She limped onward toward the next post-town, arriving at an inn just as light completely failed. They ate and quickly retired to a communal sleeping room, and unlike the previous evening, she was soon asleep, sleeping soundly until she burst awake with a scream. From across the room, a jaded voice grumbled “quiet” and through the blur of her thoughts, she realised it was directed at her. At the feel of Tanaka’s hand on her shoulder, she dropped back to her mattress and slept through to early morning, when Tanaka shook her awake.

  Soon back out on the road, they had barely left the post-town when Asako started feeling pain from the soles of her feet to her hips. This early the road surface was cold, the paved sections particularly so. Still, she battled on, and after numerous stops, she made it through to midday. After some quick refreshments, they set out again, Asako keeping a hand on a woven strap that hung off Tanaka’s basket for guidance.

  “We need to get off the road,” Tanaka hissed, his sudden command breaking the hypnotic spell that her walking had become. There had been far less traffic on the road, but that was about to change.

  “Down, down, down,” came the chant from the leaders of a procession, their voices audible long before they’d marched into view.

  Tanaka escorted her up an incline, pushed her to her knees, and there they paused, just as a large caravan of heavily clad men marched around a bend. Samurai were at the lead, spears and flags held aloft, followed by others bearing loads on their backs. Next came a group who, between them, were carrying a lavishly ornamented palanquin. Bringing up the rear were more samurai. She raised her head just enough to keep half an eye on the procession, too exhausted to register fear.

  Tanaka only allowed her to rise after the entire entourage was out of sight.“War?” she asked.

  “War? No, not war. Same as the other day. It’s a daimyo procession. Off for a year in Edo.”

  “Edo?”

  “Your old home.”

  “The box?” she asked, puzzled by what item could have been inside the palanquin.

  “Box? The palanquin? What was in the palanquin? It was a daimyo. Do you know what that is? It’s a

  leader, like a chief. A powerful man.” “A man?”

  “Yes. Heading to Edo to pay respects to the shogun.”

  Kneeling in the grass, she pondered what kind of human could be worthy of such transportation. “Let’s take another break,” Tanaka mumbled, kneeling beside her and offering his flask.

  “Tanaka san, please tell, why me? Why you bring me here?” she asked. The question had been on her mind since they’d crossed Big Bridge, but only now, in her exhaustion, was it able to slip through her lips.

  “Why? Good question. You’ll one day discover the truth, so I might as well tell you now, as you deserve that much. It’s a sad story, that perhaps you can help me put right. You see, the market where I found you two days ago is not a place I enjoy passing through, as many years ago, fifteen to be exact, I was in that same place doing the same deed as your mother, selling my only child, a daughter. I’ve never seen her since, and wouldn’t recognise her now if I did, or she me.”

  Asako silently studied him.

  “She was five. Her mother had passed away two years earlier of a sickness, and for two years it was just me and Mae. I did everything I could to keep her alive and to keep her with me, but I failed. She was sick and lonely, on her way to an early death and I realised I needed to let her go.” He stopped and stared at the sky through a break in the tree line. “After my wife died, Mae was all I had. I was all she had, but it wasn’t enough. Not when you’ve so little money. I did the best thing for her, but I’ve never forgiven myself. I guess what I’m saying is: you’re my new Mae. A second chance.”

  “You’re from Edo?” Asako said, trying to put the story together.

  “No, I came from the north. Cold country. I came to Edo for work, which I found, labouring for a book printer. As luck would have it, I met my wife, my first wife, that is, in Edo too. She’d come from the west, snow country. We met in Edo but knew very few people. There was no one to call on when she got sick, and no support for Mae when her mother died. I worked all day and tried to care for Mae in the evenings. You can imagine how hard that would be. So I sold her to what I hoped was a better life, and eventually, I left Edo. I wandered, looking for work, and finally found my place in Koyama. The Lord’s wife, Lady Sato, who I work for, loves literature you see. Particularly the new releases, so ironically due to my knowledge and contacts in the Edo book printing industry, I have an employer who highly regards my limited set of skills. So, I’m in a better position, one might say, to support a family.”

  This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

  “Mae?” Asako repeated, never having heard the name before.

  “Yes. She looked nothing like you. No similarity except that in the end she too was small and sickly. You might think it strange that I missed her. Before I had a child, I never would have thought I’d feel that way. Heaven knows my own father never missed me, but there it is, that’s me. And please, you might hate me. I wouldn’t blame you, but understand, I’d never take you by force. Your mother needed to sell you, and I, for my own reasons, needed you. I hoped I could take a girl from that cursed market square, and give her a better future. It will work out, you’ll see.”

