Toshie opened her eyes.

  ‘I swear to God, if I am not on the same boat I fell asleep on,’ she thought.

  To her surprise, she was.

  ‘Brot’s magic sure does wonders,’ she thought as she looked into the empty bucket beside her. Her stomach growled. ‘Hey, buddy, calm down. I’ll put something in you soon. I hope.’

  She looked around the room. There were no windows. The only light came from candles, which Toshie guessed were magic. At least, there seemed to be no wax drippings.

  Toshie sat up and felt a pinch in her lower back. Fuck, age was catching up with her. Yeah, yeah, your thirties are still young. She remembered how the older women at the bank would always tell her how young she was whenever she compined about being tired, back pain, or anything else. To them, youth was supposed to make up for the uncomfortable parts of life. Those older women always compined about their husbands but never about having two incomes or having paid off homes. To Toshie, it always felt like they had their youth at a better time.

  But now Toshie was on a boat, headed back to a Dwarven kingdom where this all began. With the supposed dead Princess. And she was supposed to help steal an Orb.

  Brot interrupted her daydreaming.

  “Is everything all right, Master Toshie? You look confused.”

  “Yeah. I’m wondering how this is going to end up. Will Navarin kill us, or will we do things we don’t want to do? Nothing about this feels great.”

  “Master Navarin–”

  “Do you have to call everyone ‘master’?”

  “As a Priest, I serve everyone, and thus everyone is above me.”

  Toshie didn’t have a response to that. “Sorry, go on.”

  “Master Navarin serves her mother, but she is still her own person. We may yet be surprised by her actions.”

  “You know something we don’t, Brot?” Toshie managed to get herself to her feet and tried cracking her back. No luck.

  “Only hunches.” Brot tried to get himself off the hammock but only made it swing back and forth. “However, ngh, the problem is, argh...”

  Toshie helped Brot down.

  “Much obliged, Master Toshie. The problem is, if you remember Master Navarin’s intoxicated musings, she is none too fond of her mother. So the question as I see it is: How do we get her on our side?”

  “You think that’ll be easy?” Toshie asked as she went to check on the sleeping couple.

  “I do not think anything we do will impact it.” Brot did some stretching.

  “Sorry, Brot, but it feels like you’re talking in riddles,” Toshie said. Sally was still snoring away. ‘How do you have a world with magic and not do anything about snoring?’

  “My apologies, Master Toshie. Try as I might, I have trouble understanding Master Navarin’s motives.”

  “Seems like she wants to impress her mother.”

  “Even though she dislikes her so?”

  “Because she dislikes her. You became a Priest because you didn’t want to end up like your father, right? Well, that’s different, but it’s the same concept. Navarin feels as though she doesn’t belong. In both cases, your parents made you feel like you had to act a certain way.”

  “Interesting theory,” Brot was sitting on the floor, looking in his bag. “Do you have a simir tale, Master Toshie?”

  Toshie thought about this. Her father had been a car mechanic. He was also a huge dork who embarrassed her but had been employed as a car mechanic. And her mother... Toshie didn’t hate her mother, did she? That’s ridiculous. I mean, they didn’t get along because she always expected so damn much out of Toshie at school and whatever activity she was cramming down Toshie’s throat that year. But she didn’t hateher mother, did she?

  “Master Toshie?” Brot looked up from his book.

  “Parenting is complicated. And I can’t say I’m an expert. I’m an only child, and I don’t have kids. Hell, I was never married.”

  “Did the idea not appeal to you?” Brot asked.

  “Eh, never met someone. But it was a weird time where I’m from. My mother couldn’t understand how I wasn’t married at my age, how I wasn’t even considering children, or how I could let time slip by. But I wasn’t going to do something I didn’t want to.”

  “Well, Master Toshie, there are few Goblin Priests. Getting started was hard enough for me. Being trusted is still nigh impossible. And yet, I persist. Why do you persist, Master Toshie?”

  This was getting too deep. Toshie had the sudden urge to change the topic.

  “Do Priests get married, Brot?”

  “Are you proposing something, Master Toshie?”

  Toshie could feel herself blushing. “That’s not what I meant! It’s common where I’m from for Priests not to marry or have children. Instead...”

  “Yes, Master Toshie?”

  “Don’t worry about it. But I guess I was curious. I’m still learning about this world.”

  “Yes, I often forget that, to be honest. We sure have had ourselves an adventure, have we not?”

  There was a knock at the door.

  “And it’s far from over.” Toshie opened the door. Every boat trip had so far been a disaster. Her hopes were not high.

  Navarin was at the door. So far, Toshie was right.

  “Problem, boss?” Toshie asked as Navarin walked into the room, ignoring her.

  “Are these two still asleep?” Navarin poked Sally in the forehead.

  “The gentle sea soothes the savage beast,” Toshie offered. “Hard to tell the time of day with nothing but magical candles.” She waved a finger through the fme of one of them. It didn’t even feel hot. “So, what work do you have for us now?”

  “I come bringing good news. You may join me for breakfast.”

  Navarin had a way with words like a cow had a way with tap dancing.

  “You’re far too kind, Master Navarin,” Brot said as he put away his book. “I shall wake Masters Sally and Yrlith and have them join you soon. Please take Master Toshie and go ahead so you are not kept waiting.”

  “Brot, your kindness is unparalleled. You could learn a thing or two from him, Hero. Now, with me.”

  Navarin left the room. Toshie stuck out her tongue at her. Brot ughed.

  “You two remind me of my older sisters,” Brot said.

