Alexios

  Year 35

  With tonight’s contract finished, I’ve surprisingly found a bit of solace on the rooftop of a forgotten bathhouse. The cool ocean breeze swims through my hair while I listen to the laughter and footsteps of Athkatla’s citizens enjoying the night. Even all the way up here, it still feels like Marquis is watching me.

  Does he truly believe I’m made of glass?

  I’ve survived far worse at the hands of the matrons of House Baenre. He knows that, but his concerns just feel like another thing I have to endure now. Besides, the contracts have gotten easier to manage since the victims’ faces don’t follow me into my trances anymore. Just to be safe though, I look around the other rooftop, expecting to see him “dutifully” watching me. Luckily, he’s nowhere to be found.

  “Hey!” a voice from below calls out. “Are you alright up there?”

  I look down and find two men staring up at me, curiosity driven by drunkenness.

  “You look like you could use a drink,” the other one says. “We’re headed to a tavern just a few streets away if you want to come. Good music and women there too, if that interests you.”

  The offer almost makes me laugh. Marquis would absolutely despise this, I bet. He’d want me home by now, only for me to lie in bed listening as they either argue or fuck each other’s brains out.

  When I look back down at the men, they’re already turning away.

  “Wait!” I call to them, already swinging my legs over the ledge and jumping down a few stacked crates.

  Both of the men’s faces light up as I run to catch up. We walk together towards the tavern as the sound of music carries through the streets. Someone pats me on the shoulder as soon as I walk in as if I’m welcome here, even though these are strangers. A human man with a wicked smile and dark hair braided neatly passes me a mug.

  “Drink,” he orders, smiling at me. “It’s not great, but judging by the look on your face, it might do you some good.”

  I shouldn’t. Marquis would want me to be careful of who gives what. But… he’s not here so I take a sip anyway. Whatever’s in this is incredibly too bitter for my liking and when I cough, someone laughs brightly. I can’t help but laugh too.

  As I take another sip, warmth spreading through my chest, I realize this is what ordinary people do. They gather with their friends, even strangers, and drink as they dance the night away. I’ve… I’ve never existed like this. Never in House Baenre and certainly not in Marquis’s presence. I drink again, letting myself enjoy the simplicity of tonight as the music grows later. Tonight, I’m just another body in this overcrowded tavern and to my disbelief, I love it.

  Every time I go to put my mug down, someone refills it and clinks theirs against mine. The potion spreads through my body even quicker now until my thoughts almost become blurred. My body sways with the drumbeat without even meaning to and suddenly, I’m being pulled into the center of the dance floor. I laugh louder now, deciding maybe this feeling isn’t so terrible.

  A hand touches my arm to get my attention. When I turn, a man leans in closer and presses two small, pale tablets into my hand. Without even considering if I should take them, I tip my head back and swallow, chasing them down with the bitter potion in my mug.

  I keep moving to the bard music as the faces around me smear and blur into the rich colors growing around me. Just as my skin starts tingling, someone pulls me away from the center of the floor to a table in the corner, hidden by a bit of shadow. My eyes land on thin white lines, waiting against the dark wood.

  Let me feel it, Alexios. Do not worry about Marquis’s disapproval. He is no fun anyway.

  I chuckle at her voice as I bend down and inhale sharply. The burn is shocking and sudden, making my eyes instantly water as I try to laugh through it. The tavern around me almost stretches while the hands grasping at my body intensifies.

  The tavern spins even more as I straighten back up, using the back of my hand to wipe my nose. An elven woman pulls me back into the center of the dance floor and I gladly go, instantly tempted by her bronze skin and the barely-there fabric clinking to her breasts. She sways against me, soft hands running down my shoulders and onto my chest, as she smiles. Her taut body is so close I can feel the heat of her skin through my own clothes.

  A man slips in behind me just as the music turns hypnotic. His hand finds my waist as he begins moving with not only the music, but with her as well. The feeling of the man’s breath against my skin has me leaning my head against him, softly groaning as both of their hands slide over my body.

  The woman rises onto her toes, lips pressing against my neck before moving to my mouth. A hand runs through my hair gently before a quick tug has me gasping. I barely have time to react before she’s laughing and grinding her hips again, moving with the rhythm.

  The man leans in, lips finding mine in a kiss that’s much deeper than I expect. So much so, that it feels as if he’s stealing the breath from my lungs. The drumbeat gets even heavier as more bodies press against us, but my attention stays on the kisses that land again and again on my neck and cheek. I lose myself in the moment, falling in love with the pleasure humming through my body and the feeling of two gorgeous strangers grinding against me.

