“I'm a Sinner.”

  Those words came from a boy in a small bathroom lit by a soft, dim light.

  He leaned his hands on the sink, staring at himself in the large mirror.

  He wore a short-sleeved black t-shirt. His hands were wet, probably from just washing them. In the mirror, he gazed at his reflection with a cold expression.

  His eyes were blue, as blue as the sea, inherited from his father. His hair reached his shoulders and was silver in color.

  With these features, he could have been a very pretty girl, but he was a boy with a well-built body. He wasn't overly muscular, but he was strong. Not too thin, not too fat—just right in the middle, at his ideal weight.

  “Kaelis, you're going to be late for school. You should get out of the bathroom quickly.”

  From outside the bathroom, through the door gap, came a high-pitched woman's voice. It was his mother.

  With a voice that wasn't too deep but clearly male, he responded to her advice.

  “One minute, I'm coming out.”

  The boy's name was Kaelis, as his mother had said. It wasn't a very bold name, but he didn't mind it.

  Kaelis brought his hands to the towel and dried them. He put on the blue school uniform hanging on the hanger behind him. He checked himself one last time in the bathroom. He looked quite handsome, but his face never smiled—he just stared blankly.

  ****

  Their house was a two-story detached home. It was in a part of the city that used to be very busy but had quieted down lately. The house wasn't small, but it wasn't a mansion either—just above average, something a family with decent income could afford.

  His mother and father were regular office workers; they couldn't afford such a house on their own. It had been inherited from his grandfather. His grandfather was a beloved doctor in the city. He had passed away long ago. Most of the elders on his father's side were no longer alive.

  On his mother's side, they seemed sworn to live forever—all were still around. On special days, he visited them with his parents. Family relations weren't great. He wasn't very talkative, including with his mom and dad.

  Kaelis went downstairs. Before leaving through the door, he glanced at the shoe rack for his shoes.

  There were a lot of shoes. He and his father didn't like shopping much, but his mother did. She had a habit of buying things on sale. She often advised Kaelis to pick up the same habit.

  He grabbed his black shoes and put them on. Before leaving the house, he looked at himself one last time in the full-length mirror. Kaelis might have turned looking good into an obsession.

  Black stylish shoes, black sweatpants underneath, a black t-shirt—guess he loved black a lot—and finally, the long-sleeved blue school jacket. He buttoned one of the two buttons on the uniform and headed to the door.

  He reached for the doorknob and wanted to say goodbye one last time before leaving. But those words didn't come out.

  “I'm leaving.”

  From the kitchen came a deep, resonant voice.

  “Take care of yourself.”

  That was his father; only three people lived in the house, so no one else. Anyway, that deep, full voice couldn't belong to a woman.

  ****

  Kaelis usually preferred walking to school. It wasn't too far—about 20 minutes on foot. This way, he got his morning walk in.

  Kaelis was like a machine—was there a better word to describe his life? He woke up at the same time every morning. Took care of his bathroom needs. Went down to the kitchen, prepared and ate breakfast. Then, he'd brew tea for his parents who woke up after him. Finally, he'd go to the bathroom to put on his school clothes and handle any last needs.

  Kaelis's steps were very straight and orderly. For someone who cared so much about his appearance, showing this discipline outside wasn't surprising.

  Kaelis looked around outside. He had just left his street, similar to their house, and entered an area with more gardens or parks than buildings. His school was in this direction. Having seen this view thousands of times, it didn't interest him much.

  ****

  He entered the school gate. Some students around him looked at him and whispered among themselves. It was expected—Kaelis was the top student in the school, even in the district. There were even sayings among students like success was what everyone wanted, but only Kaelis achieved it.

  He went up to the floor where his class was. He walked slowly to the door and opened it. What he saw inside was no different. There was a group of girls who arrived before him and a group of boys loudly talking about sports or whatever was trending.

  Kaelis headed to his desk. It was the second-to-last seat by the wall. He pulled out the chair and sat down. He placed his bag. He checked the time, but unfortunately, there was more than half an hour until classes started. It wasn't a problem for Kaelis. He was always punctual, arriving at this time.

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  Approaching Kaelis was someone dressed similarly, but with wrinkled and slightly dirty clothes—an average-looking, ordinary student profile. That person was Brain, the current leader of the boys' group—it was normal to call him that. He started speaking quietly.

  “Kaelis, good morning.”

