It was three weeks of training, every day, without break. In the morning, they would go to First Fields and eat the delicious breakfast there. Then they would use the practice fields, where they would spar, run the track, and use the weights. There was also a great deal of meditation where Gray would channel mana into the cores of his friends, looking for that spot where he had just enough to fill his own meridians.

  Gray and his squad asked around, very casually, seeing if there were any other teams practicing Chaotica. Blythe’s team was—the Fire Flyers—as was Squad One, renamed the Winners, though it was clear that Pinch didn’t care much for the name. The other five squads, except maybe for Freek’s Wrath City Raiders, seemed not to know what to expect from Soulshred Week. Given that Blythe and Freek were close, Gray figured that Freek’s team was practicing Chaotica in private. It was still a mystery, at least so to him, who had killed Sindara and the dwarf.

  It was strange. After being gone for so long, when Gray and his friends did return to the canteen, no one gave them a second look. The Dame Hekla Blackpaw merely nodded at them, a little smile on her face. Of course, Mama Cinders on the practice field was happy to see them as was Quinnly Quillswrath, who was excited to hear about the book that Tomi had read in Wrath City. When asked about Little Dani Witherhand, the elderly fae simply shrugged. There were a lot of stories about the Fall. Authors—even the historians—liked to make up their own characters to try and paint the most vivid picture they could of the Fall. No one had a good answer to how there had been mana in Alastria. Most thought it was secret dragon magic but that only made Settie laugh.

  Settie seemed more dedicated than ever to them winning, and now that Gray could power his meridians, she had relaxed some. It seemed she’d even forgiven him for poaching.

  So it was surprising when they came back to Ruin Manor and she gave them the news—they would all be moving back to Third Barracks for the week before Soulshred Week began. Settie’s reasoning was simple—she wanted them accustomed to sleeping in the barracks because they wouldn’t have time to come back to Ruin Manor during that week of competition.

  She also told them something that didn’t surprise Gray one bit.

  They were all crowded into the kitchen eating crispy dumplings that Midj had cooked over the stove. It was sleeting outside. A very unwelcome change in the season was coming, and Gray wasn’t looking forward to the snow. He just hoped that the worst of the weather wouldn’t hit while they were trying to play Chaotica. Holding the wet ball was hard enough without adding a layer of ice to it.

  Tomi snorted. “What’s so bad about sleeping in the barracks? Just close your eyes and ignore all the noise. It’s not that difficult.”

  Midj lifted her dumpling. “Don’t make me throw my dinner at you. I will. Should we also ignore the scorpions?”

  “Yes!” Tomi said. “If they’re not actively biting you, they’re not a problem.”

  “They don’t bite,” Ames’s voice was quiet. “They sting you.”

  Gray lifted a hand. “That’s enough. There was something else, Captain?”

  Settie wasn’t eating but she did have her manafied wine. “Yes, thank you precious Gray. This year’s Soulshred Week is going to be more than just Chaotica matches. There will be other events, other challenges, that will disqualify recruits or even entire squads.”

  “What kind of challenges?” Gray asked.

  “Standing in the Ashblood River for eight hours before your match. Maybe climbing to the top of the Hellbinder Barrier. Carrying rocks from one end of First Field to the other. Cooking eggs.”

  “I CAN DO THAT LAST ONE!” Midj yelled triumphantly.

  “Yes.” Settie made a face. “I’m sure you can.”

  Gray closed his eyes. “All is the Testing and all is the Test.”

  “Exactly. They want recruits to drop out.” The captain paused. “Trust me, I would’ve told you all of this sooner, but I only learned of this today. It’s why we’re moving back to the barracks. Your sleep will be limited. We can’t waste time coming all the way back here.”

  Gray smiled. “This is great news. We might not be the only team with less than seven players, but we will be the only team that has prepared to play with five.”

  Tomi sighed. “It’s not great news, precious Gray. Because what if one of us drops out? We can play with four, but scoring would be basically impossible.”

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  “We need five,” Settie said firmly. “I doubt the Magistrate will let us play with less than five. We’d be disqualified. Then, maybe, another squad would recruit you. If that happens, you will have made an enemy for life.”

  “Who would be the enemy?” Midj asked, kind of clueless.

  “Me.” Settie gave her an unyielding glare.

  “Oh.” Midj gulped. “Well, I’m not going to quit. Tomi isn’t either. And Rynn and Gray are tough as nails. We’re in this until the end.”

  “I won’t quit,” Ames said. “I understand pain. Even when it feels impossible to go on. It can’t rain all the time.”

  “It can’t rain all the time,” Gray echoed.

  “Yeah. Right. Whatever.” Tomi rolled her eyes. “Sometimes the rain is sleet or snow and kills you. But death is okay with me because if I wash out here, I have no place else to go.”

