Chapter 48: The Sense of Superiority in Intelligence
Chongzhen 1st Year
February 26th.
Early morning.
After the loudest song of praise, another high-pitched song was sung before the meeting began. Then, the ministers started spitting at each other. You said I'm wrong, I said you're a fool; this wasn't done well, that wasn't right either; one said so-and-so is a good person and should be promoted, while another said so-and-so is a fool and should be sent to the army. Anyway, the morning court was complicated, noisy, and chaotic.
Yang Reform pretended not to see it, for these people's mutual spitting behavior, Yang Reform had seen a lot of it before. In those years when watching others spit on the internet, it was more severe and happier than here. The water splashing up, really called a high one. These people's standard of spitting, is only second-rate after all! The skill of splashing water has not arrived home yet!
The officials were not fools either. After seeing that the emperor's heart was not in it, they stopped talking nonsense. They knew that even if they talked nonsense, it would be useless. In the palace, there was no place to refill water, and if they talked too much, their mouths would dry out and they would feel uncomfortable. So, they stopped again and stared at Yang Reform with eager eyes.
Yang's reform today was well-prepared, he thought about it all night yesterday and was busy again this morning, just waiting for these people to exhaust themselves before taking the stage.
……
"My dear sirs, why don't you continue? I'm delighted to hear it!......" Yang's mood was not bad.
The officials below whispered: The emperor's complexion is not bad today. Is he going to make another absurd statement? Hmm, delighted? Are we just going to get a "delighted" from him after our enthusiastic spitting of water?
"A few days ago, I suddenly discovered something very interesting and was going to share it with all of you concubines. But then I saw that all of you were also 'spraying'... Oh, I'm getting tired too, so I'll let all of you rest for a bit before continuing..." Yang accidentally blurted out the word "spray".
The officials below are not on the same page, if it weren't for the emperor being high and above, they would probably grab the emperor's collar to PK. We work tirelessly for the country and people, our mouths are dry from speaking, we don't even have saliva left, yet you, Emperor, tell us to take a break and come back later. This is really too much.
……
One official finally could not bear it, jumped out and memorialized: "I beg to report to Your Majesty, all the ministers are for the country and the people, dedicating themselves to their work without complaint of hardship. How can Your Majesty interrupt them in the middle and play tricks on the court?"
Yang was surprised by the reform, how did it get to my head? It seems that this is still a word official, criticizing the emperor is their duty. I'm also doing this for your own good, take a rest and recover your combat effectiveness, so you can fight better! How did it get to my head? Since that's the case, then you continue fighting.
"Hmm, this lord is absolutely right. I shouldn't be joking around on the imperial court, so you all continue...” Yang Reform was sitting down anyway and had tea to drink, he didn't mind watching these people continue standing there spouting nonsense.
……
Among the ministers below, some are so angry that they have been scolding for a long time, foaming at the mouth, and their legs are numb. Originally, we thought that Your Majesty would let us rest, which is also considerate of us. As a result, you little brat won't let us rest. Alright, since we can't rest, tomorrow we'll find an excuse to make you take a break.
Under the fiery gaze of a group of ministers, this official who came out to oppose Yang's reform "frivolity" realized that he had made a big mistake. He immediately panicked and stood among the ministers in a daze, looking very desolate.
……
Another burst of spitting, and the saliva of the officials was really dry, and they couldn't spit anymore. So, once again, they stopped, staring at the emperor with eager eyes.
"Let's take a rest, dear subject. Even I feel tired just sitting here."
Yang's reform speech was finished, and the officials below all nodded continuously, indicating that they needed a rest. If they didn't take a break, they would be "rested" instead. No one dared to jump out and oppose it again.
"Since all of you, my dear officials, have expressed a desire to take a rest, then let us take a rest. It just so happens that I have something here that is quite novel and interesting; why don't we all go together and enjoy it with me, and also dispel our fatigue."
The ministers all stretched their necks to see what the emperor would come up with. Generally speaking, it's unlikely to be good news.
……
Several small eunuchs, each holding a tray covered with silk, came to the middle of the minister and lifted the silk. Inside were many white jade balls and some green jade balls, all of which were slightly larger than an egg.