  “New wife, new daughter.”

  “Yes. New wife. Imai. She’s not officially my wife, but we’ve been permitted to live together. I will teach her to appreciate you, you’ll see. For now, we should go.”

  They recommenced, but at such a sluggish pace that they had no chance of reaching the next post- town before darkness fell. Nevertheless, they laboured on and, eventually, with Asako barely able to stand, let alone walk, the dancing flame of the next post-town’s stone lantern came into view. Tanaka located a cheap inn, and skipping dinner, led Asako directly to the sleeping quarters. Sliding the door across, he scanned and whispered a quiet curse when he found that the spots on both side walls were already taken. He lay her down, lay down behind her and they both quickly fell asleep.

  Being awoken by a nightmare was such a habitual occurrence that it took Asako a while to register what was taking place as she awoke in the darkened room later that evening. She felt uncomfortable as she blinked into the darkness, quickly realising that somebody was rubbing their hands under the folds of her yukata. She squirmed, instinctively recoiling, and was immediately shushed by a hand gripping her face. In panic, her hands flailed to the side, connecting with the cheek of the man sleeping on her other side. What happened next was hard for her to make out, and by the morning it had become a blur, but she sensed that Tanaka, awoken by her slap, had leapt from his mattress simultaneously ripping the hand off her face while yanking the offending hand out of her yukata. Then kneeling over her he’d cursed the person who had been touching her. The person quickly apologised and turned away. Tanaka then lay himself between the two, pulled Asako close into himself, and as though by will, fell straight back to sleep.

  There was no mention of the incident the following morning as Tanaka urged her to eat a helping of rice and pickles in the lamp-lit dining room. Once she’d consumed all she could, they departed, the warm food in her stomach briefly energising her as she battled forward in the darkness. However, rain had fallen during the night making each stone an obstacle, Asako tripping numerous times. They made their way until the Hour of the Snake, at which time Asako had a bad fall, losing her grip on Tanaka’s basket strap and tumbling sideways.

  Tanaka tried to soothe Asako’s distress. “Asako, listen, there’s a better way. Let me put you into the basket. We’ll arrive by nightfall if you let me carry you.”

  “No, not again.” She shook her head and leaned back against the trunk of a cedar. “Please, it would be for the best.”

  “No, leave me here, please.” She dropped her head and hugged her knees.

  “Never.”

  “Please, I’m tired. Too tired.”

  “No never. If you won’t let me carry you then you must endure. Endure your hardship and walk on.

  Walk until your feet bleed, until your knees buckle.”

  She raised her gaze to look him in the eye. Who was he, this man who hardly knew her, yet acted to

  protect her and talked as though her mother had inserted the words in his mouth?

  “Why?” she said, sliding down the tree to rest her backside on the damp ground.

  “Ours is not to ask why. We toil, we endure, in the hope that we will be reborn to a life of lesser

  hardship. That is all there is to it.”

  She released a puff of breath and let her head fall. It sounded backwards, but what if he was correct?

  She could endure, walk until she collapsed, if only to prove that she could endure. She pushed herself to her feet and stumbled to the middle of the road.

  “Asako, just wait a moment. I must relieve myself,” Tanaka said, stepping off the road and walking behind some foliage.

  Standing stationary, she shut her eyes out of weariness, and when she reopened them it was not Tanaka that she saw. She blinked, but the figure remained ahead of her on the road. It was some way off but still close enough that she could make out the spots on its hide, all the way from its rump to its neck. It was a deer, a young male, judging by the short antlers protruding from its head. She’d never seen a deer in the flesh but had spent her entire life surrounded by their hides. With her knife. Ever since she could remember she’d been tasked with cutting freshly tanned deer hides into squares and strips. “You were born with a knife in your hand” her papa had told her more than once. His praise echoed around her head as she stood transfixed. Then, arms extended, she began edging forward. Just a touch was all, to run her hands over that familiar texture. A stroke of its flank and she’d happily let it transport her to the afterlife. To papa.

  Tanaka emerged and gasped at the sight, then lowered his basket and silently edged up behind her. The deer seemed oblivious to them. They drew in close enough to see the animal’s underbelly expanding and contracting; to hear it drawing short breaths. Then, in a heartbeat it pricked its ears, swung its head and sprang off the path, disappearing into the undergrowth. Asako blinked and with the spell broken, collapsed into Tanaka’s waiting arms.