[Data Log: March 14, 2026]
[Coordinates: SSS+ Cafe - Earth]
The usually deserted and quiet neighborhood was suddenly ripped apart by the frantic wee-woo-wee-woo of sirens. Blue and red lights flashed hysterically in front of the door of the failing cafe.
A group of hulking police officers were struggling, drenched in sweat, as they fought to handcuff and shove a scruffy, bearded madman into the back of a patrol unit.
That "bastard" being pinned to the floor of the vehicle was none other than the owner of the SSS+ Cafe himself.
He was thrashing like a maniac, eyes sunken with dark circles and streaked with blood, howling at the sky:
"I WILL RULE THE WORLD! DEBAUCHERY! HOOKERS! BOOZE! I’LL SCREW EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!!!"
The onlookers could only shake their heads, completely baffled. The guy owned a prime storefront and lived a leisurely life scrolling Toptop all day. How the hell does a life that comfortable drive a man insane? Life is a joke.
Being "crazy" isn't a crime, but this guy was a specialized breed of anti-social menace.
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
Earlier that morning, he had wrapped himself in nothing but a duvet, wielding a non-stick frying pan as he ran wild in the streets. In his mind, he was surrounded by naked hallucinations that were exploding into bloody dust. So, he swung blindly. He kicked men in the crotch, he kicked the elderly in the crotch, he even kicked kids in the crotch. Whenever a beautiful woman walked by, he’d lunged forward to slap her backside, violently thumping his own crotch while screaming: "Kick my junk! Kick it harder, you bitch!!!"
The climax came when the police arrived to quell the riot. He saw the men in blue and, thinking they were terrorist hallucinations from the future, swung his frying pan, landing "clong-clong" hits right on their heads with perfect accuracy.
A hopeless, beyond-repair nutcase.
Only when his limbs were locked tight and he was tossed like a sack of potatoes onto the floor of the pickup truck did SSS+ slowly open his eyes.
He blinked once. He shook his head violently.
"Huh?"
SSS+ lifted his head, eyes darting around. Motherfucker! The hallucinations were gone. No gore. No screams of "Please save us." No naked ghosts exploding into blood-mist. The world was crisp, clear, and quiet again.
But... the cold bite of the handcuffs on his wrists wasn't an illusion. And the "bullet-like" glares from the uniformed men surrounding him weren't either.
He had actually been busted by the cops. Goddamnit!
Realizing his current predicament, the "World Ruler" aura drained out of him faster than a drop in blood pressure. He collapsed onto his knees on the truck floor with a heavy thud.
He crawled forward, his cuffed hands clumsily clutching the lower leg of a young female officer named Hana.
"Officer! Beautiful officer!" SSS+ wailed, snot and tears smearing all over her boots. "I’m not crazy anymore! I probably just lost it for a second because I pulled an all-nighter gaming! Please let me go, let me go home... I still have a cafe to run, officer!!!"
Hana froze. Her lip twitched as she looked down at the creature at her feet with pure, unadulterated disgust.
"What the fuck..." she thought.
She had been a cop for years and had dealt with plenty of "internet tough guys," but she had never seen anyone swap personalities so pathetically. Was there anyone else like him? One second, he was a drug-addled psycho shouting about ruling the world and screwing everyone’s lineage.
The next, he’s a spineless coward kneeling in the dirt, obsessed with... going home to sell coffee?!
"Shut up! Save it for the station!" Hana snapped, shoving SSS+’s bird-nest head away.
The police car wailed as it sped off, leaving behind a failing cafe. In a shift he didn't even realize, the timeline of 2066 had completely vanished, and with it, his nightmare hallucinations had officially ended.
