[Inquire, News]
I’d portaled into the bookstore from the farms.
“Good morning EG, sorry I was late. I had some farmers and their families to house.”
“It wasn’t busy Rose.”
“EG I’ve been meaning to ask, you said that business was up due to increased foot traffic from the portals, did that mean that before the portals we were losing money?”
“Oh yes Rose, we were losing money every month.”
“For how long EG?”
“About two hundred and fifty years, Rose?”
“You mean we never made a profit?”
“We did, a couple of times, but not much more than breaking even. I’m pretty sure that’s the way Sparky wants it.”
“Why would he want to lose money?”
“Well I don’t think he cared about the money one way or another, it was the customers that bothered him. That’s why he created me, so he didn’t have to deal with the customers.”
“I see, actually I don’t, why even have a bookstore, if you don’t care if it makes money or not?”
“He opened the bookstore for the publishing side of the business, and said he was looking for great writers and bibliomancers.”
“So have you published a lot of great writers?”
“No, not a one, most of the writers never made it past me. You know that saying that every person has one great book in them. That’s a total lie, along with the monkey and the typewriter story. There are more lies about writing than probably any profession aside from actors and politicians, professional liars.”
“Then did he discover many bibliomancers?”
“No Rose, bibliomancers are exceedingly rare. You were the first one who walked through the door.”
“So how can you tell if a person is a bibliomancer, is it the quality of their writing?”
“No not at all Rose, it’s their characters. Their characters have an actual life of their own and they don’t always go along with the author’s wishes. Like you and Juliet, she often opposed your writing ideas, correct?”
“I don’t know if often is the right word, I’d say occasionally she would oppose my ideas.”
“She told me you often came close to blows, that you were always trying to force her into one ridiculous situation after another. She told me you put her in a magical school novel where you tried to pair her up with the potions master, a man almost six years her senior and possibly evil.”
“Well I thought she might want someone with some experience, you know someone who’d been around the block before. He definitely wasn’t evil, just a bit of a bad boy and he and Juliet actually saved the school in the end.”
“Yes but the only reason the potions master helped Juliet is because you made certain promises about what Juliet would do in return for said help.”
“Yes I admit it, I thought that if he saved her, she’d be a little more grateful than she actually was.”
“She claims in the end, it was her that saved him, I quote ‘he actually ran like a sniveling little baby and got quite aggressive with me afterward in the car, when I told him to watch where he was putting his hands. So I punched him in the nose’ end quote.”
“Fine my only defense is that I’d just turned into a teenager and I was a bit overwhelmed.”
“You don’t need a defense, Rose it’s the fact that you allow your characters to fight back, that you don’t force them down paths, is what allows them to come to life, what makes you a bibliomancer. It wasn’t just Juliet, Maria the slutty princess herself, you allowed her to fight back and a cautionary tale became a full blown adventure. Then you have Jaq, you two didn’t get past the first line of the novel before you started to fight with one another. If she hadn’t made you so mad you sent her to hell twice, you never would have stumbled on Nyx, one of my favorite characters.”
“Thank you EG, that's very nice of you to say.”
The bell over the door rang and in walked Harvey Epstein, brief case in hand. The other day he looked nervous, today he just looks rather weary.
“Why hello Harvey, are you okay, you look really tired, would you care for a cup of tea, I was just going to make a cup for myself.”
“If you are willing to negotiate, then I would welcome a cup of tea.”
“Pull up a stool Harvey, I’d enjoy talking with you, just give me a minute to make the tea.”
I went in the back, made the tea and went back out and sat on Sparky’s stool. It’s childish but sitting on his stool gave me more confidence and made me feel that I was in charge.
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“Here you go Harvey, it’s Jasmine, my favorite tea but if you prefer black we also have that.”
“No, I enjoy a good cup of Jasmine tea.” He paused and took a sip. “That’s the best cup of tea I’ve ever had, you have to tell me where you get your tea.”
“It’s not the tea, Harvey, it’s the water. My friend Nim discovered this spring when she was searching for a water source to brew her dwarven ale. She was raving about how it made the best beer she’d ever brewed. She gave me some of the water and it’s true this is the best jasmine tea I’ve ever had but I’m still using the same old cheap jasmine tea leaves I was using before.”
“So you are a friend of the Burgomaster’s wife, that’s how you met him then?”
“Ah no, I met Arthur when he came in looking for help with a ghost in the public library, I didn’t meet Nim until after we saved her daughter from some kidnappers, Matthew Russell he was behind the whole thing. He lived out in the hills with your cartel I believe.”
