Pitch black once again , my five senses were gone again , along with my ability to move

  ‘Damn it , it's actually a dream, can't believe i said those cringe worthy lines’ I thought to myself

  Realizing that all I could do now was produce thoughts.

  ‘I guess that's it , now will i go to heaven or hell’

  Considering the things that I had done throughout my lifetime, I was lowkey scared that I might end up in hell , if there is one to begin with .

  ‘Fuck I dont wanna get eaten up by the burning hellfires, or become dog food for cerberus , or any form of torture in general .If anything they should be punishing Piotr for having such a good looking face!’

  But now there are more pressing matters to be realized at hand . Why was I dreaming of my time in military service? Why the first day ? THe events that happened were different too , was it because I acted differently?

  ‘The dream itself was weird too , not only did i not enjoy my time in the military in the slightest , it felt too real for it to be one’

  I sighed in my mind , I wanted answers . But the helplessness I felt stuck in a body that can’t do jack shit when I'm full of curiosity but not being able to satisfy it , quickly turned into frustration as a result . A mental image of me venting my frustration was formed from it , as I wasn’t able to do it with my now immobile body . I was already disappointed when I lost the toned and muscular military body that I just regained after years of being a weak and fragile old man , but now I cant move, feel or see anything , at this point what’s the difference between me and a corpse! Oh how much I wanted to vent this frustration in me !

  My thoughts fell silent for a few seconds

  ‘Sigh…Anastasiya , I’d imagine you would find entertainment seeing me in this abnormal situation , would you not?’

  Regret and guilt flooded my mind , for I wasn’t able to save the love of my life on that fateful day .

  ‘If only … I wasn’t hellbent on wanting you to stay by my side , maybe you would have survived , ran faraway and perhaps created a family of your own .’

  Anastasiya wanted to volunteer and participate in the war even though she had zero military experience , and I should have persuaded her not to , but I didn't . That time , deep down , I was afraid , afraid that I would lose contact with Anastasiya after the war , or lose my life in battle . And then she would have to move on. I was stubborn and jealous when thoughts of Anastasiya together with another man other than me crossed my mind , and her death was the cost of my immaturity.

  For the first time , I was grateful that my body was useless , because no matter how sad and depressed I was , tears would never come out .

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  It has already been what felt like an eternity already , and yet I still am trapped in this immobile and nonfunctional state. I'm here all by myself , it feels uncanny to say the least.

  ‘This can’t be it , right? Is this what happens after people die? No heaven ? No hell? Uh wait , this is better than hell , can't complain but still this feels anti-climatic and boring’

  And after a while , I realized that my body might not be in a stationary state , but rather drifting along something like a vacuum of space , a void , but I couldn't say for sure if I was drifting or how I knew I was . Oh how I wished I could see! Oh god please hear my ple-?!

  ‘Huh?! I can feel my forearms,why are they on top of each other and what's squashing them? Wait, I can feel my head ,it's my head! Wait , am I sleeping?!’

  And suddenly, instead of the pitch black that I have been used to , I am now blinded by the lights, sunlight to be exact . Agitated by the sudden changes in surroundings , I squinted my eyes to leave some opening for light so my eyes could adapt to it . After a while I can fully open my eyes .

  If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  ‘I can see now! GOD IS GREAT!’

  That newfound excitement like a child who just got his first toy after months of being grounded by his parents for attempting a drawing of satan with crayons on the wall was cut short as I looked down to see a thick line of drool originating from my mouth down to my arms.

  ‘Was that a dream too , no before that i should clean this disgusting shit up’

  Luckily for me , I found a ply of tissue right beside me , though somehow it’s floating in midair . I looked properly and realized it’s a person handing me one , a very good looking person at that and to my surprise that person is..

  “Piotr?!What are you doing here?”

  “Sh-what are you talking about dude”

  I looked around and realized im at a different yet again familiar place

  “Dude, do you want the tissue or not? If not im taking it back and you gotta figure out how to handle that disgusting habit of yours on yo-”

  Before he could finish , I took it without hesitation and wiped the drool before someone else saw me in this disgusting state . The drool went all the way to the desk I was using as a platform to sleep on.

  “How did you manage to drool this much anyways , did you perhaps have a good dream?Perhaps,her?”

  ‘Her?What is he on about’

  Confused , i continued wiping

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  .

  Wait, a desk? I immediately concentrated all my vision to analyze the surroundings…lockers at the back against the wall , multiple desks and chairs , some with books on top of them and stationeries , bags everywhere . At that moment , I realized where I was , but I couldn't bring myself to believe it . After all, I had just been convinced that what happened previously was a final dream before I officially died , but it happened again but this time I am …no…I refuse to believe this.

  In Piotr’s point of view , I was standing still , a deep gaze staring into nothingness , and I lost my grip as the tissue that absorbed my saliva had now fallen onto the ground , my breathing getting heavier and heavier which had him questioning what was happening and for good reason. The stress and confusion I had accumulated up until now is beginning to show itself , beginning to crumble upon each other , but still I managed to barely keep my calm yet again , but I felt that the worst had yet to come .

  ‘What is this uneasiness i'm feeling , i couldn't get it off me since i woken up’

  My heart rate has risen again. Cold sweat appeared on my forehead as I put my left hand on my chest where my heart is positioned , seemingly to calm down . Just then , the sliding classroom doors slid open , and a girly voice , beautiful and familiar , yet illogical and unrealistic, traversed towards Piotr and my direction.

  “Guys , its recess already , how long do i have to wait , i'm starvinggg”

  “Just wait for Elrik , he is taking a long time, look at what he’s doing…Elrik?”

  “Elrik , what’s wrong, why are you …”

  ‘Unbelievable, this is madness , this can't be…’ I doubted myself

  But my actions contradicted my thoughts seeing that as tears overflow my face , with my own voice , i let out a single word that i never thought i would say ever again since that day

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  “...Anna?”