Chapter 9: The Demons Settle Down

  In the vast ocean of Chinese knowledge, there are many classic works that introduce what to do after encountering a ghost. "Soushenji" says, spit on it! "Liaozhai Zhiyi" says, sleep with it! Lu Xun says, kick it!

  But those are just theories, the ghost in "The Legend of the Condor Hero" is weak and has poor intelligence. In this book, the overall quality of ghosts and monsters is low, I estimate that even Xiaoying can become the ultimate BOSS if she goes there.

  "The Strange Stories from a Chinese Studio" is actually just about some fox spirits who are like Playboy bunnies, with their slender figures and cute personalities, as well as their fluffy tails and long ears. One of my friends had his first wet dream and the enemy in his dream was a fox spirit, and these fox spirits were all cultural and artistic types, they would get hormonal imbalances when they saw scholars and writers, of course this has something to do with the author, we all know that Pu Songling is just a nerdy writer who's also a shut-in.

  As for Mr. Lu Xun's situation, it is completely different from mine. I have also made similar attempts before. What I will face next are not the Golden Armor Guards nor the swindling gangs who want to muddy the waters. I think any of my subsequent performances can be forgiven.

  I said calmly: "Can you promise not to eat me if I don't reveal your identities?"

  Wu Yung-sheng smiled and said, "I don't eat meat—" He paused for a moment before continuing, "or vegetarian food either. I only drink water." As he spoke, he picked up a cup of water and poured it into his shoe: that was where the old locust tree spirit's roots were located.

  Jin Xiang Wudao: "I quite like eating meat."

  I shivered.

  "But I don't eat human flesh, nor do I eat raw meat."

  My heart says that's easy to handle, you take your right hand and touch me, I'll be familiar with it...

  As for Xia Qian, it seems unnecessary to worry too much. Her body is weak and she can't eat anything. However, I immediately thought: absolutely cannot let her smell me...

  Wu Yung-sheng looked at me, who was lying on the ground, and said with a mixture of laughter and tears: "Little Dragon brother, get up and tell us what's going on. If you're not joking with us, why do we all feel that you've gone through a great calamity?"

  Jin Cheng Wudao: "I also find it strange, since he has passed the heavenly tribulation, why doesn't he go back to heaven? It seems we really misjudged him."

  Wu Yongsheng asked me again: "Little Dragon brother, how old are you this year?"

  “22！”

  "What about his age?"

  I said: "24!"

  Wu Yongsheng said: "You are 22 this year, even if you count virtually, it would be 23 at most. How could it be 24?"

  I proudly said: "I was born in December, two years younger than I actually am."

  Wu Yongsheng: "......"

  Jin Chengwu smiled and said: "He really is an ordinary person, someone who has gone through a heavenly tribulation shouldn't have such a temperament."

  Wu Yung-sheng said: "But those who have gone through the heavenly tribulation, which one is not achieved through hard work and bitter cultivation for thousands of years? Who can achieve it at the age of 22?"

  Jin Cheng Wudao: "Old Wu, don't you understand yet? Our understanding of 'Little Dragon Brother' is a misunderstanding. He must have had some special experience."

  Wu Yongsheng asked me: "Little Dragon, have you encountered anything strange these past few days?"

  "Yes, and many!"

  "What's wrong?" Wu Yongsheng asked anxiously.

  I made a bitter face and said: "My shop has an old locust tree spirit, a demon that can turn stones into gold, and a female ghost with no feet!"

  Old Wu: "......"

  Jin Chengwu smiled and said: "What else? There must be something, especially in the past day or two."

  These past couple of days... I just thought about it for a bit and suddenly realized, "I was struck by lightning yesterday!" All the bad luck started from that lightning bolt! And this kind of special experience really isn't easy to forget.

  Lao Wu, Jin Chengwu and Xiao Qian stared at each other in dismay. After a moment, Lao Wu slapped his thigh and exclaimed, "Being struck by lightning is the way to go! Overcoming tribulations requires being struck."

  Jin Cheng Wudao: "Speak quickly."

  I told him everything that happened in the car yesterday.

  "Could it be that I've made a mistake and there's another expert on the carriage?"

  Lao Wu said: "Even if it's true, there shouldn't be any signs of a golden body after the tribulation on Xiao Long's body."

  Jin Cheng Wudao: "I also don't understand."

  Xiao Qian carefully asked me, "Little Dragon brother, after being split, do you have any special feelings? For example, running faster than usual, jumping higher than usual and so on."

  I waved my hand vigorously: "No!" If I were fast, I would have run away long ago.

  Jin Cheng Wu spread his hands and said: "There's no way, it seems this is indeed a misunderstanding."

  Lao Wu pulled me up from the ground, apologetically saying: "I'm really sorry, I thought you were one of us, and you got quite a scare. I sincerely apologize." He said to Jin Chengwu and Xiao Qian, "Shall we go?"

  Jin Chengwu laughed and said, "Old Wu, why are you so stubborn? Can you find a better place to cultivate than this? Since Xiaolong already knows our identities, what's the use of leaving? Besides, we're not bad people."

  I've seen many bad people, but the key issue is that you are not human at all...

