CHAPTER 10

  “Well,” Becky thinks, “I’m broke and happy. Happily broke. Yep, just Two Broke Girls.

  Ones loaded up with supplies, though. Left all $777 on that counter. Sorry about that. Hope you break even, at least. And that 7 is your lucky number. Thought about leaving a note, but what can you say?

  Took my time on the shopping, too. Wanted to spend all my money just right. Didn’t wanna take too much either. “Seemed unseemly” to be greedy. Especially since God got us in there.

  Shopping strategy? Becky just applied the Rule of 3 she learned in the Girl Scouts.”

  You can live 3 minutes without air.

  OK, got free air.

  Check.

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  You can live 3 hours in a harsh environment without shelter.

  Got one easy-to-set-up pup tent (her random thought: are there “kitten” tents?). Two waterproof gore-tex ponchos, gloves, and socks, waterproof boots, wool socks, wool hats, waterproof sleeping bags. 1st aid kit, bandages, hydrogen peroxide, alcohol, iodine. Needles and thread. Fire starting materials, lighter, magnifying glass, candles, waterproof matches.

  Check.

  You can live 3 days without water.

  Got couple more gallons of water and, more importantly, canteens and containers to carry water. And most importantly of all: a water filter and four (gotta have spares!) of those Life Straws that filter water so good you can drink from a mud puddle. Supposedly. Check.

  You can live 3 weeks without food.

  Becky thinks everybody over-prioritizes this one. Actually, you can live more like 3 months. See holocaust survivors, Nazis Exhibit B.

  Got pans/plates/cups/utensils. Fishing pole, line, hooks, sinkers, corks. Maxed out on dried oatmeal, grits, nuts, lots of jerky and every jar of peanut butter. Things that keep forever. Except no twinkies. And Nutella for dessert. Vitamins, can’t forget vitamins. Two backpacks to carry it all. Barely.

  Check.

  Added her own rule of 3: You can live 3 seconds face-to-face with evil intent.

  See Nazis, Exhibit A.

  Binoculars. Bow with some killer arrows. Machete. Knives. Flamethrower (just kidding).

  Check.

  “All set, let’s go!”

  Becky’s note to self: This has to be way more than $777. Mail him a check some day? Ha, and some nicotine gum. Damn, I mean double darn Chloe, I forgot cat food. Sorry Pumpkin and…

  “Chloe, what are we going to name her? Whadaya mean she hasn’t picked one yet? How about Midnight? Blacklight? Nightlight? Moonlight? ”

  Speaking of light: Didn’t get any. No lanterns, no flashlights, no light.

  Just get used to it. It’s going to be a dark, dark world.