He started preorders the same afternoon.
Howard found out because Trent sent him a link with no context, which Howard recognized as a warning.
The page loaded slowly, heavy with enthusiasm.
At the top was a smiling cartoon bunny wearing sunglasses.
Underneath, in bold letters:
THE BUNNIES ARE WATCHING (FOR YOUR SAFETY)
Howard closed his eyes.
By the time Howard reached the maintenance bay, Jake was already setting up a folding table.
There were boxes. There was a banner. There was a small crowd.
“Merch,” Jake said brightly. “Awareness-based merchandising.”
Howard looked at the table.
Shirts. Stickers. Hats.
One mug read:
EPHEMERAL BUFFER, ETERNAL VIGILANCE
Another shirt featured a stylized Hopper silhouette with a camera lens for an eye.
Howard picked it up.
“This is incorrect,” he said.
Jake waved a hand. “Symbolic.”
“It is materially false,” Howard replied.
Jake grinned. “Allegedly.”
Children from the elementary school noticed immediately.
They always did.
A girl tugged on her friend’s sleeve. “That’s the bunny.”
A boy squinted at the banner. “Is it a spy.”
Jake crouched to their level. “It’s a helper.”
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
Howard straightened. “It moves trash.”
The kids considered this.
“Does it have a name,” one asked.
“No,” Howard said.
Jake leaned in. “Not officially.”
Howard looked at him.
Jake smiled.
The PTA noticed ten minutes later.
They arrived in formation.
“What is this,” one mother asked, pointing at a shirt that read:
SMALL HUMAN DETECTED
Howard took the shirt off the table.
Jake put it back.
“It’s commentary,” Jake said.
“It’s gasoline,” Howard replied.
Another parent held up her phone. “My child is on your website.”
Jake frowned. “In spirit.”
Howard exhaled.
County admin noticed by lunch.
The administrator approached the table carefully, like it might bite.
“You’re implying surveillance,” she said.
Jake nodded. “Public discourse.”
Howard stepped between them. “He is selling novelty items.”
Jake brightened. “Limited run.”
The administrator squinted at a sticker that read:
NO FOOTAGE EXISTS (TRUST US)
She did not smile.
The bunnies continued working.
They rolled past the table, paused, recalculated, and went on.
Someone gasped.
“It stopped,” a parent whispered.
Jake seized the moment. “See.”
Howard spoke calmly. “It adjusted its route.”
Jake ignored him. “That’s awareness.”
Howard turned to the crowd. “It avoids obstacles.”
A kid waved at the Hopper.
It rolled on.
The kid waved harder.
Jake whispered, “It remembers you.”
Howard said, “It does not.”
By mid-afternoon, Jake had sold out of hats.
Someone asked about hoodies.
Jake wrote it down.
Howard updated the maintenance log twice in one hour, which he had never done before.
The first actual problem arrived at 2:47 p.m.
A delivery truck slowed near the fence, driver distracted, phone in hand.
The Hopper detected the trajectory anomaly and stopped.
The truck braked late.
Parents screamed.
Nothing happened.
Jake shouted, “IT INTERVENED.”
Howard said, “It stopped.”
The difference was lost on the crowd.
Phones came out.
Jake sold three mugs.
That evening, Howard found a new sign zip-tied to the fence.
SURVEILLANCE ZONE – FOR YOUR SAFETY
Howard removed it.
Someone put it back.
Howard removed it again.
Jake watched from a distance, thoughtful.
“You’re fighting the narrative,” Jake said.
“I’m removing plastic,” Howard replied.
The next morning, county legal called.
Then risk management.
Then the superintendent’s office.
Howard answered all of them the same way.
“No video exists.
No video can exist.
No video will exist.”
Jake launched a new shirt.
IF THERE WAS FOOTAGE, YOU’D FEEL SAFER
Howard did not comment.
By Friday, a local reporter showed up.
Jake gave an interview.
Howard did not.
The bunnies worked around the cameras, unimpressed.
That afternoon, Howard found a sticker on a Hopper’s casing.
A bunny.
Sunglasses.
Text underneath:
STILL NOT RECORDING
Howard peeled it off carefully.
He added a note to the log.
Unauthorized decal removed.
Unit performance unaffected.
Public misunderstanding escalating.
He closed the book.
Jake waved from across the lot, holding a box labeled HOODIES – LARGE.
Howard did not wave back.
The bunnies rolled on, unseen by cameras that did not exist, preventing problems no one would remember.
Jake made a profit.
Howard bought Aleve in bulk.