Chapter 6: Digging a Toilet

  This conversation with Zhang Hentu gave me two inspirations.

  I should have thought of the Splitting Mountain technique a long time ago. As the Sword God, I've had this title for quite some time, but I never really understood what it meant. Every day was just a blur, and I didn't even know the purpose of my sword energy. Lately, its biggest use has been to bully Duan Tianya. This is related to one's way of thinking - although I possess such powerful sword energy, I don't know how to use it flexibly. Some people can use a hair dryer to blow away a bundle of cash or use nail polish remover to clean transparent tape. My brain is dead - if not for the inspiration from that insect, I really wouldn't have thought of Splitting Mountain.

  Secondly, I really don't know how to explain it to Zhang Hentu, this has something to do with the limit of a person's ability to accept things. She doesn't believe me and I don't blame her, just like she said, she would only believe my mom.

  She won't let him lead the troops, for example, if a friend next to you tells you that he is Sun Xiang, you can take it as a joke, but if he really buys a train ticket to Xi'an and carries an axe to perform "splitting Mount Hua" in front of you, it's not funny at all. If the relationship is good, we still have to take him to the hospital for a brain check, because this has already violated people's common sense.

  Zhang Huhu is now roughly in this mood, so she is extremely annoyed that her subordinates do not know the weight of things and delay her time at this busy moment.

  Seeing her insist on leaving, I jumped in front of her and said: "What's wrong with trying? Don't forget that I'm from a prestigious background."

  "What did you say?" Zhang hurriedly asked with a puzzled expression.

  "You don't even know about the legend of the Sword God? Isn't that Black Whatever Mountain the one I split open?"

  Zhang Heng Hu smiled and said: "You also said that the legendary sword god is someone I admire very much, but how reliable are those legendary things?"

  It turns out that Zhang Heng was still an atheist.

  "I blocked her way and said, 'Even if I'm bragging, satisfy my craving for bragging just once - one hour! Give me an hour to rest, which is half a watch, and if it doesn't work out, you can break through again, I won't stop you.'"

  Zhang Hengyu impatiently said, "Now another half an hour has passed, and in a short while it will be the time Generalissimo and we agreed upon. If I still don't take action, that would be disobeying military orders. Besides——" Zhang Hengyu displeasedly said, "Do you want me to put the lives of all the sisters at risk just to listen to your boasting?"

  "You're not listening to me, which is putting the lives of your sisters at risk. If I fail, you'll only be delayed in descending the mountain by a few minutes, but what's more important, following military orders or the lives of your sisters?"

  Zhang Hengyu simply waved his hand vigorously, and I patiently advised: "General Zhang, leading troops is your expertise, but can you diagnose illnesses? Can you make tofu? For things you don't understand, shouldn't you show some respect? You're not a sword god, are you?"

  Zhang Heng said: "I am now a swordsman, and I'm still far from being a sword god."

  "I say: 'You see, you're not Sword God, so you don't have the right to speak, but I am Sword God!'"

  Zhang Heng said: "But I haven't seen Su Jian able to split the mountain either!"

  "This... I can only say that even a Sword God has their own strengths and weaknesses."

  Zhang Hentu smiled slyly at me and said: "What kind of person are you who can't even protect yourself?"

  "Uh, anyway, I'll tell you for the last time, if you insist on forcing your way through, you might regret it for the rest of your life."

  "Have you ever split mountains before?" Zhang Hun asked subconsciously.

  I suddenly said, "Don't mention it, I really did split it!" She said that and I thought of the Eagle Mountain opposite the hotel. When Tianya Duan and I practiced sword fighting, I had once split the top of Eagle Mountain, but to be honest, its elevation was only a few hundred meters, and it was more than ten times smaller than the mountain we were on now...

  Zhang hurriedly scratched his head and said: "I really don't know whether I should believe you or not?"

  I took advantage of the situation and said: "You're afraid that General will blame you afterwards, I'll go talk to him for you."

  Zhang Hengyu waved his hand and said: "Don't mention punishment, if you can let the sisters escape safely, I'll let you cut off my head!"

  "How about it? Did you agree?"

  "Alright, grandfather, I'll trust you this once, but you only have the time it takes for one stick of incense to burn."

  "It's a bit short."

  Zhang Heng said: "This is already the maximum limit, half an hour later General's troops will launch an attack, if we don't go down to meet her, she will become a lone army fighting alone."

