Chapter 27: Liu Old Six

  For a fairly long time afterwards I remained silent, I didn't know how to chat with someone whose mother was called Su Chongwei and whose father was called Su Wangshi...

  During this time, I also want to understand many sad things - why she is so gentle with women and disdainful of men; why she doesn't know what shyness is; why she doesn't care about the revealing degree of her clothes at all, and... why others call her Little Dragon Wife and she doesn't object.

  Thinking of this, I said gloomily: "Is it that when others call you Xiao Long Sao, your brain automatically filters me out as Su Long Shi?"

  Su Jing smiled rarely: "Anyway, I'm not at a loss."

  I'm so frustrated I just want to bang my head against a tree: thinking I've taken advantage of someone, but actually being played with. But then again, it seems like I haven't lost anything either. No matter how you look at it, such a beautiful girl didn't ask for a house or a car and still spent the whole day as your wife, that's already a gain. This is a matriarchal society, now isn't this our territory? I'm happy again.

  It seems that the contradictions between people are often caused by differences in worldview and values. For example, two nouveau riche individuals competing with each other might get into a fight over who has more gold teeth or diamond rings. On the other hand, if one of them were to meet a university professor, they would likely have a polite conversation about the weather, despite secretly looking down on each other. Another example is that in our culture, saying "I'm your dad" is considered an insult, but what if there's a place where being someone's son is actually considered advantageous? In that case, the person from that place would probably get along well with us...

  I asked her: "Is it true that on your entire continent women have the final say?"

  Su Jingdao said: "Only in Women's Country is this the case; in other nations of the Federal Union, men still rule with their backward and ignorant ways."

  I rolled my eyes and said, "Who knows who's lagging behind? You're making a big deal out of this, no other country will come to pick a fight with you?"

  "There were, but they were all defeated by us." Su Jing said calmly.

  I said with a sigh: "How embarrassing, can't even beat a group of women, no wonder your mainland was almost taken over by others."

  Su Jing's face darkened with anger: "Don't use your own biases to think about other people's problems, fairly speaking those men are not bad at fighting, it's just that we are stronger. We have the world's best light cavalry and archers, and... the most brilliant generals!"

  "Your general is also a woman?"

  "That's for sure." Su Jing said: "Those men hated her, feared her, yet couldn't help but obey her, and in the end they could only bow their heads and surrender, giving her the title of 'Mainland Military God'."

  "Is she your idol?" I felt strange, someone as arrogant as Su Jing speaking of the female general with such respect.

  Su Jing's eyes shone brightly as he said, "To be honest, I've never admired anyone on the entire continent, but General is an exception. Although she doesn't know any martial arts, even if I were in front of her, I would still deeply admire the temperament she possesses."

  "I said: 'What about your queen? Don't you admire her?'"

  Su Jingdao said, "I admire her too, but that feeling is more like adoration. The Empress is supreme and above all, yet I feel even more at ease in front of her, unlike with the General."

  Su Jing said a few words to me and then ignored me, starting to think about her own things. I had no choice but to look around listlessly with my head raised. I had been to this place several times when I was young, always sneaking in over the wall with a group of kids. My dad and Aunt Meng would never have brought me to a place like this. It's changed a lot since I last came here.

  I was in a daze when I suddenly heard someone say, "Little friend, you have an oracle today." I jumped in fright and lowered my head to find that under the shade of a tree by the wall, on a small stool sat a dirty old man with half a bottle of beer beside him and a Nine Palaces Eight Trigrams diagram in front of him that was even dirtier than he was. The old fellow had been dozing off there, but now he opened his bleary eyes, which still had sleep in them, and gazed at me intently. Seeing me look at him, he hastily beckoned to me with a black hand that had stopped in mid-air: "Right, right, it's you, come over here."

  I'm delighted, since the city's rectification, this kind of swindler is rarely seen. I stopped in my tracks and asked him: "What's a 'have卦'?"

  Those who have fate will receive good advice from me, while those without fate can only offer a thousand pieces of gold in vain.

  "So I'm destined for this? Then what wise words do you have to offer?"

  The old man looked at me with a serious expression and said, "First tell me if you're sincere or not?"

  "If I say no, can I leave?"

  The old man patted me with a limp hand, like a deflated balloon: "Young man, sit down first. Honestly, on such a hot day, where else can you go?" He first threw an expired newspaper at me to sit on, and when I didn't take it, he fished out a row of cards filled with surnames and said mysteriously, "Let me calculate what your surname is. Take out the card that has your surname from these cards. Don't laugh, each card has dozens of surnames, and I'm sure to guess incorrectly, but I can still point out which one you are."

  I smiled and said, "I'll take one first, then you let me take another one later. Two look the same, but actually a pair has one with a different surname. Those who have been to elementary school for three years know what my surname is." Jokingly, from childhood I was in contact with all kinds of people, how could I not understand this little trick? However, its principle is the intersection principle in intersection and union, which can only be learned after entering high school...

