Zou said, only that Mr. Fu had made arrangements. When Sutu Xuan arrived in the US, according to prior plans, she "married" an old man who ran a dry goods store in a local Chinese community in Los Angeles. She lived with this eccentric and moody old man for two years, always on edge, fearing not only that immigration would discover her secret but also that the old man would suddenly turn against her after taking money and report her. None of these things happened, no one came to bother her, the old man remained cold but they lived together under the same roof without incident for two years.

  It was during that time that Situ Xuan got to know her English tutor, Lindsay Wu, and they became close friends. After Lindsay and Lin Jing got together, the old man even accepted Lin Jing as a tenant in their home at Situ Xuan's suggestion, and even two years later when Situ Xuan obtained her green card, she continued to live in that house for a long time until she graduated. Her experience was much smoother than most people who "went black" not because of luck, but because of "Mr. Fu". Even the old man who bought dry goods was an old servant of the Fu family and only knew how to sell accounts for Fu Jingxu. Situ Xuan later also understood that Mrs. Zou Jin had the same surname as Fu, and like Fu Jingxu, she was a descendant of the "Jing" generation of the Fu family.

  No one knows why Zou Jin's wife could tolerate her husband, who had already made a notorious name for himself in the country, entrusting one of his mistresses to her. Later, Zou Jin also returned to the United States and Cece never saw him again, only hearing that he was living alone and not doing very well. Cece firmly believed that if it weren't for Mrs. Fu, if the academically-focused Mrs. Fu hadn't let her brother step in to smooth things over, she wouldn't be where she is today.

  She and Fu Jing Shu's matter is another story, at that time even Lin Jing and Lin Xi thought she would follow Fu Jing Shu, but Si Tu Xuan was very clear in her heart, she was not what Fu Jing Shu wanted, he would never marry a lonely woman who had nothing. He lacked nothing, nor did he lack the company of the opposite sex, reaching out to help Si Tu Xuan was just a gesture of sympathy, at most there were a few more encounters later on, and that's all.

  Someone on the side called out to Fu Zhi at this time. "Director Fu, are you available for a word?"

  Fu Zhi told Cui Xue before leaving: "Miss Cui, you must have dinner with me another day. When you go back, please greet Seventh Uncle for me." Then he instructed his fiancée, "Take good care of Miss Cui and don't be rude again, or people will laugh at us."

  Fu Zhi walked away, continuing to talk loudly in the humble gaze of several colleagues. Situ Xuan thought that with his identity, since he could make the decision to marry Tan Shaocheng and give her the status of Mrs. Fu, there must be some sincerity in it.

  Tan Shaochen's expression was somewhat disheartened, and he smiled bitterly: "Situ Xuan, you're satisfied now. No matter how hard I struggle to catch up, as soon as I look up, you'll always be ahead of me."

  Situ Xuan said: "I'm no longer the banner in front of you, and even if I wanted to return, it's too late. Yao Qiyun has nothing to envy now, Qu Xiaowen is already a thing of the past, Wu Jiang barely agreed to start anew, and Zou Jin is now completely discredited. All five of us are defeated, only you have won. Just let Wu Jiang go and live his life in peace."

  "Five defeats, all injured? Did I win alone?" Tan Shaochen repeated Si Tu Jue's words, turning her head to look at the back of the newlywed couple, Wu Jiang holding Ruan Wan's waist and laughing loudly in a playful tease by colleagues. On the other side was her fiancé, who finally agreed to leave his ex-wife and give her a name, but she still had to be careful, as there were too many envious eyes under Mrs. Fu's halo, and among those competitors, there were always capable and ambitious ones, some of whom were even younger and more beautiful than her. If things didn't go well, everything would be in vain. Her life was a series of battles, not that she didn't know the taste of "love", but "love" was an illusion after all, so let these hands grasp victory, which was more secure than love.

  She raised her head and said to Sutu Xin: "If I win, it's also what I deserve!"

  Xī Tù Jué suddenly felt that she was also pitiful, busy and bustling, actually a lifetime couldn't escape the shadow of that poor household girl who made vinegar. She protected the bottle, the vinegar didn't spill, but the exhausted heart and shattered wound, could it really not have any feeling?

  Situ Xuan accompanied Wu Jiang and Ruan Ruan to see off the last batch of guests, and Ruan Ruan's family members also returned to the hotel to rest. Wu Jiang's parents were waiting for the driver to come and pick them up.

  Wu Jiang walked to the side to make a phone call to the driver, and Ruan Ruan was not around either. Si Tu Jue greeted a pair of elders he had not seen for many years, but somehow felt a bit awkward.

  Wu Jiang's father still didn't say much, and Aunt Chen was still as kind as ever.

  "Your dad's busy, your mom's waist problem has flared up again, they can't come. I told you earlier, didn't expect you'd be back." Chen Auntie stroked Si Tu Jue's hair, "Little Si Tu has grown up, getting prettier and prettier, found a good family yet?"

  Situ Xuan felt that pair of hands belonging to "Mom", suddenly choked with sobs, unable to say anything, and just hung his head.

  Aunt Chen sighed and said, "When Wu Jiang went to America that time, I thought you two would be together."

  She was talking about the time three years ago when Wu Jiang was sent to study in the United States, and he was in Philadelphia at that time. On the day he arrived by plane, Si Tu Xuan rushed overnight on the last flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia. She thought that if she missed the last flight, she wouldn't go back either, but stayed at the airport and waited for the earliest flight the next day. She was so eager to see Wu Jiang, even just to talk to him for a few words.

  Situ Xuan is a floating duckweed that has lost its roots. Wu Jiang is the only existence in all her memories that still carries warmth.

