After filling my stomach to the best of my ability I turned my attention to the whole reason for me to shift back to my true form. Looking at the writing carved into the dirt wall, the setting sun makes the reading easier as the sun is shining directly on it. After spending a few minutes looking for the beginning of it, I eventually found it.
It begins “My name is Garince. I had been exiled from my tribe for bringing a hybrid. I leave these words as a record of my survival.” I move on to what seems to be the next entry in this makeshift journal. “It’s been three days and I have struggled to find food. I can't seem to agree on anything. Some want roots and others want meat and they're at war with each other screaming roaring they won’t be quiet.”
“It’s been two weeks since i awakened and i haven’t been able to eat my fill my i have to force myself to keep all of the food down, why won’t they listen why won’t they let me eat.” Why is he referring to himself or why doesn’t he think of himself wholly. “I can’t sleep, they won’t let me sleep, why won’t they let me sleep?” They keep writing like this, like they aren’t all parts of themselves.
“They abandoned me, me all because of the bastard wolf, the wolf I shouldn't have had. I shouldn't be a hybrid. The wolf needs to die to leave me alone to go to die.” that’s, that’s, horrible why do they hate their wolf why? “My parents told me they were disappointed that they were ashamed to have a hybrid. Why can’t the shamans and elders just cut the wolf out of me then.”
“The wolf won’t let me sleep, the wolf is angry, they're angry at me, at us why they’re the problem” the writing gets more and more shaky and rushed as they go on. What happened to you, Garince. “WHY, wHY Won’t tHe WolF LEave Me ALoNE WhY jUsT WhY.” I slowly bring my hand over the words letting my claws run through the letters and words. “I hAvE FOunD a Way To ReMoVE THe WOLF ForeVeR FiNalLy.” The word wolf is carved jaggedly into the dirt and unlike the others words it was carved clearly consistently with anger and purpose it seems. What did you do after what happened? How did you remove your wolf?
The last sentence is cleaner than the last few but still messy and it has dark brown stains against the words. They take me a moment to realize the cause of the staining. It’s blood, old blood that seeped into the earth. The letters and words are round unlike the sharp lines of the previous entries. “I DID IT THE WOLF IS GONE FINALLY GONE. I’M SO TIRED I'M GOING TO SLEEP, THEN HEAD BACK TO MY TRIBE "I look around at the ground and see a faint old trail of blood at least a few years old just like the last entry written. Then I noticed something small and white pressed into the ground.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
Crouching down to dig into the dirt I dig up the small white piece and realize that it’s bone, a piece of a finger. It looks roughly removed like it was gnawed and broken off. Looking around me I notice many similar bones digging up . It's mostly finger bones, toe bones, and the worst looking of all the bones look similar to the bones in a canine’s tail. Then it finally hits me what Garnice did, how he removed the wolf from himself. I pause myself taking in the discarded bones that were once part of a fellow hybrid. I slowly collect them all, picking them up and putting them inside my pack in hopes of collecting everything. Then I try to follow the blood trail toward where Garnice went to sleep. Maybe he survived. I hope he did, but for the blood to stain this dirt and still be here for a while after the deed he’s probably dead. Taking my time to find the right way to move so that my antlers don’t tear through the earth and get damaged, but eventually I find it.
Garince’s skeleton lays there most of the kin missing but still having some clinging to the bones, the smell not noticeable as it permeated the entire tunnel. I slowly grabbed the bones, noticing that the bones had small nibble marks probably from vermin that could reach the body. Even I have to just stick my hand into the small crevice that Gracie crawled into to go to sleep on his last night. Slowly I put the bones into my pack with the rest of his and I walk back to the last entry in the legacy that he has left into the wall and I carve a simple solemn phrase.
“Here lies Garince he deserved better.” Then I began digging up the dirt underneath my writing. I kept digging before I reached a point that no animal except the most determined and needing will dig this deep. And I slowly place the bones into the dirt before covering it back up. Then once the dirt is back in place and tamped down I just sit down. And stare at where I had just buried the bones then at Garince’s madness and sadness. The thought of this is this going to happen to me, will I be driven mad by me being a hybrid. NO!! I refuse to let that happen to me to ignore any part of myself to blame a part of me that I wasn't expecting, not the bear, elk or firebearer. I am all of them so I will make it happen. No part of me disagrees but they are still there, none of the mixing and feeling of wholeness that the adults describe, but there is some ease. The bear is no longer as angry taking sorrow and calm from the firebearer and elk, the elk is no longer just indifferent to my past now it is shocked and pained taking from my other parts. And finally the firebearer gains some confidence to release some sorrow for what once was and what has come to pass to look more towards the present.
I release a sigh, a content sigh at the feeling of right that comes. It doesn't feel complete but just like my other encounters this is a step forward to my future to surviving these five years and maybe just maybe enjoying my journey ahead. I won’t let this just be an exile because of me being a hybrid. I will make this my journey. I will grow more than those back at the Bellowing Thunder and I will show them all that I am and will become.
