Chapter 13: The First Mashup in History

  The entrance of the supermarket on the second floor, Gao Xiaowei and Xiao Qian were already waiting there. Gao Xiaowei was pushing a shopping cart, swaying back and forth in front and behind, feeling bored to death.

  I pulled over several cars as soon as I arrived and gave one to each person: "Want to buy whatever you want, someone is treating today."

  Then we set off with a flourish.

  Near the entrance is a fruit specialty store, with all sorts of fruits on display, including common and uncommon ones, as well as out-of-season ones from Taiwan.

  Xiao Qian pushed the cart, following Gao Xiao Wei with a waddling gait. As they passed by a durian that had been split open, she scrunched up her face and sniffed, saying: "What's gone bad?"

  Gao Xiaowei turned her head and smiled: "Sister, that's durian. It smells bad but tastes good, come try some?"

  Xiao Qian leaned in and sniffed, covering her mouth with a smile: "It's really delicious."

  I told her: "Put whatever you like in the car, and we can eat after we've settled the bill."

  "Oh." Xiao Qian nodded.

  I smiled and said, "But it can be smelled."

  Gao Xiaowei led the way, quickly passing through the cosmetics area and arriving at the snack shelves. She first threw two chocolate bars into the cart, then grabbed jellies, potato chips, crackers, and milk tea, piling them high in no time. Looking back, she saw that Xiao Qian's cart was still empty and said, "Xiao Qian, grab some!"

  Xiao Qian had long been dazzled by the various beautiful packaging, and it wasn't until Gao Xiao Wei called out to her that she hesitated and picked up a bottle of mouthwash. I threw a few other flavors onto her car from behind: "Try these ones."

  Gao Xiaowei finished eating and went to the cosmetics counter, picking up a tube of lip balm and a bottle of nail polish. Coincidentally, the supermarket was having a promotion on cookies today, and the salesperson was using toothpicks to hold up pieces of cookies for people to try. Gao Xiaowei wasn't interested in this at all, and quickly ran off to look at eye cream instead. The salesperson held out a piece of cookie pitifully to Xiao Qian and said: "Miss, try some, it's okay if you don't buy any."

  Xiao Qian hesitated for a moment, then leaned in to take a sniff and smiled: "It's really not bad." She took two packs from the car, and the salesperson beamed with joy, holding up the cookie again for the person behind to try. The person took a bite, furrowed their brow and said: "This cookie doesn't have any flavor at all?"

  ……

  When we turned to the cooked food area, Xiao Qian sniffed and sniffed, and soon let out a satisfied burp: "Uh, I can't stay here anymore - it's going to burst my belly." We all laughed, it seemed that she had come to the supermarket for free, thinking of eating whatever she wanted without spending a single cent.

  After leaving the supermarket, each of us had a big bag in our hands. Gao Xiaowei was in high spirits and suggested continuing to stroll around, we weren't hungry, let alone Xiao Qian, so we agreed with her.

  Gao Xiaowei didn't bring any spare clothes, seeing that we agreed, she quickly slipped into a clothing store. The salesperson greeted us warmly and asked: "What kind of clothes are you looking to buy?"

  Gao Xiaowei said: "I want to buy pants."

  The shop assistant looked at her and smiled: "Little sister, are you a fan of Korea or Japan?"

  "I asked Jin Chengwu: 'Do you know what's the difference between Korean and Japanese styles?'"

  Jin Xiang Wudao: "You say."

  "Are Korean pants especially long?"

  "Are Japanese pants particularly short?"

  "That's wrong, Japanese people don't wear pants."

  Jin Chengwu: "......"

  Gao Xiaowei finally didn't know if she was influenced by me, chose a pair of pants that had many pockets but looked normal, came out of the fitting room and asked Xiao Qian: "Sister, how is it?"

  Xiao Qian said: "Not bad, quite good-looking."

  "That's it." Gao Xiaowei had the store clerk wrap up her old pants and, wearing her new ones, skipped away to change locations.

  Next to the shoe cabinet, Gao Xiaowei picked out a pair of sandals that exposed her toes and asked us while looking down at her toes: "What color do you think I should dye my toenails?"

  Jin Chengwu pulled Wu Yongsheng and said: "Old Wu, you should also change into some decent clothes, shoes and all that."

  Old Wu waved his hand repeatedly: "At my age, I don't have the energy to dress up anymore. Just watch and buy something for Little Qian."

  He said that, and Gao Xiaowei immediately said: "Right, sister, why don't you buy anything? Isn't someone paying the bill?"

  Xiao Qian blushed and said: "I'm fine with this body."

