I found myself in a small room. No more than a dozen feet in any direction. It had brightly painted walls that looked more like someone had just thrown a bunch of cans of different colored paint all across it. Or maybe like a clown exploded… The floor was white with a pinwheel of red spinning through it like those old ‘hypnotize you’ gadgets in cartoons.

  There was only one exit, an oddly shaped door with a large clown faced knocker sitting in the middle of it. Fuck, I said no clowns…and here we are. In an exploded clown room with a clown door. Next a clown will pop out and attack me or something.

  I looked around the room but quickly had to admit that there wasn’t anywhere for even a small clown to hide. I resummoned my spear that had disappeared as I stepped through the mirror portal. Just in case.

  Behind me I heard the others step into the room. Though I did look to make sure they weren’t clowns. Phew, just Ashley. I mean, not that Ashley is a just Ashley kind of person. Because she’s really kind of im– And there’s Oliver. Good ole Oliver.

  “I was really hoping that John would already be here,” Oliver said dejectedly. “Do you think we could go back and search or something?” He reached out to the only other object in the room. The standing mirror that we’d just stepped through. He pressed his hands to it, but couldn’t press himself back through the mirror.

  He banged his fist onto the mirror and Ashley stepped up behind him. She turned him around and pulled him into a hug and whispered words of encouragement to him. I watched his shoulders shake while he tried to collect himself.

  I nearly lost control of my own tightly held grief. Mara wasn’t with us either. She was one of my oldest and closest friends. One of my only friends. My eyes got that itchy feeling as they teared up and I choked as my throat closed around a sob trying to escape.

  Just then the mirror shimmered and I raised my spear. Out of the mirror stepped the man of the hour himself. John stood in the room for a moment, taking in the scene.

  “Are you alright, baby?” He asked quietly as he quickly moved up to wrap his arms around Oliver.

  Oliver let out a loud shuddering sob and turned in his friends’ arms to cling to John. “I-I th-thought you’d–”

  “Shhhh…” John shushed Oliver. “I’m here. Nothing bad happened.”

  As John consoled his husband there was another shimmer of the mirror and out stepped Mara. I immediately launched myself forward and wrapped her in my arms. She hugged me back just as hard. I hadn’t wanted to think about not seeing her again. “Don’t do that shit again,” I whispered to her as I shook a little bit.

  She swatted my arm as she pulled back. “You’re the one that got snatched into a mirror first. Don’t start with me.” She smiled kindly back at me, “But I’m glad to see you too.” We both surreptitiously wiped tears from our eyes as we stepped away from each other.

  “So, what’s up with this room?” John asked when Oliver finally gave him a little space.

  “Don’t know,” I shrugged. “We just got here right before you all did.”

  Ashley walked over to the door and grabbed the handle. The face on the door suddenly came to life saying, “Nuh uh, uh. Not so fast missy.”

  Ashley jumped back from the door like it had shocked her. Her gun snapped up and pointed at the clown grinning at us. I stepped behind Mara. Like she was going to protect me. I almost rolled my eyes at myself.

  “Welcome friends!” The door shouted. “All you need to do to pass through my door is to answer a few questions. Nothing too hard, I assure you.” He giggled one of those insane clown laughs.

  We all looked at each other while the door grinned at us. Ashley shrugged her shoulders at me and mouthed an apology. At least someone felt bad for me and my dislike of clowns. It wasn’t a fear. I just didn’t like the jolly little fuckers. Honest.

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  When no one said anything the door clown continued, “What kind of ship has two mates but no captain?” He wiggled his eyebrows at us. “You’ll never get it. Do you want a hint? I bet you want a hint, but I’m not going to give you one. Come on! Guess! Guess!” If it had a body the clown would have been bouncing in place.

  The entire party groaned. When it was Mara’s turn to GM games she loved to throw out these kinds of riddles in the middle of dungeons. I looked over and Mara was almost as giddy as the damn clown.

  “A relationship!” Mara shouted.

  “Oh, that’s just bad,” Ashley complained.

  “How do you know so many horrible puns and riddles?” I asked.

  “Come on! That one was obvious,” Mara laughed. “Every fanfic reader knows about ships.”