  Kaelis turned his head toward Brain. Brain looked at Kaelis with hopeful eyes. Kaelis already knew what he was hoping for because it had been happening for the last three years. Still, without missing a beat, he replied with his usual politeness and cool tone.

  “Good morning, Brain. How's it going?”

  “Pretty good, glad you asked.”

  Brain was beating around the bush again. Hadn't he gotten tired of doing the same thing every day? Who knows, but he continued his usual behavior. His cheeks had turned a bit red, probably from embarrassment.

  “Can I have your math homework? Uh, I forgot to do it.”

  “Alright.”

  Kaelis rummaged through his bag and pulled out his math notebook, handing it to Brain. Brain was obviously thrilled, fidgeting with joy. But was it normal to be this happy about something so predictable? After all, Kaelis wasn't going to refuse him.

  “Here it is.”

  “You're a lifesaver, thanks a lot.”

  Brain took the book and went back to his friends. They looked happy seeing the notebook and started acting like they were celebrating something.

  Kaelis looked ahead. Just at his wooden desk... he stared and stared more. Was something going through his mind? Had he drifted into the past, stuck in the corridor of memories again?

  Kaelis thought to himself.

  — Lifesaver, huh? He's been saying that for a long time, but every time it pulls me back here. I wish I was a real lifesaver, instead of a sinner...

  ****

  Kaelis's last name was Varn, from his father. So they were called the Varn family. The Varn family had lived in the same house for over 10 years. Their home was known as the Varn house.

  Three years ago, on an April morning, at the Varn family home. Kaelis was at the computer, still in the blue sweatpants he'd slept in. Wrinkled blue sweatpants and messy, unkempt black hair. There was no resemblance to the current Kaelis, but that was him back then.

  The Varn family was a nuclear family of four: mother, father, and two children—one girl, one boy. That day, only the kids were home.

  Kaelis continued playing his game loudly at the computer. Then his door knocked. He yelled loudly, "Come in!" The door opened slowly and gently. It was his 11-year-old sister, Bethany.

  Bethany had long silver hair. It was so long it reached below her shoulders. Despite her long hair, compared to her brother's medium-length black hair at the time, she was very neat, straight, and stylish. Her eyes were sea blue, like her father and brother's. Instead of sweatpants she'd slept in, she wore clean, ironed casual clothes.

  Compared to his sister, Kaelis looked like a homeless person. He started speaking in a mocking tone.

  “I'm listening, milady.”

  Bethany, without flinching, replied to her brother while maintaining her superiority.

  “Big brother, there's no pudding left at home.”

  “So? I'm not a god you know, I can't create it. Sorry, can't help you there.”

  “Big brother, I couldn't check the upper kitchen cabinets. Can you?”

  “You managed to give me another task, you little one. Alright, you win. Let's check.”

  “I'm going downstairs. Please don't make me wait too long.”

  Bethany went down, and Kaelis was still trying to wake up fully.

  In the kitchen were Kaelis and Bethany. Bethany looked at her brother curiously. Meanwhile, Kaelis was checking the upper kitchen cabinets. But it was in vain; no pudding left. Kaelis started speaking to deliver the bad news.

  “Bad luck, no pudding at all. Well, nothing to do then. I'm going upstairs.”

  “Big brother, wait, please don't give up on finding a solution so quickly.”

  Bethany was telling her big brother not to quit the situation right away. Of course, Kaelis wasn't paying much attention. He was still heading toward the stairs to go up.

  “Big brother, look outside, what a beautiful day.”

  Kaelis looked out the window. It really was a sunny, nice April morning. Bethany continued her words.

  “Big brother, can I go to the market and buy some?”

  The little girl was trying every way to fulfill her wish. It was a simple request. Kaelis turned toward Bethany. He seemed like he was thinking something, as if remembering something from the past.

  ***

  “Kaelis, we'll be away from home for two days due to work demands.”

  This was a conversation at the shoe rack by the front door inside their house, with his mother and father. Kaelis was watching them prepare in a hurry. Kaelis hadn't slept all night; sleepiness weighed on him, and he leaned on the wall for support. It was his mother giving him these instructions.

  “Got it, Mom. I'll watch the house and not mess it up too much.”

  “What you need to watch isn't just the house, Kaelis.”

  His father, with a deep and resonant voice, responded to Kaelis's sentence.

  “You mean Bethany? She's 11 now, I think she can take care of herself.”

  “She's still younger than you, and she's a girl, plus your sister.”

