The space where Valar’s soul existed was not dark. He could’ve visualized it just fine, but there simply wasn’t anything to see. The only thing that mattered in the endless expanse of nothingness was his soul, its gate just barely cracked open. Life magic streamed to the expanse, disappearing into the nothingness.

  Valar stood there, looking upon his own soul with a mix of apprehension and wonder. The ball of iridescent light was awe-inducing, but the flaw on its side provoked a feeling of wrongness that Valar wasn’t able to get rid of. The perfect flow of shifting colours broke when it reached the bright red incision upon the soul’s surface, creating glaring imperfections upon something that was supposed to be perfect.

  It’ll get worse when I ascend. I’ll feel that pain once more.

  Valar didn’t know how, but he was absolutely sure of it. The feeling that he got was that the wound would worsen, but the shift wouldn’t be as bad as the initial eruption. Does that even matter? I can’t… I can’t take pain like that!

  The boy found himself between a rock and a hard place. He had two options, but both paths he could walk were abhorrent in their own right. Valar could ascend, experiencing that soul-deep pain—or at least something similar—again… or he could just stop progressing, forever stuck at iron rank. He could stay weak-.

  No.

  Valar ripped the gate to his soul open, and the world went dark.

  Elaine cringed with shared pain as the boy sitting on her floor let out an agonized wail. Tears ran down on her face openly, but she didn’t stop the process of casting she had started mere seconds ago.

  “Firmament Restoration.”

  A green, crackling dome of energy manifested around Valar, who was laying on the floor and experiencing something that looked eerily like a seizure. It was no seizure, however…

  Flames erupted from the boy’s orifices, impacting the dome of life magic surrounding him. They did not pierce through, as Elaine’s spell was more robust than the last time it had faced the boy’s flames. The flames are significantly stronger though… He’ll need a lot of healing.

  She could heal his body, but Elaine feared that it wouldn’t be the only thing needing healing. Her eyesight became blurry due to the amount of tears flowing down her face. The professor of life magic brushed away the tears, but new ones kept coming too fast.

  “I’m sorry, Valar,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry that I can’t help you where it matters most. If you can hear me, just know that I’m here for you… You are not alone.”

  She truly hoped that Valar heard her, she truly did…

  If Valar would’ve had the clarity to think about his actions, he would’ve regretted them. He didn’t, so he just cried, burned and screamed his lungs out. In truth, the actual soul-deep pain that came from his wound opening a bit further had only lasted for the briefest second, but just its echo was enough to drive the teenage boy insane.

  Initially, he saw flames. Then, he saw nothing. Valar’s eyeballs had been scorched badly enough to blind him. Then he had lost his hearing, his touch and eventually even his sense of smell. Still, the echo of pain haunted him badly enough to make him scream his lungs out. Agony had become his world, and he saw no escape.

  Fortunately, escape still came, and his world became darkness once more.

  ...

  Valar knew he was dreaming. Again. He also knew which dream it was… Again.

  Strangely enough, the village he was gazing down at seemed less blurry than previously. He could see the village square just outside of his parent’s home and even a couple of houses around it. Most of the village was still unknown to him, but at least it was something.

  He saw himself and his parents once more as well. His mother was clear to see as always, and that was good. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if he had lost that memory too…

  The clearest difference was in his father: His face wasn’t blurry anymore. Valar’s father’s eyes were green, and he sported the rough look of a veteran soldier. The boy couldn’t inspect his aura in the strange dreamscape, but if one thing was certain, it was that his father was no iron ranker.

  The man was on the taller side, and his deep brown hair was clearly overgrown. His beard was no better, although the facial hair amplified his rugged look. He was dressed in plain clothes just like his mother, although a set of leather armour could be seen in the dining room’s far corner. In that same corner lay a robe…

  A mage’s robe? Was my mother… a mage as well? But why did we live in a shitty village then?

  Unfortunately, time waited for no one, even in Valar’s own dream. The young life mage had no time to consider his background further. As his dream progressed, young Valar was laid to bed, and his mother told the boy the story he liked most. From there, the differences were only slight ones.

  Valar looked on as his younger self wandered out from the window in his room and into the village square. He gazed on himself when an entirely too fast object impacted the young boy, and saw the exact same things as always. A man of light, a burning village and darkness.

  I hate this dream…

  ...

  Usually when Valar woke up, he would be groggy for a few minutes, gathering himself for the coming day. His mind would still be half asleep, and getting up was hard. Not today.

  As soon as his eyes opened, everything returned like a raging tsunami hitting his mind. Valar didn’t have the time to rush to the trashcan in the corner of the room, so he retched on the floor instead.

  Elaine was there to catch his bile, trashcan in hand, at gold ranked speed. Evidently, she had been watching over Valar as he slept.

  “Good morning…” she started. “How did you sleep?”