  The clown looked a little down trodden that we’d gotten it so quickly. But then he perked back up. Smiling big he said, “Ok, that one was just a warmup. Easy peasy. This next one will really stump you though, I just know it.”

  “Bring it on Pennywise,” Mara taunted.

  “Who makes it, has no need of it. Who buys it, has no use for it. Who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?” The clown asked.

  Everyone but me groaned again. Oliver asked, “Are you using the same riddle book as her?” He pointed at Mara, “She asked that same one last session.”

  “A coffin,” Ashley groaned loudly.

  Once again the clown looked sad for a few moments. He seemed to rally after a bit though. Grinning just as widely as before, “Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?”

  The group looked around at each other silently. Nobody looked particularly concerned. I hadn’t been as exposed to Mara’s attempts at riddles having left the gaming group after only a handful of games together. So, I waited while the others seemed to converse with their eyes. I had no clue what any of these could have been. The ship one was kind of cute though.

  With a shrug of her shoulders Mara answered, “Nothing.”

  “Godsdammit! Seriously?!” The clown shouted. “Come on! Ok. You won’t get this one. I’m done playing around. They come out at night without being called, and are lost in the day without being stolen. What are they?”

  Mara silently indicated with her waving arms for all of us to huddle up. “I know this one too, but I feel kinda bad about just blurting out the answer. Poor guy must be trying so hard to stump us.”

  “Are you serious?” I asked angrily. “This is a dungeon. We are trying to leave here, not make friends with the monsters!” I hissed at her.

  She gave me sad puppy dog eyes. My kryptonite. It wasn’t fair. I could never tell her no when she looked at me like that. “Gracy…he’s trying so hard.” She looked over her shoulder at the clown gloating down at us. “We can at least pretend to be stumped a little.”

  “I hate you,” I deadpanned.

  “I love you too,” she immediately answered back. Standing up she turned to the clown, “Stars.”

  “Motherfucker! You have got to be– Nevermind. This one will surely stump you.” The clown tried to calm down but he could no longer bring forth the large smile he’d had before. It was more of a teeth bared grimace than anything. “Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?”

  I looked around at the others quickly, “Corn on the cob? Right?”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?! Even the dumb one…?” The clown seethed.

  “Hey!” I shouted at the same time as Mara and Ashley.

  “She’s not dumb, just a little slow,” Mara deadpanned.

  “What the fuck?” I screeched. Mara just laughed.

  Ashley came over and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Only with some things that are staring her in the face,” she murmured in my ear. I blushed hard and looked around at anything but her beautiful, smug face.

  “Ok…” the clown was really seething now. “This one–”

  “How many riddles are there?” John shouted over the clown. “We’ve answered all your riddles, let us out!” He grabbed hold of the doorknob and gave it a hard twist. It didn’t so much as budge.

  “When-you-stop-to-look, you-can-always-see-me. But-if-you-try-to-touch-me, you-can-never-feel-me. Although-you-walk-towards-me, I-remain-the same-distance-from-you. What-am-I?” The clown shouted out as fast as he could. I’m not sure he paused to breathe. Not that I’m sure he needs to though.

  “Leeroy Jenkins!” John shouted at the top of his lungs. His mithril coated his fists and quickly morphed into large sledgehammers. With a mighty swing he smashed them into the door, which immediately splintered under the assault.

  John went absolutely berserk on the door. Crashing, crunching noises rang out for several minutes. By the time he was done there wasn’t much but splinters laying across the room and into the long hallway that stretched out on the other side of the doorway. The clown had taken quite the beating himself and was nothing more than a misshapen blob of bronze laying in the middle of the floor. John stood panting above it all, a satisfied grin on his face. “I always wanted to do that with Mara’s traps,” he wheezed.

  Mara shook her head and patted him on the shoulder. “By the way, the answer was horizon,” Mara sing-songed as she bounced through the empty doorway. John and Oliver on her heels.

  I kicked the clown’s broken head into the wall as I walked past. Stupid clown. I warned everyone. Did they listen? No.

  Ashley wrapped her arm around mine and we left the room together behind the rest of the team. Was she dragging my grumpy ass? Maybe. But I quickly got over it and leaned into her side as we walked away from that headache.