The Attisans welcomed us, as if we had returned from a great victory. I had no stomach for celebrations. The town had become a hotbed of intense debate about what the current situation in fact was. Were they in open revolt, and if so, against whom?

  I was repeatedly entreated to preside over hasty emergency meetings, but I responded only by asserting that the town council remained in control of temporal matters. My only advice was to double their drilling and arm even the poorer resident men properly on town coin.

  A small group of councillors granted me residence in a townhouse left vacant. Its owner had been Tamsi trader, who had wisely fled Attisa.

  The house was in a quaint part of the town and came with servants: a perplexed family of three. After a scribe expined, how the town would pay their wages, the parents and their nearly adult daughter were eager to get back to work.

  In the main bedroom, I dropped my sword belt on the table, kicked shoes off my aching feet and colpsed on the fresh linens of the bed. Immediately I was rooted in pce. My limbs were too heavy move.

  Sulme undressed into nothing but a long shirt and sat at the table to clean our equipment.

  "I shall not st long," I said. Sulme stopped and turned towards me, but I didn't look at him. I continued: "Already my soul feels alien. Today I used the name 'Umu' twice, and it was not false."

  "Well, your old name doesn't quite fit any more."

  "It is not that." I twisted like a beached whale to get on my back. "Perhaps She has been with me longer than I thought. I cannot even remember, why I hate the Tamsi. Only my hatred of the Prince has a reason."

  Sulme drew his mouth into a line and regarded me with his own tired worry. "You should rest. Cloudy thoughts are normal, after overextending one's soul, like you did today."

  Umu's nature wouldn't have been exhausted by a few meagre chants, but I didn't bother arguing. Better to be tired than deep in self-pity.

  The Nilkoan stood up and came to sit next to my feet. He looked at me as he might at a tragically sick child.

  "I can't see inside your mind," he said. "But I wouldn't say you have lost yourself. You are merely in a difficult situation."

  A dismissive snort escaped my mouth. Immediately I regretted the petunce.

  "You know, what might help you feel better?" Sulme said. "Picking a name for your true self."

  I lifted my feet on his p. "Do you have any suggestions?"

  Sulme took a foot into his hands and kneaded it in an unnecessary show of kindness. "How about the name from either of your grandmothers?"

  "Both of those are already given to my sisters. If you want me to have a name, how about something Nilkoish?"

  "Well..." Sulme remained silent, but I declined to interrupt him. Finally he said: "'Teissa' would be Nilkoish for a girl."

  I pursed a smile. "Or a young wife."

  "It wouldn't be exactly that. You see--"

  "'Teissa' is fine." My name scarcely mattered. If Sulme liked it, the name was good enough.

  The Nilkoan managed a lopsided smile and patted my shin. "I'll go help with the water. A bath will refresh your mind."

  The reasonably warm water leeched tension off my body. Sulme had left me to soak in the bathtub, while he made the st arrangements of the evening downstairs.

  "Why are you so glum?" Umu's voice asked, even though I wasn't concentrating on the deeper mirage.

  "Go away. I am rexing."

  "You should be gd. This day was a success. Attisa is almost as wealthy as the capital city Munni, and people here already eat from your palm."

  "I am beginning to think the Tamsi are right to detest possessed serpentists."

  A low chuckle filled my mind. "You would be correct. They are right to fear you."

  I spped the water and guffawed. "They do not fear me. If anything, I am more deserving of their pity for my weakness. Now leave. My body is not quite yours yet."

  The spirit's presence faded, but I was left with a sinking sensation in my stomach. The water could warm me no more. I stood up shivering, dried myself and hurried to between the bedsheets, just as Sulme returned.

  "I brought something to eat," he said.

  "Thank you, though I am not hungry."

  "I have a mug of beer too. Strong stuff from the harbour temple, apparently."

  "Alright, I will take that."

  While Sulme washed himself, I nursed the mug, which quickly turned out empty. The drink went straight into my head, just like the sight of the tall man washing every part of himself did.

  When the Nilkoan was almost ready, I turned my back towards him and pretended to be asleep.

  The bed shifted under a rge weight, and strong arms snaked to embrace me from behind.

  "You are so cold," Sulme whispered in my ear. "Do you want me to go get another bnket?"

