We'd taken the stairs exactly one minute after the next floor opened, so we got in ahead of everyone who went down early. Rather than appearing outside, we were in a yard under a high, strut-braced dome, like a stadium without the seating. We rushed into the winding ropeline together, her leading the way while I sent over the details of all my new class options.

  The recommended trio this time were Cirque du Soleil Trapeezist, Renommierschmiss Duelist, and Ten Dan Judoka.

  The trapeezist was one I liked a lot. I felt like I'd gotten close to 16 in light on your feet as a Traceuse, and with how incredible a 16 in dodge was, the bonuses to learning acrobatic skills seemed valuable. Lacie convinced me that was unlikely to pay off here but might be good on the next floor.

  The duelist was still tempting, but it was all about melee, and I had gone so hard on my ranged attacks that it would be foolish to switch at this point. Still, with the AI constantly recommending it, Lacie said we were probably missing something.

  There were also a few tempting strength-oriented classes—the strength buff would amp up my damage, and the key skills weren't repeats—most notably the Highland Tosser.

  We were also now getting some martial-arts classes, which might have been good. MMA Superstar, and Olympic (the first ones) Wrestler both seemed really good, but wouldn't pay off if I avoided combat.

  Also, for fairly obvious reasons, Olympic Archer was tempting, but it had too many things that might only apply to bows. If I wanted to amp up my attacks, I'd skip the archer and go with the Pub Darts Afficianado which at least was all about thrown weapons, no gambles involved.

  The tough thing about this was that every single ability had a long description, so it took a while to read them all. We were almost four minutes in when I got through the Judoka abilities.

  Maddy: This Ten-Dan might be really good.

  Lacie: What do the abilities do?

  Maddy: Kaeshi-waza triggers when I dodge, giving me a chance of tripping the opponent, or maybe knocking them flat.

  Lacie: Ah, so that could be good. But we don't know if it hurts them. Wish we knew what Gain the Renommierschmiss meant.

  Maddy: How confident are you of your prior suggestion?

  Lacie: Not so strong, now. I'd recommend Pub Darts Afficianado or Renommierschmiss Duelist, but Ten-Dan Judoka is certainly close. Even if riposte and Kaeshi-Waza are similar, I lean towards the one the AI keeps recommending.

  Maddy: Sorry, Lacie. The darts thing feels like it's all about assassination, and I'm not confident about the aggressive elements of Renommierschmiss Duelist.

  Ten-Dan Judoka

  This class is available because you have attained at least 10 points of dodge.

  It's the mythical art from the mysterious, magical east, where basic physics are used to trip people. But like, real good.

  Level-5 Kaeshi Waza skill.

  Level-5 Soft Fall skill.

  Level-5 Spike skill (already acquired).

  +15 Dexterity.

  +10 Constitution.

  Gain the Sensei benefit.

  Maddy: I didn't get the Nage-Waza one, which is for aggressive takedowns, so that's a big chunk missing. I also didn't get the bonus to dodge, but you said there was no way they'd push me anywhere past 15 with a class, so I was expecting that. Soft fall does exactly what it says on the tin, but kaeshi waza is excellent, and I think sensei might also be good.

  Kaeshi Waza. When someone gives you trouble, you give them trouble back. Be like water. That's actually Bruce Lee, and it's not about judo, but you probably wouldn't know unless I reminded you of that, because you only watch judo once every four years at the Olympics. When you successfully dodge, you have a high chance to apply the Stumble debuff and a low chance to perform a nage waza.

  Maddy: Since I don't have nage waza I can't check that exactly, but it's some sort of term for a judo throw, so flipping them over or something.

  Lacie: We'll find out how good that is when it happens, but don't be fooled: stumble is where it's at. You dodge constantly. Imagine if, 50% of the time you dodge literally any creature, it's distracted for even a tenth of a second.

  Maddy: Alright, yeah. That's good. Now, the other one, which I didn't think through until I re-read it.

  Sensei. Oooh, please teach me senpai. You can choose to train others in a skill you earned to at least twice their skill level (treating their skill as at least 1) during their training-room time. You gain added insights into their skill, increasing based on the level of the training room and how much higher your skill is than theirs. While you are training them, their training rate increases by ((Your Skill / Their Skill) Sensei Skill Level 10)%.