  Valar threw up again.

  “Okay, so not that well,” Elaine seemed to be looking for words, failing miserably.

  Valar didn’t want to worry her any further, so he gathered his thoughts and spoke. “It was bad, Elaine… Really bad.”

  Just skirting around the subject of their discussion made Valar shiver involuntarily. Forcibly avoiding a matter like this was futile, and his mind kept returning to the pain he had experienced before he fell unconscious.

  “Has it… worsened?” Elaine asked tentatively.

  My soul… The wound… pain… PAIN!

  Valar fell into tears.

  It took a long while for Elaine to calm down the boy enough for them to continue their discussion, and any further talking Valar did was from a curled up position on the comfortable sofa. She brushed his back in soothing strokes until his sobs quieted down, then started talking—her hand never leaving the boy’s sweat-soaked back.

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  “If I remember correctly, your team leader recommended a healer that specializes in the mind for you, right?”

  Valar nodded, so she continued.

  “I think you should maybe visit her soon. ‘Soon’ meaning today or tomorrow…”

  Nod.

  “I’m sorry that we can’t find a soul-.”

  Every muscle in Valar’s body tensed up and the totality of his will was devoted to holding back his fire. It was almost like the fire had a will of its own, wanting to burn everything around him to ashes. Also, there was a lot more of it to go around. A lot.

  “Okay, that was a bad word…” Elaine’s hand twitched on his back, but she didn’t take it off. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “I… I think so,” Valar answered. “I’m not sure, but speaking about it with someone could help. It’s just too fresh right now.”

  “That’s alright,” Elaine sighed. “You can stay in my office, but I can take you back to your room as well. Which one do you want?”

  Valar didn’t have to think for long. I don’t want to be alone right now… “Here, please.”

  “Alright, I can do that. Do you think you’ll be fine if I pop out quickly to get some food and inquire about the mind healer?”

  “I’ll be fine,” Valar murmured. Of course I’ll be fine; I’m not a child!

  As it turned out, he was not fine with that…

  As soon as the door closed behind Elaine, Valar’s heart started beating faster and faster and his breathing quickened. The walls seemed like they were falling down on him, and he curled back up in a fetal position. It’s not real, It’s not real, It’s not real…

  He could do nothing but weep and hope that Elaine would return soon.

  The instant the door shut behind her, Elaine moved.

  This is not the time to dally!

  Based on the limited knowledge she had on afflictions of the mind, Valar was most likely already spiraling into a panic attack. I’m not going to have time to get food, am I?

  The life mage ran through the academy at gold rank speed, flashing her faculty badge every time the alarms started to activate. The academy wasn’t designed with high ranked travel speeds in mind, but this was an emergency. She blazed down the stairs, through the skybridge and out of the entrance building in record time, continuing her highly illegal maneuvers through the noble district’s streets.

  Technically, traveling at unreasonably high speeds through the city was illegal. That being said, the low ranked guard weren’t going to do anything about it unless the offender harmed others on their way. Especially if they were at gold rank or above…

  Fortunately, Elaine had a good idea on where she could find this ‘mind healer’ Valar had been speaking of. She knew her own past students pretty well, after all.

  Her steps finally slowed when she reached a particular building in the merchant’s district. The private clinic she had been aiming for wasn’t big compared to the shops around it, but it outshined most of them with its sheer opulence. Healers—either those who worked for the nation or private entrepreneurs—were pretty much never poor people. How could you fail as a business when you sold the essence of life itself?

  Elaine rocketed through the entrance, nearly blowing the reinforced door off from its hinges. The front desk clerk had practically no time to react before the imposing woman stood in front of him. “Which room is Felicia’s?”

  The iron rank man in front of her swallowed loudly and pointed up. “2nd floor, room 26.”

  She vanished in an instant, ascending the stairs in only a brief second. The following slam on Felicia Tiller’s door could be heard all the way in the neighbouring shops.

  Quite unlike the woman knocking on the door, the one inside the office listened quickly and was there to open the door just before Elaine ‘knocked’ again.

  “What is-.” Felicia started, then rethought her words. “Professor Livren, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

  “I have a patient for you, Felicia,” Elaine said, her tone shaking despite her best efforts. “He requires extreme confidentiality, and I wouldn’t normally come to you with this case, but…”

  “But?” The bronze ranked woman in the middle of her 20s raised one eyebrow in question.

  “He’s in bad shape. And I mean bad…” The professor’s voice broke a little. “I can’t help him… Actually, I’m not exactly sure you can either, but you’re the best shot I’ve got.”

  “Problem of the mind?”

  Elaine nodded.

  “Then lead me to him. I’m ready to go whenever-. WHOA!”

  Elaine was already out of the door, carrying Felicia in a princess carry.

  I’m not letting Valar suffer for a second more than he already has!

