The spruce-covered hills slipped past us, as our boat glided over the shining kes. The terrain was a maze of isnds, twisting bays and long spits of nd. A perfect country to get lost in. We headed towards the general direction of the March of Isso, where the grip of the Tamsi held loosely. The Issoans were a stubborn people and hardy out of the necessity. The old ways were still the proper ones to them. Most importantly, they were ke-people with weapons, boats and simple grievances.

  I had done nothing but hold the steering oar during the day. Yet I was dead tired by the time we stopped and pulled the boat ashore to make camp.

  Sleep wouldn't cim me. The aches of my joints only intensified, until I gnashed my hurting teeth. Every muscle in my body cramped, and I let out a groan of gritted exasperation.

  Sulme cmbered up in the dark. "What's going on?"

  I wanted to tell him 'nothing', but instead of words, I only managed to push out tears.

  The shadowed figure of the Nilkoan examined me. "I'll mix something for the pain."

  To my humiliation, my hands shook too much to take the cup. Sulme had to help me drink the blend of herbs and burned wine. After a few cups, I was dizzy enough to pass out into blissful oblivion.

  I had never been prone to seasickness, especially on a tiny keboat. That morning I could do little else than hang over the side. Profusely I apologised to the water folk for the mess I kept making.

  At noon, my sickness abated, and I could eat breakfast. Most of the pain had faded, but the thought of having to go through another night of it made me shudder.

  Sulme kept staring at me with a look full of paternal concern.

  "What has caught your eye?" I failed to keep the irritation out of my voice.

  The Nilkoan shifted as if waking from some personal reverie. "Oh. I was just thinking. Why would your spirit hurt you so? That must be what st night was."

  I frowned. "Spirits often alter the physical shape of those they possess. It helps their essence to connect with that of their host."

  Sulme swallowed. "What are you turning into then?"

  "I have no idea. She does not answer me."

  The aches returned after sundown, and in the morning I was forced to examine my body. There were no drastic changes, though the sickliness made my body seem boyishly feeble. I dismissed it as an illusion, because Umu had no reason to make Her host any weaker than it already was.

  Through the days of travel, my body wasted away faster than if I had starved. In fact, the increasingly btant ck of firmness indicated that my diet remained more than serviceable. The direction of my transformation became impossible to ignore. My frame was slimmer, but not entirely due to loss of muscle. Several times a day I had to check my forehead often to see if I had a fever, which might expin the delirium.

  Too slowly to witness but too fast to slip notice, the limited cushion of my body moved to my lower half. Combined with the shifting bones, my hips had broadened to maidenly if modest width. Above them, instead of the slim but powerful torso, I now had a narrow waist, which appeared frail despite the faintly visible muscuture. To compliment my shapely frame, the thews of my sword-arm and shoulders melted like spring snow. The world grew heavier by the day.

  The feminine softness was most apparent on my chest. There I had lumps, which weren't the mere sign of abundant nutrition. The bosom was small, but remained irksomely tender, as a disquieting promise that they weren't done.

  Sulme kept his eyes away from me and stopped talking about anything reting to my body whatsoever. I suspected that he avoided touching me, but that was impossible to determine for sure onboard a small boat.

  All through the waking hours, I fought the frustration stemming from my inability to ignore the pain. Sulme's tenseness only annoyed me further. I had to open up --to let out of the smoke-- before I grew angry with him.

  "Sulme," I said in the husky womanly voice imposed on me. The man turned to look in my direction, and I continued: "We both understand, what is happening to me. You can stop acting like I was not myself."

  The Nilkoan's gaze fell. "I'm sorry. It's just that..." He paused. "Maybe we can figure out a ritual to stem the changes."

  I ughed. "My soul is a frayed mess. Any resistance will shred it into unsalvageable pieces."

  "But..."

  "It matters not. After all, these changes serve my disguise. Maybe Umu's aim lies in that."

  Sulme gnawed the nail of his thumb and gazed over the ke. "I understand the need for subterfuge. But these nds are sparsely inhabited and rustic. The people will assume... things, when they see a man and woman travelling together."

  "What will they assume? That I am your wife? If you wore something else than those rags, they almost might suspect something to that direction."

  "These 'rags' are practical. I haven't seen you do much to handle the boat in that frippery!" Sulme drew sharp breath and made a sign at the water to calm the spirits in the ke.

  Despite my rising ire, I mirrored his gesture to keep the currents favourable. One could never know what took offence to sudden excmations in the wilds.

  "Sorry," Sulme said. "I shouldn't have raised my voice. Not to the waters, and not to you. If you think the disguise necessary, then it is."

  I couldn't be sure that it was necessary, or even a good idea. After all, I was retively tall, and my shoulders remained wide. The attire of a peasant man would certainly have been the least conspicuous choice. Yet the thought of giving up my disguise was altogether loathsome. I shouldn't look like my life was about poking dirt.

  "It's Umu, isn't it? She won't let you stop your act."

  My whole body jerked into a snarl: "The spirit has no control over me! I am no histrionic making a fool of myself for your entertainment."

  Sulme lifted his hands. "I didn't mean to imply such!" He gave me a faint smile. "I'm sorry. I should help you, not be an annoyance."

  I winced. It was foolish to let the man's innocent concern get under my skin. In order to salvage the moment, I returned the smile and remained silent.