  Gods, I need more. More of everything.

  Moremoremoremoremoremore.

  Take it, Alexios. This night is yours and yours alone.

  You deserve what Marquis will not let you have.

  Off to the side, someone slips through as something glowing at the tip gets passed from hand to hand. The smell of the sweet smoke mixing with the two strangers’ sweat is fucking intoxicating.

  “Here you go, baby,” the man says close to my ear.

  I gladly take what’s offered, drawing in a slow and deep breath as the smoke fills my lungs. The woman, still swaying with the music, runs a finger down my stomach before rests her hand against my cock. Just as my eyes roll back, the man’s hand comes to my neck to turn me towards him. His thumb brushes lazily against my bottom lip before sliding it in. I suck eagerly, hollowing out my cheeks and running my tongue over it as he leans in to kiss my temple.

  The smoke finds its way back into my lung again so I take it greedily. The woman cups my face, pulling my attention back to her, and kisses me while she laughs against my lips. The man’s lips follow, hand still steady at my hip so I can’t drift away from them. Indulgently, they pass me around between the two of them.

  “Come home with us,” the woman says as her fingers pull greedily at the waistband of my pants. “We’ll take our time with you.”

  Oh, my beauty.

  Look how wanted you are. Look how wanted we are.

  Taste them. Indulge them.

  For me, yes?

  “Let us have you tonight,” the man adds, tongue darting out quickly to lick my earlobe.

  “Please,” I beg immediately without a single doubt running through my mind.

  They take my hands, pulling me out of the tavern and down the street. I stumble, leaning into one of them while I laugh too loudly.

  “Alexios.”

  I stop instantly at the sharp voice. We all do. My eyes blink rapidly as I turn around slowly, only to find Marquis standing there in the street while his eyes look me over.

  “You did not return home,” he tells me. “Phaedra and I feared something had happened to you.”

  Even in my haze, I notice the way he glares at the two strangers standing next to me. I lean into the man, wrapping my arm around his waist to get a bit of balance.

  “I’m alive,” I slur out as if this answer is even good enough for him. It’s not.

  Marquis reaches for my wrist, but I step away. The woman scoffs and tugs gently at my other hand.

  “He’s fine,” she bites. “We just want to play with him. What’s it to you anyway?”

  “Alexios,” Marquis leans in. “You must come home. You are in no state to be out at this time of night.”

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

  He holds out his hand for me to take, but I can only laugh bitterly in my drunken state.

  “You’re… you’re sorry?!”

  “Listen to…”

  “No!” I cut in firmly, even as my words keep slurring. “You’re fucking jealous, aren’t you?”

  His blue eyes flash angrily.

  “How dare you accuse me of such a thing.”

  “How dare you decide when I’ve had enough!” I yell, stumbling as I step closer to jab my finger into his chest through that stupid red cloak.

  Marquis grips my wrist before I can pull my hand away.

  “Is it not clear that I worry for you, Alexios? You can barely stand on your own since you have taken gods know what from these… outsiders.”

  I try to pull away, but the street starts spinning so much that I nearly stumble straight into his chest. He catches me, keeping one arm firming around my back so I stay upright. I glare at him, breathless through all my fury.

  “Let me go… right… now,” I demand. “I was doing just fine before you showed up tonight.”

  “You are not fine,” he says roughly. “I will not apologize for stopping you from disappearing.”

  His eyes move past me to glare at the two strangers.

  “You are too far gone to make safe choices,” he continues. “I am pleading for you to listen, Alexios.”

  Marquis pulls me over to him again, but before I can argue, his eyes widen… and he drops my wrist, jerking his hand back like he’s been burned. Without another word, he stares at me, bewildered.

  Continue, my sweet one. He will not interfere again tonight.

  I nearly stumble back, but the woman is already there catching my arm.

  “There you are, pretty thing.”

  The man takes my other hand without another thought.

  “Come on,” he whispers in my ear. “Who was that?”

  Marquis calls for me once more, but I don’t turn around even for a single second as I let myself be pulled away. The street lanterns blur past us in reds and yellows as we lengthen the distance between us and him. I trip once… or twice, but they steady me anyway.

  As soon as I’m inside their home just at the edge of the Center District, someone passes a mug into my hand again and I find myself relishing in the realization that no one here gives a fuck about who I am or what I do when I’m not here. My body sinks into the couch and before long, a warm body straddles me. I let my hands roam across their skin while I fall even deeper into the cozy haze.