  I thought for a moment and then said firmly: "Good!"

  Zhang Heng said: "What do you need me to cooperate with?"

  "I said: 'You try to gather your people towards the north. I want to make the south peak into a slope, it needs a lot of empty space.'"

  Zhang Heng looked down at the unfathomable mountain below and sighed, "Grandfather's, I'm regretting trusting you now." But she had already given the order, and the entire army moved north towards the peak, thinking that they would soon launch an attack on Hei Jisi. At this critical moment, there was a mix of anxiety and eagerness to try.

  The soldiers packed up their tents, vacating a large area where I had originally planned to rest for a while. Having almost not slept or rested in the past few days as I rushed to the border, and having just undergone a long flight, time waits for no man. Fortunately, I didn't feel particularly tired, so I stood up and patted my legs to warm up.

  Zhang Hentu asked me: "What else do we need to do now?"

  "Just wait."

  "What about you?" Zhang asked hurriedly.

  I didn't bother to reason with her, and started jogging in place, occasionally waving my two arms in front of my chest. Zhang Hentu was shocked and said: "Isn't it a bit late for you to start exercising now?"

  I don't talk, still get angry.

  But the sword energy isn't something that can be summoned at will. No matter how long I prepared in advance, it didn't matter before, but today is different, and I don't know if it's because of anxiety or the excessive consumption earlier. After a while, there was no sign of the sword energy circulating through my dantian, so I started running around the empty space in circles...

  Zhang Hen crouched beside him, looking at me. The deputy general next to him whispered: "General, is this really okay..."

  Zhang Heng rubbed his face gloomily and said: "He's crazy, I'm also crazy, I don't know which string is missing, but I actually believed him..."

  After another half day, I was already running out of breath and sweating profusely. Zhang Hentu looked more and more depressed, so she simply sat down on the ground with a thud, muttering to herself with a grass stem in her mouth: "Grandfather's... if General knows about this absurd thing, she'll really chop my head off..." Her deputy reminded her: "By the time, General is almost at the foot of the mountain now..."

  "Has the time of one incense stick arrived..."

  "Already arrived..."

  Zhang Heng Hu suddenly stood up and beckoned me: "Long Jian Shen, you'd better take back your divine power..."

  But at this point it was basically a case of in for a penny, in for a pound. I panted as I ran: "Just wait a bit longer..."

  "In a moment, you few will be responsible for getting him up...", Zhang Hentu casually instructed the guards and turned around to leave, shouting loudly: "Pass on the order, the vanguard troops will advance towards North Peak, the whole army will follow..."

  "Right!" Deputy Commander Zhang hurriedly threw me to the side and went to command the breakout. The vast empty space was left with only me and a few guards, who saw that I was still stubbornly circling around. One of them kindly said: "Sword God, let's go too, if we're late, we won't be able to catch up with the horse."

  "They still wanted me to take the middle road... I held back a breath in my heart and waved my hand: 'You go first...'"

  "That's not possible, disobeying military orders is punishable by beheading..." She exchanged a sly glance with her companions, who all nodded and smiled mischievously as they dispersed, slowly surrounding me. They knew I didn't know any martial arts, and it seemed like they wanted to subdue me and take me down the mountain by force. With this great opportunity to "move" against the Sword God, they naturally wouldn't let me off easily.

  At that moment, the female soldier jumped in front of me and reached out to grab me. I hastily dodged to the side, and immediately two more people filled in beside her. In my panic, I hurriedly flashed to the left, and just as I did, a sudden wave of heat surged up from my lower abdomen. I was overjoyed, but at that moment, several female soldiers had already surrounded me, and it seemed like I was about to be captured. My two hands flipped downwards, and my body slowly rose into mid-air. The several female soldiers were instantly petrified...

  The second time I flew, I finally had some experience, my hands and feet coordinated to stabilize at a high altitude. Looking up, the Flying Phoenix Army led by Zhang Hengyu had already arrived at the North Peak Pass. The camp of the Black Armor Army on the opposite side was brightly lit with lanterns, and a fire dragon composed of torches slowly moved, apparently deploying troops for battle. A great war was about to break out!