  “Death is not fucking okay,” the captain snapped. “None of you are dying.”

  She said it with such force that no one else wanted to say anything for a long, long time.

  * * *

  Gray was sleeping, but he wasn’t sure if his body was back at Ruin Manor or if he was in Third Barracks. He knew where his dreaming self was—he was back in the place of water and stars.

  Finally, he could use his mana to fill his legs with power. Then he could march through the water and get to the shack. His previous dream had ended abruptly when he’d realized he’d made it to the island.

  He was going to get there again.

  “Oma”?

  “Yes, my little dreamer.” Again, the voice seemed to come from everywhere at once.

  He charged his legs with mana.

  He started forward, making progress. “I’m going to get to the island. I’m going to get into the shack.”

  “Yes, little Grayson Fade. Yes, you are.”

  Frankly, he hadn’t expected that.

  He felt like laughing but he was running too hard. His lungs started to burn, but that was good. He sped across the water, going faster and faster. “You’re not going to try and stop me?”

  “Never, my little dreamer. I want you to get there. You have come so far, and you’ve changed so many lives. You and Rynn have created a bond that even the last of the gods have noticed. That may or may not be good.”

  “I don’t want the gods in my life,” he spat. “I have enough trouble with the people.”

  “Like Little Miss Pinch,” the voice whispered. “Maybe she is trouble because all she has known has been trouble. Maybe all the universe weeps when she weeps. Would you show her mercy?”

  “No,” Gray hissed. “Because she wouldn’t show me mercy.”

  It sounded good, but it was a lie. That troublesome fae had saved his life…twice.”

  He was going to fast! He felt so strong! But still, the island and the shack were just as far away as they had been before.

  He stopped running and laughed. “It’s not going to happen tonight, is it?”

  “Patience, little dreamer. The work is in the day not in the future. Perhaps the ultimate self-mastery is finding compassion not only for yourself but also for your enemies.”

  Gray thought of what Blind John would say. “I don’t have enemies, not really. Not even Freek, who thinks I killed Sindara. My real enemy is my reactions to the people, places, and things around me. If I’m not at peace, I am the problem, not them.”

  “Then why do you hate Pinch?”

  “Because she hurt Rynn. Because she hurt me. With how she’s acted, I can’t help but see her as the enemy.” He laughed. “I know, I know, I said I don’t have enemies. I should’ve qualified what I said. I shouldn’t have enemies, but I do. Those fae are my enemies. They’re trying to stop us from winning.”

  “And what happens if you don’t win?”

  Gray didn’t know, but with how powerful he was becoming, he might do some poaching and give the mana to the Widow Stone. The Watchfire Families shouldn’t have total control over hunting demons in the first place. It was just more corruption.

  He had to laugh bitterly. “I guess I’m a long way away from being a wise man like Blind John.”

  “As far as you are from your destination,” the voice agreed. “That’s okay. You are young. Speaking of Blind John, don’t read the letter until after you know.”

  The letter. He’d forgotten. How could he have forgotten?

  He was jerked awake. He was in Third Barracks after all.

  The dream troubled him far more than he would’ve thought. He tossed and turned but he couldn’t get back to sleep.

  He was in his bunk above Rynn with Ames crammed into another bed where the desk and chair had been. They couldn’t do much in the room except sleep and change clothes. At least there weren’t many scorpions. It was probably too cold for them. And make no mistake, it was freezing in their old room. But unlike with the heat, they could bring in blankets to find warmth. Gray rather liked sleeping under the pile of blankets, though he missed reaching out and touching his bonded in the middle of the night.

  Gray lay there, listening to the two women breathe. It was odd now natural it felt for the three of them to be together. There had been no more talk of fire, no more kissing, but Gray thought about it a lot. He wondered if Rynn did as well, but she hadn’t said anything, and he hadn’t felt anything through their bond.

  It was after midnight and quiet. Finally. Freek and his orcs came in around midnight from their time in the Dice Markets. They now didn’t care at all about quiet hours, but with their training, they were forced to keep more regular hours.

  The tension in the hallways was bad—gone was the fake comradery and loud greetings. Now, Freek and his orcs just glared at them and muttered insults under their breath. Gray figured that he would have to teach Freek that murdering him was not in his best interest, but for now, Gray ignored the orcs and they ignored him.

  It was a little before dawn, and Gray was tired of lying there. He felt so restless. He got slowly slipped out of bed, and miracle of miracles, he left the room without waking up either woman.

  The hallways were silent but smelly as he made his way down through stairway and out the door and into the misty early morning.

  He immediately started to run, heading for the track.

  He’d gotten past the barracks when he realized he wasn’t alone. Behind him, with her hood pulled over her head, was Pamalee Thornpinch.

  She was the last person in the world he wanted to see, but he figured he would try to get some compassion.

  Trying to become enlightened sure was a pain in the ass.