The connoisseur present at the scene immediately praised: "I report to Your Majesty, this is indeed a rare good jade! Pure white without blemish, fine texture, moist luster, like condensed fat, it's really top-grade sheep fat jade. Your Majesty, I don't know if what I said is correct?"
This minister is also a connoisseur, and at a glance, he can see the origin of this jade. It's likely that there are many such items in his family.
……
"......Not bad, not bad, these jade are indeed good jade, truly worthy of being paired with our noble gentlemen's virtues: benevolence, righteousness, wisdom, bravery, and purity......" This person still thought that the emperor would bring out so many white jade balls to reward everyone, hoping that everyone would become a virtuous "gentleman" or "good person".
……
"Good jade, good jade..."
……
Among a dozen flatterers, Yang Reform sneered in his heart: Can you guys be considered gentlemen? Are you worthy of benevolence, righteousness, wisdom, bravery, and purity? What suits you best is probably: despicable, shameless, vulgar, brain-dead. Despicable means thinking about harming your teammates every day, shameless means relying on others to sacrifice their lives to protect yours while withholding their wages, vulgar means using other people's hard-earned money for XXX, and brain-dead means ultimately killing yourself.
……
"Not bad, this is indeed a white jade ball made of sheep fat jade, and the green one is made of emerald. Can you all see the numbers written on it?"
The ministers went to see the numbers written on the ball again, and indeed there were "three, one four, three three..." Some of the ministers even read them out loud.
"Gentlemen, you have all seen that these balls are numbered. The white balls are numbered from 1 to 33, a total of 33. The green balls are numbered from 1 to 16, a total of 16."
"We have all seen through it, Your Majesty...". A group of ministers really didn't know what the emperor was up to. Wasn't he asking us to divide these jade balls? If we divided them all, there wouldn't be enough people, so would it be a trick like "two peaches killing three knights"? Since there aren't enough balls, they have to fight over them, and the emperor takes advantage of the situation? Hmm, next time we'll definitely not play along with these balls, then the emperor's trick won't work. Our IQ is quite high...
……
"Ah, very well, I have already selected seven numbers in advance. The first six are the numbers on the white balls, and the last one is the number on the green ball... Ah, very well, you all try to see who can pick out the same numbers as me. Whoever can will be rewarded with 20,000 taels of silver, what do you think?..." Yang Reform said with a smile, feeling quite pleased with himself.
"What! 20,000 taels of white silver?" Some officials couldn't help but exclaim, the temptation of this silver was just too great. One game and a reward of 20,000 taels of white silver, the Emperor was truly generous! The officials didn't say anything about the Emperor being a foolish ruler or neglecting his duties anymore. They were all blinded by the silver, thinking that they would win the Emperor's silver later, this was a legitimate and rightful income. What a huge sum of money!
……
"Since no one objects, let's start our game. Later when we're having fun, each of you will write down the number you think is correct on a piece of paper. Once everyone has finished, I'll announce my chosen number. If it matches mine, I'll reward him with 20,000 taels of silver. It's that simple, what do you all think?" Yang Reform explained with a smile.
The officials below couldn't wait any longer, twenty thousand taels of silver, will soon win the emperor's pants. Haha. Not a single person came out to oppose, first because they were too tired and wanted to rest, second because the silver was too much, dizzying them.
"Alright, let's begin, gentlemen. I'll have paper and ink ready for you." Yang Reform was delighted in his heart, bursting into loud laughter. You bunch of pigs, playing with me? You're going to be played to death! With over a hundred people, do you think you can win the dual-color ball in the Welfare Lottery? Go ahead and play for a thousand years! Haha, thinking of winning my money? No way. The Chinese Welfare Lottery won't let that happen.
"Yes, Your Majesty..." Wang Chengen turned around and arranged for a group of small eunuchs to hold paper, pen, and ink to serve these dignitaries playing games.
……
Before long, all the high-ranking officials, whether they were delighted, excited, reluctant, embarrassed or a bit awkward, had written down their chosen numbers. If they won, it would be 20,000 taels of silver, but if not, it was just a game between ruler and ministers, nothing to make a fuss about.