  That year in Philadelphia, Sutu Xuan was very close to Wu Jiang. As long as time and money allowed, they would find ways to see each other. Those days together were indeed filled with a simple joy. To use Wu Jiang's analogy, the best of friends are like toilets - people only truly relax on them. You don't need to be with them every moment, but when you're in urgent need, that's all you can think of.

  Situ Xuan would not tell others that Wu Jiang had mentioned it to her on the eve of his return to China.

  "Situ, if one must get married, why don't we just get married?"

  "But do you love me, Wu Jiang?" asked Situ Xin stupidly.

  "Love is not a necessary condition for marriage. Even if two people who love each other are together, it doesn't mean they're more suitable for each other than we are." Wu Jiang said: "In fact, not loving too deeply makes it easier to be happy."

  Situ Xin thought for a long time, and in the end still refused. Wu Jiang asked her the reason, she said: "Marrying you is simple, but now I don't have anyone else by my side, it's hard to bear that from now on even a friend like you will be gone."

  Wu Jiang nodded with a smile, but gradually, his eyes also became moist. On the eve of bidding farewell to his old friend in a foreign land, he allowed himself to cover his face and cry. Si Tu Xuan didn't know if Wu Jiang had ever cried alone, but if she still had tears, she would have liked to cry at this moment, while there was still someone who understood. That summer they had lost something, at least besides themselves, there was another living person who understood everything.

  Now, Situ Xuan feels lucky for Wu Jiang. If he had married her back then, he would have missed Ruan Ruan. Ruan Ruan is a good woman, and maybe she and Wu Jiang will have another kind of happy possibility in their new life.

  "Auntie, you're really joking. How could Wu Jiang be with someone like me?" Si Tu Jue self-deprecatingly replied to Chen Auntie, the past things that happened in the Wu family couldn't have gone unheard.

  Aunt Chen smiled and her daughter-in-law Ruan was busy checking the bill with the hotel staff, having a great time.

  "At this point, as long as Wu Jiang is willing, we no longer care who he marries."

  When Wu Jiang's parents were also taken away, the lights in the hotel lobby gradually dimmed one by one, leaving only Xīu Yuè and a newlywed couple except for the staff.

  "I'd better make myself scarce." Situ Xuan stretched his waist. "I'll take a taxi back, every moment of the spring night is worth a thousand gold, you guys enjoy slowly. On the day I leave, don't bother to see me off either, newlyweds are nauseating, seeing you two makes me unbearable."

  "No rush for now." Ruan Ruan played a magic trick and pulled out several bottles of beer. "The wedding banquet had leftovers, the whole box was returned, just in time there were three bottles left, if we don't finish them it would be a waste."

  The waiter reluctantly came over and reminded them, "Sorry, we're closing soon."

  "Shall we go somewhere else?" Wu Jiang suggested.

  Ruan Ruan smiled and said: "I know a good place."

  She led Wu Jiang and Situ Ke to a flower bed on one side of the open-air parking lot, which was dark and gloomy.

  Ruan Ruan sat down on the edge of the flower bed, wearing her formal attire, and went to greet the other two people. At the wedding banquet, she, who had not drunk a drop of wine, skillfully and smoothly knocked off the beer bottle cap on the corner of the cement flower railing in front of Wu Jiang and Si Tu Jue, one by one handing them the wine.

  Situ Xuan didn't want to drink at first, but at this moment, he also felt that wine should be a good thing.

  Wu Jiang said, "Just drink like this, without saying anything?"

  "Of course it's for your happiness."

  "By the way, how about you?"

  "Then let's all be perfect."

  The wine bottle made a crisp sound as it touched, and Situ Xuan had just taken a sip. The tranquil Ruan Ruan's wine bottle was already half empty.

  Ruan Ruan put down his wine, propped both hands on the flower stand, and looked at the starless sky with a puzzled face. "Situ, you're smarter than me, tell me, will there be true perfection in this world?"

  On such days, Situ Xuan naturally says pleasant things.

  "I think so, you guys are very satisfied, aren't you?"

  Ruan Ruan said softly: "Yes, I'm very fulfilled. But sometimes I feel that one person's fulfillment may be another person's deficiency."

  "Everything is relative, just like I'm feeling suspicious now, whether so-called purity is just dependent on how many times you magnify it."

  "That's right! So I always say that the most difficult thing in life is to be muddled. Let's drink, how can we be muddled if we don't drink?" said Wu Jiang, raising his wine bottle.

  Ruan Ruan and Situ Xin also followed with a smile.

  At this time, Wu Jiang's phone suddenly rang.

  "Who's ruined the scenery again." Wu Jiang was still muttering to himself when he answered the phone, but after only a few sentences, his expression changed to one of extreme shock. He couldn't help but glance at Si Tu Jue, continuing to listen with a heavy face.

  "Who is it?" Wu Jiang hung up the phone and asked tentatively.

  Wu Jiang didn't speak up immediately. In fact, as soon as he looked at her, Si Tu Jue already knew that something was off and it had nothing to do with herself. She just couldn't figure out what else could happen, so she held onto a glimmer of hope, thinking that maybe it was just an old friend sending his regards through Wu Jiang.

  "Speak," she urged Wu Jiang, still smiling, but standing up.

  "It was your parents who called." Wu Jiang said with difficulty: "Yao Qiyun had an accident."

  "Oh, it's him..." Xī Tù Jīn sat back down beside Ruǎn Ruǎn, who was confused and reached out to hold her shoulder.

  With the beer-filled glass bottle still in his hand, Situ Xuan found that the position of his grip was exactly at the narrow neck of the bottle. The bottle seemed like a person whose throat was being pinched, unable to make a sound, only twisting its face, looking like it couldn't survive.

  She nervously withdrew her hand and looked up at him, asking: "What's wrong with him?"

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