Chapter Fifty-Six

  My mind went "boom" and suddenly exploded. My legs turned soft, my body wanted to fall, but Yu Tan quickly supported me. The sound of "buzzing" filled my ears, Yu Tan seemed to still be talking, but I didn't hear a single sentence, only thinking, what kind of sin did I commit, why doesn't heaven have any pity on me?

  When I came to, I found myself sitting in the house. Yutan looked at me with tears in her eyes and said: "Good sister! Don't scare me!" I weakly pointed to the teacup, she quickly picked it up and let me drink a few mouthfuls. I felt dizzy and empty, didn't know what to think or do.

  I casually asked: "Where's the 14th brother?" Yutan said: "The 14th master just listened to it and left immediately, only instructing me to take good care of you!"

  Yu Dan comforted: "Sister! Don't worry for now, hasn't the Old Master nodded yet?"

  I remained silent for a long time, feeling that things couldn't be like this. I said to Yutan: "Tell me everything that happened today from start to finish, every single detail, including the emperor's every glance!"

  Yu Dan Road: "After the prince arrived, Yun Xiang sister ordered me to serve tea. I carried the tea tray in and the prince was kneeling on the ground, saying to the emperor '...If Xi is also at the age of being sent out of the palace next year, she has a gentle and polite personality, and her appearance is outstanding, so I, your son, dare to ask you, Emperor Father, to take charge and give her to me as my concubine!' The emperor remained silent for a while before saying 'Xi has been by my side for many years, serving me wholeheartedly. I originally thought of keeping her for a little longer, until next year, when I would arrange a good marriage for her, so it wouldn't be in vain that she served me. Today's matter is sudden, and I need to consider it...' Then, the tea was already served, and there was no reason for me to linger, so I could only withdraw! At the time, my heart was shocked, afraid that my face would look abnormal, letting the emperor and prince see through, so I didn't dare raise my head, therefore I didn't notice the expressions of the emperor and prince."

  After careful consideration of the past, I roughly understand the thoughts of the Crown Prince, which are no more than three reasons: one is Kangxi, two is the Mongolian people, and three is my mother. Among them, the factor of the Mongolian people is obviously dominant. However, I have no clue about Kangxi's thoughts. If Kangxi agrees, what should I do? Should I really marry the Crown Prince? Or defy the imperial edict? Should I really prepare for a tragic ending as the Fourth Brother said? I know everyone's outcome, but I don't know my own outcome. Is this the fate that Heaven has prepared for me? Thinking about it, I couldn't help but feel sad and burst into tears on the couch.

  Yutang insisted on staying in my room that night, and I weakly said: "Don't worry about it! Are you really afraid that I'll hang myself from the beam at night? Since the Emperor hasn't nodded yet, things haven't reached a dead end. Besides, even if they did, I wouldn't be willing to accept fate just like that! Let me calm down by myself!" Yutang saw that I had said all I needed to say and reluctantly returned to her own room.

  I lay in bed, thinking back and forth, tears falling again. When I saw the tenth brother's marriage that year, I was filled with sorrow and anger. Now I realize it wasn't just sorrow and anger, but also a desperate despair!

  She got up, walked slowly to the osmanthus tree, thinking of the crown prince's usual expression, and then thought of his appearance when he saw Minmin, only feeling extremely disgusted. She hugged the osmanthus tree, her face stuck to the trunk, and tears burst out. Was I completely wrong? Did my persistence ultimately harm myself? No matter if it was Fourth Brother, Eighth Brother, or Tenth Brother, they were all better than marrying the crown prince!

  After thinking for a while and crying for a while, I didn't realize that the sky had already turned pale.

  "Sister, why are you only wearing a single layer of clothing?" Yutan exclaimed as she rushed over to support me, having just opened the door. As soon as she touched my body, she cried out again: "Good heavens! You're scorching hot! How long have you been outside, sister?" I was dazed and confused as she helped me onto the bed. She covered me with a quilt while saying: "Sister, hang in there a bit longer, I'll go find Wang Gonggong and ask him to fetch a doctor!"

  Yu Dan served and ate the medicine, and she was dizzy again. It's said to be dizzy, but Yu Dan's movements in the room were all clear to me, saying that I was awake, but my eyelids felt heavy as a mountain, and no matter what, I couldn't open them.