  --

  Everything in my trance feels too warped, thoughts skipping and loop oddly. My head feels like it’s splitting open and as soon as I wake from my trance, my stomach begins churning violently as if I’ve been poisoned. I groan and roll on my side, slowly pushing away an arm that’s found its way across my chest.

  Where the fuck am I?

  The memories of loud music, bitter drinks, laughing and hands pulling me from the couch to the warm bed blur together as my muscles protest when I swing my legs over the side.

  My breathing is kept shallow in an attempt to not retch directly on the floor below my feet. But the heavy scent of smoke, sweat and gods know what else clinging to the sheets almost pushes me over the line. My hand flies to my mouth, nausea rising aggressively, as my other hand goes to reach for my discarded clothes.

  “Where are you going, pretty thing?” the woman asks, caught in a half-asleep space.

  While my fingers are occupied with the fumbling of fabric, she stretches out like some kind of pampered house cat, tucked under the arms of three others sharing the bed.

  “I… I’m not feeling well,” I mutter painfully, throat feeling like it’s been stuffed with glass shards.

  She smiles and reaches out, letting her fingers brush slowly down my thigh.

  “Come sleep it off,” she says. “We’ll take care of you. You know we can make you feel better.”

  Just as one of the men presses against her, the room begins spinning again. It feels like I can’t even fucking breathe in here anymore.

  “No,” I say, wincing as the pounding in my head gets even stronger. “I really need to go.”

  My stomach twists and pulls, instantly pulling me back to the reality I so desperately need right now. She pouts, arm raising to try to grip my arm, but my focus is only on one thing…

  Getting out and getting away.

  The walk back home is nothing short of agonizing as every few steps are broken up by stop for me to retch into a gutter or one of the river’s piers. The sunlight shining down on my face is brutal, almost like it’s stabbing me directly in the eyes. By the time my feet lead me through the front door of Marquis’s house, I’m shaking as if I just left cold water. Marquis looks like he hasn’t moved from his chair since he returned.

  “Alexios, are you…”

  “Save it,” I snap. I don’t want to see his face right now. I can’t handle another glaring second of what he calls “care”.

  He stands from his chair anyway, hands raised as if I’ll gladly fall into them.

  “Do you know what you were given?” he asks, voice heavy with worry. “Perhaps I can cleanse it from your body.”

  “I said save it!” I repeat sharply as I swat at one of his open hands. “I came back, didn’t I? That should be enough for you right now.”

  The guilt tangles with the anger which tangles even more with the nausea and I stumble past him, hand over my mouth. I barely make it to the trash bin, retching hard as my entire body convulses sharply. Whatever poison I willingly invited into my body comes back up in waves of disgust over and over.

  My throat fucking burns and I can feel Marquis standing close enough to catch me if I collapse. When it seems like there’s nothing left in my stomach to give up, I wipe my mouth with a trembling hand.

  “I’m fine,” I mutter bitterly, refusing to meet his eyes as I stand.

  It’s the most obvious lie I’ve ever told him. I drag myself to my bedroom, unable to deal with any more of his attention as I shed my clothes along the way. The bed accepts me without the reprimanding Marquis will very likely give me at some point. When I glance at the doorway, he’s there… just as I assumed he’d be.

  Lucky me, I say to myself as I roll my eyes.

  “Go away,” I mumble before pushing my face deeper into the pillow.

  Fortunately, it seems as though he’ll actually listen to me for once, clearly understanding that I’m too exhausted to be kinder right now. As soon as his footsteps trail back down the hallway, I burrow into the sheets and try my best to fall into an easier trance, even as a fresh wave of nausea presses in on me.

  --

  At first, I think I’m still in my hazy trance since the sounds are still aching behind my eyes while words tangle with whatever still pulses through my veins. My eyes don’t even open until I hear my name being yelled out from somewhere in the house.

  “… absolutely reckless,” I hear Marquis say. “He could have been killed, Phaedra. He did not know a single thing about them.”

  “Or he could have been left alone which you seem incapable of doing,” Phaedra responds, frustration in her voice clear as day as a glass is set down too hard.

  I lie very still in bed, listening.

  “He could barely stand!”

  “Do you truly believe I do not worry for him, Marquis?” she snaps at him.

  Even from my room, I can hear both of their footsteps pacing through the bedroom and out into the hallway.

  “We should have intervened before it ever reached this point.”

  “How?” Phaedra pushes back. “You wish to drag him home like a disobedient child even though the Mother provided her approval?!”

  “Damn you, why must you both enable this behavior?” Marquis asks her. “Does this amuse you?”

  Phaedra laughs softly at him.

  “You are panicking simply because you cannot guide him into your arms whenever you wish.”

