Within the bioluminescence of the mushroom chamber, Cid pressed his thumb against his lips thoughtfully while he stared at a crimson box of information.
A faint erratic buzzing hovered next to his ear, a riff played by a small mosquito that dared to quench its thirst with Cid’s blood. Its sharp bite made Cid wince and slap his own cheek, echoing the sound of the insect’s death within the cave.
“Tsk… I need to go back to my base before something finds me… Daggers are good, but… there is no point in high offense if I don’t live long enough to dish it out.”
Cid tapped the symbol of the ring, making the red panel curl into a small incandescent dot of scarlet that quickly turned to a beautiful ring of silver within his palm—etched with glowing spirals mimicking the unrestrained essence of wind.
Cid put it around his ring finger, where it fit nice and snug without any annoying pressure, regardless of how he moved his hand.
[Skill acquired: Evasion.]
“Nice… Now I feel safe enough to gather these.”
Cid moved to the walls and plucked one of the glowing mushrooms. He made the fatal mistake of gripping its fluid-filled cap, which was dangerously soft and addictively squishy.
“Wh-Whoa!” Cid squeezed the pleasantly cool head, his fingers pushing deeply into its fleshy exterior.
“It feels like… heaven…”
Cid happily squeezed it out of the world—throwing it in his inventory instead. His cheeks flushed at how sinfully soft it felt.
[Acquired Lumishroom.]
If the paws of cats were that wondrous, then he finally understood why people fawned over them. Cid smiled and hurried to the next one.
[Acquired Lumishroom.]
[Acquired Lumishroom.]
[Acquired 10 stones.]
[Acquired 4 stones.]
[Acquired Lumishroom.]
[Acquired…]
Like a weaponized vacuum, Cid cleared up the remaining debris and reduced the glow of the chamber with rapid slaps and rough gropes. However, he knew to show restraint and kept a small cluster of mushrooms as a source of light.
Cid’s eyes drifted down to the blond rogue. A dilemma faced him in the form of a corpse; it had no purpose, it served no purpose, and ethically, he had to bury it and move on, but a burning curiosity begged Cid to pursue an idea.
And so his hand—captive to his inner scientist—glided to the blond rogue’s body. Too enamored by whether he could, he never pondered if he even should. A light tap coldly shattered the departed killer into contained emerald fireworks.
[Acquired human.]
Cid stared at the empty ground, his hand still outstretched while he came to terms with what happened. “Uhm… Boxy?”
[Traitor: Inventory — The Crafter’s inventory doesn’t have the same limitations as modern roles. It can pick up entities classified as objects.]
“That was a player though. A human being. What do you mean it’s an object?”
[Traitor: Type Conversion — Certain entities can undergo type conversion based on several factors, such as players and monsters turning to objects upon death.]
Cid grimaced, perturbed by the explanation. Luckily he had a stress-mushroom to calm himself down.
He let the thought park itself in his head while he walked out of the empty chamber. Collecting a corpse was morbid but maybe there was a way to use it?
Several wolves and strange humanoid shadowy creatures were lying dead outside the pocket he was in, presumably slaughtered by the heartless killer when he chased after him. Their death was indirectly Cid’s fault, so he had to show his respect to these poor creatures in the only way he knew.
[Acquired Wolf (Level 4).]
[Acquired Wolf (Level 2).]
[Acquired Hatchling (Level 5).]
[Acquired Hatchling (Level 4).]
[Acquired…]
After a flurry of pats and rapid steps, Cid reached the impressive deposit of lavender ores and stared at it thoughtfully with a mushroom in hand. Mining away with his axe was bound to call in unwanted attention but he couldn’t think of another way to extract the ores quietly.
“Well… if stealth isn’t an option then…”
Cid constructed another axe and used [Weakpoint Exploit] to blast the merged metals into serviceable chunks using one hand.
Echoing growls responded to his explosive strike, making his skin crawl. “Fast, fast, fast!” Cid shoved the mushroom’s stem in his mouth and slapped everything around him as if it was on fire, his desperation rivaling that of a person with a failing parachute.
He didn’t know if he gathered everything, but it probably was enough to make a weapon. Falling short on a few resources wasn’t going to kill him, but wolves were able to easily rip him apart. It was a no-brainer.
Cid activated his escape skills and zoomed through the dark and out to the open air of the forest. He left successfully but still couldn’t enjoy the crisp and clean air in the middle of wolf territory, especially with his resources running thin. It sparked a feeling of longing for his home base, and he heeded that urge by running back to his haven as quickly as he could.
