[Agree, Give]

  The play was great and it was also wonderful that the director had found all his friends' seats together. I was sitting in an aisle seat next to Paula and Eldara. But the best part of the night was hearing my amazing girlfriend playing the lute. Mastat wasn’t too bad either. I liked the way that they switched leads back and forth. But the play was over and Paula and I had a date in Muncie, Indiana.

  “Are you all set Paula, Eldara please tell Lu I loved the play and I’ll see her at the cast party.”

  “Let’s go Rose.”

  I portaled us to the tower library.

  “Rose, do you want Daisy and me to come with you?”

  “No thanks Doug, I don’t expect to be gone for long.”

  “Gone where for long?”

  “Lu what are you doing here, you are supposed to give your final bows and receive a standing ovation.”

  “When I saw you and Paula portal away, I knew something was up so I portaled here to try and find out what was going on.”

  “Nothing's going on, we are just portaling to Earth to clear up a small matter, Dogberry and Draco are along to observe and Paula is here for legal advice. I didn’t tell you because I’m always ruining things for you and I won’t ruin your theater debut. The play was wonderful by the way but you were the best part of the show. Now go back and join the cast, we’ll be back shortly, for the cast party.”

  “I’m coming, I wouldn’t enjoy any party knowing you are going after criminals on Earth. Don’t they all carry guns, Earth people, no offense Paula.”

  “None taken Lu, sometimes it does seem that way but no not every earthling is a gun nut. Lots of people abhor them. Besides it doesn’t matter what type of weapons they have, we have, Rose and I’ve been on enough of these little adventures to know if Rose has a plan, that’s what will happen unless she has a better idea at the last minute, then that’s what will happen.”

  “Regardless, I'm coming too, it’ll be more fun than a stuffy party.”

  Just then Dogberry portaled in.

  “Sorry I’m late ma’am, I portaled into the Grandmaster’s library by mistake.”

  “No problem, take someone’s hand and we are jumping to Muncie, Indiana.

  Which we did, we stood across the road from a warehouse that had been painted white long ago, it was still white in places but mostly it was peeling paint. From what I’d seen earlier in the day, the whole city had seen better days. From what Paula’s told me the whole country has seen better days. But I didn’t care about any of that. I only cared that they were shipping weapons to my home.I authored that no weapons in the warehouse would ever work again.

  “Lu, Draco can either of you tell me how many people are inside?”

  They both answered “Three” at the same time.

  We waited ten minutes, to see if anyone else was going to arrive. No one did. So we walked across the street and entered the unlocked door.

  “Who is you guys? Where’s Daria and Sonny.”

  “They couldn’t make it, they sent us instead.”

  One of them pulled out a hand gun and pointed it at Draco.

  “What is that thing.”

  “I’m not a thing sir, I’m a dragon. Who are we meant to meet Rose?”

  “James David, which one of you is him?”

  “He’s not here yet, he’s running late.”

  I did a locate spell on James David and he did appear to be moving towards us.

  “Fine, we'll wait.”

  “We don’t have to wait, we know what we’re doing.” said the leader of the three.

  “So you three were involved in all the other sales to Daria and Sonny.”

  “Yes of course, this is way too big a sale for David to handle on his own.”

  “Ohh, well then sleep.” The three dropped to the floor behind the counter. Lu, Draco, can you please make sure no one else is hiding in here? I don’t want anyone to get hurt when I destroy the building.”

  I did another locate spell and David was just about here. Minutes later David walked into the warehouse. I authored another, no weapons in the building will work, to make sure that David’s weapons wouldn’t work. David walked in and immediately pulled a gun out and pointed it at me.

  “Are you David? Rayan sent me in place of Daria and Sonny.”

  “Yeah I’m David Where are Daria and Sonny? And where are the Michaelson Brothers?”

  “They said they could handle the sale and we needn’t wait for you. But I insisted, I wasn’t doing the sale without you.”

  “Speaking of the sale, have you got the gold?”

  “No, we’re not paying for weapons that don’t work.”

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “They work, they are brand new from the factory floor.”

  “Not any more, not a weapon in this building works. Go ahead, shoot me, if you like. But you are more likely to hurt me if you throw the gun at me.”

  I jumped the building to Tranquility 2.

  “David. When you were a kid, what did you want to do? I presume you didn’t always want to be a criminal?” I authored suitable clothes for David and the three brothers who were still sleeping on the floor.”

  “What’s that?” David pointed at Draco.

  “See Rose, that’s why I prefer the invisibility spell, every damn human asks the same question. It can be more than a little tiring after seven hundred years.”

  “Draco use the big ear on him will you, please?”

  “David, when you were a kid what did you want to be?”

  “He wanted to be a fireman, Rose.”

  “Paula how many years would David get in the US for the sale of all the weapons that were found in the warehouse.”

  “Twenty five years Rose for ten weapons, we found hundreds, so minimum of twenty five years.”