  I don't know how long I've been lying down, my throat is burning and aching like fire, I want to drink water, I opened my mouth but couldn't make a sound. I feel like Yu Tan is sitting beside me, but my limbs are all weak, I couldn't remind her. I'm just frowning in pain.

  Do you want water? A man's voice said, and he picked me up, bringing the water to my lips, feeding it to me bit by bit. After I finished drinking, he helped me lie down again. He leaned his head against my ear and whispered: "Since the Emperor has not yet given an order, there is still a chance for things to turn around!" Only then did I realize that it was the voice of the Fourth Prince, and my heart felt a pang, with tears streaming down from the corners of my eyes.

  He used his hand to help me wipe away my tears and said, "Don't think about anything else, listen to the imperial physician's instructions, and focus on recovering from your illness first! I've ordered someone to send Yu Dan away, she should be back soon, I shouldn't stay for too long!" After finishing speaking, he helped me pull up the quilt and left after opening the door.

  After taking four doses of medicine, Yutan added more blankets to cover me with sweat at night. By the second day, although my head was still heavy and my voice was hoarse, the fever had subsided, and I was much clearer-headed. Yesterday, I didn't eat all day, but today at noon, Yutan brought me a bowl of clear porridge to eat. After finishing it, she helped me rinse my mouth, wiped my face, and took out the food box, saying "I'll be right back!" as she left.

  Wide-eyed, staring at the top of the account, thinking that if Kangxi really intends to give me a marriage, what can I do to make Kangxi not give me to the prince? Knowing that the prince will be abolished next year, Kangxi should not give me a marriage! But if Kangxi really has intentions, how can I drag on for so long?

  Just as I was pondering, I suddenly heard the sound of the door being pushed open. I thought it was Yutan who had returned. I didn't pay much attention to it and continued to think deeply.

  "Looks better than yesterday! "; I hurriedly turned my head to look, and Shi Qi was standing by the bed with his head down looking at me. I tried to sit up, but he stopped me and said: "Just lie down! No need for so much courtesy!"; After speaking, he casually pulled over a stool and sat down beside the bed.

  He was silent for a moment, then suddenly squatted down beside the bed and whispered in my ear: "Do you know why the prince wants to marry you? Su Wan Guai Rui Wang Ye petitioned the emperor to grant marriage between Zhaohuang Wangzi and Minmin, the memorial arrived today! He's indeed well-informed!" He hummed a low, cold tone and said: "The twists and turns will be told another day. Today I only ask you, do you want to marry the prince?" I shook my head. He said: "Eighth brother can't come see you now, he asked me to tell you to think of a way to stall for a few days in front of the emperor, around ten days or so, and things will take a turn!"

  After finishing speaking, he sat back on the stool and said: "Tenth brother also wanted to come see you, but thinking that you are ill, afraid of being annoyed by people, so only let me take his place!"

  I was both shocked and delighted, staring at the 14th, he nodded firmly, I said with a sob: "Thank you!" He exclaimed: "How did your throat get burned like this? It's just like a duck! "

  I pulled the corner of my mouth, wanting to smile but because of the bitterness in my heart, I just quietly looked at fourteen. Fourteen stood up and said: "I'm going back! These days may not be able to come see you, take care of yourself!"

  He had just left, and Yutan brought in a bowl of iced sugar pear soup. I asked her: "Don't you need to be on duty?" She replied: "Li Xiangda knows that my sister is ill, so he specially let me take care of my sister!" After finishing speaking, she wanted to feed me the sugar water.

  I said, "I don't want to drink!" Yutan smiled and said, "Sister, have some! This is the best for soothing your throat!" I shook my head, indicating that she should take it away. She persuaded me a few more times, but seeing that I didn't react at all, she had no choice but to put it aside.

  What is this turning point, anyway? And the fourteenth only said that there would be a turning point, which means it's not necessarily going to happen! But at least for now, there's a way out. If I can just drag on for a few more days, it should still be okay, even if Kangxi wants to give me a royal marriage, he won't rush to issue an edict while I'm ill and have me receive it while sick. Thinking about this makes my heart feel slightly more at ease!