“Yes that was a very bad business, he was never in the cartel but yes he did live in a mansion in the hills, before he went to prison.”
“So Harvey, tell me are you actually in the cartel or do you just work for them, because you seem like a nice sort, not the kind of man who’d deny food to a starving child.”
“No, I would not Rose, and must say that the cartel member that made those requests to the Burgomaster, was not speaking for the cartel as a whole, rather his farms alone. I certainly understand why the Burgomaster reacted the way he did to a supposed threat. But that brings me around to why I’m here. I went to court against the town this morning and the judge ruled that the Burgomaster and the council exceeded their authority banning the cartel from doing business in the town. Starting tomorrow the cartel will be shipping their products into town. I’m sorry, you really seem like a lovely person and I can see why you were mad.”
“Thank you Harvey, I think you are a nice person too. A lesser man would have come in here with his court order and rubbed my nose in it. Do you live out in the hills Harvey or here in town?”
“Here in town, I could never afford to live in the hills.”
“Don’t give up hope Harvey, I have a feeling that property out there might become more affordable in the future. The judge is a town man as well, Harvey?”
“Oh no the judge has money, his family has lived in the hills for generations.”
“Harvey, I hate to ask this, I’m sure he’s not, I mean that wouldn’t be legal. The judge, he’s not part of the cartel proper right?”
“No, that would be illegal.”
“So he’s just friends with the cartel members, they probably all belong to the same clubs and such, wives are probably thick as thieves always gossiping among themselves.”
“Yes, Rose, that's what I was trying to point out to you the other day. The rich eat, drink and play together; it's what makes them such formidable opponents.”
“The other day you said something about gnomes all being dirty communists, is that how you really feel or is that the company line. I mean, would you have a problem if a gnome family moved next door to you, or ate at a table next to you in a restaurant.”
“No point in fact my greatest opponent is a gnome and while I haven’t beaten him yet, someday before I retire I hope too.”
“That’s great Harvey, because honestly I do like you and it’d make me feel rotten if you were a racist.”
“No Rose, I swear that I’m no racist.”
“I believe you Harvey, because racists are always proud to be racists. I’ve never heard one yet deny being one, they’ll say they are misunderstood, or the rest of us don’t understand the danger posed by X group. So have you always wanted to be a lawyer?”
“No, when I was younger, I wanted to be a writer but my father forced me into law school, said he didn’t want his son starving to death.”
“Do you still write Harvey?”
“Yes, in my spare time, if I ever get any.”
“Well my girlfriend and I are going to a writer’s retreat in Wales in a few weeks and you are more than welcome to come along. I’m really looking forward to meeting other writers. Finding out about their process. I just recently found out that some people outline everything out before writing a word. I’d never heard of that before.”
“That’s what I do Rose, I couldn’t write if I didn’t have a plan.”
“See Harvey, I’m just the opposite, if I had to sit down and try and figure out everything before hand, I think I’d be paralyzed or it’d take me just as long to write the outline as it would have taken me to write the story.”
“So you set out on the ocean of words without a map, but how do you find your way?”
“For me the characters just kind of demand it, I was writing a story about intelligent robots, and I just couldn’t stand it. I finished it because my main character is a friend and I didn’t want to disappoint her. So I finished it and gave her a copy, then I just put the original in a drawer, because even if they were sentient I just never connected with them as characters.”
“Rose, that is the exact thing I want to do and as soon as I can afford to retire, that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life.”
“Can you take six months off from work Harvey? If you can, the writer’s retreat has a six month option, you sign a contract agreeing to profit sharing your published novel. Meanwhile you live in a mansion and have a formal dinner every evening.”
“That sounds expensive, Rose.”
“No it’s free, my friend Jaq, hopes to make money off the book sales, established authors who have cash to spare can pay and no profit sharing of their books.”
“It would be a conflict of interest, Rose. We’re in this legal fight, so even though I’d like to go, I know that I can’t.”
“To be honest Harvey, I don't think the whole food supply issue will take two weeks to resolve. I honestly think your clients are going to lose, I don’t think money is as powerful as magic. Before you go back to your clients, go take a look at the new farms. Planting has started today and you can also have a bowl of delicious soup. While you are out there, ask about the advantages of a magical farm. The year round growing cycle, water is not required, the soil always has just the exact amount of moisture required. No bugs to eat the plants, no mice or rats to eat what can be stored forever without spoilage. Then come back and see me tomorrow, please.”