  “Thanks Paula, David, I erased your memory of your past life, you have new clothes, I put a month’s worth of money in your pocket. For the next twenty five years you’ll be either a fireman if you can find a job or a guard who often aids the volunteers. In twenty five years you’ll regain your old memories, but by then I hope you have a happy and productive life here and no wish to return to Earth. Good luck.”

  I repeated the process with the three brothers, two wanted to be farmers so I sent them off with money and also the promise that in twenty five years their memories will return. The last brother wanted to be a bartender, he got the same amount of money to last him a few months and I sent him into the fourth direction. Maybe in twenty five years they’ll meet up with each other or at least go looking for one another.

  There were three different gun manufacturers weapons located in the warehouse. I made note of their names.

  “Now everyone, will you please give me the opportunity to fulfill a life long dream?

  They agreed, so I jumped the warehouse to Middle Earth. We all exited the building onto the bit of rock where Frodo and Gollum had wrestled for the ring, then I let the building drop into Mount Doom. Then I jumped us all back home to Wyldwood, before the Tolkien estate realized we were in Middle Earth and sued us for intellectual property offenses.

  When we arrived the party was in full swing.

  “Thank you all for accompanying me tonight, I want to thank you all for your help. Now please enjoy the party, especially you Lu, it’s partially in your honor. Dogberry could I please have a word out on the balcony, where it’s a little bit quieter.”

  “Yes, Rose, ma’am.”

  We walked out onto the balcony overlooking the interior forest.

  “Dogberry, I just wanted to talk about what I did. I didn’t have any jurisdiction and I couldn’t really turn them over to their guard and expect them to pay for the damage they caused selling those weapons. But Paula lived on Earth and knows Earth justice that’s why I asked her to come with us. So she could tell us exactly what sentence they’d receive in their own justice system. I hope you don’t think I was too harsh.”

  “Rose, ma’am we could have dragged them back here and dealt with them, but for their crimes they’d likely get the mines. That’s a hard, dirty and dangerous life. They'd be lucky if two out of the four made it out alive. You’ve given them the choice for a whole new life based on their own stated desires. Lots of people would look at that as more of a reward than a punishment. I have only one complaint, Rose.”

  “What Dogberry, I value your opinion, otherwise I wouldn’t have dragged you into this whole mess. Please tell me what’s your complaint.”

  “You remember that I couldn’t read and your friend Julia started teaching me how. Well I’m only one chapter in, to the Return of the King, so you spoiled the Lord of the Rings.”

  “No Dogberry, I only said that they wrestled around, I never said what happened, I think you’ll love the ending.”

  “Here’s your portal wallet back ma’am.”

  “No Dogberry, that's yours, I don’t want it back.”

  “But it’s worth a fortune ma’am, look how much the Nemanjas paid for just three portals, this wallet has eight portals.”

  “You deserve it, Dogberry, now come on, let's go back to the party. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend will have tapped a keg of dwarven ale by now, isn’t that your favorite? And I could really use a glass of wine after the past two days.”

  The party was a great success, as was the play. They were only supposed to put on one performance but it was decided that they’d do four more, a matinee on Saturday and Sunday followed by two evening performances also over the weekend. That’s a lot of Shakespeare but this play is one of my favorites, who doesn’t like a triple wedding or Titania falling for an ass of a man.

  The next morning before work I visited the three gun manufacturing facilities in Indiana that had weapons in the warehouse in Muncie. I won’t mention their names, because I don’t want to give them any free press. But I did author them a little surprise. Not one weapon manufactured at their plants for the next three months would work. Some just fell apart when you touched them, for others I altered the Law of Conservation of Energy as such when fired the bullet only made it about six inches from the barrel then fell to the ground, harmlessly. I had quite a lot of fun. Then I jumped back to the bookstore.

  “Well, well, well, you do still work here, do you?”

  “Sorry Sparky.”

  “Elder Glimmerdus is sitting in the back office waiting for you, at least Mossbeard brought him some tea.”

  I went in the back and Alvyn was seated at my desk.

  “Good morning Alvyn, I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”

  “What evil doers have you been smiting this morning.”

  I laughed “There was no smiting, I was merely expressing my utter disdain for a society that pours weapons out onto its streets. Yet can’t or won’t find housing for a large segment of their population. What’s even worse was their plan to export the weapons to Emain Ablach. Well, we won’t have to worry about that for the next three months anyway. But what can I do for you Elder?”

  “Rose, we'd like to accept your kind offer and have you install a portal at the entrance to the gnome colony. The walk home from the wonderful performance of Midsummer was enough to persuade the remaining holdouts that your network might not be the worst thing ever devised, even if it wasn’t dreamed up by a gnome.”

  “I’m honored Alvyn.”

  “That’s the way it was meant, Rose. How long before it’ll be functional do you think?”

  “Mossbeard, grab your sketchpad and pencil, we have a portal to install, Alvyn it’ll be ready before tonight’s performance. Your lawyering really saved the town so we'll put a rush on your portal.”