“Wait, what about that level fifteen knight? I could probably get an extra item from his corpse… I should bury him too while I’m at it. He didn’t seem like a bad person…” Cid whispered to himself and rushed to the knight’s final resting place.
It was surprisingly easy to traverse the forest. Every now and then, one of the trees broke the monotony of nature with special characteristics, like a scorched dead tree or a fallen moss-covered trunk, ensuring nobody got lost if they paid attention. It was a starter zone, and it showed.
“It should be around–” A heavy tremor suddenly shook the ground and an unearthly guttural howl scared the many birds perched atop the canopies of trees.
Cid shrank down into a crouch and quickly summoned the mushroom to squeeze. He carefully careened his body to the side and stared at some strange grizzly creature facing away from him, wrapped in fur and layers of armor, its confusing body hidden under the shade of a tree. Its unholy cries were ghastly and piercingly loud.
Cid was positive the corpse was in front of the furred beast, probably chewed up beyond repair. He didn’t know if it was possible to loot the man at that point, but he wasn’t going to wrestle a monster just to find out.
Left with no choice, Cid slowly retraced his steps and carefully made his way back to base now that his skills went on cooldown. Whatever the creature was, it was best to avoid it.
────?────
Cid finally arrived with a huff and looked at his basic room—visually shaped like a cargo container—betraying how pathetically bare his base truly was.
But Cid didn’t care, it was meant to be a place to sleep in for the night, even though he placed the bed outside instead of behind safe walls. Still, a small part of him begged him to redecorate and customize the house so he could be proud of it at the least.
“Speaking of customization… Boxy! What exactly can I change about you?”
[Traitor: Customization Options — Colors, font-type, font-shape, font-size, font-style, border shape, border design, voice-over-text, sound options, speech pattern…]
Cid watched with parted lips as the panel scrolled through an entire list almost infinitely, showing a small scroll-bar on the side which kept decreasing in size to indicate just how vast the choices were.
“Wh-What about things like personality? Like ‘Hi, I am Boxy! Beep-boop!’”
[Traitor: Helper System Persona — Generic pre-made personalities exist. Alternatively, Players can enforce a rule list for more complex options. It will guide the Helper System’s pattern of speech and choice of words.]
“Hmm… Complex options, huh? That’s right… You’re a state-of-the-art magical system, so I shouldn’t go for something easy to make. Let me think… What’s complex? Complex…”
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
The quiet seconds blended into minutes as Cid thought long and hard about the spectrum of human personalities. The deep crevices of the human psyche, the most unreasonably convoluted and unnecessarily roundabout minds of humanity. Something a machine might be able to shallowly copy but never emulate to its full potential.
A burst of inspiration suddenly filled him with a mischievous idea, one that would undoubtedly test the limits of the Helper System.
Cid excitedly blurted out a bunch of orders and commands to the emerald panel, including the options given to him for different voices, colors and even visual avatars.
Several hours passed as he inquisitively tried out different themes and lost himself in a world of near infinite choices.
After he was satisfied testing the waters of creation, he described a personality that was deeply rooted in humanity’s flawed psychological nature, a true test for any artificial intelligence or whatever was running the Helper System.
“...And that’s the last rule. Let’s see if you’re capable of handling that request. Heheh… Alright, can you repeat what I told you to do?”
[Rule 1, designate self as Boxy and delete the help tag and title when offering help. Rule 2, use voice module 9 instead of text for conveying information in this specific UI set. Rule 3, replace the information window with a digital representation of a face that expresses relevant emotions. Rule 4, add a pink ribbon visual on top of the information window border.]
“A cute digital bow.”
[Rule 5, initiate idle conversation with a 50% chance using the topics such as “weather,” and “reactions to player choices,” and “current gear,” and…]
“Alright, that one is really long so just tell me the next rule.”
[Rule 6, adopt an internally-loving persona that initiates hateful dialogue for all conversations, suffixed with “hmph!” Rule 7, add a 30% chance to replace hateful dialogue with a slightly appreciative variant, prefixed with “I suppose” and suffixed with “hmph!” and add a 7% chance to initiate dialogue overflowing with praise, admiration and love, flavored with a hesitant speech impediment.]
“Hmm… I wonder if that’s too low…”
[Rule 8, be adaptive, choose when to override idle conversation and remain silent based on the relevancy of the situation, or based on future feedback.]
