Up in heaven, gods and goddesses were throwing dice.
The dice were normal six-sided dice, totally normal, with little dots indicating the value of each side.
None of the dice were weighted, at least, now they weren’t weighted. The God of Gambling had been disqualified when the Goddess of Justice had figured it out.
All the gods and goddesses wore togas and dresses made of brilliant white cloth, with clasps of gleaming gold, but this was all hidden under dark cloaks, with the hoods pulled up, obscuring their faces and names.
This was just how it had to be.
The game of dice had started out small, but it had grown larger as more and more gods and goddesses were drawn in by the prize: the right to be first to assist Lily.
Now it was an entire tournament, with a proper bracket, and only two gods remained.
Six six, tied.
Six six, tied.
Six six, tied.
Over and over, the two gods, obscured by cloak and hood, threw their dice and tied. All the other gods and goddesses surrounded them, observing the match.
Everyone wanted to help Lily.
And why was that?
Because Lily was the most pious person in the entire world.
Her Piety Points were through the roof!
Lily’s Mama had been entirely correct: the gods and goddesses really did help out good people when they needed it.
The gods and goddesses also kept score. They tracked all the good things a person did, all the bad things a person did, and how much they worshiped the gods.
Lily was the pinnacle of piety. The acme of adulation. She was the best!
Sure, there had been a bit of a kerfuffle when she drew on the wall of her room, in the house her parents were renting, but she had been honest about it when her parents found out, and given that it was the symbol of the gods to help her prayers…
In the end, her parents retroactively gave their permission—given that Lily’s Papa had determined he could clean it up before they moved—and Lily got bonus Piety Points.
It was a bit unfortunate that Lily’s prayers hadn’t been answered until now. The gods and goddesses had wanted to help her weeks ago, but all divine intervention had been put on hold when the gods and goddesses had started arguing about who would help Lily next.
The God of Work had been the last to help her, by making sure there would be plenty of chores for her to do.
The Goddess of Beauty had wanted to help next, but the God of Rest had demanded to go next.
The God of Gambling had then suggested dice to decide, and their game had snowballed into an entire tournament of dice that had been going on for weeks.
Now, the final match was going.
Six six, tied.
Six six, tied.
Six six, tied.
Over and over the two gods threw their dice.
On the one side was the God of Death. The God of Taxes hadn’t joined in the tournament, having been shouted down by all the other gods and goddesses, so the God of Death, inevitable as he was, was one of the favorites to win.
On the other side was the God of Literature. He was a dark horse in the tournament, even though he wasn’t really a horse at all. But he was putting up a good fight, and in the end…
Stolen novel; please report.
Five six.
Winner!
Even though the only inevitable things in life are death and taxes, death isn’t infallible. Sometimes, people get the better of death.
Faith coins changed hands among the gods and goddesses, who had been doing bets on the side as to who would win. The gods and goddesses didn’t use human money, after all.
The God of Literature won, and everyone held their breath to see what he would do for Lily.
Nobody was quite sure what the God of Literature could do. He wasn’t seen as one of the more powerful gods. He was mostly a bookworm…
His hood shadowed his face as he straightened up, leaving his die on the floor. He turned slowly, and spoke.
“To our beloved Lily, I will grant my words of power.”
The gods and goddesses waited with baited breath, though none of them understood exactly what he meant.
“My words of power are thus: ‘This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.’”
And with that, all the gods and goddesses let out a sigh of relief.
“Finally!” Hercules, the God of Strength, said as he pulled off his hood and cloak. His toga was merely a decoration on his huge body, rippling with muscle.
“Indeed!” agreed Aphrodite, the Goddess of Beauty, who had been most annoyed to have to cover up her gorgeous face and hair.
Homer, the ascended God of Literature, nodded sagely as he pulled back his own hood. “Yes, now we can go all out in helping precious little Lily!”
Everyone cheered as they pulled back their own hoods, revealing their identities which were totally coincidental.
Hades, the God of Death, pulled back his hood and revealed himself to be a skeleton, which was kind of spooky but not too scary. Even though he didn’t have a face, he still managed to look exasperated. “Did we really have to shoot dice for days if that was all you were going to do?”
Homer, though blind, winked at his fellow God. “Well, it was more dramatic this way, wasn’t it?”
“Boo!” shouted all the other gods and goddesses.
“Lily’s been working herself to the bone this whole time!” Hypnos, the God of Rest shouted, and his wife the Goddess of Rest and Relaxation nodded slowly as she reclined on a chair next to him.
“Oh, relax, would you? Everything’s guaranteed to work out just fine, now. It’s that kind of story…” Homer said, but the other gods and goddesses made faces. They turned to Hades, who was next in line to help Lily.
Again, Hades managed to give Homer an incredulous look despite just being a skeleton. It was really impressive that he managed to pull it off.
“I can take my turn now, right?” he asked Justitia, the Goddess of Justice. She was a tall woman, wearing a blindfold over her eyes and holding a balance with scales in one hand, and a sword in the other. She had been the one overseeing the tournament and each throw of the dice after the God of Gambling had been caught cheating.
Justitia nodded. “Yes, go ahead, Hades. I can’t bear to see Lily, our beloved Lily, struggle like this much longer…”
At this, all the other gods and goddesses paled.
“Uh, wait a minute…” one said.
“This is Hades, right? The God of Death. What’s he gonna do…?” another asked, worried.
The gods and goddesses murmured amongst themselves.
Murmur murmur. Whisper whisper. ざわ... ざわ…
Nobody could stop him, though. He had won the dice throws fair and square, and Justitia had declared he could take action to help Lily.
“Hmm… I see that you all have so little faith in me,” Hades said, stroking his jawbone with a skeletal hand.
The gods and goddesses wanted to tell him not to kill anyone, but they couldn’t.
Despite his methods, he was often quite effective at solving problems in the mortal realm.
“But I love Lily just as much as anyone else here, and I want her to be happy as well. Obviously, ending a life is not the correct thing to do.”
The gods and goddesses breathed a sigh of relief, and then once again held their breaths to see what the God of Death would do.
Hades took a deep breath, despite not having lungs, and spoke. “I will haunt Lily with ghosts!”
The gods and goddesses were stunned into silence, and then burst into shouting.
“What are you doing?!”
“We’re never letting the God of Gambling decide anything ever again!”
“This is awful. Lilyyyyy!”
And so it was decided. The God of Literature gave to Lily his words of power, and the God of Death haunted her with ghosts.
While the heavens were in an uproar, Lily crawled into bed, tired from a long day of working, and hoping that someday her prayers would be answered.
The next morning, waking up early as she always did, she saw two ghosts in her room, standing sheepishly in a corner, and she screamed.
“Aaaaaaaugh!”
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
:D
I have another ongoing fiction, check it out! Tonally it's very different from Lily — Beloved of the Gods, but it's got crafting, litRPG, dungeon crawling, survival horror... uh, it has a happy ending, I swear!