  "What's good, must change one set——" Gao Xiaowei pointed to the dazzling array of shoes and said: "First start by choosing from these, this pair looks comfortable, come try it on!" Xiao Qian sighed after listening, and walked away with a resentful tone.

  Gao Xiaowei asked me in a low voice: "What's wrong with Little Qian?"

  I could only whisper to her: "Xiao Qian's sister has thick leg hair..."

  Gao Xiaowei first looked stunned and then asked in confusion: "Then can't she just wear pants?"

  "Hmm..." I found that this girl is still salvageable, not mainstream but not brainless either. I had to continue making excuses, "Xiao Qian has athlete's foot, she's afraid of taking off her shoes and being embarrassed..." Before I could finish two sentences, a good girl was ruined from then on.

  Gao Xiaowei didn't ask anymore.

  After strolling around until mid-afternoon, everyone's hands had gone from holding one bag to two bags. Even Old Wu was forced into buying a suit. Only then did we start looking for a place to eat.

  Don't be afraid of spending money, choose the expensive one.

  "I slapped my thigh: 'What's there to hesitate about? Royal private dishes, let's go!'"

  Lao Wu awkwardly said: "I won't go then?"

  I whispered: "Do you think it's suitable for you to leave now?"

  "Jin Cheng Wudao: 'It's fine if you just take a look without eating.'"

  Old Wu said: "Are you eating while I'm watching?"

  Jin Cheng Wudao: "Or should I buy you a bottle of fertilizer and then go with us?"

  "He said no outside drinks allowed over there."

  ……

  Royal Private Kitchen is the top-notch Chinese restaurant in our local area, a dish of radish can cost you two or three hundred, but it's said that all the chefs have been on TV cooking competitions before, so whether you're someone who cares about the taste or the appearance, this place can satisfy you, of course, as long as you have the money.

  As soon as I came in, I was slightly shocked by the magnificent throne facing me. Many people who came to eat were also taking turns sitting on it and taking pictures, with some posing as if they were worried about the country and its people, while others looked decadent and lawless. Under the throne, there were two rows of red wooden round tables, spaced very wide apart, with chopstick holders, cups, and plates all carefully arranged, giving a real sense of an emperor's grand feast for his ministers.

  A Qing dynasty palace maid dressed waitress flipped her handkerchief over her shoulder and bowed: "Please follow me, everyone."

  Jin Cheng Wu smiled and said: "This place is fun."

  Xiao Qian pulled at my sleeve in surprise and said: "Aren't emperors all gone?"

  I told her: "It's all fake, now we are just emperors."

  After sitting down, the waiter handed me a silk menu. I didn't look at the dishes and was directly stunned by the prices behind the dish names. This is also my first time coming to this place.

  Jin Chengwu took it directly: "I'll take it! Four dried fruits and four candied fruits first, what is this jade and agate thing?"

  The waiter said: "It's just scallions mixed with tofu."

  "Let's have a dish... Is this 'Snow Falling on Fire Flame Mountain' just sugar-coated tomatoes?"

  Waiter: "Uh-huh."

  "Come on, let's have one dish of this... Green dragon crossing the sea..."

  "Cucumber sauce!" I said: "Get some solid food for a change, stop messing around with nonsense."

  "What is braised pig's trotter called in your place?"

  "A cornered beast will still fight."

  "How about boiled fish?"

  "The Third Prince Stirring Up the Sea."

  "One serving."

  He just ordered like that. Jin Chengwu flipped through the menu, his face suddenly changed, and with a "slap", he slammed the menu down. I picked it up and took a look, there was a dish called "Fire Siege Three-legged Golden Crow". I laughed and asked the waiter in a low voice: "What is this thing?"

  The waiter smiled and patiently explained to me: "Roast crow, would you like some?"

  "Never mind."

  "Gaoliu loudly said: 'I want to eat fried pork potato chips!'"

  "Okay, what's this fried potato slice thing called?"

  "Also known as braised pork belly potato chips."

  "Uh..."

  It seems I still have a problem, the waiter smiled and said: "The fish-flavored shredded pork is called the best mix-and-match in history."

  I: “……”

  Division line

  Seeing the chapter title, didn't you think it was finished? Hehe. Actually planned to finish writing about eating this chapter, but got delayed by thinking of dish names...

  Divide and subdivide again and again

  The mixed honeymoon period is over, my point is that substantial content is coming soon. The heroine, Liu Laoliu is ready to go (note the comma, the heroine is not Liu Laoliu!), next chapter a big partner will appear. Who it is I won't say yet...