  The old man listened to me finish and awkwardly pulled out another stack of cards from his pocket and scattered them on the ground, muttering: "Actually, it's not what you said, I'm still worth counting, right?"

  "You still have some fresh tricks up your sleeve, right? It can't be just these two moves?"

  The old man thought for a moment, then confidently laid out 6 cards on the ground: "Like this, you choose one, but don't tell me, in a while..."

  "I continued: 'Later you changed all 6 cards, and no matter which one I chose, it was gone.'"

  The old man's hand stopped... Half a day passed before he slowly raised his head and said, "Youngster, you've read two books on magic tricks and now you're exposing my secrets. This isn't right of you. I really didn't bring my bowl of goldfish that can line up in formation, or else I'd have to open your eyes!"

  I'm still a bit of an amateur, but hearing about this sort of thing has piqued my interest. I asked, "Goldfish that can line up? Just tell me how to do it."

  The old man is awesome this time: "Hehe, there's also something you don't know about?"

  I'm also bored to death, so I squat down and light a cigarette for the old man, forcing a smile: "Tell me, elder."

  The old man slowly spat out two mouthfuls of smoke, and then said straightforwardly: "There's nothing strange about it. Put a magnet in the belly of a live fish, hold an iron above it, and they'll line up however you want them to."

  I said disappointedly: "Is that it?"

  The old man said, "You think so, this trick has been around since the year of the dog, it's not worth anything. Anyway, if you really want to know, just ask someone else and they'll tell you for a dollar or two. It's better than me telling you out of kindness."

  I said: "Isn't that cruel?"

  The old man said, "The cost is still high. You calculate that ten goldfish would be at least several dozen yuan. I'd die if I performed once and the earnings wouldn't even cover the losses. If you want me to go on the Spring Festival Gala, it's almost not worth it."

  I nodded: "That's right, but Spring Festival Gala won't let such a stupid program on, will it?"

  The old man took a few puffs of his cigarette and suddenly reacted: "Hey, I'm asking you, are you counting or not? What's the point of following me around and listening to nonsense?"

  I burst out laughing and said: "I forgot your main job is fortune-telling."

  The old man shook his head and said, "You've got a good point there. To be honest with you, I'm the 66th generation of Mao Mountain, and I can enter heaven and earth, examine the situation, and measure people's fortunes. Young friend, do you want to have your fortune told?"

  I waved my hand and smiled: "You can rest now, don't carry it on your back anymore."

  The old man smiled, but immediately became serious and said to me: "Other things can be joked about, but the fact that I am a descendant of Maoshan is true - I am indeed the 67th generation of Maoshan!"

  "...you were just 66 years old."

  "Did I just say 66?"

  "Yes."

  "Uh, empty for generations, empty for generations."

  I was speechless and said, "If you were to wear a Taoist crown and robe, I would have closed one eye and believed you. But with just this little bit of blood, you still want me to give you money? You'd be scolding me behind my back, wouldn't you?"

  The old man listened to the two words and didn't say anything, then took out two sleeves with zippers from the torn pocket behind him. I was just wondering what he was doing when I saw him quickly attach the sleeves to the short-sleeved shirt he was wearing now, zip them up, and suddenly the short-sleeved shirt that had looked like a copper coin jacket turned into a Taoist robe with nine palaces and eight trigrams - apparently made from the same fabric as the eight trigram diagram on the ground...

  The old man smiled and looked up at me: "If I dress like this, won't you feel more comfortable in your heart?"

  I was beaten by the old man, who took out money while saying: "You're ruthless, you count it, I'll listen."

  The old man looked up at the sky, shaking his head and saying: "This donor's heavenly court is full of blessings, truly a auspicious sign——" He turned to me and asked, "Can you still hear me from behind?"

  I threw 20 yuan in front of him and said harshly, "Listen! I listened to a night of crosstalk for just 20 yuan, you think you can get rid of me with just a few words? You have to carry the sedan chair for me until it's done."

  The old man stuffed the money into his pocket and continued to recite with satisfaction: "When you were young, you were a good learner, your heart was pure and kind, and when you reached adulthood, you were humble and harmonious. You had the help of noble people, but beware of petty people who would hinder you. In your prime years..."

  "As soon as I heard the two words 'peach blossom', I suddenly had an idea: 'Wait, don't recite any more.' I pointed at Su Jing and said, 'You calculate her, don't calculate anything else. You just need to figure out where she's from, and no matter how much money you want, I'll give it to you.'"

  The old man raised his head and took a close look at Su Jing. Suddenly, his expression changed slightly as he said, "This young lady... doesn't seem to be from our world, does she?"

  Division line

  Xiao Hua officially wishes everyone a happy new year here! Thank you for the red envelopes and votes. Liu Lao Liu has made a brilliant debut, and in the new year, he will inherit all the qualities of Hun Liu Lao and Yao Liu Lao, cheating and deceiving without any scruples, achieving a trilogy of Liu Lao Liu's legend. Wishing him to successfully step onto the Spring Festival Gala stage next year.