Billy Jean had just stepped out of the bathroom, all changed and ready to roll.

  But those darn pants were playing tricks on her – the leg was so long it practically tripped her up.

  Next thing you know, she was flat on the floor.

  And wouldn't you believe it, her head, which was never the steadiest to begin with, went flying off like a wobbly bowling ball and came to a stop right at Michael Joke's feet.

  Michael Joke's eyes just about popped out of his head.

  His pupils were doing the jitterbug as he stared down at that noggin by his shoes.

  The head... it had gone AWOL from her shoulders.

  Then things got even weirder.

  Billy Jean's headless body decided it wasn't done yet and started getting up, blood spurting out like a busted fire hydrant from where her head used to be.

  It was like one of those headless chickens running around in a panic, only this time it was a full-on headless vampire on the loose.

  “Where the heck is my head?”

  Even though the sun was still up, that didn't stop the spook factor from going through the roof.

  This kind of scene would've sent most people running for the hills, screaming their lungs out.

  But Michael Joke?

  He was cooler than a cucumber.

  Well, mostly.

  He let out a couple of gasps that could've been mistaken for a hiccup, but other than that, he was holding it together.

  His whole body was as stiff as a board, though.

  It took him forever to slowly bend down, his hand inching towards that head like it might bite im.

  If you looked real close, you could see his fingers twitching.

  This whole thing was messing with his head big time.

  Michael Joke picked up Billy Jean's head.

  Her eyes were a bit cloudy, like she'd just woken up from a long nap.

  But the second she saw him, that numb look turned into a full-on pout.

  “Woo-hoo… Michael , this is all your fault for dressing me in these goofy clothes, I don't care,you gotta fix this.”

  “How?”

  Michael Joke asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Sew my head back on and then give me some blood to slurp up. Then we're square.”

  Billy Jean was already thinking ahead, like she had it all planned out.

  “That's it?”

  “Or what? You think you owe me more 'cause you feel bad?”

  Billy Jean was feeling pretty smug.

  Michael Joke let out a sigh and flicked Billy Jean's forehead.

  “Silly goose.”

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  The headless body reached up to rub its forehead, but of course, there was nothing there. It was like a bad comedy sketch.

  Michael Joke's sewing skills were nothing like Billy Jean's half-baked attempts with a couple of embroidery needles.

  He looked like a pro surgeon from a TV show, all masked up and gloved, threading that needle like it was second nature.

  The way he stitched her up was smooth as butter, leaving a teeny-tiny scar.

  Not like Billy Jean's handiwork that looked like a squiggly worm.

  Billy Jean touched the scar on her neck and grinned.

  After she got a few gulps of blood later, it'd be like it never happened.

  She eyeballed Michael Joke's wrist, her mouth practically watering.

  Michael Joke saw what she was up to and slowly peeled off his gloves, tugging his sleeves down to cover up.

  Billy Jean wasn't having it.

  “Hey, what gives? You promised me blood. You backing out now?”

  “I said blood. Didn't say it had to be mine, did I?”

  Billy Jean's eyes went wide.

  “You sly fox.”

  Michael Joke just shrugged it off like it was no biggie.

  Billy Jean knew she was beat and wished she'd been clearer.

  “Fine, you're all puffed up like a blow-fish. Let's go,you promised me a feast.”

  Michael Joke ruffled her hair, and she swatted his hand away like a pesky fly.

  “Humph…”

  She turned her head, giving him the cold shoulder.

  Michael Joke chuckled.

  “I promise the grub'll be better than anything you've tasted.”

  That got Billy Jean's attention,she whipped her head back around.

  “Really?”

  Michael Joke nodded.

  “Okay, I'll give you one more shot,but if you're yanking my chain, I'll chomp you up.”

  Billy Jean bared her teeth and wiggled her fingers like claws.

  It was supposed to be scary, but she just looked like a kitten trying to be tough.

  Michael Joke couldn't help but smile.

  “Shall we, Miss Jean?”

  “Lead the way, buster.”

  Billy Jean waved her hand like she was the queen of the castle.

  If you didn't notice her body moving like a rusty robot.

  Outside the hotel, Michael Joke pulled a military-grade vehicle out of his space ring like it was no big deal.

  This thing was like a tank on wheels, with bulletproof glass and a shell so tough it could probably stop a meteor.

  Michael Joke swung open the door and hollered at Billy Jean, who was shuffling along behind him like a grandma on a Sunday stroll,

  “Hop in, chop-chop.”

  As he spoke, five super-thin wires shot out from his fingertips like they were on a mission.

  In a flash, they zipped through the heads of five vampires who thought he'd make a good lunch.

  It was brutal, like something out of an action movie.

  Billy Jean's jaw dropped.

  She picked up the pace, but the more she panicked, the stiffer her legs got.

  She ended up looking like a crazy wind-up toy, lurching towards Michael Joke.

  And wouldn't you know it, a whole gang of vampires, seven or eight of them, popped up out of nowhere and joined the party, all going after Michael Joke.

  Billy Jean was right in the middle of it, getting pushed and shoved like a rag-doll.

  “Roar… Ouch, lady, watch where you're stepping. Who poked me in the gut? Dang it, your nails are like razors!"

  “Roar… Quit shoving. Calm down, y'all. Listen up,that guy's bad news,you don't wanna mess with him. Save yourselves!"

  Billy Jean tried to reason with them, but they weren't having it.

  “Roar… You're just trying to hog the food, aren't you?"

  A toothless old lady vampire snarled.

  “Roar… Yeah, you think you can keep it all to yourself? We'll see about that."

  A fat vampire in a chef's uniform chimed in.

  The whole mob, with Billy Jean stuck in the middle, kept charging at Michael Joke.

  They were like a bunch of hungry hyenas, roaring and snapping at the air.

  Michael Joke saw Billy Jean was about to get squashed like a bug.

  His eyes went dark and cold.

  He reached out again, and those five wires sprang back to life.

  Suddenly, Billy Jean felt like she was in a freeze-frame.

  The vampires around her stopped dead in their tracks.

  If she squinted, she could see that each one had a wire sticking out of its head like a demented unicorn horn.

  “Boom… Boom…”

  They dropped like flies.

  In the end, it was just Billy Jean left standing there, looking around like she'd just witnessed a miracle.

  Damn! Holy cow!

  Michael Joke is a freaking superhero.

  Just then, Billy Jean felt something wrap around her waist.

  One of those wires had snaked around her and yanked her out of the vampire pile-up.

  “Aah…”

  Something warm and firm held her tight.

  “Okay, knock it off with the screaming.”

  A deep voice cut through the chaos.

  Billy Jean clamped her mouth shut, her eyes as big as saucers.

  Michael Joke saw more vampires coming and didn't waste a second.

  He tossed Billy Jean into the passenger seat like she was a sack of potatoes and hopped into the driver's seat.

  He stomped on the gas, and the vampires in front of them scattered like bowling pins.

  Billy Jean in the passenger seat swallowed hard.

  Goodbye, suckers.

  Thirty minutes later, Michael Joke screeched to a halt in front of a massive shopping mall.

  It was like a vampire magnet – they came swarming from all directions, pounding on the car and leaving bloody smears all over the glass.

  “You said you'd take me out for a big meal. You don't expect me to chow down on them, do you?”

  Billy Jean pointed at the vampires outside, looking like she might puke.

  “No, your dinner's waiting inside the mall.”

  Michael Joke looked at the mall, a cold smirk on his face.

  His eyes glinted with something that sent a shiver down Billy Jean's spine.