DISCLAIMER: All secondary effects listed here are temporary. The Vestiges of the Empire is not to be held responsible for any action or inaction caused while under the influence of its products.
Alamond Alamein
Dark chocolate cake decorated graciously with Round Almonds nuts
You will unintentionally say ‘nuts’ at the end of every sentence nuts
Babushka
Sweet dumplings made with potato-based batter and Power Plum filling
You will have an incessant urge to threaten people with a rolling pin
Banana Throne
Layered cake made with bananas, cream, chocolate and Bell Walnuts
You will hear a constant ringing that isn’t there
Chef’s Pick
Ask your waitress for today’s special
WARNING: May or may not involve a live sacrifice to the great and mighty Zublos
Chocolate Apocalypse
Chocolate fudge cake with a hint of Demon Sugar
You will experience a world made out of chocolate
Drowned Mariner
Caramel-glazed cake with fermented Pond Fruit filling
You will feel like you’re sinking in a sea of booze
Emergency Exit
Coffee cake made with Blue Cinnamon
Even the simplest problem will seem like a world-ending crisis
Forbidden Flavor
Chocolate souffle with Dreamberry filling
Your deepest desires will be given form
Fury of a Thousand Suns
Crepes with Rageberry filling
You will lash out against this unreasonable world
WARNING: Customer must be shackled prior to ingesting
Honeyed Happiness
Six cupcakes glazed with Hyper-bee Honey
You will know boundless and unbridled joy
King’s Quest
Sweetroll with crushed Box Peanuts
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
You will only see large squares
Pleasantly Peachy Pancakes
A stack of four pancakes made with crushed Pure Peach
You will feel all is right with the world
Random Rhapsody
Layered spongecake with a rainbow jam filling
Not even the chef knows what will happen with this one
Red Rabbit
Crimson Valley style carrot cake
You won’t be able to stop bouncing
Soulforger’s Gaze
Bran muffins with Coo-coo-coconut cream filling
You will discover a new you
Stranger Danger
Six doughnuts with Paranoid Pepper jam
You will be more perceptive of other people’s hostile intentions
Strawberry of Despair
Srawberry and cream shortcake made with Ghostflour
So tasty you will be truly saddened when it’s all gone
WARNING: Limited to two per customer per day due to safety concerns
The Hidden Truth
Cheesecake made with milk from an All Knowing Ox
You will realize where you lost your house keys that one time
Time-Trader
Caramel souffle made out of Quick Quacker eggs
The world around you will seem to slow down and speed up at random
Visceral Vanilla
Moist cake that uses Violent Vanilla as the main ingredient
You will violently and voraciously vivisect this vestige of vanilla, violating volition and vanishing virtuosity, leaving you vexed, yet vivified
World’s End
Perception Pineapple based upside-down cake
Your view of the world will be flipped
Zublos the Almighty
Homemade biscuit cake, made according to a secret recipe straight from the Pit of Crushing Loneliness
You will better appreciate what you have
You people went and made me spell it out. I ninja-edited the last line in the previous chapter since I was apparently being too elusive. Go re-read it if you're still confused!