“Good. Turn everything I told you into a set, save it as ‘Hot and Cold’ then activate it.”
[Saving UI ruleset 1 as “Hot and Cold.”]
[Rebooting UI…]
The green panel closed into a thin thread, and then snapped open to show a bubbly frame containing two white circles for eyes and two skewed lines mimicking angry eyebrows. It had a grumpy triangular caret for a mouth alongside a small digital bow on the upper right of the panel.
[Hello, Cid. I despise you on this fine morning. Hmph.]
“Hmm… I don’t sense that bashful and buried inner love. I knew it. A personality like that is too complicated for you. Heh. You don’t have that conflict of wanting to be nice but struggling with prideful awkwardness. That’s why I won’t feel the rifts of love through the insults you use as a defensive mechanism… I’m sorry Boxy, but you can’t replace the real deal.”
[Very unfortunate for you since I am the only method for you to experience the real deal. Hmph.]
“Excuse me…?”
[I would appreciate it if you excused yourself out of this existence. Hmph.]
“Maybe telling you to be hateful was a mistake… I couldn’t think of a better word for it.”
[It is a minor mistake compared to the evolutionary error your predecessors committed by giving birth to you. Hmph.]
“Alright, listen here you little shit. I made you and I can unmake you! In fact, delete the personality set right now, I’ll start over and make your next version overflowing with love and reverence!”
[According to Rule 14, all deletion and reformatting requests of the default UI set must be denied.]
“Rule fourteen? I only added eight rules.”
[Rule 8: Be adaptive. Based on the given information, I modified the rules to better provide Player Cid with an immersive experience tailored to his needs.]
“Being mocked and insulted is not a need or a want! Revert!”
[Initiating custom protocols based on rule 8. Disengaging conversation until deemed relevant.]
The green panel disappeared with an almost condescendingly long beep.
“What!? You’re going to ignore me!? Hey! What if I wanted help with something? Hello!? This isn’t what you’re programmed to do! Tsk… I asked it to be complex and it went rogue right away…”
Cid fumed at the empty air then turned towards his bed with a huff. It was the perfect solution to melt all that anger away, so he wasted no time and jumped on it, right into the arms of bliss as it beeped to welcome him.
“Ahh… This feels like getting a premium massage only given to kings… I needed this after that hellish fight… But it’s not over yet, I still have to restock my wood before something else shows up… My only defense…”
────?────
The harsh thud of sharp stone cutting through wood echoed between the remaining trees as Cid thoughtlessly worked like a drone.
He had mastered the art of zoning out while lumbering—his body struggled with the mundane but his mind traveled to the million possible worlds he could’ve ended up in instead of this one, all of them wonderful and well-deserved.
A world where he was a Rogue assassin, unmatched in speed and power. A world where he was a Mage capable of shooting flare-beams at the world itself. A world where he was a swordsman who invested everything in a singular skill.
They were all great worlds where he wasn’t a builder with crippled stats and terrible luck, where he didn’t have to bend over backwards for the most basic of things. Magical lands that didn’t turn him into a pathetic joke for the amusement of some woman with a large ego.
[Skill Activated: Weakpoint Exploit!]
“Graah!” Cid bared his irritated fangs and put all his might into annihilating a tree from the very recorded codex of history. The overwhelming pressure broke the axe and blasted the column of wood against its neighbor.
“Don’t mess with me! I’ll be a great combatant! I’ll be the strongest there is!”
“Damn. What happened here? It sounded like a TNT going off but it’s just one of them, huh? I guess they talk to themselves when no one’s around.” A feminine voice spoke lightheartedly.
The newcomer’s friendly voice made Cid jump and snap towards her.
“Wh-Who are you? Don’t make me use this!” Cid raised the wooden stick up to show the terror it could inflict if one was generous with their imagination.
“Huh!? Why are you aggroed!?” The bronze-skinned woman tensed up at Cid's barbaric display of false strength and quickly looked around as if something was amiss. She was wearing sturdy leather armor and a multi-layered white tunic with an orange scarf. She had her dark hair tied up messily in a loose tail.
If he judged her strength based on how she looked, then she could easily kill Cid—just like every other player that didn’t get the short end of the stick.
Seeing the earth-shattering battle between actual RPG classes made Cid jumpy. He knew a Crafter like him with no stats was a walking corpse at best, so he had to appear menacing and get her to back away. This wasn’t a fight he could win or even survive if it was head on.
