I found myself in a small space near a window.

  I pulled my knees to my chest and looked out at the clear skies below. We were far from the federation, yet it felt like the haze had followed me.

  The dragon in my head laughed softly.

  “Ah, so that uncaring fa?ade has finally worn off. I must say, I was beginning to believe you had changed.”

  Shut up.

  “Childish,” the dragon hissed with a tease, before falling silent.

  I wiped my tears as I rested my chin on my knees. That was just a fluke, I’m still apathetic.

  I still wanna die.

  Being sad doesn’t change that.

  Just then, I heard a sniffing sound, followed by the rustle of a tail against metal. The sound of bare feet slapping against steel grew louder until a shadow loomed over me.

  I didn’t need to look.

  “If you don’t want a hole in your chest, I suggest you beat it.”

  Jashen tilted her head innocently. “You’re sad, aren’t you,” she stated softly.

  “You’re a real genius, you know that?”

  Jashen smiled. “Thank you, you’re the first person to think that. Everyone else called me dense.” She stepped forward and squatted in front of me.

  “But, I didn’t come here for compliments. I came because I missed your warmth.”

  “Find a heater,” I grumbled.

  “You know I’ve been through a lot of sad times too, a lot of them actually.”

  I looked up and narrowed my eyes. “Go tell someone else.”

  Jashen blinked with genuine confusion. “But I have to tell you, okay? So listen closely. When I was little I used to live in the far east. In a place called Vina during the Tqui dynasty.”

  Did she not just hear me?

  She sat down across from me and crossed her legs.

  “I used to live in my village with my family. There were 13 of us. I was the youngest. Because of that none of my older siblings played with me, after I got older I found myself alone often.”

  I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against my knees.

  She continued.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

  “Sometimes I’d go north of the village to play in the snow. But one day I went too far north and I didn’t know how to get back home.”

  “So I walked and I walked and I walked until eventually I came across humans.”

  I perked up with a raised brow.

  “These humans were the first people I’ve ever met who were really nice to me. They taught me everything I know today.”

  Her expression fell slightly.

  “But one day when I turned 12, dwarves arrived at our home. They said my humans were runaways, and that they were to be killed.”

  My eyes widened as she continued.

  “I remember seeing how scared they were and it made me really angry. I got so angry I turned into a massive fox and blacked out.”

  She paused for a moment as she looked out the window.

  “When I finally woke up I was surrounded by bodies. Everyone was dead, the dwarves and my humans. I was alone again.”

  She stared down at her feet, her ears drooped against her head as she fought back tears.

  “I killed them. I know I did, it’s been three years since then but I miss them a lot.”

  She looked up with a forced smile.

  “But I never give up, because they told me I had to be brave when I was sad. And so I’m now telling you. Be brave, Lafayette. Be brave and smile.”

  I stared at her. She was on the verge of tears but she still smiled. Why? I don’t understand it.

  I frowned deeply. “You think just because you told me your little sob story I’m supposed to feel better?” I gripped my knees.

  “I am brave, how many people do you know who willingly march to their deaths? How many people do you know who can survive what I’ve survived?”

  My chest tightened.

  “I’m not just brave, I’m unbreakable. I’m like a machine, okay? I’m a warrior.”

  Jashen chuckled softly as she crawled closer.

  “What are you laughing at? You think I’m not? Don’t touch me, if you do I’ll—“

  She took my hands into hers and intertwined our fingers.

  “You are very brave, Lafayette. But even the bravest warriors need to be comforted. How can you face what’s in front of you if you don’t love what’s behind you?”

  I tried to pull my hands away. “I do it, because I’m a dead man walking. I don’t need love.”

  “Dead men don’t walk. Only those who are alive. Don’t focus on the pain, focus on the good. Good things happen every day.”

  “Well, they don’t happen to me.”

  “But they do. It’s just you have to listen for them, they aren’t as loud as the bad things.”

  I stared at our intertwined fingers. She was soft and warm. It made every part of me scream in need.

  I wanted to hold her close and never let go.

  I hated that.

  I snatched my hands from her and stood up.

  “No, I’m not you. I don’t care to find the good things in life. Even if I did find them they’d just get taken again.”

  Jashen didn’t flinch this time. She just looked up at me with that same smile. “I won’t give up.”

  “What?”

  “I won’t give up on you, Lafayette. I’ll share my warmth with you every day and night. You can count on that.”

  I looked over my shoulder with a scowl but I didn't say anything. Maybe it’s because deep down I wanted her to mean it. Show me something worth living for before I leave this world.

  If you can.

  I walked away.

  — — —

  The rest of the flight I spent avoiding both Julian and Jashen. There was nothing I wanted to say to either of them. To my surprise, they obliged, well mostly.

  Jashen kept an eye on me at all times.

  But she never approached me.

  Eventually, the ship began its descent and I was approached by Julian. “Lafayette, we’ve reached the safe house I told you about.”

  “So?”

  “Listen, when we land you and Jashen will stay here. For about a week. That’s how long it’ll take me to link up with command and come back with a ride to take you home.”

  I nodded. “Sounds good.”

  “There’s just one thing.”

  “What?”

  “What are you going to do with Jashen? I mean, are you two close? Do you want her to come home with you?”

  I shook my head.

  “No, I don't want her with me. What part of my plan for dying do you not understand? Even if I wanted her to come, Lilith would kill her the moment she saw her.”

  Julian nodded. “Very well, I’ll find shelter for her here, in Kotal. But for now, let’s join the others at the ramp.”

  A voice over the intercom crackled, *“Coming in for a hard landing, brace.”*

  The airship landed with a hard force and scraped against the ground.

  It slowed to a stop relatively quickly though.

  The departure ramp was lowered to reveal a cliffside mansion that overlooked the sea.

  Sofia was the first to step off with her pipe in hand. “Ah, this is much better than home already.” She laughed.

  The rest of us followed behind her.

  The salty breeze of the ocean was like the scent of a nice candle. Especially after being trapped in that stuffy airship.

  As I walked down that ramp my attention was directed towards the mansion.

  It was made of white stone with all sorts of pathways and rooms that snaked along the rocks.

  Aside from just that, men in long flowing suits guarded the place. They were armed with muskets and swords.

  “Who are they?” I asked Julian.

  “Royal Blades,” Julian replied. “You can think of them as our answer to the empire’s dragoons.”

  Royal blades… RBA… Royal Blade Agency?

  “Doesn’t that mean you’re a Royal Blade?”

  “Yep.”

  The Royal Blades watched us like silent predators. They calculated everything. The way we walked, the way we talked, that way we looked.

  Julian guided us inside the mansion which was pristine and well-maintained.

  Maids walked the halls and more Royal blades stood watch.

  Julian stopped us once we entered the main living room. He turned to us with both hands out.

  “Okay, you can set yourselves up to get comfortable. Pick any room you want. Any room service will be handled by the staff. If you need anything that’s not provided here, a call will be made to bring it in from the nearest city.”

  He spread his arms.

  “Any questions?”

  Everyone shook their heads.

  Julian clapped his hands together.

  “Alright, remember one week.”

  After that, he turned to leave.