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16.Dumb Clucks with a Death Wish

  Billy Jean hoofed it up to the clothing floor.

  She was still decked out in Michael Joke's duds, looking like a kid who'd raided her parents' closet.

  Even though she was a vampire now, she still gave a hoot about her looks.

  This floor was a total mess, like a tornado had torn through it.

  Clothes and junk were strewn every which way, and dried blood was splattered all over.

  Compared to the supermarket, which had been picked clean, this place was in better shape.

  After all, when the world went to pot, food was the real gold.

  Jewels and fancy outfits had become dead weight.

  Survivors usually made a beeline for the mall's supermarket to stock up on grub.

  Nobody in their right mind would come to this floor for these cumbersome clothes.

  Fortunately, since Billy Jean was a vampire, she didn't have a care in the world.

  She could rummage through and try on clothes to her heart's content until she was happy as a clam.

  Billy Jean started to dig shopping in the apocalypse, ambling from one counter to the next.

  She'd pick up a garment, hold it up against herself.

  When she found something she liked, she'd scoot into the fitting room to give it a whirl.

  If it fit the bill, she'd stuff it in a bag.

  If not, she'd chuck it.

  In about ten minutes, Billy Jean had amassed a big bag of clothes she was nuts about.

  She was feeling on top of the world today.

  It'd been ages since she'd worn a dress.

  This one was a Frenchy, elegant number.

  The long sleeves and floor-length skirt did a bang-up job of covering her rotting bits.

  Even though she wasn't a towering beauty, she had a killer figure.

  The waist-cinching design hugged her slender waist that you could almost wrap your hand around.

  Just standing there, she had a certain something that caught the eye.

  Back in the day, she'd stood out among a bevy of beauties and snagged the title of East University's campus belle for four years running.

  She had a pair of bewitching eyes with naturally rosy corners, and her pupils were bright as buttons.

  Her nose was straight and dainty.

  Her red lips were the perfect thickness, with a gorgeous shape.

  When she smiled, her lips curved, showing off a perfect row of pearly whites.

  Her skin was fair, flawless, and glowed with youth.

  The school had even used her photo in recruitment brochures as a selling point.

  Alas!

  Let bygones be bygones.

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  Billy Jean sighed as she checked herself out in the mirror.

  Her cloudy eyes, deathly pale complexion, and dull red lips were a far cry from her former elegance.

  “Boom… Boom…”

  The sound of bodies hitting the floor one after another rang out.

  The vampires milling around all made a beeline for the stairway.

  Obviously, someone was coming.

  Billy Jean thought it was Michael Joke, but instead, she heard strangers' voices.

  “Baby, stay behind me. I'll take care of these gross vampires first. Then you can grab any of these designer duds you want.”

  A man's voice cut through the air.

  “Okay, be careful.”

  A delicate voice chimed in.

  Then came the sound of a scuffle.

  Billy Jean had to give this guy props.

  Even in the apocalypse, he still remembered to bring a gal here for a bit of…

  Well, romance.

  She just wasn't sure if he had the chops.

  Out of curiosity, Billy Jean moseyed over to the fight.

  From a distance, she saw a young buck hacking at vampires with an ice sword in one hand and flinging ice blades at the ones lunging from afar with the other.

  No wonder he dared to bring a dame here for these useless things.

  He was an ice-attribute superpower.

  Sure enough, except for mutants, regular vampires were no match for superpowers.

  There weren't many vampires on this floor, about a dozen or so.

  In a flash, the man had cleared them out.

  Billy Jean didn't want to get mixed up in it.

  She was about to hightail it and hide when the man spotted her and whipped an ice blade her way.

  She ducked into the shop next to her.

  She had an immortal body, so she didn't really need to hide, but she didn't want her newly fixed-up body to get all scarred up again.

  Besides, she was in a good mood today and had finally slipped into a dress she liked.

  She didn't want to get it splattered with blood.

  Hearing the footsteps outside the shop getting closer, Billy Jean snatched a fisherman's hat from inside and slapped it on her head.

  The wide brim hid most of her face, leaving only her small chin and lips peeking out.

  Brian barged into the shop, ready to hurl an ice blade at the vampire, but he screeched to a halt.

  There was no vampire, just a woman.

  She was standing with her back to him, holding up clothes in front of the mirror.

  Even though he couldn't see her face, he could tell she had a dynamite figure.

  Especially that waist that looked like you could wrap your hand around it.

  Brian's fingers twitched.

  He actually had the urge to go up and sling his arm around her.

  “Brian, are you done?”

  Donna stepped into the shop.

  She didn't expect to see another woman besides Brian.

  Seeing Brian gawking, a look of disgust flashed across her face.

  This Brian was a real horn dog.

  He couldn't keep it in his pants when he saw a beautiful woman.

  If it wasn't for the apocalypse and his superpower, she'd never have given him the time of day.

  “Brian, who is she? Where's the vampire?”

  Even though Donna was grossed out inside, she still played it cool on the surface.

  Brian didn't look at her.

  He kept his eyes glued to Billy Jean's back and called out,

  “Hello, are you a survivor too? This mall is super dangerous. Are you all alone?”

  To avoid raising suspicion, Billy Jean had to turn around.

  She didn't budge but stood stock-still, pointed at her throat, and shook her head.

  Brian got the message right away.

  “You can't talk?”

  Billy Jean nodded, stifling the vampire growl in her throat, praying they'd scram.

  When Brian heard she couldn't talk, his dirty mind started working overtime.

  If she couldn't talk, it meant he could have his fun with her on the sly, and nobody would be the wiser.

  “Baby, go pick your clothes first. This woman looks fishy. I'll stay here and grill her.”

  Brian whispered to Donna.

  Donna saw right through his game.

  After all, he'd pulled this stunt more than once.

  She wasn't going to stop him.

  In fact, she was kind of glad.

  After Brian got his kicks, she could dodge his advances for a while.

  “Okay, be careful.”

  Before leaving, Donna gave Billy Jean a scornful look.

  In the apocalypse, still dressing to the nines.

  She had it coming to her.

  Later, she'd have to clean up the mess.

  What a pain in the neck.

  Billy Jean had been spying from under her hat brim.

  Seeing the look Donna gave her and the lust in Brian's eyes, she knew what was coming down the pike.

  Hehe!

  There are always fools who don't value their lives.

  Billy Jean gave the man a flirty wink and then stiffly walked into the fitting room behind her.

  Brian was so hot and bothered he didn't notice Billy Jean's stiff legs.

  He only saw her come-hither look.

  “So she's a floozy.”

  He fumbled with his belt and charged into the fitting room like a bull in a china shop.

  But instead of a beauty getting undressed, he got a face full of sharp claws ripping into his throat.

  Blood spurted out, and Billy Jean's eyes glowed red.

  Brian's eyes bugged out, and his bloodshot eyes stared at Billy Jean in disbelief.

  He didn't expect her to be a vampire.

  He, a big-shot superpower, had fallen for an ordinary vampire's trick.

  He was pissed. Real pissed.

  Billy Jean curled her lips into a wicked grin.

  Drop dead.

  She yanked her claws back, and a geyser of blood gushed from Brian's throat.

  Red splotches dotted the small fitting room, and more sprayed onto Billy Jean.

  Brian clutched his bleeding neck and crashed to the ground, glaring at Billy Jean with a look that could kill.

  There was a firestorm of hatred in his eyes.

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