  I was lost in thought when Yutan brought the medicine over, placing it on the table before helping me up. I grasped her hand and gestured for her to sit beside me, saying: "Yutan, I won't be able to drink this medicine!" She looked at me with surprise, and I continued speaking softly: "All these years, I've always treated you like a younger sister, so I shouldn't hide it from you. You should be able to guess that I don't want to marry the prince. For now, there's no other way but to pretend to be ill first, but I also can't just fake an illness - if Li Xiang asks the imperial physician, he'll find out everything. So bring the medicine as usual and secretly pour it away when no one is looking."

  Yu Dan bit her lip and stared at me for a while, finally nodding. I smiled and held her hand, but she suddenly turned her head to wipe away tears, her shoulders slightly shaking. In a low voice that was almost inaudible, she muttered: "Why? Why is it like this? Even someone like my sister..."

  Alas, what fate awaits her in the future? By the time she leaves the palace at an old age, she has already passed the suitable age for marriage. With her background and without family support, if she doesn't marry, she can only follow her brother for the rest of her life, which is extremely humiliating! If she marries, it's feared that it will be difficult to find a good husband! A woman with such clever and resourceful thoughts, in modern times, as long as she works hard, there are no obstacles. But now I can only see a bleak future! "Women are made of water"; this is because in this society, apart from the three obediences of "obeying her father, obeying her husband, and obeying her son", there is no other way out for women. In a patriarchal society, individual strength is just like trying to stop a chariot with bare arms, how can women not shed tears?

  Yesterday, although I didn't take any medicine for the whole day, today I feel a bit better. I think it's because I often jump rope in the courtyard and do sit-ups before bed, thinking that health is the most important thing, and if I get sick, I'll be the one to suffer. Ancient medicine is also backward, as seen in "Dream of the Red Chamber", where even a minor cold can turn into a deadly disease at any time, which is terrifying. So I've always been conscious of maintaining modern exercise habits, but now I'm starting to regret it. Especially when the imperial physician finished taking my pulse and smiled at me, saying: "Miss, you take good care of yourself! Just rest for four or five more days and take good care of yourself, and you should be fine!" My heart was in extreme pain, but I still had to pretend to be happy on my face.

  Yu Dan Duan medicine went, I was leaning on the couch in a daze, heard the knock at the door, and casually said: "Come in!" The one who pushed the door open was Xiao Shunzi. He quickly walked to the side of the couch, while waving his hand, he whispered to me: "Young master asked me to tell you a word, drag!" After finishing speaking, he turned around and ran away hastily.

  ―――――――――――――――——

  At night, I sent Yu Tan back to her room to rest. After estimating that she had fallen asleep, I casually put on a piece of clothing, got out of bed, opened the door and stood in the courtyard. It was late September in Beijing, and the deep night was already somewhat cool and refreshing.

  Standing alone in the wind for a while, thinking that last time it was sudden bad news that hurt my heart, then the cold wind made me catch a chill, and finally I had a fever which was probably mostly psychological. This time, with mental preparation, just blowing wind might not be enough. Entering the ear house, I scooped up a basin of cold water, poured it over my head, and soaked my whole body from head to toe. Standing against the wind, I forced myself to hold my hands flat, closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and my body shivered with cold.

  "Good sister! How can you be so self-deprecating?"; Yutan shouted while rushing over to pull me into the house. I pushed her away and said: "Don't bother with me, go back to sleep yourself!" She still wanted to drag me in, so I said: "Do you think I want to humiliate myself? But this is the only way I can think of to save myself now! If you keep doing this, you're harming me. It's all for nothing that I considered you a kindred spirit all along!"

  Jade let go of my hand, looked at me and silently shed tears. I ignored her, turned around and poured another basin of water on myself, standing in the wind for half a night. Before dawn broke, I was burning again, my head spinning dizzily.

  Jade supported me into the house, helped me dry my hair, changed my clothes, and covered me with a quilt. I kept reminding her: "Don't rush to invite Dr. Tai just yet, wait until my hair is dry and you can touch it again before calling!" Because of worrying about things, I hadn't had a good rest for many days, and after struggling to stay awake for a while, I finally fell asleep in a daze.