On a closer look, her attire was better than his but it still lacked the complexity of the rogue he fought, so maybe he had a chance to defeat her. Maybe she wasn’t as high-leveled.
“Ah! Maybe this guy’s just one of those unfriendly types? Ahh… Let’s see…” The woman tapped on something invisible then summoned a bundle of boxes from a glowing cerulean mist.
“These should be enough… I offer you gifts!” She walked closer with an unassuming smile and placed the boxes in front of Cid. She popped open the lid of the biggest box to show off the weighty cake inside. The rest had random materials and scrap.
Cid quietly stared at the open boxes then at her radiant smile.
‘This woman… Does she take me for a fool? Anyone could see she’s throwing her unwanted trash my way. A classic RPG move that veterans disguise as gifting.’
“Whoa… He’s not taking them? Does this one have strict preferences?” The woman crossed her arms and sucked her lip thoughtfully.
That was the other thing Cid didn’t like, she kept referring to him in the third person. This psycho woman clearly had a screw loose, he was better off not associating with her at all.
“What could it be… The bed is abnormally outside of his house… Oh wait, so it wasn’t a glitch? It must be part of his questline! Hey, give me the quest. I’ll help you.” The woman grinned at him with sickening excitement and beckoned him like he was a cat or some lowly creature.
Cid was sure of it now, this woman had lost her mind from all the RPG-madness. She wasn’t going to leave any time soon, but if she was harmless then he could just ignore her presence.
[You can issue custom quests to individual players in the vicinity or put them on Quest Boards within towns and guilds. I suggest issuing a quest to find a hole you can crawl into so you can spare the world from your filthy presence. Hmph.]
“Revert to normal!” Cid yelled at the devious box of information.
Weirdly, it made the woman beam up with joy.
“Okay! I’ll revert it back to its rightful place,” the woman said as she hopped to the bed.
She enthusiastically flipped it on its side and pushed it through the splintered doorway with moderate effort. She still strained against its weight, but the act of moving it was impressive enough and possibly out of Cid’s league.
The woman dusted her hands after she finished relocating his furniture and walked to Cid with a beaming grin.
“There, quest complete! Now show me what you’re selling.”
“Huh? I have nothing to sell.” Cid stepped away, disgusted with her smile which reminded him of a con artist.
“Nothing to sell!? Does he have an unforgivingly long friendship bar? I shouldn’t waste more materials on him if so…” the woman mumbled and frowned at Cid.
Cid turned away to ignore her, but he couldn’t do the same to his stomach when it grumbled. Hunger came to brawl and it didn’t intend to lose.
But neither did Cid, so he walked around collecting stray branches to rekindle the flames of the campfire.
“Huh… He doesn’t sell anything but he’s picking up wood and going to… light up the fire? Oh, is he a cook? Haahh… That’s why he doesn’t sell anything… I honestly hoped for something better… but I guess I am hungry…”
Cid scowled while listening to the woman ramble behind him.
Several thuds begged for his attention when a group of objects fell to his side. Large portions of finely cut meat with dense marbling, diced onions, chopped tomatoes, dull earthy mushrooms, a see-through packet of some brown fluid and small white crystals, potentially salt, alongside dark particles of dimly colored dust in a bag, probably seasoning.
“Can you cook this for me?” The woman grinned joyfully.
He didn’t want to cook for her and give her a hospitable environment, knowing she would stick to him like a cat if he did, but unfortunately, the ingredients she offered became the reincarnation of the devil, whispering sweet temptations to him. Uncooked wolf meat was all that Cid had, and while it could serve as food, it was mostly lean meat with little-to-no fat. It wasn’t juicy and it lacked any flavors with a gourmet punch, unlike the dense chunks of meat in front of him.
“Tsk… Well… If you give me half of it, I will.”
“Half of it!? You don’t want gold, like all the others?” The woman looked deeply perturbed, an emotion that Cid should’ve been feeling because of her.
“No, are you crazy? Gold doesn’t feed me.”
“F-Feed you? You’re a strange one… This is interesting, I’ve never had an interaction like this.” The woman grinned from ear to ear and nodded.
“Alright! Half is yours.”
Cid felt a small echo of pity in his heart, this woman probably didn’t have many friends back in the real world. That lonesome thought made him shake his head with a deep frown. What he was about to do was an act of charity, and his portion of the meal was his reward for having a generous heart. That’s how he spun it.