  “Listen to me, my son, sometimes as a male, you might need to take responsibility. This is a time to take responsibility both as a brother and as a male.”

  “——”

  “You know how crowded it gets here on weekends. Neither of you leave the house.”

  “Is that what you mean by responsibility?”

  “You'll take on big responsibilities in later years; start with the small ones now.’

  Kaelis's father replied proudly. Meanwhile, his mother had put on her shoes, and they were about to leave. So they headed to the door.

  “Take care of yourselves.”

  “You too, Mom and Dad.”

  Kaelis thought everything was a game, so he didn't take anything seriously. He probably wouldn't reach the maturity his little sister had at that age for many years.

  ***

  Kaelis shook his head. He had left the corridor of memories in his mind. He shook his head side to side and tried to compose himself. Meanwhile, his little sister asked worriedly.

  “Big brother, are you okay? Is something wrong?”

  Kaelis replied to Bethany a bit angrily and loudly.

  “I'm fine, but what about you? Do you realize it's the weekend? Do you know where we live? If you do, why ask such questions?”

  Kaelis had asked the little girl a bunch of questions at once. Bethany looked confused at first, then replied with a confident and sweet voice. Actually, she made a suggestion.

  “Big brother, I'll really be careful outside. What could happen on such a nice day? I'll be much more careful than usual.”

  Kaelis wasn't usually very serious, but when it came to his sister, everything changed. He could even become overly protective. Kaelis was going to refuse, but he was affected by the hope and sparkle in his sister's eyes. He started thinking to himself.

  She's 11 now, and she's right, it's really nice outside. I don't want to break her heart, and she promised to be very careful. If I allow it just once, nothing will happen.

  “Alright, but you'll be very careful.”

  “Sure big brother, yippee!”

  Bethany jumped for joy. Kaelis put the necessary money on the dresser and started going upstairs himself. As he went up, the house door opened and closed. This showed Bethany had left the house.

  Kaelis went upstairs and put on his freshly washed black t-shirt and blue pants. He had just gotten ready. Even putting on clothes took him a while. Kaelis was really slothful.

  He went down the stairs slowly. He had left money on the dresser next to the shoe rack for the puddings. But the money was still there. Kaelis said with a slightly surprised tone.

  “Did she forget the money? How much time has passed? She should have come back by now to get it.”

  There was no one to answer Kaelis's self-questions. He took the key from the dresser's drawer and grabbed a long-sleeved jacket. Then he headed to the door and went out.

  In this sunny weather, a long-sleeved jacket was unnecessary, but since it wasn't thick, it felt warm. Kaelis headed toward the market.

  The street was really crowded. Leaving their street led to a boulevard with big apartments, where most of the city had businesses. Cars passed slowly on the road because they preferred slow traffic over getting stuck.

  Kaelis walked a bit. The market was a bit far from their house, and he hadn't gone in a long time, so he didn't remember the distance exactly. He still hadn't run into Bethany, which ignited a feeling of worry inside him.

  This fire grew with every step he took. Kaelis couldn't take it anymore. He started running. A bit further, at the crosswalk, he saw way more people on the boulevard than usual. It was like a crowd had gathered around something, staring.

  The fire in Kaelis's heart had now engulfed it. He put his hand on his chest and held it. Then, with his last strength, he started running. He pushed the crowd aside with his hands. He had to reach the center. He pushed and pushed. Finally, he reached the middle.

  The fire in his heart suddenly went out because he no longer had a heart to burn. Kaelis's face filled with fear and worry. The thing on the ground... silver hair painted with blood, white dress dirtied—an angel. Kaelis fell to the ground and with his last strength, held that angel in his arms.

  “Bethany! Bethany! Answer me, Bethany!!!!”

  But it was too late now. Bethany had closed her eyes, never to open again.

  Kaelis looked one last time at his sister's silver hair and her body. Then tears started flowing from his eyes, enough to blur his vision. Kaelis's tears were slowly cleaning the blood stains on Bethany's face...

  The Varn family had lost one of their children that day. But Bethany wasn't just a child. She was the angel of their home, her friends' favorite, her school's top student, talented in sports, smart, and a hardworking girl. All these qualities had changed in one day to a dead child.

  This was Kaelis's first sin. That caused an angel's death. As a sinner aware of his sin, Kaelis had to prevent the world or her surroundings from feeling the absence of an angel. For him, this meant repentance by sacrificing his own life without letting others feel that absence, so God would forgive him.