  "No need. You are warm enough."

  His roaming touch was like fire without the bite. My heart thumped hard enough to make me sick.

  I turned around. The man smiled at me.

  "You consider me a girl, is it not so?"

  "Yeah. It would be hard not to." His fingers moved to explore my hair, sending little waves of joy through me.

  I bit my lower lip. "Can you imagine, what a girl might want to do in this situation?" I paused to gather my courage to continue. "Well, I cannot do that, but I would like to try... something simir."

  Sulme remained silent, but his hand moved to my posterior. A finger brushed down between my buttocks, and I shivered.

  "You mean here?" the man asked.

  "Yes... I made sure to be clean, though my changes have all but removed the need of that." I brushed his wide chest. "I think you would enjoy me."

  "Probably. But how about you? The only time I've se-- heard it done, the recipient didn't enjoy it at all."

  "Where?"

  Sulme's voice turned grave. "At Ousa."

  "Oh..." I brushed the thought off my mind. "We might not get another chance. Tomorrow I might--" I pced my fingers on the man's lips. "Don't say you would still love me regardless of my shape, because you cannot know, how your heart shifts. But if even a part of my mind remains intact, I would have one memory of you to cherish."

  Sulme sighed. "Teissa, I can't cim I'm not willing. But I wouldn't have any real idea of what to do."

  "Well, I want you inside me, so the goal is set for us. Go fetch that jug of oil to the nightstand. We need something to ease the entrance. After all, your manhood has girth, and I am as virginal as maidens go."

  The man hurried off the bed, with his state of rigid readiness in full dispy. He returned with the jug and y back down.

  "Now, stay still," I said and cmbered to sit on his thighs. I asked: "You are fine being below me? Not all men would."

  Sulme nodded and moved his hands on my hips.

  In front of me, his cock was a nce ready to conquer, eager to add the pleasuring of men to the purposes of my body. The intrusion would forever rob me of ritual purity as a proper virile male, yet I was eager. For me, it wouldn't be a loss of status. Not once had Sulme acted like I was lesser than him.

  The Nilkoan had already professed that he was mine. It was time to show I was willing to be his.

  I dipped the fingers of my left hand in the jug. The man twitched, as I spread the oil on his member. My own little wand --full but not particurly hard-- showed its need through quivering. I rose, moved my knees beside the man's torso and reached to position the cock between my buttocks.

  The wet cockhead touched the vulnerable entrance. I pressed down and flinched. Instead of letting the member slide into me, my body fought to retain its sanctity.

  I tried again. The pressure grew uncomfortable, without me making any headway.

  "We don't have to--"

  "Shut up," I snapped.

  On the next try I sted long enough to turn the discomfort into stretching burn.

  "Ow..." I colpsed on top of the man. The entry had no right to hurt so much. I could handle agony, but it should have come only after at least a little pleasure, if at all.

  Strong arms wrapped around me.

  "It's fine," Sulme murmured. "Do you want to stop?"

  "Of course not," I scoffed.

  "Maybe you need to rex before trying again." Sulme's hand moved to my buttock. "Let's try, if you can enjoy it at all, with a smaller appendage."

  "That might be wise."

  A finger touched my pucker. I shivered. Perhaps it would also hurt. Perhaps I had deluded myself to hope such an unnatural activity to be enjoyable.

  Sulme did deserve to enjoy himself for standing by me despite my whining and erratic actions. I had to steel my nerves and not show my discomfort, so I wouldn't ruin his mood.

  I wrapped my arms below Sulme's neck and pressed my face against his shoulder. His finger pushed an inch inside me. The intrusion caused no pain.

  "Go on," I muttered.

  Instead of pushing deeper, Sulme's finger circled against the rim. A pulse went through me. The Nilkoan must have noticed it against his abdomen, but he indicated nothing.

  Slowly, the finger spiralled deeper, until the whole thing was inside. I clung to to the rge man like to a part of a smashed ship in a storm.

  "Are you still enjoying this?" Sulme asked.

  "It is... nice. Though I almost wish your spear was no rger than this."

  Sulme chuckled. "Rex, Teissa. You are already much less uptight."

  I kept my disgruntlement in check.