  This time, the illness was a case of one illness on top of another. In ancient times, there was no good remedy for reducing fever. After being in a daze for three or four days, she finally came to and began to recover slowly after another four or five days of recuperation. Thinking that although things were not ideal, she no longer needed Yu Dan's constant care, and also thinking about the so-called turning point and Kang Xi's attitude, she instructed Yu Dan to return to her normal duties and be careful with everything. She nodded obediently, indicating that she understood everything!

  It's already October, but there is still no news. Yutan only told me that Li Fuquan asked her about my illness and showed no unusual expression, just instructing her to take good care of me in daily life. I am anxious in my heart, this illness came suddenly and violently, and it happened so coincidentally, what would Kangxi think in his heart?

  It's been fifteen days since the fourteenth, but I still haven't seen any turning point. One day, as I was sitting in my room feeling anxious and depressed, Yutan rushed in, closed the door behind her, sat down next to me, and whispered: "I heard that today at court, Duke Jingxi brought up his old case again, requesting His Majesty to investigate the case of General Tuohuqi and his son embezzling silver during the mourning period for Prince Malhu.

  I thought it over carefully, Jing Xi is the son of Anqin Wang Yueluo, the maternal uncle of Ba Fu Jin, and he is also in the Zhenglan Banner with Ba A Ge, so he must be a supporter of Ba A Ge; while the commander of the infantry Tohoqi is actually the prince's person, this is a rebellion against the prince! Is this the fuse for the "dismissal of the crown prince"?

  "I asked, 'Can you tell me what the Emperor said?' Yu Dan replied, 'Because this time the memorial reported that there were signs showing about a dozen people attending the party drinking, excluding the infantry commander Tuhe Qi, the general Oshan, the Minister of Justice Qishiwu, and the Minister of War Geng E, most of them were eight banner generals, deputy generals and other military personnel. The Emperor attaches great importance to this matter, ordering the three princes to take charge of the investigation first, if it is true as reported by Zhen Guo Gong, then hand over the case to the Ministry of Justice for a detailed trial.'"

  Of course, it must be carefully examined! Since the restoration of the crown prince, Kangxi has been worried that Yinreng might be forced to abdicate. And this time, the participants in the banquet are mostly military officials with certain military power. Especially the position of Step Military Commander, which is a first-class official and is equivalent to the commander of the capital's garrison, bears direct responsibility for ensuring the emperor's personal safety. How could Kangxi possibly let them have private contacts? Once any words unfavorable to the crown prince are discovered, the crown prince will be deposed again soon. And since Eighth Brother chose this matter, he would never shoot without a target.

  Thinking of this, a faint smile escaped from the corner of my mouth, and the sword hanging above my head finally moved away temporarily. Since Kangxi's suspicion towards the Crown Prince is about to become a reality, it would be impossible for him to marry me again. If things are as they thought, I am now related to two major Mongolian clans! How could such a good resource be wasted on the Crown Prince?

  It seems that the struggle between the two princes has shifted from behind the scenes to the forefront. The Eighth Prince is probably just waiting for the right moment, and it's unlikely he would have made his move so suddenly without being well-prepared. As for the Fourth Prince, since he sent someone to inform me to delay my actions, it means he also knows about the impending event in the imperial court. It appears that this time, he wants to collaborate with the Eighth Prince to overthrow the Crown Prince. But what role have I played in all of this? It seems I've become a catalyst! Without me, this would have happened sooner or later, but because I'm involved with the Mongolians and Kangxi's attitude, perhaps things have unfolded faster than they had anticipated. Unfortunately, I don't have any history books on hand, so I don't know if these events are following the course of history as I knew it. My mind is filled with doubts - did history unfold this way because of me, or did my actions occur because of the predetermined course of history?

  The smile remains, but it's gradually becoming bitter. I've been dodging and hiding, only to find myself at the center of the storm! Previously, I was always just a bystander, watching as others walked towards their own conclusions. Now, I've also been dragged into this play, and I wonder what path I should take in the future? From now on, it's not that nothing will happen if I don't make mistakes, but rather, even if I don't move, the storm won't let me go! It's become a matter of how to protect myself.