  On those unfamiliar waters, Sulme had to stop and consult the currents for guidance. While he concentrated on the deeper mirage, the waters around our boat y still. I took the opportunity to examine my face on the ke's mirror sheen.

  I could still recognise my face, even if my jaw was slighter and my nose dainty. Mine was by no means a noticeably girly countenance, but the visage could pass off as that of a mannish woman.

  Sulme was taking his time beseeching the spirits. I too decided to meditate, even though the only thing I would be able to see was the coils of my owner. A constant itching across my skin hampered my concentration, but soon enough I sunk into the deeper mirage.

  "We can work together," I spoke inside my mind. "Tell me, what you want from me."

  She did not answer. Perhaps She couldn't speak to me, or just deigned not to. Umu was turning me into a mockery of the womanly form, yet She did not even acknowledge me. I did my best to calm my anger by reminding myself that the situation was my fault alone.

  "Hey, Ryymi."

  I broke out of my thoughts. Sulme stared at me, worried like so often even before the failed arson.

  "Are you alright?" he asked.

  "Yes!" I snapped. My face warmed, and I cleared my sore throat. "What did you learn?"

  Sulme made an shamefaced grin. "That we have gone the wrong way the whole day. We'll have to circle the other way around."

  I sighed. "It is te. We might as well stop for the night."

  "That would be my suggestion. In the dark, these isnds resemble each other even more so."

  Though Sulme could withstand the mild chills of the spring, he too preferred warm food. I tended our campfire, while he went on an evening swim, which extended far enough from the shore to appear beyond merely reckless. For Sulme, however, it must have been rexing.

  After a while, Sulme walked out of the ke. Anyone would be gd to have a soldier like the Nilkoan as a trusted companion. He had the powerful shoulders, burly arms and the tree trunk thighs of a galley warrior, though his height made him rangy in overall appearance.

  The Nilkoan smiled at me and held up the two scrawny perches he had caught. "Something fresh to eat for a change."

  Still naked, Sulme sat on a smooth piece of driftwood next to the fire.

  I scooped up a handful of ash and stood up. "I will go wash myself."

  "Alright. I'll keep my eyes away from the ke."

  A scowl twisted my face. I didn't need privacy from him. But I kept my tongue. It was high time I stopped being so irritable.

  The water was uncomfortably cold, which worked well to discourage me from examining myself for long. My member lingered to mock my plight. To add to the insult, chill had shrunk it into a feeble nub. The utter ck of pubic hair made the limited size much more conspicuous. Umu must have kept the body hair from growing back, perhaps as means to keep my appearance youthful. For what purpose, I couldn't tell. My disguise didn't involve nudity.

  When I returned to the campfire, petty spite filled my heart. I too sat at the fire to dry myself. Sulme could stuff his privacy into Numma's maw. He had seen me naked before, and not once had he appeared uneasy about it. We were middle of a primordial forest. The only sign of other people were the distant pilrs of smoke from a burned patch of woods.

  "Is the fish ready?" I asked without looking at my friend.

  "Soon." Sulme stood up and pulled his trousers on. His movements were awkward enough to make me gnce at his direction.

  Right in front of my eyes, his manhood pushed out of the tight trousers. Sulme wrenched the garment in pce, but it didn't hide the bulge filling his codpiece.

  Against all reason, I found myself mortified. The forlorn shore didn't exactly have many reasons for such dispys of virility.

  Sulme sat, crossed his legs and leaned forward. "Was the water warm enough?"

  My tongue got caught in my mouth. I shouldn't have faulted Sulme. He was a healthy man in the strength of his youth, which came with certain needs with their natural uncontrolled consequences. I had no reason to be so disturbed. Yet my whole body shivered.

  "Take this." Sulme handed me a rge rag. "Dry yourself, while I get you a bnket from the boat."

  With quivering hands I did my best to comply.

  Sulme's return broke me out of my aimless frantic thoughts. He pced the thick bnket on my shoulders, and I wrapped it tightly around myself.

  The Nilkoan handed me a charred perch. "I'll boil your herb infusion to warm you up, so you won't catch the water's wrath."

  "I am not cold." I turned to face Sulme and waited him to look me in the eyes. "Why do you keep acting so strange?"

  The answer was obvious, but the man had to admit the root reason in order to correct his behaviour.

  "Strange?" Sulme gave me his usual faint smile, but his voice wasn't entirely firm. "How so?"

  "You know what I mean. Mollycoddling me, like you might a child."

  "I just don't want you to fall sick. This undertaking would fall to even smaller pieces, if you were to catch a persistent fever."

  "That is not all." I gred at him. "You also avoid seeing me, while I am undressed, as if I was too feeble to withstand your gaze."

  "I'm sorry." Sulme sighed and spped his thigh. "I should be able to control my instincts."

  "What do you mean?" I asked, despite the clear discomfort in the man's eyes.

  He tried to smirk like he had regained his composure. "Isn't it obvious? My eyes see the curves of a girl in you, and my spirit reacts accordingly."

  Forceful drumbeat filled my chest, sending my breath into a unstable quiver.

  Sulme must have thought me attractive, to an extent. Even though I was still male in the main way, which counted.

  In my mind fshed an image of those huge arms wrapped around me in gentle embrace. It wouldn't have to go any further than that. For a start at least.

  "Don't worry..." Sulme leaned back and chuckled. "There's no threat of me forgetting that you are a man."

  The cold air finally caught me, just as the campfire sputtered into cinder. What a fool I was.