  Lacie: That seems okay.

  Maddy: What's the bonus you get for your 0 dodge to my 15?

  We were still trying to keep secrets from the hunters, so we never said that I was at 16 dodge.

  Lacie: Uh, +150%, but it'll drop quickly. At 3 dodge, you'll be giving +50%

  Maddy: Unless training you to 3 dodge gets me a level of sensei or anything like that. And if I can train you to 5 or 6 dodge, it'll do a lot for your survivability. Besides, I can train you, then do my own training while you're asleep.

  Lacie: Well that sounds like a solid fucking plan. In related news, check out my new patch.

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  The left arm of my letter-checked had gained stick figures of a woman slamming a man into the mat in a judo throw. +5 to the Soft Fall skill (Ten-Dan Judoka patch)

  Maddy: That one's actually really useful!

  We kept walking through the line, our conversation devolving into jokes about her calling me senpai. A minute on, we were into the booths for more options. It popped up, Specialist and Multi-Sport Athlete. I almost panicked when I couldn't message Lacie, but of course this was just the system making me decide alone, not something wrong with her.

  I had to read it all over to figure out what it meant, as I already was the one of those options. They were saying I could choose to specialize and gain any of my prior classes, permanently, but slightly upgraded. That was, obviously, a terrible option. I already had those skills.

  I selected Multi-Sport Athlete and left as the same Ten-Dan Judoka with a boatload of other skills that I'd entered as.

  I stepped out on a rocky promontory overlooking a town in the horseshoe of a river meander. I did a quick reconnoiter and headed back. Two minutes later, Lacie appeared beside me. She was now Crawler Lucille Stevenson 2, Level 34 Berry Witch Mongrel.

  "What does that do?" I asked as I started downhill.

  "I want to be clear how much I am passing up to be in a team with you. The Berry witch, it's all about better buffs. I buff you better, you're better buffed, yay."

  I smiled. "Aw, thanks."

  "But you know what else they had? Thorn witch, lots of damage, maybe a bit tempting. Right? Wrong! No, because the third option was to go from Hedge Witch to HEDGE BITCH."

  "Oh dang."

  "Yeah, that's right, fucking Hedge Bitch." Lacie rested a hand on her heart, titled her head back overdramatically. "But, I accept that I must be the bigger person, that I must make the better choice for the team, and thus I am the anodyne berry witch."

  "What does anodyne mean?"

  "You're ruining my moment!"

  I burst out laughing, and she joined me. Then we were at the town, a little walled ring with Funeral Bell mushroom warriors outside and Bush Elves inside. We gave the minimal pleasantries the locals indicated they wanted and hurried into our personal space.

  "Alright, key steps," Lacie said, immediately taking charge. "First, I have a couple purchases and some stuff to set up. That'll take maybe thirty minutes. Second, you train me in Hide In Shadows, then—"

  "Um, dodge?"

  "Please, trust me."

  I paused, then shrugged and said, "Alright, girlboss."

  Her eyes widened. "I can get that dyed on my clothes."

  "God, what have I done."

  "But, anyways, Hide in Shadows for me, then you train your Find Traps—and before you ask, yes I mean it on that choice too—while I finish the long-run dye job I have going and start the processes I needed this floor for... then we eat, and then and only then is it box-opening time. Alright?"

  "Do we even have any boxes?"

  She quirked an eyebrow.

  "Fine, let's do this."

  Lacie bought some sort of store interface that I ignored—she had finally let me hand my gold over so she could make larger purchases—and upgraded the training room. While she was fiddling with adding random junk for sale—she made me add 700 Oversized Bronze Mechanical Actuator With Panels—I looked around the space.

  "Can you re-arrange the personal space?"

  She paused. "I guess. Why?"

  "It just feels off. It's weird. Can I, like position the bed and the doors and all that? Jack said it was possible."

  "It's supposed to be your space. You tell me where, I'll put things there."

  It took a bit to talk her through it, twitching everything around until it felt right.