  Lao Wu also hesitated, and finally he pulled my hand and said: "Xiao Long, what Jin brother said makes sense too. Can't we just do it like this? Let's just pretend to be ordinary travelers, pay whatever the price is, how about that?"

  "Do you have a spell that can make people forget their past? I don't mind if you use one on me."

  Old Wu smiled and said: "No, this soul-capturing technique is only learned by cultivators of the evil path. Moreover, we are on the right path, if we harm ordinary humans, it will damage our cultivation and be very disadvantageous."

  "So you're saying you won't hurt me?"

  "Jin Cheng Wudao: 'How could we possibly harm you? If we had known you were just an ordinary person, we wouldn't have come to disturb you.'"

  I sneak a peek at Little Qian, those two are old-fashioned demons, what they say should be reliable, this sister is a ghost, with one jump into the well she can play Sadako, does she have any hobbies other than liking to appear on TV and sucking people's yang energy?

  Old Wu smiled and said: "Little Qian doesn't need to worry, although she is a ghost, the path she cultivates is an orthodox one. If she were an evil spirit from outside, I would have eliminated her last night."

  Xiao Qian said with gratitude: "Thank you, senior."

  Lao Wu said to Jin Chengwu: "Brother Jin, then we'll stay?"

  Jin Chengwu waved his hand and said, "Let's not bother with the brother business. Since we're on human territory, let's follow their rules. Old Wu, you look the oldest, so I'll call you 'ge' from now on. And Xiaoxian, no more of that 'senior' stuff, just call me 'ge' too." As he spoke, Jin Chengwu touched his face and said with some satisfaction, "Besides, I don't look that old anyway."

  Xiao Qian called out timidly: "Brother Jin."

  "Good sister."

  I was furious on one side and shouted: "You live here, did I agree?" It turns out that as the owner of this store, I am just a decoration in their eyes, and even the Hong Kong and Taiwan accents have come up.

  The three of them looked at me together: "You don't agree?"

  "Hmm... I'll give you a 20% discount for today's 100 yuan, you guys seem pretty good..."

  Before I could finish speaking, the three of them chimed in unison: "You said 80 a day!"

  "Is it fun for you guys to be so petty?"

  ……

  I now understand why they were confused when I mentioned money to them at first. They thought I was a great master who had gone through the heavenly tribulation, with an unknown purpose playing in the mortal world, and for people like us, money is naturally just a fleeting cloud.

  Gao Xiaowei rushed down from upstairs and shouted loudly: "Long Yangyang I'm hungry, when are we having dinner?"

  Jin Chengwu also said: "I've walked all day and I'm hungry too."

  I pointed at the instant noodles piled up like a mountain in the small dining room and said: "All I have is instant noodles."

  "Quickly go and make me one."

  "I shouted: 'You don't have legs yourself!' I didn't run away, first because I couldn't run fast, second because of her, now surrounded by a group of monsters, my anger is not focused!"

  Xiao Qian said softly: "I'll go." She floated towards that pile of noodles.

  I was speechless, this girl really didn't have feet...

  "Sister, I'll handle it myself." Gao Xiaowei glared at me and ran up to help Xiao Qian.

  "Is there braised beef?"

  I looked at Old Wu who stayed in his place, he raised the cup in his hand and smiled at me: "I'll just drink water."

  Finally, my noodles were still helped by Xiao Qian. I originally wanted to hide far away, but Gao Xiaowei pulled Xiao Qian and didn't let go. While waiting for the noodles to be ready, she said: "Right, sister, you said you ran up the mountain in the end, and then what?"

  "I said irritably, 'Then you'll come to me, won't you? Don't ask, just eat yours.' I had no choice but to sit with them at the same table."

  Gao Xiaowei ignored me and asked: "What mountain is that?"

  Xiao Qian pointed outside the door: "That one."

  Across from the train station is our highest hill, Kui Zi Shan. I think Xiao Qian has been hiding in the mountains all these years, so she wouldn't even know how to use a house card. When instant noodles are cooked, the water dispenser is also learned from Gao Xiao Wei.

  Jin Chengwu sat down beside me and asked with a smile: "Is this your sister? She's quite pretty."

  Gao Xiaowei gave him a glance, but apparently Jin Chengwu's type of handsome was still too old for her. Gao Xiaowei perfunctorily said to him: "You look quite like Andy Lau."

  Jin Chengwu waved his hand and said, "No, Andy Lau is getting more and more like Ma Sanli. They say I look more like Wu Zun."

  "Unexpectedly, Gao Xiaowei said: 'You also like Fahrenheit 831?'"

  I mustered up the courage to secretly poke Jin Chengwu's waist and said in a low tone with an underlying threat, "Stay away from my sister!"

  Jin Chengwu smiled and said to Gao Xiaowei: "Your brother is quite fond of you."

  Gao Xiao Wei rolled her eyes and said: "He's not even a real relative, his mom is his mom and my mom is my mom. His dad may also be my dad but I actually have another dad."

  Jin Cheng Wu snapped his fingers and calculated for half a day, finally patting my shoulder: "I thought my family background was complicated enough, but you're even more formidable than me!"

  Division line

  The votes are very powerful, and a few more would be even better. Take a closer look, Liu Dehua really looks more and more like Ma Sanli.