  Valar’s endless dark spiral shattered into a million pieces when the door finally opened again. She came back… She didn’t leave me alone!

  “So he’s my patient?” Valar turned his head, looking for the unknown female voice.

  It seemed like Elaine had brought reinforcements. The woman that walked in beside the professor of life magic was a bronze rank woman on the shorter side. Her blonde, almost platinum hair was tied in a bun and her bright blue eyes were pointed straight at him. The young woman, most likely in the middle of her 20s, wore no makeup that Valar could see, differing from the nobility prancing around the city by quite a bit.

  Interestingly enough, she didn’t wear a mage’s robe despite her clear occupation as a healer and life mage. Instead, she wore a white blouse and straight beige pants that stretched all the way over her ankles.

  The healer’s lips were twisted in a small frown as her eyes roved over Valar’s curled up form. The young woman’s eyebrows lifted in clear surprise when she inspected Valar, but she didn’t say anything.

  “Yes,” Elaine nodded, her worried eyes roving over Valar just as the shorter woman’s. “Valar, meet Felicia Tiller, the foremost, and most likely only, expert on mental health in the nation.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Valar,” Felicia took over and moved further into the office. “As for you Elaine, could you leave us alone, please? Patient-healer confidentiality and all, you see…”

  When the life magic professor’s expression twisted into a worried frown, Felicia made a quick gesture, shooing the older woman away. “My sessions are one-on-one, not some public forums. Scram!”

  “Can you control yourself, Valar?” Elaine asked tentatively. “I wouldn’t want to endanger-.”

  “Shoo! Go get us food or something!” The young woman practically pushed the gold ranker out from the door, slamming the door shut in her face. As soon as Elaine was outside, she pulled out a small object from her jacket. When she noticed Valar’s questioning gaze, Felicia explained herself. “This is a bronze rank enchanted item designed to distort sound around us. It’s not perfect, but it should be enough to remove the threat of any eavesdroppers.”

  “Oh, that’s… nice.” Valar couldn’t muster up any excitement in his voice.

  “Yes, it is,” the healer nodded. “It is indeed… Valar, was it?”

  He nodded tiredly, almost ready to go back to sleep then and there. Sleep felt nice, nightmares and all…

  “Well then, Valar,” Felicia walked to Elaine’s desk and dragged her chair out so that she could sit opposite of the boy. “Would I be right to assume that you’re not doing so well right now?”

  “You could say that,” Valar nodded, then shivered. “Look, I know you’re a professional and all, but…”

  I don’t know you…

  “You don’t know me?” Felicia asked, the corner of her mouth rising in a small smirk when Valar’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “That’s usually what all my patients say when they meet me for the first time. Do you want to get to know me? I can tell you a bit about myself, if that’ll soothe your nerves.”

  “That… That’d actually be pretty nice, I think.” Valar was surprised to find out that he actually wanted to get to know this woman. She was a complete stranger, but everything about her seemed like a calm forest breeze, reminding him of the first time he had seen the forest. Maybe I should inspect her first.

  Valar’s eyes flashed emerald green, and he gasped. “What in the abyss is this…?”

  Felicia Tiller’s aura was nothing like Valar had ever seen before. Usually, people subconsciously kept their auras near their actual bodies, almost like they were shielding themselves from the outside world. It was completely natural, as hardly anyone would be trusting enough to lay their aura bare in front of every stranger they met. While you would be hard pressed to find out anything specific about a person by just their aura, it changed based on the person’s emotions. Laying out your aura essentially meant telling the whole world around you what you were feeling, so nobody did it.

  The healer in front of Valar’s eyes was an exception to the rule.

  Felicia’s aura was like an open book, allowing anyone—even complete novices like Valar—to read her emotional state with haunting precision. Right now she was apprehensive and excited, but the apprehension was rapidly lessening in favor of the excitement and a burgeoning curiosity.

  Valar could only come up with one question. “Why?”

  The young woman smiled, her eyes glinting with the excitement Valar could feel from her aura. “Do you know what’s the most important thing for a healer like me?”

  He could only shake his head. Valar had no clue what the weird woman was getting at.

  “Trust,” Felicia smiled, putting her left hand over her heart. “For a mental health specialist like me, trust is the most important concept around, bar none. If my patient can’t trust me, they can’t convey what they truly feel to me. In a field like mine, where useful spells are few and far between, conversation plays a much more important role. Even further, the few spells that I have require a deep level of trust from my patient. Otherwise their aura will fight against my will, making delicate spellcraft essentially impossible. If I want to help you, I must first provide a reason for you to trust me. Baring my aura like this acts as a good first step, although only a good discussion can take us to the finish line. So, I ask you this Valar…”

  Felicia extended her hand, smiling brightly at the boy. “Do you want to have a discussion with me?”

  You know what… “I… I think I do.”