Volume 1 Chapter 23 Soul's Dialogue (Part 2)

  He couldn't see my expression, and after a long silence, he sat down again. The moonlight outside gradually faded away, his shadow began to blur, and the room fell into a silent darkness.

  "He suddenly said in a low voice: 'You, what's your name?'"

  I was taken aback and asked in confusion: "What did you say?"

  His tone was slightly awkward: "I mean, what's your name?"

  It turned out that I didn't mishear, he was asking for my name. I smiled silently, and he actually asked for my name. Does this mean that in his eyes, I am no longer a temporary substitute? Am I considered a person now? Is it a sign of new hope?

  I know he can't see me, and I can't see him. In the darkness, there are only our two voices floating around, the atmosphere is somewhat inexplicably strange, a mysterious feeling that radiates out in all directions. Everything around us seems to have disappeared, leaving only two souls conversing.

  I gazed into the darkness in the direction of the voice and slowly said word by word: "My name is 'Fang, Ning, Xi'."

  "Fang Ning Xi." He whispered my name twice, as if he wanted to remember it.

  "You cry a lot." His voice was calm and didn't reveal any emotion.

  What's going on? Are you here to discuss my personality? Isn't it said that Gu Qingying never cries, but my crying has piqued his interest?

  I smiled wryly and gazed into the darkness ahead of me: "Everyone will cry; it's just a matter of whether they want to or not."

  He didn't make a sound. The whole person was submerged in darkness.

  I didn't notice his silence. My gaze couldn't find its focus in the darkness. A sudden urge to pour out my heart surged up inside me. Not because the person in front of me was him.

  "I never thought that crying is a sign of weakness. It's just a way to release emotions. When you have no one to talk to, nowhere to vent, crying is the best solution. Tears can take away all the grievances and knots in your heart. After crying, all the unhappiness will disappear. I'll feel refreshed and be able to gather my spirits to face what's next."

  He was somewhat shocked and said: "Is this how you understand crying?"

  "I continued: 'Psychological analysis. When a person overly controls their emotions, suppresses their emotions, it will make the body long-term in a state of extreme tension and fatigue. When the spirit becomes a tight string, and this string exceeds its bearable range, there will only be two results.'"

  I don't know if what I said reminded him of something else. His tone became serious: "What's the outcome?"

  I smiled and said in a low voice, "One is self-destruction, the other is destroying others." I tried to choose words that he could understand. I didn't go into explaining spiritual energy transfer, unconscious compulsive states and other professional terms.

  He remained silent for a long time, so silent that I almost thought the dark space was left with only me. Then I heard him let out a soft sigh and say: "Do you hate me?"

  I was stunned, hating him, I laughed at myself, do I have so much hatred? If I had to hate, shouldn't I hate the drunk driver who took my parents' lives? He lost his own life too. I still remember when my uncles and aunts brought me to make a scene at his funeral, I saw the widow and her orphaned child, a pale and haggard woman with no tears left, kneeling in front of us. And that little kid, pulling on my clothes, calling me "sister" in a tender voice. At that moment, I couldn't bring myself to hate them. If I still had to hate, shouldn't I hate my uncle and aunt? They took away the inheritance that was mine, using the excuse of taking care of me, but actually they were just eyeing everything my parents left for me. But at least they gave me a place to take shelter from the wind and rain. What do I have to hate? If hatred could bring back my parents, bring back my carefree childhood, I would hate with all my might. But if it can't, what's the use of hating?

  I smiled faintly and sneered: "Why should I hate you? Just because you brought my soul back, if I hated you, could you send me back?"

  He held his breath for a moment before speaking softly: "I... am very sorry."

  I was taken aback, he was apologizing to me, and he actually apologized. What's the use of an apology? I laughed coldly: "Hate is a very heavy thing, and bearing hatred requires paying a huge price. I don't hate you, only because I'm unwilling to let hatred fill my life, but that doesn't mean I can forgive you."

  He was silently enduring, with some heavy breathing sounds lingering around my ears. I closed my eyes and a wave of fatigue surged up, only to hear him say softly: "I don't expect your forgiveness, just hope you won't be against me anymore."

  When did I ever cross swords with you? I was just fighting for some favorable conditions for myself. What do you want me to be, a submissive prisoner?

  I didn't speak, gazing out the window as the sky turned a pale white, and faint light crept in. His figure began to gradually take shape, it was time to end this conversation.

  He seemed to understand my intention as well, stood up, but didn't walk out, just standing at the head of the bed silently staring at me. I calmly stared back at him, what else did he want to say?

  After a long while, he withdrew his gaze and said in a low voice: "I will be leaving for seven days, I'll set out at dawn tomorrow. If you need anything, you can instruct Jin Niang directly. You, take care of yourself."

  I shook my head in self-mockery, so that's it, he racked his brains to have this conversation with me, just to get me to take good care of myself and not torture this body anymore. In short, it was all for Gu Qingying. But Ling Yi, you're wrong, I won't only not torture myself, but also take good care of myself, because this body, if you don't want it back.

  Everything in front of me became clearer and clearer, everything returned to reality. I closed my eyes, leaned against the headboard, and said tiredly: "You can go, I need to rest."