  New Achievement! Feng Shui Works!

  Alright, not really. Feng shui's like crystals and Christianity: great if you're into that sorta thing. But in here, Feng Shui works. You've properly arranged your personal space. And you thought those Earth Boxes were useless. Suck it!

  Reward: Buffs granted by spaces in this personal space are 3% more effective. That's 3% of the buff, so that +10% from good rest is now +10.3%. Look, it was a freebie box. Say thanks and get on with your life.

  "Wow, cool," Lacie said. "Of course, I don't get a buff from that level of bed at all. I wonder if it affects the crafting room." She walked in and back out. "Awesome! But, I have to finish listing stuff if we're going to get paid."

  About thirty minutes into the day, we entered the training room. I had to dig in the interface for a few minutes to find the Pedagogy Mode, mostly because it was named Pedagogy Mode as if I knew what that meant.

  I dove in, and it was like the AI was taking over, but in my voice. Like, I didn't know how to train this well, but it kinda happened, and then I found that I kinda did know. I didn't like the feeling, but I did like seeing Lacie's Hide in Shadows rise to level 2. With the gear on top of that, it was really high, and anything that kept her out of the way of enemies was good.

  Then she left and I swapped over to the mode where the room made tiles pop up and I walked around trying to see if they were traps without having fake explosions puff in my face.

  When I came out, she was leaning against the door, wearing my letter jacket again, except now the main color was black instead of green. "You like?"

  I walked in front of her, leaning in a bit, almost like I was just a big jock, cornering her. "I like."

  She arched up a bit, nipping me on the chin. "Dinner time."

  Dear god, she had me wrapped around her finger.

  We bought a meal from the bush-elf tavern keeper, then went and ate on her bed. Shit, was this our bed?

  Just as we were finishing, an achievement popped up.

  New achievement! Rival of Tzu-Tzizam

  Remember that goddess of manic energy? At 960 hours with the exhausted debuff ignored, you are starting to threaten her extremely niche place in the world.

  Reward: You've received a Legendary Adventurer Box

  I frowned, thinking of how carefully she'd arranged the schedule. "I feel like you timed this all together."

  Lacie gave a smug smile. "Now, open the box."

  "What on earth is this?" I said as I took the only item in the box. As I looked it over, I read the description aloud.

  Major Sporting-Goods Sponsorship Decal

  When this decal is applied to athletic attire, that becomes sponsored attire. Sponsored attire can host as many sponsorship decals as you can fit onto that piece of clothing.

  A sponsorship decal will only benefit the crawler who receives it. They're sponsoring you, not your shirt.

  Sponsorship decals are exclusive in their product class.

  This patch depicts two baseballs and a baseball bat. This sponsorship is from Bill's Big Balls.

  +2 Strength.

  +2 Dexterity.

  Thrown weapons move 10% faster and deal 5% more damage.

  This is a major sponsorship with a kicker on Fastball Pitches.

  Major sponsorships pay: 1 gold for each mob killed, 25 gold for each neighborhood boss killed, 150 gold for each borough boss killed, 500 gold for each city boss killed, 1,500 gold for each province boss killed, 5,000 gold for each country boss killed, and 50,000 gold for each floor boss killed. Sponsorship decals must remain visible to pay out. Sponsorships pay double for kills done with their kicker.

  Warning: Sponsorship decals are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.

  "Well, that's a lot."

  "That's incredible," she said, staring at the little decal. It was a few inches long, clearly meant to look a bit inappropriate, and apparently incredibly valuable. "Don't use it yet. The, uh, well the AI clearly knows what it's doing. Yet again, trust me?"

  I stared at it a bit longer. She was right, that was really good, and I trusted Lacie to have a clever plan for the video-game logic of this place. I put it away, then glanced at the door back into the dungeon. "Get out of here and grind, then?"

  "Actually, as we're done getting that sleeplessness quest reward, I have some other plans."

  "Like what?" I asked, turning back around. My brain turned off when she let the letter jacket slide off her shoulders, revealing that she was wearing the shadowed mesh shirt, a plaid skirt, the two Midnight Ballroom piercings with a chain, and nothing else.