……
"Have all of you gentlemen made your choices? Then I shall announce the number I have chosen......" Yang handed a piece of paper to Wang Cheng'en.
Wang Chengen took it over, held it in his hand, and read it out loud: "The first digit is one, the second digit is two, the third digit is three, the seventh digit is one..."
Wang Chengen read out the first number, some officials looked worried and gloomy, guessing that they hadn't won, while others smiled with joy, guessing that they had won.
When Wang Chengen read out the second number, many officials looked worried and only a few were still excited, guessing that they had won.
When Wang Chengen recited the third digit, most of them were not correct.
When Wang Chengen reached the fourth digit, no one was smiling anymore.
Wang Chengen silently recited all seven numbers. The crowd of officials was silent, not a single one correct. All were worried and gloomy. Thinking to themselves, if only they could play again, if only they could choose correctly. This is 20,000 taels of silver! The gambler's mentality had taken hold, and what's more, it didn't even require any capital.
……
"How is it that none of you have chosen the same number as I?"
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"We, your ministers, have not chosen...," all the high officials replied in unison.
……
"Would you gentlemen like to play again?" Yang Reform smiled, feeling secretly pleased with himself, facing this group of pigs whose brains only had room for silver, feeling that his IQ was truly superior. This was really fun, he felt exceptionally pleased with himself, this 21st-century carefully designed double-color ball, even if your IQ evolved a hundred times, you still wouldn't be able to grasp the trick, even if I let you play a thousand times, you wouldn't be able to guess correctly.
A group of ministers were too embarrassed to say they wanted to play again, how embarrassing and humiliating. But there was also a money-obsessed one who actually said out loud: "Want to play again..." Just after finishing speaking, he realized his behavior was humiliating, causing the crowd of ministers to cast sideways glances.
"Heh heh, since all of you dear officials still want to play again, then let's continue. I'll write another set of numbers and you can choose again. See if your numbers match mine or not. The 20,000 taels of white silver are still valid, no joking around." Yang Reform was extremely delighted, laughing and playing the game with this group of pigs.
……
The ministers who were still a bit awkward and hesitant earlier have started writing their own numbers again, with some people studying the "lottery" effect of the last time and feeling that they cannot write the same as the last time.
Yang Reform also wrote a set of numbers and waited for the ink to dry before handing it over to Wang Chengen to read.
"The first digit is three one..."
Most of the officials below were disappointed and worried.
"The second digit is two, twenty-two..."
Most of the officials have lost all hope now.
"The third digit is twenty-six..."
It's over, it's over, the ministers have all quieted down. Quietly waiting for Wang Chengen to finish reading, after finishing, looking at the emperor who can still play once more, this is too stimulating.
……
"How, none of you can win it? And these 20,000 taels of silver, none of you can take them away?... Hehe, do you gentlemen want to try again? Yang Reform started tempting these pigs again. The Double Color Ball has a probability of winning of less than one in tens of billions, or at most one in hundreds of millions. If you want to win, relying on the people in this hall, it's estimated that after hundreds of years, you might win. Yang Reform felt a sense of superiority about his own intelligence. He was secretly delighted."
This time, it's not just a few ministers shouting "think" like a gambler who has lost his mind, eager to start the next round, anyway, this doesn't cost anything. So, the third double-color ball started again.
……
The result is predictable.
"...Want to come again?..."
……
"...think..."
……
"...Want to try it again?..."
……
"...think..."
……
It wasn't until the sun was about to set in the afternoon that the officials finally remembered, with rumbling stomachs, that it was time to end the court session. One by one, they emerged with flushed faces and tears streaming down, not a few of them covering their faces with their sleeves, utterly humiliated.
After this group of officials left, Yang Reform sat alone on the dragon chair in the great hall, laughing loudly.
Walking under the twilight of the Forbidden City, Yang Reform happily came up with a poem: Imperial Palace! You are really golden and magnificent, that splendor!
Hehe, a new week has begun, and the success of my new book depends on everyone's support.
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