  My face is buried in the pillow once more. Hearing them argue about me and dissect my choices makes my stomach turn.

  “Allow him to rest now,” she follows up softly. “Leave him be so he can recover, hmm?”

  “Yes,” Marquis agrees. “However, if the Mother continues to permit this…”

  “She will,” Phaedra interrupts. “Perhaps she knows what is best for him.”

  Marquis scoffs and the footsteps retreat into the bedroom. I lie there with my eyes still closed, even as silence falls back through the house. I’d love nothing more than to fall into an uninterrupted trance, but just as I attempt it, the sickness comes back without so much as a warning, rolling through me hard enough that it takes my breath away. My knees hit the floor as my body fights me again.

  Cruel sobs tear loose as I retch painfully into the nearby trash bin. In a matter of seconds, I’m reduced to some pathetic, shaking thing on the bedroom floor. Marquis’s footsteps ring out, door opening quickly as he drops down beside me. His hands gather my hair, holding it away from my face as another wave of bile hits. I gag through it, shoulders convulsing hard even as Marquis runs a hand down my back in soft motions, my long hair still being held back by the other.

  “I’m sorry,” I sob in between the heaves. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  There’s another wet heave, followed by another shitty apology.

  “You apologize as though it will fix this,” Marquis says, sighing deeply.

  When there’s nothing left but painfully dry heaves, he reaches for a cloth and gently cleans my mouth and chin. My body pitifully falls into him in its exhaustion. He pulls me closer, keeping one arm around my shoulder to hold me upright. With my face pressed against his firm chest, my hands reach up to cling to him like it’s the only thing keeping me from unraveling further.

  Then, so softly that I almost think I imagine it, his smooth lips press against my forehead. Whatever anger I held against him earlier has been soothed out of me. Before I can tell myself to stop, I lift my head and capture his lips with mine in a kiss that’s far too clumsy.

  Fuck.

  I just made a terrible mistake, I think.

  But then he leans deeper into it, hand tightening around my shoulder as he pulls me even closer. He kisses me again… and again, with each one turning slower and steadier than the last. Just as my hand comes up to intwine itself in his blond hair, he pulls back.

  “I have waited years for that kiss,” he admits painfully. “And this is how you choose to appease my desire, Alexios?”

  “… What?” I ask, blinking up at him in stupor.

  “Even now, I can taste the drinks. I can taste the men and women who you so desperately clung to last night. I despise that I cannot simply taste you, Alexios.”

  Before I can even answer, his arms loosen their grip on me as he rises.

  “Marquis,” I start, but he holds up a hand to silence me.

  “If you continue to behave this way, you will not be permitted to leave except to fulfill your duties to the Mother.”

  “What?!”I gasp, stumbling as I stand up.

  “If this is how you choose to cope, I must draw a line.”

  “That’s insane. Why am I not allowed to have a life outside of killing for her?”

  The way he folds his hands behind his back and keeps his posture composed now, like he’s pretending nothing just happened between us, has me absolutely seething.

  “You’re seriously punishing me for one bad night?” I ask in total disbelief. “Or is this about the kiss? If it is, then I apologize!”

  He says nothing, watching as my chest rises and falls with anger and betrayal. I turn my face away, eyes burning from tears. Just moments ago, he was falling into me, lips answering mine hungrily, but now…

  “That is quite enough,” Phaedra cuts in from down the hallway. “Both of you, stop this!”

  At the sound of her voice, I’m soothed by the thought of someone who isn’t trying to cage me in. If I can just out of this room and away from him, maybe I’ll feel safe again.

  “Phaedra…” I cry out, stumbling towards the door as it slams shut inches just away from my face.

  The thunderous crack rattles the walls and knocks me back. I turn angrily towards Marquis and find him with his hand held up.

  “What in the hells?” I gasp. “Marquis…”

  “Do not do this to him,” Phaedra warns from outside the door.

  Marquis doesn’t look away from me.

  “I cannot allow this to continue, Phaedra!”

  My hands come up to beat at his chest, but it’s no use. What’s a wrecked and hungover drow to an almost 2,000-year-old vampire?

  “This isn’t fair!” I tell him. “You can’t just trap me in here like I’m some kind of pet.”

  “Do you not see that I am stopping you from running into another disaster?” Marquis bites back at me.

  “This is a mistake, Marquis!” Phaedra shouts, fists slamming against the door.

  I shove weakly at his chest again, but he still doesn’t move. After thirty-five years… was all of Marquis’s lessons and kindness only ever conditional? Is this who Marquis truly is?