  The man continued to explore my insides. Jolt went through me. The finger had touched a pce much more sensitive than rest of the inner walls.

  "S-stop," I muttered. "Do that again."

  "Do what?"

  "Press..." I breathed in deep to fight the wave of embarrassment. Certainly it wasn't proper for me to give guidance on how to prod my innards. "Press towards my crotch from the inside."

  "Like this?"

  After some trying, the man found the spot. He pushed hard, and I shuddered. The tension reached all the way through my groin. There it was: the pleasure I could experience from my man.

  "Pull out," I commanded.

  Sulme obeyed immediately. "Oh, sor--"

  "None of that. I merely want move on from half-measures."

  I rose and positioned my rear for another try. This time the cock wasn't barred entry. The stretching made me wince. Sulme grunted and twisted his face. It must have been a bit tight for him too.

  Instinctive desire guided my movements, as I nudged myself up and down. The pain faded to the back of my head.

  My weight defeated the resistance of my body and pulled me down. I gasped from the friction, from the brushing touch at the tender spot, from the pressure which was both uncomfortable and wonderful.

  I was firmly seated on my man's hips, him deep inside me. Traditionally, something like that would have made a girl into a woman. For a man it would have been a grave humiliation, the sign of his utter ck of manliness, the proof of his weakness and cravenness. Enough for the courts to brand him outw unless he killed his viotor.

  But I was already outside the ws of men and gods. The st thing I wanted to do was hurt Sulme.

  It mattered little: I wasn't a man in the first pce.

  My arm reached forward. The Nilkoan realised, what I was doing, even if I didn't, and csped my hand.

  Sulme had his usual warm and kind smile, even though his cock was pushed into my innards. The being filled to the prim was nauseating, and my mind spun from glee.

  I gathered my resolve and lifted myself a few inches to slide down again. There it was, the odd sensation of fring nerves in my lower abdomen. It was tantalisingly close to pleasure, yet had the quality of a mere throbbing echo.

  A half-frustrated moan escaped lips. I took more stable position and began to shift my hips.

  Even if the stabs into me stoked my lust, I wasn't able to climax. But I needed to come, before I lost my mind, before I grew bitter at our love.

  "Touch me..." I spoke under my breath.

  Sulme took my worm into his fist and kneaded it in a careful way one would caress something small, vulnerable and precious.

  I shuddered. My movements turned into mere humps. The tender touch from outside combined with the hard pressure inside. Small pleasure from my wand was enough to ignite the feeling of being fulfilled, like fire in the pan of a loaded gun.

  Across my thighs and abdomen, nerves scintilted in a welcome orgasm.

  Though the glow faded, I was left with satisfaction. Below me, Sulme's hard abdomen had a trickle of my slime.

  The man deserved a reward. He should remember his first time, especially when that time was with me. I lifted my hips almost enough for the rod slip out of me and smmed my butt down. The motion burned in my pucker, but I repeated it again and again.

  With each thrust, Sulme grunts were a delight.

  I lowered my hips to a sloppy wet sound. Liquid warmth filled me, and a strong spiritual outpouring of virility touched my soul.

  Grin spread my mouth, and I sat down. "Did you like it?"

  "Yeah..." Sulme's breath wavered, but his gaze was intense. Possessive.

  I yelped, as rge arms reached to grab me and pulled me against the man. The already softening cock flopped free from me. Warm seed poured out.

  Sulme's hug was strong, perhaps a bit too much so, but I didn't mind. The man lowered me to his side, and we moved until I could nestle against his powerful frame.

  However, I couldn't just fall asleep. The soreness crept across my rear, and both us were smeared by our sticky discharges.

  "I think we will have to wash ourselves again," I whispered. "And change the sheets."

  "Not yet." Sulme tightened his grip around me. "It'll take me a moment to gather my strength to let go of you."

  I smiled and closed my eyes. "Why did you never come to find me and cim me as your 'Teissa', before the Prince ruined me?"

  "I'm sorry."

  "Apologising for not doing an impossibility..." I sighed with amusement. "I do appreciate it. But let us enjoy the present, instead of stoking my bitterness about the past."

  Sulme said nothing, only moved his arms in an attempt to cim more of me.

  Tegeli