  I understand that even if I were to fly right in front of Zhang Hentu, it wouldn't be able to stop her actions. The top priority is still to try and open up a rear route in the south first. At this moment, I'm floating directly above the southern peak of Junzi Mountain. To the north of the southern peak is Zhang Hentu's Flying Phoenix Army, while to the south is a vast expanse of empty space after the army withdrew. According to my plan, I need to carve out an angle on the southern cliff for the troops to descend from, but the difficulty is not worth mentioning. Junzi Mountain has an elevation of 2000 meters, and its highest southern peak is even higher by several hundred meters. I don't know how strong the sword energy needs to be, but if a missile costs one yuan each, it would probably take tens of thousands of yuan...

  And the angle is also a problem, I roughly thought about it, and the best angle for people to walk should be around 160 degrees with the ground. But this involves a problem of too long an incline. Currently, the south peak and the ground are almost at a 90-degree vertical angle, which can be considered as a standing rectangle. To think that cutting out a 160-degree angle is impossible, just like a chopstick cannot do it when asked to keep its top end intact. For now, the only solution is to cut out steps one by one, even if the sword energy is strong enough, this is also a brain-twister!

  I glanced at the mountain top, mentally calculating how to make a move. After I unleashed my sword energy, not only did I lose control of its intensity, but also its accuracy. I opened and closed my eyes several times, raised my palm to gesture a few times, took a deep breath, and then suddenly slapped out with my palm. A crescent-shaped sword energy radiated outward, carrying a faint glow. The mountain top opposite me let out a deafening crash, and the southern half of the mountain was severed by my single slap! The monstrous beasts of the Desolate Wilderness fell heavily to the ground!

  I'm still basically satisfied with this palm, especially the accuracy of the original several female soldiers standing in place was barely chopped down by me, the urgent sword energy almost rubbed against the nose of the female soldier on the edge, she was scared to lose her composure and couldn't speak.

  I nodded secretly, and then flew to the sky above the Flying Phoenix Army's great flag. Zhang Hengyu was commanding the vanguard troops holding shields to clear a path on the small road ahead. From my angle, I could clearly see that they were less than 100 meters away from the nearest enemy! On this narrow mountain path, both armies' formations were long lines, except that the Black Armor Army had gathered into clusters in relatively wider areas. Between two mountain peaks, the Black Armor Army's troops were densely packed, while the Flying Phoenix Army's advancing arrowhead was like a thin stream... and here was a scorching hot flame! Who knows how many thin streams it would take to extinguish this flame of people?

  At this time, the sky was pitch black. I was suspended in mid-air and yet nobody noticed me. I lowered my head and shouted: "Hey..."

  The people below finally looked up and vaguely saw a figure. They were all shocked, and I expressionlessly said: "Follow me..."

  Zhang Heng was taken aback for a moment before bursting into laughter: "So you really can fly after all..."

  At this time, the several female guards rushed to Zhang Hentu's front, regardless of everything, and it is unknown whether they should use loss of soul or excitement to describe their expressions at this time. Several people pounced on Zhang Hentu, baring their teeth and brandishing their claws, shouting loudly: "General, it's all over... the mountain... has collapsed..."

  "What nonsense are you talking about? What's this 'the mountain has fallen' business?"

  Those female soldiers pointed at me together, speaking incoherently: "The cliff to the south has been split open by a god!" Zhang Hentu hadn't said anything yet when the entire earth suddenly started shaking violently for no reason. It turned out that the boulder I had split off was rolling down and only now landed, causing strong tremors that made the ground shake nonstop, with continuous rumbling sounds coming from other rocks on the mountain being dislodged.

  Zhang Heng's face suddenly turned pale, and he grabbed a female soldier's collar, saying: "He really split the mountain open..."

  The female soldier also didn't know whether she was afraid or excited, and tears streamed down her face as she said: "Really...?"

  "Damn it..." Zhang Hengyu let her go and cursed a foul word in his native dialect.

  I waved my hand coolly in the sky again: "Follow me..."

  50,000 Flying Phoenix Troops were mostly unaware of what was happening, only feeling the ground shaking beneath their feet. They were waiting for Zhang Hentu's order to launch a charge against North Peak. Zhang Hentu waved his hand and shouted: "What are you still dazing about? Follow that guy in the sky..."

  When they understood what had happened, they suddenly cheered and Zhang Hentao shouted loudly: "Be quiet! Be quiet!" The deputy general under Zhang Hentao's command whispered: "General, if we can get down from the south peak, it seems that they can also..."

  Zhang Hun hurriedly hesitated for a moment, then said: "Let's not worry about that now, let's go down first and talk later."