  “That’s a terrifying thought. Although, promise me you’ll tell me about them sometime,” Toshie said as she left the room.

  “You’ll have to stand,” Navarin said, sitting in one chair and resting her feet in another, “but I’m sure you prefer that to going hungry.”

  Toshie took a look at the ptes spread on the desk. Identical sandwiches sat on each one of them.

  “Too good for you, Hero?”

  “No, I’m trying to figure out what it is.”

  “Oh, right. You’re not from this world. Poor you.”

  “I’m getting by.”

  “I’m gd to hear that.” Navarin picked up a sandwich and took a bite.

  Toshie followed suit and began munching away. It tasted sweeter than she expected but had far too much crunch. She didn’t dare look inside.

  “So why the sudden kindness?”

  “I need you all in fighting shape. Don’t eat if you prefer hunger.”

  Toshie returned to the sandwich.

  ‘Could be worse,’ she thought. ‘At least chewing is keeping her quiet.’

  The silence reminded her of many a bad date.

  ‘No guy ever put a deadly anklet on me, though. Points for them?’

  “You remember my mother put that on you, not me, correct? I am unsure why you all hate me so. I am under her thumb as much as you are.”

  “You can still kill us if you want.”

  “A perk, yes.” Navarin took another bite.

  ‘Is she smiling? Can she read minds?’

  “I can’t read minds if that’s what you are thinking. It’s simple, dear Hero. You quietly ate your sandwich, avoided conversation with me, and stared at the anklet. Simple enough for a child to figure out.”

  ‘Well, if you can read minds, go fuck yourself,’ Toshie thought. Navarin did not respond.

  knock, knock

  Toshie smiled. She couldn’t handle much more of this one-on-one with Navarin. “I’ll get it,” she said and opened the door.

  “Come on in, we’ve got crunchy sandwiches and no seats,” she said to Brot. And Brot only. “Where are they?”

  “They insisted on sleeping,” Brot said. “May I come in, Master Navarin?”

  “Oh, Brot, I like you. Always so polite. Yes, come in. Eat.”

  Toshie noticed Navarin was on her second sandwich. Doing some quick math, Toshie realized Navarin wasted no time ciming the leftover food. “An extra one for you, if you desire,” she told Toshie.

  Toshie declined. “Brot, take two if you’d like.”

  “Oh, Master Navarin, I could never do such a thing,” Brot said, selecting a pte and taking a bite. “Oh, it is most delectable! Did you choose these for our meal, Master Navarin?”

  “Of course,” she said, munching away. “Hero, you may return or stay and chat with me and Brot. I’m sure it will be delightful here, with or without you.”

  “Thanks for the compliment,” Toshie mumbled as she left. Instead of returning to the room, as she figured the couple might be after some alone time, she walked outside to look out at the sea. For all the times she had been on a boat in the past week, she had never gotten to look at the sea. Ocean? Geographical features were not her area of study. Brot probably knew. She’d have to ask him.

  She saw a few other ships in the far distance.

  ‘I swear... if we get attacked by pirates again,’ she thought. ‘Those boxes were so light. Shit, are we transporting drugs? Could we get arrested? Then what happens? I’ve never been to jail...’

  She imagined Navarin talking herself out of trouble, and then she, Brot, and Yrlith get thrown in jail. Sally would probably get out of trouble by being a Princess.

  She shook her head. ‘What the hell am I thinking about? Plus, would they arrest the Great Hero? Holy shit, I am the Hero. What does that even mean?’

  Daedalus had taught her to heal minor wounds, but Brot seemed better at that Magic.

  She could make fire, but Navarin, Sally, and Yrlith seemed better with Magic.

  She hadn’t even used her sword much.

  ‘No, wait. I did decapitate a woman who tried to stab me,’ she remembered.

  She lost her shield at some point. She couldn’t even remember. Was this some test? She was failing if it was. That would only be natural. Thirty-seven and still working the same job she got after college, living with her mother, arguing with her mother, meeting boys, going on dates with boys.

  ‘Holy shit. I’m three years from forty, and still call them boys.’ She poked at her stomach. How many heroes had little paunches like this? Wasn’t she supposed to be slim, sexy, and powerful? That was a Hero, wasn’t it? She shook her head. None of this self-hatred ever got her anywhere on Earth, so why would it be different here? As much as she did not like Daedalus from the start, he at least had the right idea. New world, new self.

  “Enjoying the breeze?” She turned to see Sally and Yrlith, arm in arm, glowing. Toshie smiled. “It’s nice. You two have a nice, er, nap?”

  Sally winked.

  “Shame that Navarin thought that was an excuse to eat our food,” Yrlith compined. “I need to eat something.”

  Sally whispered something into her ear, and Yrlith gave her a pyful sp.

  “How much longer is this trip going to be?” Toshie asked, ignoring them.

  “My guess is another day? Remember that original boat we were on? Same route, different merchant.” Sally took a deep breath. “Sea breeze is pretty gross, isn’t it?”

  Toshie ughed. “Yeah, I’m not a fan. But I needed a break.”

  “Oh, are we bothering you?” Yrlith asked, patting Sally’s back as she coughed up a lung.

  “Nah, I didn’t want to bother you. Want to head back?”

  “Sounds good. This one can’t seem to handle the sea,” Yrlith said, rubbing Sally’s back.

  “I am a delicate Princess, and you shall treat me as such,” Sally said as the two walked back to the staircase.

  Toshie took one more look out to sea. Even if she wasn’t ‘the best Hero’ this nd had seen, she was enjoying herself. Maybe that was enough.