Behind me, the Lava Warden roars, its molten body cracking and shifting as it lumbers after me like a pissed-off volcano spirit. With every step, the ground trembles, and chunks of molten rock explode into the air. The heat is unbearable, my lungs are on fire, and I swear my shoes are melting.
Oh wait, I don't have shoes.
That realization comes just as my bare foot lands on a particularly hot patch of rock.
"GAH! HOT HOT HOT HOT!" I scream, hopping forward.
DING!
New Skill Acquired: [Heat Resistance (Weak)]
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" I yell at the sky. "That should be a MAX-LEVEL skill by now!"
No time to complain—lava beast behind me, boiling doom in every direction.
I leap over a stream of molten rock, barely making it to a solid patch of obsidian. The Warden isn't slowing down. It doesn't need to. Its huge molten feet stomp right through the lava, sending waves of burning liquid my way.
DING!
New Skill Acquired: [Dodge Roll (Level 1)]
"Dodge roll?" I mutter—right before instinct kicks in and I fling myself sideways.
WHOOSH!
A geyser of lava erupts where I was just standing. My new skill activates, and I roll… straight into another bubbling lava pool.
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"GAH, NOPE!" I screech, scrambling out like a cat who fell into a bathtub. "That was a bad roll!"
Meanwhile, the Warden is still coming, cracking its molten knuckles like it actually enjoys this chase.
"You have GOT to be kidding me!"
Step 2: Become a Lava Ninja
I don’t have time to think—I just move.
Lava river ahead. No way around it.
"Guess I'm doing this."
I take a deep breath and leap, using a cracked rock as a launch pad. My foot barely touches the surface before I jump again, pushing off like some kind of deranged ninja.
DING!
New Skill Acquired: [Lava Parkour (Level 1)]
"Oh, NOW you give me a parkour skill?!"
The Warden doesn’t bother with finesse. It just stomps through the lava like a giant fiery toddler throwing a tantrum.
I glance back just in time to see it hurl a chunk of molten rock at me.
"OH HELL NO!"
I duck. The rock flies overhead, splattering lava in all directions. My heart is pounding, my feet are burning, and I'm pretty sure I'm developing a deep, personal hatred for this world.
But then… I get an idea.
Step 3: Outsmart the Lava Monster (Somehow)
I spot a patch of what looks like unstable ground—black volcanic rock with glowing cracks running deep underneath. If I can lure the Warden there…
"HEY, YOU BIG MELTED BRICK!" I yell, waving my arms like an idiot. "YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!"
The Warden roars in response. Perfect.
I sprint toward the unstable ground, pretending to trip just before I reach the edge.
"OH NOOOO!" I fake scream, flailing dramatically.
The Warden takes the bait, charging straight at me like an overgrown fireball.
The second its massive, molten foot lands on the cracked surface—
BOOOOOM!
The ground explodes, collapsing into a pit of lava below.
The Warden lets out a deep, slow "Huuuhhh?" before plunging into the molten abyss.
FWOOOSH!
A massive splash of lava erupts into the air, but I’m already rolling away (this time not into another lava pool, thank you very much).
Silence.
Then—
DING!
New Quest Completed: First Steps in Hell!
Reward: 50 EXP, 1 Skill Point, and [Survivor’s Instinct] Unlocked!
I lay there, panting, staring at the sky as the notification hovers in my vision.
"I… I did it," I whisper. "I actually beat a monster… at LEVEL ONE…"
Another notification pops up.
Title Earned: [Lava Idiot]
"…I hate this world."