  "She descended from the sky with a punch of 'Dragon Sword God', Old Zhang has surrendered to you..."

  "What did you say?" I asked loudly.

  "Alright, alright... I admit defeat..."

  "Ah, got it......" I shouted at the top of my lungs. Not that I loved hearing good things, but the wind was too strong in the sky and I couldn't hear clearly, and I didn't dare to come down casually either... To be honest, I still don't know how this is going to go from here...

  Fifty thousand troops arrived at the top of Nanmian Mountain, and the previous cliff had been cut into a slope by me. The soldiers saw it again and cheered once more.

  I shouted in the sky: "Wait a minute before you go down, I'm not done yet..."

  Following the previous idea, there is still a lot of work to be done. Now only the top has been leveled by me, but it hasn't reached the bottom yet. I started with my palm and chopped down layer by layer on the original slope of the mountain body, just like cutting lines on the fish before exploding it. At first, I was worried that the sword energy would accidentally hurt people at the top of the mountain. As I chopped down further, I became more and more skilled, and every time my palm chopped out, a large flat layer appeared on the mountain, accompanied by dazzling sparks. Huge rocks fell continuously, and the foot of the mountain was blown away by stone dust within a radius of 2 li, making it impossible to see five fingers when stretching out one's hand...

  In the midst of my busy activity, I hadn't even noticed that my sword aura had become much stronger than before. I didn't have time to think about this issue either, as I was too engrossed in playing. At this moment, Mount Qiong was like a huge soft cake for me, allowing me to knead it at will. As someone who loved playing with plasticine since childhood, how could I not be overjoyed? However, later on, I became afraid to make another move. The originally intact Ostrich Peak had been shaved into a comb shape by me, and the mountain waist was gradually becoming thinner. Therefore, when I finally stopped shaving, I was extremely careful, fearing that the Flying Phoenix Army's flag would suddenly fall over like the small stick we used to insert when playing with sand as kids...

  This thing is complicated to say, but actually it's done quickly. After about ten minutes or so, I had already carved out a layered structure that was quite impressive. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and said to Zhang Hentu: "You guys try it out, if there's anything wrong with it, I'll fix it for you." What was strange was that after I finished saying this sentence, half a minute passed and not one person responded to me. The 50,000 Flying Phoenix Army stood silently in the night wind, Zhang Hentu leading them in stunned silence. I shouted loudly: "Hey, what are you guys thinking...?"

  Zhang Hun rushed back to his senses after a long time, contrary to his usual energetic and loud self, and said in a low voice: "Are you still human?", the soldiers under her command also looked up at me with eyes that were both joyful and fearful, these elite troops had been deeply shocked by me...

  Then the 50,000-strong army began to slowly descend the mountain. The newly cut stones were still scorching hot, and no one spoke a word, walking silently. I saw that the female soldier with big eyes at the front almost slipped down the mountain while jumping downwards, but quickly pointed her hand, and a step immediately appeared under her feet to steady her. The female soldier looked up in surprise, then smiled and said: "Thank you, Sword God..."

  I flew two circles above her head and waved my hand: "Tell the people behind you to wait a bit, I'll carve some stairs for you..."

  The female soldier said nothing.

  My ten fingers moved in unison, and the stone in front of the female soldier crackled with a hissing sound. After the wind blew away the stone powder, a section of stone steps appeared. It was only then that I realized my sword energy had been circulating smoothly without me noticing it. However, this phenomenon probably wouldn't last for long, just like how I didn't know when my sword energy would arrive.

  Here is the translation:

  So, I led the way in the sky, and everyone followed me down the mountain slowly. As we walked, I noticed Zhang Hentu's deputy whispering something into her ear, with a blush on her face. I asked hastily, "What's wrong?" But Zhang Hentu burst out laughing and punched his deputy in the chest, saying, "Grandpa, you're even learning to be shy now? In the past, weren't you always solving problems on the spot?" Zhang Hentu looked up at me and said, "She has an urgent need to pee, but is afraid of being rude to you if she solves it on the spot." As soon as he spoke, many female soldiers giggled. It seems they also had the same problem. Originally, women in this country didn't have much restraint, but now with me around, things became a bit special. The mountain was bare and exposed, and I was still flying in the sky. In the end, the girls were too embarrassed.

  I listened and thought for a moment, then punched a big hole in the mountain wall beside them with a casual punch, and chuckled: "Don't be polite, I dug a toilet for you."